cynarion's Carrion Crown PbP

Game Master cynarion

so have you had a chance to look over Tomnus yet cynarion?

He's moving in order of the submissions. The list is on the Campaign Indo tab at the top.

What Eben said. Tomnus is 8th on the list from here. I have actually reviewed everyone up to Garador, but I haven't had time to transfer my on-paper train trip scrawls into messageboard posts yet.

Would it help people if I appended a 'reviewed' tag to the characters I've already reviewed? And perhaps a link to the review post?

That's a kind offer. If it wouldn't be too much trouble, putting a 'R' next to those you've reviewed would probably be nice for those waiting their turn in the queue or if you've taken a few out of order. I think linking to the specific post would be unnecessary... but that's just me.

"CAW! Now I must take wing and devour emoticons!"

Yeah I second the crazy birds ramblings.

You wish to eat emoticons? ;)

Would it help people if I appended a 'reviewed' tag to the characters I've already reviewed? And perhaps a link to the review post?

I think that would be highly awesome.

I noticed the question marks on my submission. As a native Ustalaven I had planned to make him ethnically Varissian but because of the sort of ominous look that Surge ended up with I'm think perhaps half Chelish. I'm probably going to go with that unless you object.

Alenthor Blackfrost wrote:

Think everything is finally done on my profile check it and let me knwo if you need more.

Thanks.

1. What you've written gives me a good understanding of Alenthor's personality, but not really how he reacts to others or works under pressure. What kind of man is he, deep down? Who is he at his worst? At his best?

2. You have Gnome down as a cultural language, but I don't see any evidence that Gnome is spoken widely in Alkenstar/Martel/the Mana Wastes in general. The others you've listed appear to be much more common.

Otherwise, looks good. Good luck!

Was adding Gnome if cultruals are free since Kelish would be my cultrual language thus freeing up a language spot.

Ill update personality tonight.

Walter has an alias. Just saw that the campaign info tab said he doesn't, and he does, so take that.

I hate this avatar the more I see it.

EDIT: Better. Much better.

You wish to eat emoticons? ;)

Starting with YOU, Winky Face! Mwahahahaha!

I will update the Campaign Info tab with review tags sometime in the next 15-16 hours or so.

I noticed the question marks on my submission. As a native Ustalaven I had planned to make him ethnically Varissian but because of the sort of ominous look that Surge ended up with I'm think perhaps half Chelish. I'm probably going to go with that unless you object.

Sounds fine to me, and if it gives you a good handle on the character's background then so much the better! : )

cynarion wrote:

2. You have Gnome down as a cultural language, but I don't see any evidence that Gnome is spoken widely in Alkenstar/Martel/the Mana Wastes in general. The others you've listed appear to be much more common.

Was adding Gnome if cultruals are free since Kelish would be my cultrual language thus freeing up a language spot.

Ah, I see. In which case, go ahead and take Gnome, because yes, Kelish would be free for Alenthor. There, proof I'm not going that far into mechanics on this pass or I would have figured that out! My apologies.

Walter has an alias. Just saw that the campaign info tab said he doesn't, and he does, so take that.

I hate this avatar the more I see it.

EDIT: Better. Much better.

Thanks. I will push that update through when I do the reviewed tag update overnight.

1. How does Aleksandyr know Jistka? If I remember correctly, it's a dead language from ancient northwestern Garund. Seems a little out of place for an Ustalavic nobleman.

You are correct and that was an oversight on my part. I found a GM’s wiki that was built as a primer for his personal campaign and it described Jistka as a language that Ustalavic nobles used so that the commoners wouldn’t understand them. I’ll look to find a replacement, preferably a language most commonly used by nobles in Ustalav.

2. This goes for all cavaliers, but I find the Order of the Dragon et cetera to be rather shapeless. I welcome your attempts to re-skin the Orders into something more setting-appropriate. For instance, perhaps the Order of the Dragon could be re-titled Order of the Sacred Shield after the Shield of Aroden. (I know there is potential confusion with the Order of the Shield here, but I'm just doing this on the fly.) If you can't think of something or don't have the time, that's cool. Not re-skinning the Orders will have zero impact on your submission's chances for successful selection.

My question regarding this would be whether or not you’re also looking at a mechanical reflection of a setting appropriate order. I would like to give the order more of an undead hunting bent in line with his order’s duties fighting off the remains of the Whispering Tyrant. I mentioned Lastwall in my background (home to crusaders and knights) so I think their duties would reflect in everyone who serves there. I think a more appropriate “Order of the Watcher-Lord” might be a good option, an order of knights sworn to Lastwall who do not have the divinity of a paladin. This may take a little bit of work, I’ll talk with others on the forum about it.

3. What is Aleksandyr up to now? His background story ends with him saving the Professor; how long ago was that? What has he been doing since? How does he work with others nowadays? What has his Order been up to? What will they think of him leaving to go to the Professor's funeral and thence, unbeknownst to them or Aleksandyr but knownst you you and me, on to a life of adventure? (That last is more a 'food for thought' than something you might particularly want to cover in your submission.)

Aleksandyr, the black sheep of the Ustalavic courts that he is, has spent his life in Lastwall. I’m wanting to give him a couple more years of age, older characters are generally more realistic for their capabilities and accomplishments. I like to think Lastwall is like the wall in the north in Game of Thrones; it’s a generally uneventful duty station but it requires men nonetheless. I would imagine Aleksandyr and the Order is expecting him to return shortly after the funeral to resume his duties. However, role play should play out how he and the order react to the potential of not returning as swiftly as he intended…

I’m going to go ahead and think over revising my character and over the next couple of days, expand on him.

Alright, I've created an Alias for my Kitsune Orace. I just wish that they had more pictures that fit the race XD

I've added an updated version of the character's background on this alias. I'll try and get one up for the inquisitor as well at some point (unless you think this character is far more interesting, haha).

Oh, and here are some rolls for Reikou...

Starting wealth: 3d6 ⇒ (6, 2, 5) = 13 = 130g

I wish I had the time to perhaps apply for this game, but I'm already attempting at another Carrion Crown campaign. That said, good luck with your campaign!

FYI, I had did some lore research and support the idea of the Shield of Aroden, considering the story of the Whispering Tyrant's defeat. My lore-fu is not very strong...

cynarion wrote:

1. How does Aleksandyr know Jistka? If I remember correctly, it's a dead language from ancient northwestern Garund. Seems a little out of place for an Ustalavic nobleman.

You are correct and that was an oversight on my part. I found a GM’s wiki that was built as a primer for his personal campaign and it described Jistka as a language that Ustalavic nobles used so that the commoners wouldn’t understand them. I’ll look to find a replacement, preferably a language most commonly used by nobles in Ustalav.

Ah, I see. That usage of Jistka seems to have disappeared with the Inner Sea World Guide, although there was something about it in the old Campaign Setting.

Other languages you could consider would be Azlanti (dead language of ancient Azlant (Atlantis analogue)), Necril (language of the undead), Aklo (language of the dark things from between the stars)--although both Necril and Aklo are kinda evil. Skald or Hallit would make them feel like they're 'slumming it'. Draconic could be used to shut out those who don't have arcane leanings. Ancient Osiriani would be interesting (reflecting the our-world Victorian fascination with Egypt). Shadowtongue could be another option, although I can't recall with any certainty how far Ustalav is from Nidal, I think it might be a good couple of countries away. And then there's the old fallback of Celestial.

cynarion wrote:

2. This goes for all cavaliers, but I find the Order of the Dragon et cetera to be rather shapeless. I welcome your attempts to re-skin the Orders into something more setting-appropriate. For instance, perhaps the Order of the Dragon could be re-titled Order of the Sacred Shield after the Shield of Aroden. (I know there is potential confusion with the Order of the Shield here, but I'm just doing this on the fly.) If you can't think of something or don't have the time, that's cool. Not re-skinning the Orders will have zero impact on your submission's chances for successful selection.

My question regarding this would be whether or not you’re also looking at a mechanical reflection of a setting appropriate order. I would like to give the order more of an undead hunting bent in line with his order’s duties fighting off the remains of the Whispering Tyrant. I mentioned Lastwall in my background (home to crusaders and knights) so I think their duties would reflect in everyone who serves there. I think a more appropriate “Order of the Watcher-Lord” might be a good option, an order of knights sworn to Lastwall who do not have the divinity of a paladin. This may take a little bit of work, I’ll talk with others on the forum about it.

I'm not really looking at mechanical alterations--pretty much just the name of the order and their edicts. The two of them together I think define the real flavour of the order, beyond its mechanics. And like I said, I'm happy for you to come up with a new name and some edicts--or not, as your free time and your interest dictates. : )

Have fun, I look forward to seeing your updates. : )

Actually, cynarion, while I have a desire to play I'm going to remove my bid in a spot for this game. Looking over my game, I see I primarily play martial characters and I now feel a desire to play a spellcaster. However, I don't believe I could make an elven wizard who could fit into your game nor is there enough time to do so. I want to thank you for considering me and am sorry I am revoking my bid this late in the game. Good luck, cynarion! Have fun with the AP. :)

Felt inspired, so revamped my backstory, focused more on Walter-- changed around elements and played with some things. It's all in my wonderful alias. :D

Actually, cynarion, while I have a desire to play I'm going to remove my bid in a spot for this game. Looking over my game, I see I primarily play martial characters and I now feel a desire to play a spellcaster. However, I don't believe I could make an elven wizard who could fit into your game nor is there enough time to do so. I want to thank you for considering me and am sorry I am revoking my bid this late in the game. Good luck, cynarion! Have fun with the AP. :)

Of course, you could always multiclass... ; )

Sorry to see you go! Good luck with your search for a spellcasting character. : )

Hey folks, just going through some housekeeping on the Campaign Info tab and I have a few questions and things to say.

Hey folks, just going through some housekeeping on the Campaign Info tab and I have a few questions and things to say.

I wanted to drop Dreygard in favor of Haunrar. Denison was an accident.

cynarion wrote:

Hey folks, just going through some housekeeping on the Campaign Info tab and I have a few questions and things to say.

I wanted to drop Dreygard in favor of Haunrar. Denison was an accident.

Cool, thanks.

Just looking at the Campaign Info tab, I think the diversity of the characters submitted is really cool. So many options to choose from. I imagine it's a double-edged sword for the DM: on the one hand, an awesome group of characters will be selected. But on the other hand, so many great characters will get cut.

That's the hard part for me as a GM on these boards. There are some good players with interesting characters, and you'd like to let them all play.

Obviously, you have to tell a lot of people "no" after they've gone to so much trouble thinking up and statting characters. That's no fun. I've been on both sides of that fence.

My suggestion is that if you don't get to play in this game, keep your avatar and apply in other games you think you'd enjoy. A few tweaks, a new backstory, and voila, your character can get a chance to shine somewhere else in this big world, not too different than you first imagined him.

Hey, handsome! I tidied up my profile page and it's even more fabulous than before.

Flori's updated backstory, including as it does a more concrete link to the Professor and some insight into Flori's genuine feelings, is a vast improvement. You have taken Flori from what was originally quite a two-dimensional character with a schtick to a much more rounded individual with her own foibles, wants, and emotional raw spots. Kudos.

All that being said, I still see the selection of Flori to the party as a risk, because she has the potential to make light of what will be a quite serious adventure path. The sorts of scenarios that run through my head are Flori making goo-goo eyes at the bad guys, or totally ignoring the clear and present danger represented by an assassin just to make one last romantic suggestion to a potential paramour. They're the sorts of things I'm not keen on seeing.

Now, all that being said, I think Flori is a solid contender, provided you are willing to play her in a somewhat toned-down fashion. Less over-the-top Phyllis Diller, and more...I dunno. Xander from Buffy? Havoc from Fullmetal Alchemist? Peter Parker, in some incarnations? One can be unlucky in love and pining for a mate without being over-the-top. Does that make sense?

Lastly, Inspired by Greatness has to apply to a spell you can cast now; if Flori doesn't already know magic missile she can't apply the trait. If Flori is selected, however, we can deal with that in the Discussion thread over the first day or two. I may be willing to make an exception.

Sorry to have missed you out for so long!

cynarion: Yeah, that was more humor for this thread. I'd hate for Flori to actually ever find a lover. The fun's over if Gilligan gets off the island.

I like her better being attracted to men who she knows don't feel the same way. It's something we can all relate to, and being an adventurer, "settling down" is off the table, anyway. You can stay home and make babies, or go fight the evil threat to life as we know it, but not both.

I've never played a female or cared for in-game romances. Just not where I like to go with my adventuring time. This just struck me as amusing without being creepy. Given her charisma and racial intimidation bonus, I think Flori would rather scare the baddies than try to charm them. Making eyes would be a bluff attempt.

If it's got to be a spell she knows now, mage armor would be a great choice, so no problem there. Toughness is one of her bonus feats, but it works best if you take it right away, and experience has taught me that a mage always should (especially if you're rolling hps). Toppling can wait. That, and Flori has that innate half orc toughness, anyway. She grew up in a half orc community, more or less, and it's part of her culture. Some of the "militant" types still speak Abyssal, as well as Orc, in private. There are some mean ones in the bad parts of town.

She's a lighthearted romantic with a mean streak when things get tough. Then, she's all business.

cynarion: Yeah, that was more humor for this thread. I'd hate for Flori to actually ever find a lover. The fun's over if Gilligan gets off the island.

I like her better being attracted to men who she knows don't feel the same way. It's something we can all relate to, and being an adventurer, "settling down" is off the table, anyway. You can stay home and make babies, or go fight the evil threat to life as we know it, but not both.

I've never played a female or cared for in-game romances. Just not where I like to go with my adventuring time. This just struck me as amusing without being creepy. Given her charisma and racial intimidation bonus, I think Flori would rather scare the baddies than try to charm them. Making eyes would be a bluff attempt.

Great to hear. Thanks for the clarifications. And good luck! : )

So Lem's background is that for 30 years he has been traveling the countryside of Varno, giving food to people, conducting weddings, and just generally helping the physical and spiritual needs of the common people of Ustalav. I thought the best way to describe this would be showing the scene representing Lem's "Chance Savior" trait. So, here goes:

** spoiler omitted **...

You know, I am surprised that I don't actually have much to say. I keep thinking I should ask questions like "tell me about Lem's childhood", or "who does Lem know now?", but every time I articulate a question to ask, I find myself either realising that I can read between the lines and answer the question myself, or that it's not germane to who Lem is now and how he sees himself and his relationship with others.

Nice job.

No further comment from me. Good luck!

Lem Longbarrow wrote:

So Lem's background is that for 30 years he has been traveling the countryside of Varno, giving food to people, conducting weddings, and just generally helping the physical and spiritual needs of the common people of Ustalav. I thought the best way to describe this would be showing the scene representing Lem's "Chance Savior" trait. So, here goes:

** spoiler omitted **...

You know, I am surprised that I don't actually have much to say. I keep thinking I should ask questions like "tell me about Lem's childhood", or "who does Lem know now?", but every time I articulate a question to ask, I find myself either realising that I can read between the lines and answer the question myself, or that it's not germane to who Lem is now and how he sees himself and his relationship with others.

Nice job.

No further comment from me. Good luck!

Great, thanks! Yeah, I've thought a bit about his family and childhood and everything, but I wanted to focus more on where he is now.

And before someone sees all the wandermeal rations he's carting around and thinks he's a weirdo, that's the food that he gives out to people as he travels from town to town (not the tastiest, but it's cheap, filling, and lasts a long time).

Thanks for considering me and for putting in all of this time to carefully review and respond to everyone's submissions. It's much appreciated.

cynarion wrote:

Lem Longbarrow wrote:

So Lem's background is that for 30 years he has been traveling the countryside of Varno, giving food to people, conducting weddings, and just generally helping the physical and spiritual needs of the common people of Ustalav. I thought the best way to describe this would be showing the scene representing Lem's "Chance Savior" trait. So, here goes:

** spoiler omitted **...

You know, I am surprised that I don't actually have much to say. I keep thinking I should ask questions like "tell me about Lem's childhood", or "who does Lem know now?", but every time I articulate a question to ask, I find myself either realising that I can read between the lines and answer the question myself, or that it's not germane to who Lem is now and how he sees himself and his relationship with others.

Nice job.

No further comment from me. Good luck!

Great, thanks! Yeah, I've thought a bit about his family and childhood and everything, but I wanted to focus more on where he is now.

And before someone sees all the wandermeal rations he's carting around and thinks he's a weirdo, that's the food that he gives out to people as he travels from town to town (not the tastiest, but it's cheap, filling, and lasts a long time).

Thanks for considering me and for putting in all of this time to carefully review and respond to everyone's submissions. It's much appreciated.

And don't take any grammar points away because of my split infinitive. I thought it would have sounded pretentious had I reworded that. :-)

Making a Undine Cleric of Gorzeh will have him posted tomorrow!

Money Roll:4d6 ⇒ (1, 5, 1, 2) = 9 x10 = 90 so I'll take the average of 140gp then.

Well, I figure I'll give this a shot. I've always wanted to play Carrion Crown, but I've never really gotten into PbP. I think this might change my mind about it.

Howdy! Welcome.

First thing I noticed is that Kyras is underdone for hit points--you get maximum hit points at first level if you take a PC class, so Kyras should have 8hp. I think you're also missing your favoured class bonus, so look out for that. Given the character's background, you might want to take a rank in Sleight of Hand, and/or consider a trait that makes Sleight of Hand a class skill. The Varisian Wanderer trait would actually appear to be tailor-made for Kyras' background.

I like Kyras' history, but I feel like I'm not necessarily sure who he is now. What motivates him? What interests him? How does he form relationships with others? See if you can get that across, it will make his background more complete.

If you're really keen on shadow spells, you might also consider the Shadowcaster archetype from Inner Sea Magic.

Good luck!

Great to hear. Thanks for the clarifications. And good luck! : )

Happy Valentine's Day! Gimme a kiss!

Flori puckers up, her arms wide, wanting to plant a toothy kiss right on your lips...

I don't think orcs kiss. That could hurt. Maybe they rub noses?

Lem Longbarrow wrote:

cynarion wrote:

Lem Longbarrow wrote:

So Lem's background is...

...Nice job...

Thanks for considering me and for putting in all of this time to carefully review and respond to everyone's submissions. It's much appreciated.

And don't take any grammar points away because of my split infinitive. I thought it would have sounded pretentious had I reworded that. :-)

Firstly, thanks for the thanks!

Secondly, I like split infinitives. I think doing it 'properly' sounds--as you say--pretentious. Plus I am a reformed dangling participle addict; it's been seven years since my last incident. ; )

On a more serious note, what I'm after when I talk about spelling and grammar are posts that come out more intelligible than this. (Please note I neither endorse nor take any responsibility for content on that page; I found it using a Google search.) If you can do better than that, you're hired. Or, to be more precise, you're not fired before the job starts. ; )

cynarion wrote:

Great to hear. Thanks for the clarifications. And good luck! : )

Happy Valentine's Day! Gimme a kiss!

Flori puckers up, her arms wide, wanting to plant a toothy kiss right on your lips...

I don't think orcs kiss. That could hurt. Maybe they rub noses?

Like Inuits? That's a nifty idea.

Thanks Flori, but (a) Valentine's Day was yesterday in my time zone and (b) I'm married with two kids. I will give you a hug though.

<Pats Flori awkwardly on the shoulder.>

Felt inspired, so revamped my backstory, focused more on Walter-- changed around elements and played with some things. It's all in my wonderful alias. :D

Cool. I actually can't think of much to add. I liked the old version of Walter too, particularly the way he felt a little less in control than this one does. Kind of like there was something ominous bubbling under the surface. I miss that...ominousness? But other than that, this looks like a fine background. : )

Lem Longbarrow wrote:

Lem Longbarrow wrote:

cynarion wrote:

Lem Longbarrow wrote:

So Lem's background is...

...Nice job...

Thanks for considering me and for putting in all of this time to carefully review and respond to everyone's submissions. It's much appreciated.

And don't take any grammar points away because of my split infinitive. I thought it would have sounded pretentious had I reworded that. :-)

Firstly, thanks for the thanks!

Secondly, I like split infinitives. I think doing it 'properly' sounds--as you say--pretentious. Plus I am a reformed dangling participle addict; it's been seven years since my last incident. ; )

On a more serious note, what I'm after when I talk about spelling and grammar are posts that come out more intelligible than this. (Please note I neither endorse nor take any responsibility for content on that page; I found it using a Google search.) If you can do better than that, you're hired. Or, to be more precise, you're not fired before the job starts. ; )

I do endorse the content on that page...in the manga format. Anime wasn't very good imo.

After reading a few of these reviews, I have a feeling that I'll have to expand both of my character's background a bit to stand a chance... but I'll just wait for the reviews and see what you think the main problems are. ;)

Here is my Mwangi witch, Adwa Namandi. All information is also on the profile.

I have only a few things to ask about Adwa.

Firstly, it seems from his backstory that he and his tribe have been working with non-evil undead creatures for quite some time. Given Golarion's stance that undead always equals evil (with only a handful of notable exceptions), do you have any rationale for making these undead non-evil? Or are they in fact animated by some other means?

White necromancy doesn't exist in Golarion, and I don't intend to change that with this AP.

Secondly, what will Adwa be like in play? It looks like he'll be the detached anthropologist type character, but I thought I'd ask directly.

Otherwise, Adwa's history looks cool. Good luck!

cynarion wrote:

On a more serious note, what I'm after when I talk about spelling and grammar are posts that come out more intelligible than this. (Please note I neither endorse nor take any responsibility for content on that page; I found it using a Google search.) If you can do better than that, you're hired. Or, to be more precise, you're not fired before the job starts. ; )

I do endorse the content on that page...in the manga format. Anime wasn't very good imo.

Can't say I'm familiar with either format of that one. My time for anime/manga is sadly limited, so I haven't seen/read as much as I would like. I can tell you that my favourite anime is Trigun. : )

In fact, I think I may go get the DVD right now. Nothing like being at home for the afternoon. : D

I've had a couple PbPs suddenly end, and find myself looking for just one more to jump into each day...

Respectfully submitting a dwarven ranger for your consideration - details within this character's profile page.

Just a couple of queries about Garador. Firstly, it might be worthwhile making it clear you've taken the falconer archetype in the statblock on the left of your profile page, that would have made me a little less confused about how Garador had an animal companion at level 1.

Secondly, how devoted is Garador to his worship of Erastil? Erastil is (1) a misogynist and (2) focuses primarily on community and giving back and settling down in one spot, all people pulling together to do the best they can sort of thing. How much of that will be reflected in the way Garador works with others? How devoted is he to the idea of settling down amongst a community to carry out Erastil's will?

I'm happy to have a discussion about what Erastil means to Garador, and if we have differing opinions about Erastil's worldview then perhaps we can iron them out.

That's it! I like the history about Garador's ancestors, that was cool. : )

Here is mathpro18's fighter. Sorry for the delay...been a busy couple days. He is fully built with background so let me know what you think.

I really like his background so I think this will be my only official submission for this game.

Howdy!

Okay, first things first, I will be using the revised DC for Antagonize as listed here, so if you made an assumption about the utility of the feat based on the way it's printed in Ultimate Magic, let's clear that up. (I still think it's a nifty feat, but now at least it isn't pretty much an autosuccess.)

Other than that, Tomnus is an interesting character. It's not usual to see a fighter with knowledge of mathematics or the Mathematical Prodigy trait, so he's quite intriguing in that way.

Edit: one other question; what's a Taldan doing in Ustalav? He's a long way from home.

Good luck!

After reading a few of these reviews, I have a feeling that I'll have to expand both of my character's background a bit to stand a chance... but I'll just wait for the reviews and see what you think the main problems are. ;)

Heh!

I remember you mentioning something to the effect that you hoped Reikou's sudden transport to Ustalav didn't sound too much like deus ex machina; relax, it doesn't. It makes more sense than a 1st level character making their way over the Crown of the World or sailing from Minkai to Varisia, that's for sure.

Am I right in assuming that Reikou's alternate form is a human of Tian-Min ethnicity, given the Forest of Spirits is right next door? I suppose if he were from the northwest then Tian-La would also make sense. Not that this has any in-game effect, I am just interested. : )

Perhaps contrary to your expectations, I think I know a fair bit about Reikou already. Between his stated alignment, his reactions to the Professor, his reluctance to fully embrace his potential destiny (at least so far) and the fact he's a Life oracle, I reckon I have a fair insight into his likely state of mind and how he would work with others.

So no additional comments from me, save to say that if we're still going when the Advanced Races Guide comes out (which I expect we will be) and you are selected, then you are welcome to mine that book for whatever will be useful in more fully defining your race. If you're selected we can talk then about whether we retcon stuff and swap in whatever is new and shiny in the book.

Good luck!

Wow that took awhile. Anyway, I think I've completed Vel Miro's character stats and backstory. Please Let me know what you think when you've got the time.

I've got the time if you've got the money...

(Sorry!)

Anyhoo, Vel Miro.

Firstly, I like the relatively subtle way you've included a downfall in Vel's story that explains why, as a 1st level character, he's incapable of the feats described in his background. Broken fingers and a significant scar will do that to you. : )

I'm also a fan of the very consistent feat and trait selection you've taken, it's clear that the almost mythical stories of Vel's capacity for deceit and manipulation are based in at least some kernel of truth. Good job there.

I would like to hear more about Vel's relationship with his eidolon, and also whether you as a player want to involve the original Infernius in the adventure in any way, or whether you simply see him as a foil for Vel's history, and that Vel has now moved on.

Good luck!

Aruetii wrote:

Well, I figure I'll give this a shot. I've always wanted to play Carrion Crown, but I've never really gotten into PbP. I think this might change my mind about it.

Howdy! Welcome.

First thing I noticed is that Kyras is underdone for hit points--you get maximum hit points at first level if you take a PC class, so Kyras should have 8hp. I think you're also missing your favoured class bonus, so look out for that. Given the character's background, you might want to take a rank in Sleight of Hand, and/or consider a trait that makes Sleight of Hand a class skill. The Varisian Wanderer trait would actually appear to be tailor-made for Kyras' background.

I like Kyras' history, but I feel like I'm not necessarily sure who he is now. What motivates him? What interests him? How does he form relationships with others? See if you can get that across, it will make his background more complete.

If you're really keen on shadow spells, you might also consider the Shadowcaster archetype from Inner Sea Magic.

Good luck!

** spoiler omitted **...

Awesome, all that makes sense.

I'm so glad I'm asking all these questions, I'm learning things about these potential PCs that I would otherwise miss out on. Of course, it's making my decisions this weekend harder, but still. : )

Alright, I've finished up the background for my Inquisitor character, so here he is if you'd prefer something that fits the setting a bit more than the kitsune ;)

I haven't come up with a build for him yet, but honestly I think I would want to see the rest of the party before choosing whether I go with a bow build or a melee build.

Intriguing!

Okay, so given there are no mechanics for me to compare with backstory here (yet), I figure I might as well outline my expectations based on the background you've added.

I'm guessing moderate to good physical stats with a high Intelligence but middling Wisdom...Charisma could go anywhere, but probably isn't super-high. Of course, this could cause issues with spellcasting, since Wisdom is the inquisitor's spellcasting stat, so perhaps I will be proven wrong, and perhaps there will be more emphasis in Theron's life henceforth on listening to his intuition and taking stock of the situation before him rather than his own innate prejudices.

If that's the case, some expansion on the effect Professor Lorrimor had on Theron's worldview would be welcome.

I can't see any archetypes that sound particularly useful for Theron, although his faith in Iomedae should make for an interesting character, especially as it appears to be a cornerstone of his life. To that end, I'd be willing to offer him the A Shining Beacon trait, but modified so that it affects undead. (Or something like it, this is just the one that came to mind.)

Having an inquisitor faithful to Iomedae will also give the whole Adventure Path a different feel; those loyal to Pharasma will be happy about destroying the undead but much less zealous about the other wrongs that need righting, whereas an Iomedaean is pretty much honour-bound to solve every problem they come across.

Which makes an Iomedaean an excellent tool for a GM looking for the party to swallow some plot hooks. ; )

So what do I mean with all this rambling?

Essentially I like the flavour, I like the direction, and I am intrigued to see how Theron would work in the context of this Adventure Path in particular. Good job, and good luck!

Windstar wrote:

Here is my submission, I hope you like her....

Thanks!

I see lots about events in Ta'Mara's history in your submission, but not so much about who she is today, and what motivates her. Can you perhaps expand on who she is, what she does, what she likes, and what she wants? The kinds of things that might tell me about her as a character and how she'd work with others in the party. That would be a great help. : )

Not sure where your thoughts are, I will do whart I can....

When the Prof. visited and hired Ta'Mara's "family" as guides, they had several deep conversations getting her interested in seeking out old relics/locations/histories, her talents in scouting and fighting ability should assist any party that would invite her along.

Hopefully this helps you out, let me know.

I have another submission which supersedes my previous one of Dreygard (similar concept though). Another half-orc, but this one is going to be a Standard Bearer Cavalier/Bard who will eventually become a Battle Herald PrC.

Meet Haünrar Stridenvekter


Howdy!

First things first--I would love it if we could drop the umlaut. Typing H-A-Alt+0252-N-R-A-R every time I want to refer to the character will get old fast. Quite aside from the fact that I fall into the camp that thinks the heävy mëtal ümlaut is deserving of derision, I find it hard to believe that anyone would have bothered to transliterate the orc language to the point where it required diacritics.

That aside, you have an interesting history for Haünrar.

First though, a mechanical issue: the gendarme and standard bearer archetypes are incompatible, as they both replace Supreme Charge. You will have to choose one or the other.

Haünrar's desire to move up beyond his station is interesting because it's not something that most peasants living in Ustalav get to do, let alone a half-orc thrown out of Belkzen. Until he gets some respect he's likely to have a pretty rough life.

I do like the idea of the masterwork-but-not battle horn, and your plans to move Haünrar into the Battle Herald class, but I also have a few questions.

The Order of the Cockatrice seems a little out of place for Haünrar; its edicts are:

The cavalier must keep his own interests and aims above those of all others. He must always accept payment when it is due, rewards when earned, and an even (or greater) share of loot. The cavalier must take every opportunity to increase his own stature, prestige, and power.

That just doesn't seem to match up to the way Haünrar's personality is described here:

Haünrar is ecstatic that he no longer lives with orcs. He hated being dirty all the time and eating spoiled meat from gods knows where. Now, he keeps himself fastidiously clean; not to the point of mania, but he will be sure to field wash every night while out on adventures. Since moving to Ustalav, he has been in a constant good mood. He greets all of his new friends with a cheery hello and although he doesn't know how to dance, it doesn't keep him from trying when performing at the local taverns. He is intensely loyal to his friends and community, and will always help those in need. Although lawful, his loyalties extend more to his friends and immediate community.

That sounds much more like the Order of the Dragon, or maybe Order of the Shield to me. (For more information on other orders, see here.)

Also, you've taken the Indomitable Faith trait, but I'm unable to see where you've outlined the deity from which Haünrar draws such faith. Or are you talking about a more generic 'I had a hard time in Belkzen but never gave up' sort of faith? If that's the case, then the trait makes sense, I guess I'm just used to identifying it--as a faith trait--as being linked to an actual religious faith.

Other than those, I think I have a decent handle on the character. Good luck!

Cynarion, you must have powered up with a double-espresso... because you are tearing through your reviews this evening! 8O