Reta gets surpriz round. Fat frog then not so surprized. Sleeping fat-head silly hat lady might be having bad day.
"...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!! DIE MAGIC SOUL EATER WOMAN!!"
for
Mogmurch yelling makes him curious and he steps to the door and looks in! Looking at the giant frog, the goblin stays by the door so bravely, and starts to fumble around his boot bag again!
Reta goes on yelling at the now awake goblin shaman.
for
From the boot, Mogmurch pulls out a tube of sorts and starts to cackle madly as he aims the tube and starts to light the fuse!
ME AM SMARTEST! ME AM BESTEST! ME HAVE PRESENT OF FIRE FLOWERS!
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"Yaaarh! You be wicked goblin!" Reta says, slicing nothing but air.
for
"Reta will be one goblins above all..."
Aiming the Sky Rocket: 1d20 + 4 - 4 ⇒ (1) + 4 - 4 = 1
Damage: 2d6 ⇒ (5, 6) = 11
Random Miss: 1d8 ⇒ 2
The goblin squeals with delight as the Sky Rocket ignites, flying towards the big not goblin thing!
FIRE FLOWERS!
Reta grumbles at the hat lady, playing a strange dance of misses. But this time, she hits hard!
for
Still chuckling madly, Mogmurch steps into the room and into a corner. Hands moving quickly, it seems that the goblin has made a bomb!
YOU EAT THIS!
YOU BURN FOR POOG!
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Two blades find their mark and there is a big boom!
The stupid hat lady tries her best to fend off the trio pressing in on here but it is a fools errand. The frog escapes into the forest to later die of a lonely heart.
The Goblin squad begins to examine the room.
The majority of these objects here are filthy and broken, but 10 minutes or so of sorting and scavenging turns up some interesting finds.
All of these items (broken and functional alike) are strangely decorative, depicting colorful serpentine dragons, towering cliffs, delicate humanoid figures, and strange pagodas—not that a goblin would know a pagoda from a tool shed.
Even the filthy or broken clutter here could be worth about 600 gp to the right collector, but as they are mostly made of bamboo, exotic wood, and in some cases paper, they’re probably more fun to burn.
Among the more obviously valuable objects are 140 gp, a bejeweled silver and jade lantern built to look like a coiled dragon worth 150 gp, a dozen masterwork shuriken, an ivory and gold fan depicting a gecko walking amid cherry blossoms worth 80 gp (the reverse side of this fan has been used by Vorka to draw a crude map of Brinestump, not unlike the one Scribbleface created, and contains a secret that the goblins are unlikely to decipher anytime soon), a long hairpin with a red pearl at one end worth 150 gp, a wand of create food and water with only 2 charges left, and an elixir of love in a crystal vial shaped like a heart (the vial itself is worth 50 gp).
The red chest, though, is the object of your quest.
Unlocked, it contains several fireworks. The chest itself is heavy and worth 150 gp, and there were obviously once many more fireworks within (probably stolen by Scribbleface) but those that remain should be more than enough to satisfy the chief for at least a few days. The fireworks in the chest consist of 14 Desnan candles, 20 paper candles, and seven skyrockets.
Mogmurch's eyes widen, his hands reach out towards the fireworks, and his breathing becomes a bit ragged. After a few moments of salivating, he then remembers the chief, and that he was sent to get these artifacts.
We need bring back to Gutwad! Be bestest heroes of Licktoads ever!
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As the credits roll there are several cut scenes -
First cut scene:
The Goblin Four attending a huge celebratory feast in their honour!
Second cut scene:
Chief Gutwad marrying Poog off to his daughter, the fearsomely corpulent and ferociously lusty Gupy Wartbits.
Third cutscene:
The Goblin Four being given their new titles and positions by the Chief!
Poog - Head Village Watcher,
Chuffy - Overseer of Village Stabbings.
Reta - Mistress of the Pig Pit
Mogmurch - Boss of Big Fire.
Roll-out takes and blooper reel!
/END CREDITS./
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You are the heroes of the Licktoad Tribe, living legends after you triumphed against the terrible goblin cannibal Vorka and recovered many fireworks from her lair. Your tribe used the fireworks to great effect, but one day while you were out scrounging for more fireworks, adventurers came into the swamp and wiped out your tribe. You returned to your home to find it in ruins.
Now homeless, you have decided to travel to the closest tribe of goblins you know about—the Birdcrunchers. Maybe they’ll have room for you to join! Only, now that you’ve arrived in Birdcruncher territory, something seems wrong.
The Birdcrunchers appear unusually nervous and frightened, cowering around the entrance to their cave. They aren’t even trying to defend their territory. And now, a wrinkled old goblin with bulging eyes is waddling out of the crowd, approaching you. She’s obviously some sort of shaman—maybe even the chieftain. If anyone here knows whether or not you can join the tribe, it’d likely be her!
The wrinkled old goblin woman who approaches you is introduced as Mummy Sprattleharsh.
Her eyes bulge from her wrinkled face, and she walks hunched over, leaning on a gnarled wooden staff decorated with puppy tails and horse ears. She wears a ratty doghide gown cinched with a rope belt from which hang dog’s paws, a pair of horseshoes, a fearsomely large dead stirge, and the pickled and shrunken head of a bright blue mite.
“Well, well! What have we here? Licktoads, by the look of you, and from what I hear, orphans as well, hmm? Looking for a new place to live, I suspect? Well, you might be in luck, because we need new blood. Our own chieftains have been... lacking... in chieftainish ways. We’ve been having problems lately with an ogre and his fire breathing boars, you see, and any goblins capable of killing the boars and driving off the ogre... or driving off the boars and killing the ogre... or... or whatever—well, they’ll not only be welcomed into Birdcruncher territory with open arms. They’ll be made chieftains, one and all!”
With that, the gathered Birdcruncher goblins suddenly animate into cheers and song. Eager and excited, they surge out of the cave to welcome their saviors, but suddenly freeze as the old woman shrieks out a command for silence. The goblins freeze in place, and she continues in a softer voice. “But we can’t just assume you’re the stuff chieftains are made of. You might just be lucky. No, no... before we accept you as our saviors and before you’ll even have a chance to face off against Pa Munchmeat and his pig... I declare we have a Chieftain Moot!”
The gathered goblins erupt into cheers again, and you all know why — a Chieftain Moot is a day-long festival of games and dares, a tradition among the local tribes when the need to select a new chief arises. Those goblins who want to be considered for the role must endure a number of trials during the moot, and if they survive
and win, they earn the respect and support of the rest of the tribe.
Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh barks a few orders, and the Birdcrunchers scurry off to start organizing the moot. She then invites
you all into the cave to sit and warm their feet by the fire.
Many Birdcrunch Goblins mutter curiously and stare, they appear to be in awe.
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Poog will join the Wise Mummy into the cave, eyes glinting dangerously as he stares into the fire with awe.
"Zarongel bless you with lots of dead bad dogs and FIRE!"
As much as he might be tempted to, he refrains from visiting the blessing of Zarongel on the cave, and sits down to listen to what the matria matria... mummy has to say!
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There is much oooh and aaah at the words of the Goblin heroes!
"You one day be great like Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh!" they exclaim, they then quietly whisper (in both fear and delight) "She made one warrior who offended her vomit up a handful of spiny toads, and once set fire to a chief who interrupted her!"
Another Goblin chimes in "She made this one goblin who tried to curse the tribe write down the word “breathe”—after which he promptly forgot how to breathe and died on the spot!" They shriek with sadistic glee! "Mummy, wonderful she is, any new ruler would be wise to listen to her—or else!"
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The Goblin Heroes get to spend a day and a night resting and preparing for the next day’s moot.
Most of the Birdcrunchers spend the day preparing for the moot itself(and they’re unusually secretive, for goblins, about what types of dares and trials they’re readying for the you!).
That evening, a huge feast is held around the cave’s central bonfire. The feast consists almost entirely of various bird dishes—seagull soup, charred grackle, raven’s-eye pudding, vulture-ups, spicy sparrow poppers, and squeaky beakies are just a portion of the often-challenging dishes presented to you all during the night.
As darkness falls, Wise Mummy brings out the fabled Crunchy Crown of the Birdcruncher Tribe—a crown made out of bird skulls and bones and wings and twigs. She places the Crunchy Crown near the bonfire
"Tomorrow, the Birdcrunchers will have a new chief, and this one will be able to kick that ugly Munchmeat ogre out of Ravenroost! She lets that sink in a moment, then continues "Whoever can prove her worth tomorrow at the moot will be granted the right not only to wear the Crunchy Crown, but also the right to loot the Chieftain’s treasure chest!". At this, the Birdcrunchers oooh and ahhh appropriately.
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Poog iz goblin of Zarongel! Poog is inwardly glad that some of the tribe of Licktoads didn't make it -- Gupy Wartbits was too much goblin for him to handle -- not that he'd ever admit that!
But the Birdcrunchers, they know birds and ritual and food bone crown!
They might even know more of the ways of Zarongel, and if they don't, Poog can teach them!
Poog's teachings!
"Dead bad dog iz only bad dog!" "Fire iz from Zarongel's heart to bad things!" "Healz from Zarongel's heart to good goblins!"
Poog will also be keeping eye out for stupid rigged riding contests or hints that there might be one!
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First Dare: The Blind Bird Shoot
The chieftains-in-waiting are led by a whooping throng of Goblins to the center of the valley, blindfolded, and given a short bow and three arrows each (each contestant’s arrows have fletching of a different color from those of the other contestants so the arrows can be identified after they’re shot). The Birdcrunchers clamber into trees or sit on rocks that ring the valley.
Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh explains the rules – ”I will releases three cages of seagulls over the count of SIXTY! You must shoot down as many of the dinners-to-be as possible. The gulls in the first flock are worth TWO points, those in the second FOUR points, and those in the third SIX points, but each flock is a bit farther away than the previous one, making it more difficult to notice”.
As the dare begins, a few rounds of relative silence (punctuated now and then by goblin sounds and Mummys count) pass before the first cage is released. You hear Wise Mummy swiftly dive to the ground.