GM Spiteful RNG's Incredible Emporium

Game Master DualJay

Iosif wades confidently towards the fighting, and casts Grease on the ground beneath the goblins, attempting to hit only those at a little distance from Brandybuck. The earth at their feet begins to shine as if it were laden with dew.

1d20 ⇒ 20

The final goblin vaults off of the writhing grass towards the group of goblins, briefly balances on a pebble, and finishes with a lunge almost 10 feet to the group.

The goblins start moving cautiously towards the opposite side of the clearing as one unit.

They've all delayed initiative to dead last, basically. So they'll act as a group - but so will you.

How to be a jerk 101: Have the baddies act in block initiative.

So does he slip on the greased area?

1d20 ⇒ 15 Nope, he jukes it.

Ingwë Elensar pouts, disgusted at his inability to hit the Alchemist. He drops to the ground, almond eyes burning with displeasure.
Stealth: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (4) + 6 = 10
Ingwë resumes his cat-like crawl through the brush, moving carefully to the side and then forward, silently assuring himself that the third time would be the charm.

Yeardleight follows a short distance behind Ingwe, maybe 20 feet, still ready to launch his Snowball spell at anyone that may approach them.

Stealth: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (15) + 1 = 16

Our cover is already blown, is it not? If not, stealth away, but I want to make sure the others aren't getting funny looks from the goblins.

Once he'd padded forward further, Ingwë rose slightly out of the brush, bow and arrow in hand.
This time, you're mine, Ingwë thought viciously as he raised the shortbow again and fired, sending another long shaft the alchemist's way.
Attack: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (18) + 2 = 20

Your cover is blown - they know someone is there. You can stealth so long as you stay in the woods, which everyone but Buck is doing - assuming he wants to charge into the entangled territory.

Also, when you roll an attack, roll damage as well, regardless of what the attack rolled. It's faster.

Assuming it hits, Ingwë's arrow deals:
Damage: 1d6 ⇒ 3
If its a sneak attack, add Sneak: 1d6 ⇒ 6, and then multiply it by 2.

Crits?

No, I have the Sap Adept feat. X2 damage on sneak attacks with bludgeoning weapons. That's why I've been sneaking like a b%~$~ this whole time.

Suddenly it all makes sense to me.

Brandy curses himself and continues forward avoiding the entangled area. He takes a deep breath and charges head long into the group of goblins.
I vote we call them goobies from now on, also im so confused was i not able to catch up with goobie alchemist?? and im finna die, maybe...
I take a double move action to get as close as I can to the goblins.

Iosif passes a glowing hand over his quarterstaff as he moves into melee. It begins to burn with a soft green fire.
He casts Shillelagh. If possible, he will attempt to flank the goblin group, keeping at a little distance.

Also Buck, I think you were pretty much already in melee.

With shrieks, the goblins pull out short swords and clubs - save the the alchemist, whose head seems to have grown - and rush Buck. Four of them and the alchemist manage to reach him. The others fan out to the left and right of the goblins attacking Buck.

4d20 ⇒ (13, 12, 9, 11) = 45

None of the normal goblins lay a finger on him.

The alchemist however, is faster - and has surprise on his side, as he attacks with a vicious bite.

1d20 + 5 + 2 + 2 ⇒ (9) + 5 + 2 + 2 = 18 Flanking and charging.
1d6 + 4 ⇒ (5) + 4 = 9

The alchemist and one of the normal goblins provoked an AoO - all of them did if you are using a reach weapon. You only have one, unless you have combat reflexes.

Assuming you didn't take an alternate racial trait, you have "Hatred: Dwarves gain a +1 racial bonus on attack rolls against humanoid creatures of the orc and goblinoid subtypes because of their special training against these hated foes."

Did that goobie hit me? I have 20AC. I also have combat reflexes
Buck holds his ground against the goblins and attacks the alchemist as he closes in attacking once with his hammer and once with his dwarven boulder helm. He also takes a swing at the closest golblin to the alchemist with his hammer.
A: 1d20 + 4 + 1 ⇒ (13) + 4 + 1 = 18 A: 1d12 + 3 ⇒ (1) + 3 = 4
AoO

A: 1d20 + 4 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 4 + 1 = 8 A: 1d4 + 3 ⇒ (1) + 3 = 4
Attack action

A: 1d20 + 4 + 1 ⇒ (13) + 4 + 1 = 18 A: 1d12 + 3 ⇒ (7) + 3 = 10
AoO

A 1!! are you kidding me? :(

Yeah, he was attacking VS flat-footed AC

Buck misses both attacks versus the alchemist, but instantly kills the other goblin with a whirling smash.

BTW you can all act now.

Ingwë's eyes narrow as he surveys the battle. He assumed his arrow finally hit the alchemist, but it didn't look like it ended up doing any significant damage. He couldn't be sure, but it didn't hold his attention long enough for him to worry about it. Ingwë focused his attention on any entangled goblins (I think Goblin C?), and then carefully lowered himself to the ground, out of the goblin's line of sight, and then hopped back up, releasing another arrow.
Stealth: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (20) + 6 = 26
Attack: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (8) + 2 = 10
Damage: 1d6 ⇒ 6
Sneak: 1d6 ⇒ 1 x2 if applicable.
Ingwë felt a little ridiculous popping up and down as he was, especially against such creatures as goblins, but reminded himself that just as bobbing up and down on a handsome man looked silly, it was unquestionably the most effective way to go about things.

If you've already successfully used Stealth at least 10 feet from your target, you can make one ranged attack and then immediately use Stealth again. You take a –20 penalty on your Stealth check to maintain your obscured location.

Not easy, and that attack misses regardless.

Minus 20 is harsh. Is there a way for Ingwe to recover his stealths?

Sniping is tough. Even with full perception penalties for distance (which I basically only use for sniping), it comes out to about -15.

How far away am I? I never specifically asked, but I've been assuming like 60 ft. I guess I didn't expect the penalties for sniping to be so severe. If I'm not going to hit anything anyway, then I'll stop attacking and focus on other thiefy things.

About 40-50 feet from where they are now.

Gotcha. In the future, I'll specify a lot more how much I close and ask if I have a chance of hitting anybody. For now, I'll just give up on archery and maybe get closer or something. Thanks for clearing this up for me!!

Yeardleigh moves forward, putting less distance between himself and Ingwe than before, now only about 10 feet. He still holds his spell at the ready should Ingwe be attacked.
Stealth: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (10) + 1 = 11

Yeardleigh - and all of you, save maybe Iosif for being from the frozen north - would know that Goblins focus on the most immediate threat, AKA buck.