Chuffy looks around as though he has no idea where he has been.
Why Chuffy feel like this? So empty... Thoughtfully, he places a hand to his chin and feels several bulbous masses. [i]UGH WHY CHUFFY SO UGLY!{/i] the goblin screams and throws his head back after his soul-searching twenty seconds of reflection.
Back to his irritable, stabby nature, Chuffy takes advantage of his tribesmen's lethargy and pounce on as many truffles as he can get his grubby hands on.
________
What? Reta looks around at the other goblins, unsure. Where? Her eyes narrow to suspicious slits. Reta so happy, now so... not happy. Why they steal Reta's joy? Her eyes send daggers towards all of her companions. When she sees Mogmurch start rushing towards the hut, Reta quickly follows, trying to take the lead. "Not before Reta, you sneaky gobbie!"
This old grain silo is empty save for fallen thatching, crumbled stones, and remnants of long-ruined grain. A tangle of straw, branches, tattered cloth, and other items form a massive nest in the rafters.
You spot a bulging leather satchel hanging in the nest
"RETA FIND! RETA KEEP!!!" Reta squeals as she instinctively points at a satchel hanging in the nest. She immediately begins clawing her way up the side of the silo in an attempt to make sure she beats any other goblins up to the nest.
You find a piece of polished red coral (worth 200 gp), a rolled-up portrait of an old manand his dog (worth 50 gp), a jade egg (worth 150 gp), a potion, 2 scrolls, a wand, and a box containing incense of some kind.
Potion of Levitate
Scroll of Detect Undead
Scroll of Dimension Door
Wand of Shatter (12 Charges)
Incense of Meditation
Mogmurch doesn't notice the satchel until Reta points it out and then he congratulates her for her great service to the empire. "Good work, Marquise Fathead! You good climber - see if any token of my lady love there for me to 'member her by."
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From her perch in the nest, Reta begins throwing items down at Mogmurch. "YOU LADY LOVE, THAT FUNNY. SHE CLEARLY NOT LIKE BOYS LIKE YOU, SHE RETA LADY LOVE; ONLY HAVE HEART FOR RETA." Almost immediately, a potion, 2 scrolls, a wand, and a container of incense fly down. "MAGIC STUFF; WORTHLESS" she yells. Holding two smaller items, one in each hand, she discards both. "STUPID CORAL AND DUMB EGG." They both fall down towards their Emperor's head. Finally, she unrolls a painting of some sort.
And immediately begins tearing into it! "WHO PAINT DOG! UGLY, UGLY DOG!" She tears the portrait in half, letting the half with an old man on it float down while she rips the other half to shreds, eating some pieces and letting others fly to the wayside, until no scrap is left with anything that appears canine.
"SATCHEL BEST THING. EVERYTHING ELSE UGLY. RETA KEEP ALL HER THINGS IN LADY LOVE'S PURSE!!!" She begins packing a variety of her own personal items into the rough and smelly satchel, which she flings over her shoulder like a Taldan noble's fashionable bag.
Too busy gorging himself on truffles, Chuffy remains oblivious to the haul that Reta has dumped onto Moggy's glorious head. Chuffy feel so nauseous but can only eat more!
"Squealy, find more! Poogy, make Squealy do what Chuffy say!"
Mogmurch accepts the tribute that Reta is offering with his usual imperial graciousness.
He examines the potion and is certain that his lady love intended all these items as tokens of her love. "Hey, Bishop Poog, youse know how to detection magics? Need to know what my darling left as gifts of her love!"
Mournfully, he takes the red coral and tucks it next to his broken heart.
Suddenly a portal appears in the rafters and a large clay blob falls out with a *SHLOOOMP*
Forming together into a slimy, slightly off semblance of Poog, it accepts the items and begins to inspect them.
"Poog Assumptions Active. Accessing memory banks..."
Holding up the item it identified, the abomination's gravelly voice rings out again. "Incense of Meditation"
Nodding towards Chuffy, it instructs Squealy Nord to gather truffles for the group.
Without another word, it hands the items back to the Lord Emperor and dissolves into the ground below.
It's fairly simple to make your way back to the cave you call home. Anticipation of fanfare and cheering for the victorious return swimming about your heads. However....you find something else entirely as you approach.
Shouts and screams pierce the air surrounding the Birdcruncher cave. The smell of the feast is... different. Mixed into the scent is a greasy smell peppered with burning wood, straw, and sulfur. The smell might even be goblin—cooking goblin. All of the preparations are in shambles. The tables are overturned, the cook pots have been knocked over, and the goblin dog pens are on fire.
A large effigy of your past victories stumbles about the cave, cackling. "You green hide taste 'ike bird pie when I finish!"
The voice seems oddly familiar...but hard to place.
This is an animated object.
It has Construct Traits and hardness 5
Every added 5 you beat the DC, ask a question
========================
Poog
Reta
Chuffy
Mogmurch
Effigy
Chuffy heads for the fire, the only thing he knows is safe right now, and fires a bolt at the talky pumpkin head! "Emperor Moggy, command pumpkin to be eated and not to eated us!" he screams.
________
Seeing his empire under attack, His Majesty Moggie does not hesitate to leap valiantly into action! "Death, death to the invader!"
"MOGGY! WHAT YOU LET HAPPEN TO YOUR KINGDOM!!!" Reta's question seems more of an indictment. She draws her bow and begins firing on the pumpkin-headed effigy.
The abomination slides out of the tall grass and points at the opponent.
"Pet! Attack!"
Squealy Nord rushes forward and bites at the effigy.
Moving closer, it tugs the wand of fireball from its pants and gives it a flick, expending the final charge before tossing it aside.
Somehow, the creature avoids the worst of the flames as it lashes out at the charging boar. However, it fails to connect with the mascot.
Reta fires an arrow at the opponent, which bounces off...however, the fire scorches the beast!
Chuffy fires a bolt of his own, but it flies up in to the ceiling without incident.
Mogmurch's bomb connects with a deafening explosion, coating the animation with flames.
The automaton looks around the field. Focusing in on the small green beast that seemed to hurt the most, it trudges forward. Lashing out at the holy man, it's arms scrape over Poog's armor with but a glancing blow.
Squealy lashes out with his maw at the creature meanders past. Scraping his teeth across the creatures rough exterior, he manages to chip part of it.
Poog
Reta
Chuffy
Mogmurch
Effigy
Chuffy gives the machine a wide berth before closing in on it's back side. "Now Fat-Head, NOW!" Chuffy screams with delight as he readies to sink his blade into the effigy's back.
________
Reta looks confused at Chuffy's command. "RETA DO OKAY FROM RIGHT HERE, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!" She knocks and fires two more arrows in quick succession. Trailers of flame arc through the air towards the monstrosity.
Mogmurch hurls another bomb at the hideous invader.
"Death to you, fearsome invader! This is our land! Country tis of thee! My land! Sweet land of me!"
Squeely Nord steps forward and continues it's attack on the opponent.
Stepping backwards, Poog mumbles to himself and rubs his hands together. Suddenly a gout of flame shoots forward.
While the boar bites the effigy hard, it does little more than scratch the paint as Poog shoots his flaming hands of Zarongel at the beast...melting parts of it.
Reta's arrows again bounce off, scorching the entity as Chuffy scratches at it as well.
The Lord Emperor begins to sing a battle song, warning the beast away, as he lobs another of his concoctions. Exploding, it engulfs the beast and melts away even more parts of it!
Pinwheels of fire begin erupting for the effigy and shoot forward, striking Poog in the face. The creature then surges forward...but Poog stands his ground.
Squeely Nord lashes out with his teeth...but again must scrapes it.
Poog
Reta
Chuffy
Mogmurch
Effigy
Mogmurch steps forward 5 and hurls another bomb.
Before anyone else can react to the failed trampling of Poog, Mogmurch leaps forward and earns his lordship with finesse!
The Lord Emperor hurls yet another bomb, but this one finds a kind in the creatures haphazard design and lands within the beast. Exploding on impact, bits of the creature fly around the clearing landing scattered in pieces. *BAbabaBOOOM*
A few minutes pass in silence as slowly...cautiously...your fellow tribe goblins slink out of their hiding places. Looking around, slowly...one moves up to a larger part of the effigies remains and pokes it with a stick...suddenly....
as the tribe errupts in unison, cheering and applauding the almighty chief goblins.
They quickly band together and clean up the mess. The feast is remade and food is had by all...once the chief's approve of the meal of course.
The Lord Emperer is most pleased with their regal victory over the hated effigy, and he declares that this day shall, henceforth and ever after, be known as "Goblin Day" to commemorate their great victory.
"Tonight, we feasties! Tomorrow, Absalom!"
You are goblins of the Licktoad Tribe. Or at least you will be someday. For now, though, you’re whelps—ravenous, amoral, grumpy goblin children who learned to stop eating rocks only a few months ago. But with every day that passes, your whelping cage seems smaller and smaller. The outside world increasingly beckons to your goblin curiosity (and appetite), but the hateful cage bars holds you at bay.
A few other whelps flourish in the cage, even as the smaller and weaker ones are thinned out. Kettlehead stands literally head and shoulders above the competition, being a goblin of impeccable flatulence and having already fashioned himself an impressive hat from a teapot left lying too close to the cages. Even adult goblins—legendary Chief Rendwattle Gutwad among them—have taken note of Kettlehead and his advanced skills of poking the rest of you with sticks and delivering bruise-inducing noogies. But today is special. Today, instead of a bucket of fish heads, whelp-wrangler Loptop brought a key and unlocked the door to your cage, spilling you sorry lot into the world for the first time.
Other Licktoads gather around, eyeballing you and chewing on the fish heads that should have been yours. “You all are too big for cages,” Loptop snorts. “But you’re not Licktoads yet. Licktoads gotta be useful. Licktoads gotta be tough! Licktoads gotta earn their places in the tribe. And that’s what you’re gonna do now! Show us where you belong, even if that ends being the boneyard!”
Loptop reminds you of what's to come. "You all do challenges to earn place in tribe. Prove you useful! You can refuse challenge." Pausing, he eyes each of you wearily...it's apparent this idea disgusts him. "But you succeed challenge, you earn badge!" he calls out, holding up a peculiar item crudely shaped to some semblance of a 'Licktoad'. "There be four challenge. You ready self...first one begin shortly!"
He quickly lines you up, and several other goblins. He notable ignores Kettlehead...with his obvious superiority over you lot, Kettlehead need not participate in such childish endeavors. Kettlehead already better than you!
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Reta eyes her competition with disdain. "RETA TOUGHEST LICKTOAD, AND RETA SHOW YOU NOW! RETA DO ALL CHALLENGES, AND RETA WIN ALL!!!" Her eyes settle on Kettlehead, though, and she spews verbal venom all over him. "RETA MUCH TOUGHER THAN STUPID KETTLEHEAD. KETTLEHEAD SO TOUGH, KETTLEHEAD COME DO CHALLENGES TOO!"
Poog laughs at the squeeking whelp next to him, "you funny reeter! Think you tuffest, hahahahahaha!"
He pulls out his teething symbol of Zarongel, "Zarongel say me bestest goblin and WIN ALL CHALLENGES AND RIDE ALL DOGS AND SHOW YOU ALL WHO BEST!" However, his anxiety is obviously showing as he gnaws on the symbol to sooth himself.
Chuffy's beady eyes silently size up the competition. Why Chuffy feel much hate? Want to push stick into other gobby's skin and see what happens... That make Chuffy happy again... An errant eye twitch brings his thoughts back to the task at hand.
Let other gobbys think good, then Chuffy beat them at last minute and stick, stick, stick! In preparation, Chuffy grabs the sharpest rock he can find and stuffs it into his rags, next to the small sticks he has manage to collect and form into darts. "Ready," he says, his voice barely audible.
Mogmurch stares disdainfully around at the other whelps. It is clear that he is destined for greatness. And they are not. Eyeing Chief Gutwad, Mogmurch senses that this moldering old fool will not last long in a cruel world, and that he must be ready to take his place when the time comes. Glaring at Kettlehead, he plans his inevitable demise with a range of glorious tactics. Finally, his eye falls upon his whelpmates. "Hmph! These boogerbrains our competition? Fine, we show them the meaning o' leedersheep! Where these contests - unless the rest of youse ready to accept our inevitable triumf now?"
Eyeing the young welps with minimal amusement, Loptop leads you towards a large arena containing an open field full of large spiders. "Yous all must prove able to master dangerous creatures." he explains, gesturing towards the spiders. "Someday maybe you face dogs...but today you just face spiders."
Holding up several leather leashes, he adds "You prove self by putting leash on spiders!"
A cheer erupts as he finishes his explanation...suddenly, you realize the entire tribe has shown up to watch your coming of age attempts.
With a sly smile as you climb into the ring, Loptop giggles "Oh...and they bites."
PCs
Spiders
As Loppy-Toppy explains about the challenge and how it's totally about riding the spiders to victory, his mind envisions easily mastering this challenge and riding around camp upon his spidery steed to the cheers of the entire tribe. Snapping out of it, he grabs a leash, yells, "YEE-HAW!!!" and darts forward towards the nearest spider.
Knowing that to mount such a magnificent beast, he must first grasp it and tie on his reins, he grabs at the many many many legged critter.
Reta quickly checks her pockets... she knew she had one in there. She pulls out a small handful of insects and begins sifting through them. Mostly wood lice... wood lice... there! The spider! Missing a few legs, but who cares; she opens her mouth wide and quickly consumes the dusty, dead arachnid. "NOW RETA HAVE POWER OF SPIDER QUEEN! COME TO ME!!!"
She darts out into the field and selects her foe (the one closest to her after she runs out of momentum). She attempts to leap on its back and fasten the leash.
"NOW YOU MINE!!!"
She gazes out over her dominion from the back of her spider mount, as if to ask "what next?"
Mogmurch knows that he is destined for greatness and reaches out for a pitiful spider without hesitation, certain that nothing can possibly go rong.
Chuffy waits for his moment to strike. As the spiders hesitate when Reta dominates her spider, Chuffy manages to snatch at the spider well enough to keep it in place, but struggles to tie enough of a knot to leash it! Spider make Chuffy so mad!
________
Poog rushes forward and reaches out with his leash....but his overeagerness causes him to misjudge the distance and he runs square into the spiders face! The beast responds by sinking a fang into his shoulder...green ooze leaks out of the wound.
Little Head Reta rushes to show Poog how one rides this creature and leaps aboard with ease, lashing the "reins" in place. As she hoots and howls, Loptop smacks his head and calls out "NO! No need ride! Need leash 3 to win!"
Cheers and laughter ring out from the crowd.
Mogmurch saunters forward and reaches out...petting a spider. Surprised by the sudden touch, the creatures mandibles clamp down on his hand...more of the grew fluid pumps into the young welp.
Wipping around as the leash is flung over it, the spider lashes out for Chuffie's face. Alas the goblin is much to quick and just narrowly dodges the pointed fangs!
The crow murmurs as other welps fail in similar fashion, "Maybe Reta only welp worth be goblin...maybe others not worth time...go back to cages..."
Poog
Reta
Mogmurch
Chuffy
Spiders
Poog looks briefly shamed as Rita hops onto the spider easily, his ear tips going slightly greener. But when she is mocked he giggles, dat was close, dey almost laughed at me, hehe!
”Yeah tiny head, you no ride! Haha!”
His mockery made him forget about the spider for a bit and then a sharp pain in his arm brings him back.
He looks at the spider and giggles again, ”dat no hurt little critter, come here and lemme hug you!”
Wrapping his arm around the spiders body, he deftly tries to tie off the saddle er.... leash.
"WHY YOU NO SAY THREE AT START? RETA BE FASTER IF SHE KNOW GOAL!!!" Meaning to prove her words, she quickly guides her spider near another, and leaps off, grabbing some of the new spider's legs.
Unfortunately, in her haste, she fails to get the lasso affixed!
As the spider lunges for some Chuffy meat, the little goblin tumbles out of the way and along side the spider. Looping the leash around the spider, he barely makes it aboard. Although he remains silent, he is clearly beaming with pride. Spider will bend to Chuffy!
________
Gently wiping the viscous fluid away, Poog giggles at the spiders affections. Reaching out, he hugs the beast and secures the leash to it.
Riding her new mount across the field, Reta leaps off the eight-legged beast and grabs hold of another one. Rushing to prove herself though, she fails to get a secure knot tied in time. Quickly turning about, the creature clamps down on her right ear!
Certain the future holds high aspirations for him, Mogmurch snatches the spider with renewed vigor. Surprising himself that he actually succeeded...he forgets to tie a knot... Another mouth full of fangs greats him with the pointy ends...
Chuffy recognizes the potential dangers here and quickly ties his leash about the foe. Leaping out of the way of the sharp bits, he beams with pride atop the spider!
The crowd seemingly watching with baited breath as the welps continue their attempts, yelp in excitment. "Only Moggy unable to do any. Mayhaps some gobbies join? Mayhaps ony widdle moggy not good 'nough to be gobby..."
A few giggle as Reta rides across the field and fails to tie her leash. "Stooopid welp! Haffta tie it to work!"
Poog
Reta
Mogmurch
Chuffy
Spiders
Erupting in a cheer, Poog drags his leashed spider over towards another one. "POOG BLESSED GOBLIN AND SHOW YOU ALL HE BEST!"
Triumphantly grappling the next 1, 2... there more than 2? nope 2 is definitely biggest number ...2-legged critter, the mighty goblin Poog tries to sling a leash around its neck as well.
"NOT NICE! NO BITEY, MEAN SPIDEY!!!"
Reta does her best to secure the knot that she didn't get tied quickly enough before.
Having worked the last time, Chuffy waits until the perfect time to strike. Like a snake in the grass, he lies in wait... waiting... waiting... NOW! The little goblin snatches at the spider, but he underestimated the erratic movements of the spider's legs and grabs nothing but air!
________
Mogmurch...or something resembling his essence, easily shrugs off the poison of the spiders bite.
However, he finds his arms just can't quite make it all the way around to tie the rope together...
While Chuffy somehow flaceplants in the muck, everyone else manages to hold on to their perspective beasties. However, each of them receive a nasty bite for their efforts.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!" rings out from your onlookers. "Stoopid welplings! No kin do dat way! HE HE HEEEEEE HA"
Poog
Reta
Mogmurch
Chuffy
Spiders
Goblins up
As the mandibles close on his arm, Poog jerks it back with a screech, "OUCH!" He goes to kick the idiot bug and then remembers he is gonna show
With the little bugger securely secured, he quickly wraps the leash around...
...its neck, success! He grins at dumb other whelps, I'mma gonna win!!!
"OWOWOWOWOWWOWOWOWOW!" Chuffy wails as he jerks away from the spider that bite him. Fortunately, his pain-fueled burst of strength knocks him into another spider that he manages to latch onto!
________
Poog and Reta manage to wrangle their spiders in quick succession. Loud cheers erupt from the surrounding tribesmen. Musings reach your ears debating between super Poog and big Reta winning the trial.
Meanwhile, Mogmurch and Chuffy continue to have their attempts thwarted. Both hold hard onto spiders...but alas they fail to tie their knots.
A spider bites Chuffy's arm but Mogmurch manages to pull away at just the right time.
Poog
Reta
Mogmurch
Chuffy
Spiders
Chuffy's vision flickers as more poison is pumped into his tiny body. Fortunately, the proximity of the spider's fangs means it's head is much closer and the goblin manages to tie the leash around it's neck! "Chuffy not feel so good..." he grumbles as he staggers over to another spider.
________