Mogmurch glares at his underlings, furious that they are showing him up. Off with their heads, off I say!
He expresses his anger with a furious throw at another dog.
However, in his fury, he nearly drops the firework into his own bag!
With another firework fizzling out harmlessly and the jeers that follow, Poog is about ready to set the whole place alight. "Poog be chosen of Zarongel!" He screams as he pulls out his wand of fireballs and holds it aloft, "If yous wants fire, Poog use power of bestest god, not stupid, BROKEN, firesticks!" His eyes narrow and he points his wand at Rotmouth and the worst of the hecklers, but decides at the last moment to try one more time before blowing everyone up. "Trimple Rotmouth! If you really be devout of Zarongel, and my loyalist pawn- err, acolyte... GIVE POOG BEST FIREWORKS!" He snatches the star candle firework and aims at the biggest target, Pa Munchmeat, just to be sure.
Reta and Chuffy truly shining now fire their flames towards the straw effigies and two more dogs burst into flames! Cheers errupt from the crowd as the final canines turn to ash. "CHUFFY! RETA! TRUE DOG HATERS!"
Mogmurch, nearly dropping the ember stick as his thoughts stray glares at the tribe. Though several open their mouths...none speak. None quite brave enough to test his patience...
Poof chastising his acolyte nearly decimates the poor goblin. Though his candlestick flies true and collides with the oversized Pa Munchmeat, the flames begin to burn more slowly than with the dogs. "See?! SEE!" calls out Trimple. "Chiefly Poog hits too with fires. Chiefly Poog just want to give other chiefies chance, right?"
Reta
Chuffy
Mogmurch
Poog
6 Dogs
3 Horses
Pa Munchmeat
Reta begins a dance of celebration. "RETA BEST, RETA KILL THE DOGS, RETA QUEEN!!!" She continues to dance in victory until she finally notices that nobody else is celebrating with her.
Slowing down, she lets her eyes follow the others gaze toward the remaining effigies that still stand. "YOU MEAN IT MORE THAN JUST THE DOGS?!? FINE!!!"
She spits as she yells, and lines up another firework, this time targetting one of the horses.
She seems less enthused, clearly disappointed that there are no more dogs to attack.
"SHOOT PAAAAA!" Chuffy screams, continuing to froth at the excitement of winning. CHUFFY THE BEST! CHUFFY THE BEST!
With a wild, improvised flourish, he twirls the wand and spins his body three times before launching his firework at the biggest bundle of straw.
________
The Lord Emperer is not happy, the Lord Emperer is most not happy, the Lord Emperer is not 'mused!
Mogmurch considers simply throwing a bomb at the entire collection of horses but he remembers he may need all his bombs later if he decides to cleanse the tribe of all the goblins who are unworthy of his rule, so he simply throws another furious firework, this time at the effigy of Pa, as if to recall his former glory.
Poog listens to Rotmouth's words and realises that he had been taking it easy on his fellow chiefs... Well, it's the only explanation that makes any sense to his twisted, simple mind. The weird little cleric smiles and places a hand on his acolyte's shoulder, "Poog trained Rotmouth well, yous be right. Yous pass secret test!" He then takes the last firework, holds it aloft, and addresses the crowd. "Witness the benny-violence of chief Poog, chosen of Zarongel! He make lesser chiefs look good, even though he loads better at fire." He lights the wick and aims for a horse this time.
Reta tries to refocus on the horse, but alas...its not dog and her shot flies high. "Reta Horse Lover!" rings out as they jeer her efforts.
Cheers erupt, fueled by the flourish of moves for Chuffy as he singes the large Pa Munchmeat effigy. Plotting the tribes demise, Mogmurch in turn burns some of the large straw ogre.
As if the horse heard his words, it explodes in a firey mass as the sparkling light connects! "POOG BESTES HORSE 'SPLODER!"
Reta (4 pt)
Chuffy (7 pt)
Mogmurch (4 pt)
Poog (2pt)
The competition finished, all the fireworks winking out simultaneously, Rotmouth cautiously approaches Chuffy. Making sure to avoid eye contact with Chief Mogmurch, he holds out a vial. "This supper duper hidin juice! Congrats Sub-Chiefly Chuffy."
(Link) Elixir of Hiding
As the cheering dies down another underling approaches the stage excitedly. Holding up four heavy bags, he rushes forward and shoves a bag into each of your hands. You notice he seems to be missing a couple of fingers...
"I Dillbi Tenthumbs saves day! Theys forgetts ta save gull fer KILLGULLS GAME!!!! I catched bird so wes can still play! When yous is ready, we's play!!!" shrieks the goblin, rushing over to a cage containing a greased up vulture.
You have all been given a sack of 'good throwing rocks'. The goal is to kill the bird.
Twine is tied to its leg, which Dillbi Tenthumbs will hold onto. At the start of each round, he will try to wiggle the twine to make the bird harder to hit.
As long as he holds the twine, you are 30feet away from the bird. You can not throw more than 1 rock per round.
Once you signal your readiness, the goblin yanks open the cage and the bird darts for the sky! Quickly, he snags the twine and holds fast.
Dillbi Tenthumbs/Vulture (+2 AC)
Chuffy
Mogmurch
Reta
Poog
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Chuffy graciously accepts the supper duper hidin juice and obnoxiously lords it over his fellow chiefs with a chant. "Winning Team!" he starts, pointing to himself. "Losing Team!" he continues, pointing to each of the others. "Winning Team, Losing Team, Winning Team, Losing Team HOOORAY!"
Thankfully, his tasteless victory chant is cut short by another target and a sack full of sharp rocks. Like a bat out of hell he dives into the sack, mouth and fists full of rocks and is about to begin slinging them at the vulture.
he begins to scream but starts to choke on some of the rocks he foolishly held in his mouth, heaving his latest meal into the sack.
________
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Emperer Mogmurch is pleased to see Sub-chieftain Chuffy finally achieving some renown. Knowing that all of his underlings' achievements are simply reflected glory upon his leadership, he beams with satisfaction at his victory and indulgently smiles at Chuffy's belief that he has accomplished something for himself.
Now I will show them what a true champion does!.
Mogmurch is tempted to aim the stone at the head of Dillbi, but decides that killing a vulture will be 'musing too.
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Reta's sees the burlap sack, and jumps in, ready for her sack race. "OWWWWWWWW!!!!" she yells, stubbing her toe on the rocks in the bottem, then thinks to herself what a sneaky handicap that was, and how much more fun that would make the sack race. She surreptitiously leans down and grabs a rock, keeping it below the level of the sack, before seeing that nobody else is in a sack, and all are holding their rocks out wide in the open. Confused, she decides to pay attention to Dillbi and learn what the game is really about.
Not wanting to appear stupid, she commits to her error, staying in the sack and throwing while standing on the rocks inside.
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Poog's just about to reach into his sack for a good throwing rock, when he sees Reta jump right in. Reta be smart, 'sperienced fighter! Much quicker to find stones when in sack!!! He promptly dives in himself, trying to get every advantage he can and not wanting to lose yet another game. With stone in hand, he signals his readiness by singing his favourite killgulls game song. "We's will, we's will, ROCK you!"
Just as he goes to release the first rock, Chuffy starts choking on his mouthful. The rock soars the wrong direction and almost hits Mogmurch!
Though pleased his underling had make him look good in the last challenge, Chuffy isn't looking too hot here. Seems Mogmurch may have to do this one himself.... Taking aim, the chief lobs the rock towards the tethered bird and smacks it forcefully in the side.
Realizing her mistake, though committed now, Reta focuses on the bird. Rearing back, she chucks a rock forward...but just as she releases the ones beneath her feet shift and her pebble soars low...just missing the creatures taloned feet.
And "Rock You" Poog does! the stone flies true, connecting hard with the beaked face of the bird. "BRAwwwCK! BawBAWK!" it shrieks in response, as the tribe picks up the catchy tune. "WES WILL, weeeeees willllllll ROCK YOU!"
With an amused smile, Tenthumbs can't help but sing along as he yanks on the twin once more.
Dillbi Tenthumbs/Vulture
Chuffy
Mogmurch
Reta
Poog
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Mogmurch senses that his well deserved victory is within his grasp.
However his thrown rock limply wobbles through the air, barely worthy of the term "pebble."
Enraged, Mogmurch also leaps into the sack of rocks, declaring that "Reta and Poog not only ones who use Bag of Bolding! Mogmurch knows secrets of bag too! Watch, I show you!" With that, Mogmurch pulls the bag over his head and begins to work on tying it shut from the inside.
Still heaving from his near death experience, Chuffy tries to squint real hard to focus his bleary eyes. He winds up and launches at one of the two birds in his vision, hoping to strike feather instead of dirt. Dramatically, he collapses. "Why... Why rock try to kill Chuffy? What.. Chuffy do... to rock?"
________
Determined to not show any weakness with her choice, Reta tries to stabilize her footing as she reaches back into the bottom of her sack to grab another rock.
She then stands tall and takes careful aim, trying to throw the rock with precision, and paying special attention to the balance of her stance.
Buoyed by his previous success and by the crowd joining in with his song, Poog ducks down into his sack and picks out a sharp stone in record time - it seems that copying Reta's ingenious tactics is already paying off. "Yous got blood on yous face, yous big birdface, hurling these stones all over the place!" He continues singing, as he pops his head back out the sack with the biggest evil he's had for days, and chucks the stone with all his might.
Unfortunately for Chuffy, he chose the wrong bird...throwing the stone about ten feet to the right of his intended target. Though Mogmurch's rock throwing skills leave much to be desired, he hears hushes whispers about his "Super wise chiefly" skills from beneath the sack.
Big Reta maintains her footing quite well this time...alas she completely over compensates and her rock bounces off the ceiling...some 30 feet above the bird.
Just as Poog releases the stone, he hears the tribe parrot ]bigger]"ALL OVER YOUS FACE!"[/BIGGER] and the stone slams into the creature....which drops like a stone it's self...lieing limp on the cavern floor. The crowd erupts in a deafening roar of excitement
Dropping the twine in his hand, Tenthumbs gallantly trots up to Poog and bows. When he straights up, he holds out a special looking stone. "Here yous is winner!"
(Link) Steadfast Gut Stone
This fist sized chunk of off-white stone seems too large to fit inside a human’s mouth, but may be swallowed with ease as a standard action. Once ingested, the gut-stone remains active for up to a week, maneuvering itself within the body to protect its bearer’s vital organs. Any time an attack would subject the bearer to precision-based damage (such as a critical hit or sneak attack), that damage is instead directed to the gut-stone. All other damage from the triggering attack, as well as damage that surpasses the gut-stone’s hit points, is applied to the character normally. A gut-stone has 10 hit points and hardness 0.
As the noise dies down another goblin approaches and begins explaining about a rather complicated puzzle game she's concocted for your amusement. It involves bagas of wasps, boxes of nettles, and jars of nails. As she tries to explain it a third time...seems you keep getting stuck on the part of the wasps stinging you a loud sickening *SQueEEEEEELL* interrupts her.
Seconds later you spy Squealy Nord as he bursts through the group of goblins into the clearing. Bounding up to Poog he's beat up, bruised, and covered in minor lacerations! The poor, poor companions has certainly seen better days!
He bows low before you and begins pawing the ground with his trotters. "What is it Lassie? Errr...Squealy?!
He's trying to tell you something!
"Maybe some goblin lads fell in a well!?! That be hilarious! Let's go watch them try to climb out! Squealy, show us the way!"
"Wes still has bags of stones!" Poog says excitedly, latching onto the idea of goblins stuck in a well, "Wes can drop them in well and listen to screams..." Before he becomes to overwhelmed by the excitement, and the lucky escape from wasps, the cleric takes a deep breath, holds his hands up, and shouts. "Okay yous all be quiet now! Poog know what to do." He clears his throat, and looks at his poor beaten pet and looses a awful of his own.
"YAAAAAAY! Chuffy love throw rocks down well!" he sings as he dances in a circle while Poogy squeals at Nord. Slowly, Chuffy stops dancing and looks hard at Squealy Nord. "Why piggy have stabbies, bumps, and boo-boos? WHO HURTING SQUEALLY NORD?!" he rages at the sky, before drawing his dogslicer and glaring at the tribe.
Squeely Nord chatters rapidly, as if trying to get it all out before he forgets it. "We.we.we.we was on truff hunt. Squeely like truff hunts! We was in bestes Truff Field for special Truffs for eat!"
"While hunt Truffs, bad, meannies sees us sneaking...FILTHY LONGSHANKS! They attacks. Only Squealy barely gets away."
"" Poog shrieks in rage, pulling out his own sword and waving it at the sky along with Chuffy, "Theys steal bestest truff field and attack Lickt- Birdcruncher mascot... Poog demand REVENGE! Wes kill all now, burn down village, burn down Absalom, burn every filthy longshank wes see!"
Chuffy screams, adding his shrill, toneless voice to the chorus.
Now Chuffy know what to stab stab stab for Squealy Nord... "Looongshaaanks..." he whispers darkly under his breath.
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Reta yells just to join in the yelling. She looks eager. "RETA KILL THE LONGSHANKS; RETA KILL THE LONGSHANKS; RETA KILL THE LONGSHANKS!"
She seems ready to go.
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Mogmurch rubs his hands together and smiles an evil smile. "At last, my minions, now is the hour of our content, now shall we let slip the hogs of war, for let us now into the breech, and be darned he who first cries hold, 'nuff!" He looks a bit puzzled when these words leave his mouth but quickly recovers. "Onward, my hordes! First these dirty longshanks! Then, Absalom itself! We gunna eat all the pickles we wants!"
Without a second to lose, you head out. Its relatively easy to follow the path set by Squeely Nord and you quietly sneak through the woods as you get closer.
Two wagons, their wooden panels exquisitely carved and vibrantly painted, sit in this forest clearing. The first noticeable thing in the small dell is a burning campfire and three goblin heads stuck on narrow poles. Logs for sitting and gear for cooking surround the campfire, and the smell of a greasy stew floats on the gentle summer breeze.
As you approach, they don't seem to notice you.
"Chuffy Sub-Chief of Sneaks, Chuffy knows bests! Sneaky sneak from downwind, then we stick them!"
________
"THIS NOT..." Reta quickly lowers her voice when she hears it ringing out. Oooooh, so loud. How speak softer again? Reta always forget.
"This not Absalom, silly. This just a camp. Or maybe stories of Absalom be exaggamalated?"
Poog nods vigorously when Chuffy states the plan. He may not agree with much his fellow Sub-Chief says, but even Poog knows the exceptionally sadistic goblin is better at this sort of thing than anyone else in camp. "Dibs of the dogses!" He whispers, hands starting to glow slightly with the heat of the spell soon to be cast.
Leaping out of the woods, near the spiked goblin heads, you take everyone by surprise. They all stop their meal preparations and turn to look at you...
===================
Queen Fathead
The Chuffster
Lord Emperor Mogmurch
Poog
Longshanks
Queen Fathead
The Chuffster
Lord Emperor Mogmurch
Poog
Animals
"For the glory of the Empire! Longshankses, prepare to die! Now you fry! Your mamas cry! And we eat your pie!"
Mogmurch steps forward 5' and lets loose with a bomb directed at the grey longshanks directly ahead of him.
Chuffy screeches as leaps out from the darkness and latches onto the dog nearby, sinking his dogslicer deep into it's gut. "STICK STICK STICK! MUWAHAHAHA!"
________
"RETA NOT NEED BE QUIET ANYMORE!!!!" She draws up her shortbow and lines one of the dogs up in her sights. She lets an arrow fly. "LONGSHANKS PAY FOR KILLING WEAK GOBLINS THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO KILL YOU INSTEAD!!!"
"FOR SQUEEEEEALY!!!" Poog screeches as he runs into the clear, waving his hands in the air like a madman, "HERE COME THE BOOM!" He finishes off his wavy gestures and claps his hands together, setting off an almighty blast of sound between several of tbe nasty longshanks and there hated pets.
Reta sidesteps to get a better view at her hated foe and launches a pointed arrow at the beast. With a solid *ShhhTHUNK* it skewers the dogs left eye.
Surging forward, Chuffy catches the opponent off guard. Turning towards the sounds of the impending doom, it brings its neck to bear...allowing Sub Chief of Stabby Sneaks to slice its head clean off!
Winding up, Lord Emperor Mogmurch chucks a vial at the closest longshank. A deafening explosion rings out as it connects in a firey blast. Though the man remains standing, his clothes burn fervently. His nearby companion manages to leave away from the licking flames just in time to avoid the worst of it.
Seaking redemption for Squeelie Nords mistreatment, Poog summons up a rather painful tune amongst the foes. The dog with the red fur and the man wearing the gray ascot topple over. The man in the green shirt slaps his hands over his ears in pain.
With such an opening volley the two remaining unharmed rush towards the wagon, drawing bows as they run. Once behind cover, the longshank with the orange hat fires an arrow into the trees.
Longshanks
Queen Fathead
The Chuffster
Lord Emperor Mogmurch
Poog
Animals
Reta continues firing arrow, launching two more in rapid succession.
Seeing all the foes within reach fall to Fat Head's arrows, Chuffy sprints for the fire and draws a log from the stack. Waving it over head, he begins to scream, "Chuffy burn you before eat you, HAHAHAHAHA! Chuffy want to know what noise you make when skin melt!"
________
Poog cackles as the dogs and longshanks all start falling to the mighty chiefs of the Birdcrunchers, he's particularly pleased that one of them was caught alight by Mogmurch. "HAHAHA! IT BE THE WILL OF ZARONGEL... BURNS THEM ALL!!!" He shrieks cheerfully as he rushes up beside Chuffy, "Poog want to know too, Poog watch as Chuffy burn. Squeally Nord follows his favourite goblin towards the remaining humans.
____
Mogmurch moves forward 30 feet and hurls another bomb, this time right into the midst of the horses.
Reta fires an arrow at the dog with black fur, dropping it. Relishing in her victory, she turns and fires another arrow at the drooling longshank. The arrow buries itself in his flesh...though he stays standing.
Chuffy rushes forward and ...
Taking aim at the clustered horses, Mogmurch launches another vial into their midst. The horse wearing the cyan saddle explodes and meaty bits scatter about the campsite!
The smell of roasted flesh on the winds excites Poog as he rushes forward, rooting his companions on.
The horses break free of their bindings and while two of them charge off into the woods...one remains. The remaining horse sets its sights on the Lord Emperor, snorts twice while pawing at the ground and charges the goblin. The small creature, expecting this reaction, easily side steps as the beast bears down on him.
A clattering noise can be heard from behind the wagon as the two remaining longshanks appear from behind it again, swords in hand.
Each finding themselves next to Poog, one slices at the goblin.
His trembling hands seem unsteady as he sees the mayhem with renewed gore. the man is so shocked at the sight of the horse bits, he nearly slices his own hand off.
Longshanks
Queen Fathead
The Chuffster
Lord Emperor Mogmurch
Poog
Animals
Mogmurch revels in the scent of destruction all around him. "Yes, yes, YESSSSS!"
In his glee, he swings a club wildly at the Green horse in front of him, before stepping back to give Reta a better shot at it.
"Hey, fat-head! Don't hit me!"
"HAHAHA! Longshank no know how to use sword!" Poog, overcome with joy at the sight of exploding horse and burning longshank draws his own shortsword and starts poking at blue. "Longshank need use pointy end like this, haha! This more fun than Poog have in long time!"
Meanwhile, Squealy Nord instinctively bites back at the one who attacked his Poog.
____
"Stick, stick, stick!" Chuffy yells as he throttles the nearly incapacitated man.
He then picks up the flaming piece of wood and, with frothy glee, leaps upon the one attacking Poog.
________
As foes continue to drop, Reta is starting to feel the sense of victory rise up, but suddenly realizes that she's somehow found herself on the outskirts of the skirmish, completely safe from any of the dangers of melee combat.
Now that just won't do! Other chiefs will just talk and talk and talk about it forever and ever!
She drops her bow where she stands and immediately rushes forward to make sure that she gets at least one swing of a sword in before the end of this.
Dropping her bow, Reta rushes into the fray and slices a large gash across the poor soul that dared to cross her!
Chuffy, fresh of the victory of the previous longshank, snags a burning log and tries to end the wretched life of the man in orange. Alas, just just manages to twist away at the last second.
Swinging wildly as he makes room for Big Head to fire, Mogmurch manages a glancing blow across the beasts snout. Screaming it protest...it seems to only be made angrier.
Squealing with glee at the blue ascot's misfortune, Poog shows him how to properly stab...thrusting the dagger deep into the man's neck. Following suit, Nord instinctively bites the mans fingers...several loud *CRUNCH* sounds ring out as his mangled hand pulls free.
Pressing the advantage, the horse rears up and stops on the Lord Emperor in retaliation for his actions.
The bloodied orange shirted man steps away from the painful jabs of Reta and Chuffy. Bringing his own sword to bear, he tries to show Poog a thing or two. The fiesty priest turns sideways allowing the blade to scrape across his armor; quickly twisting out of the way of his previous foes as well. Blue ascot may be a quick study...but not as quick as Poog!
Longshanks
Queen Fathead
The Chuffster
Lord Emperor Mogmurch
Poog
Animals
Mogmurch the Great revels in the thrill of battle and smashes his club at the horrific horse monster.