Reta advances on the man in the blue ascot, circling around Squealy Nord to have a better approach. "UGLY LONGSHANKS GONNA DIE!!! UGLY LONGSHANKS GONNA DIE!!!"
"Chuffy burn your corpses, Chuffy burn your corpses!" the sadistic goblin sings as he skirts around the fire and behind one of the humans accosting Poogy. Unfortunately the weight of his burny stick throws him off balance and his stab glances off of his armor.
________
"Then Poog gonna eat yous toes, Poog gonna eat yous toes!" Poog sings along with his fellow sub-chiefs with his own tune, revelling in his new found martial prowess.
Even Squealy Nord joins in, living up to his name with loud squeals and snorts as he continues to munch on those who would try to hurt his Poog.
Reta moves around and slices the mans arm off. Disarmed...blood splurting from the wound... the wide-eyed man mumbles incoherently as he collapses.
As Chuffy's attack glances off the mans armor, the great and powerful Mogmurch bops the horse in the nose again. The snout begins to engorge as blood rushes to the injury site.
Poog capitalizes on Chuffy's distraction and thrusts his blade through the armor's seam.
Nord attempts to finish the man off, but finds himself chewing an a particularly tasty bit of armor instead.
The horse rears up again, aiming to end the annoying goblin as it stamps down. However, it continues to find it difficult to pin down the squirmy creature, beating the dirt around him.
Was it the disarming of his companion? The utter destruction of his friends and pets? Or simply the realization he's outmatched? Regardless of the reasons, the remaining longshank tries to get the freak out of here!
Longshanks
Queen Fathead
The Chuffster
Lord Emperor Mogmurch
Poog
Animals
"Where you goes, we wants yous toes!" Poog yells cheerily and slashes at the man's achilles tendon as he tries to flee. Squealy Nord also pounces at the opportunity, hoping for something softer this time than the tasty bit of armour he just tore free.
He then rushes over to the other side of the camp, where he gets a better view of the epic battle between Mogmurch and the vile horse monster. "HAAAAHAHAHA! WE BE FEASTING ON HORSE TONIGHT... HIT IT AGAIN, HIT IT AGAIN!!!" His fingers fired up, the happy goblin points and shoots, adding a little pyrotechnics to the festivities.
Mogmurch is determined to show the others that he is not just a political lordling, content to lounge on a throne and let others do his dirty work for him, and he bashes the hideous horse monster again, eager to splatter its brains hither and thither.
"Die, horse monster, die!!!"
... however, Mogmurch's muscles have atrophied after long hours spent considering matters of statecraft, and his blow is barely a love tap. He glances over his shoulder, hoping the others haven't noticed.
"Chuffy cave chiefy from horse monster!" the goblins squeals as he runs over to the next battle with his arms flailing in the air, fire stick coming dangerously close to his head.
"STICK STICK STICK IN THE SOFTIES!" he cries with delight as he tries to sink his blade into the horse's stomach.
________
With her side of the camp bloodied and unconscious--or dying--or dead--her eyes dart across the scene to try to find something else to do! She sees the man fleeing, and immediately exclaims. "NO NO NO!!! NOT TODAY!!! LONGSHANKS NOT RUN AWAY!"
Kicking herself into a quick sprint, Reta charges past the fire and right through Poog and Squealy Nord, bearing down on the man as she attempts to take him down to the ground!
Poog capitalizes on the opportunity presented and thrusts his blade through the longshanks thigh. Blood sprays out, as Nord gnashes at the air nearby. The man takes one step, the blade pulling back out and goes stark white...collapsing at Poogs feet.
Leaping over the meager benches in the way, Reta rushes the large horse and tries to grab it.
The Lord Emporer bops the beast on the nose again! The ever swelling snout continues to turn an ever deeper plum.
Rushing to help, Chuffy steps under the beast and slices it from stem to stern! Entrails rain down on the small creature beneath the beast as it rears back again.
Mid-stomp, the four-legged rage monger topples backwards. Dead.
Gear Located: 4 alchemist’s fire; 4 studded leather,
4 mwk short sword, 4 shortbow with 73 arrows, 4 flint and steel,
4 set of thieves’ tools, 4 pair of gold hoop earrings (worth 5 gp
each), 16 gp
Near the fire, you also locate Slipwhittle’s toe scratcher and an empty truffle bag.
4 adamantine arrows, a tin box filled with various bits of jewelry (worth 140g total), a well-preserved ham, three jugs of mead (worth 2g each), a wooden box filled with 1 pound of cloves (worth 15g), a brass prosthetic foot (worth 2g), and a string with a single bead on it.
It's a lesser strand of prayer beads with only a single 'Bead of Blessing' on it.
Allows the wearer to cast Bless once per day
"YEEEEEESSSSS!" Chuffy screams in bloody euphoria as the horse's innards collapse upon him. "Now we get truffles!" he says, turning to Poog. "Make Squealy take us to truffles!"
________
"TRUFFLES!!!!" screams the warrior-bride. But, she takes the time to loot the bodies of the longshanks before leaving. She brings the goods that she finds over to the wagon, adding the human's goods to what is in there.
She holds back the alchemist's fire and some of the arrows for herself, including the 4 adamantine arrows from the wagon. She also stakes a hard claim to the earrings that were found, immediately plunging them into the soft flesh and cartilage of her own ears, haphazard and definitely not symmetrical.
While the others prepare to leave, she appears to be trying to figure out how she might walk on a prosthetic foot while she still has her own foot in place.
As you finish up in the longshank's camp, you make your way down the trail; Squealy Nord leading you with his nose to the ground. After a short walk, you find the BESTEST TRUFFLE FIELD clearing!
A huge oak stands on the north edge of a narrow clearing. Its trunk is covered in vines, and its tangled roots provide a healthy bed known to be the source of the best truffles in the area. Fallen trees and a few large rocks are spread out through this wide clearing. A ruined silo slumps not far away.
It's well known among your tribe that this region in the past had to be approached with caution as Horses, dogs, and occasionally other goblins have been known to be in this area. A few truffle-hunting goblins have even been taken down by a bow wielder! In recent months though, it seems safer...no reports of the bow wielder anyway...
As soon as you reach the clearing, Squealy Nord grunts and rushes towards the big tree...HES CAUGHT THE SCENT! Just shy of the towering oak, Reta and the Lord Emperor notice something...
Poog's forlegged friend immediately starts rutting around in the roots beneath the tree.
A gnarled vine, as thick as a man's arm and bearing hand-shaped leaves hangs from the lower limbs. The leaves look different from those on the tree.
The Lord Empererer takes great delight in providing the flank that enables his minion Chuffy to deliver the final killing blow. "Now that," he says to no one in particular, "is called 'eadership!"
Though the horse's blow is such a scratch that he barely notices it, Mogmurch nevertheless deigns to allow Bishop Poog to sooth his wounds - or at least he anoints him as Bishop once he agrees to cure him.
As the unruly band is ready to lurch off in search of truffles, which also set Mogmurch's mouth to watering in a most unimperial way, he reminds them that they have not yet pillaged the longshanks and their filthy caravan. Just as he finishes lecturing Poog and Chuffy about this, they all see Reta returning from the caravan with armfuls of loot and the most beautiful earrings bloodily stuck in her ears. The Lord Emperer gazes at them jealously, mouth agape. Sullenly, he asks Poog is he can identify the bead on the string.
...
Once the group reaches the truffle field Mogmurch's spirits have risen considerably, no doubt at the prospect of fresh truffles to eat. As soon as he spies the gnarled vine and the strange leaves though, he becomes goblin-alert. "Pssst - Chuffy! Look there - might be a trap or sneaky bowman! O Lord of Sneaks, sneakify on him and see what is trying to steal our truffles!"
Chuffy downs his prize for being the superior goblin and stealthily dashes off around the tree. Chief know Chuffy best Sneak! Chuffy be the best, nobody find Chuffy!
________
After the glorious battle Squealy Nord immediately starts sniffing around, looking for those awesome truffs. However, as Poog goes off to help find the tasty treats for the feast that will surely come out of this marvellous victory, Lord Moggy starts pestering him for a bit of healing. Bishop Poog graciously agrees to do so after some bribes, pulling his trusty healing stick from his pants and stuffing it in Mogmurch's ear, "There! Moggmurch happy now? Poog fix little scratch..." He then scampers after his piggly friend, no time to check on the caravan... Something he regrets later when he notices Reta's haul and the prosthetic foot going to waste on a goblin who doesn't know what to do with it.
"Chuff..." Reta starts as Mogmurch begins pointing out the viney arm in the tree. "Reta about to say just that..." she continues, forlorn.
Though pouting, she readies her bow and waits to see what Chuffy discovers.
Squealy Nord quickly turns up a truffle and sets to snorting about for another one as Chuffy sneaks about. Suddenly the large vine begins to move...and it doesn't look friendly!
This gnarled vine, as thick as a man's arm and bearing hand-shaped leaves, convulses across the branches in an unnatural slither.
===================
Mogmurch
Chuffy
Poog/Nord
Reta
Vine
Special Attacks:
Grab: Can wrap around creatures it hits and Constrict
Entangle: As a free action, can cause plants within 30feet of it to animate and grasp at foes.
[spoiler=K Nature DC 23+]
Resist Cold 10, Fire 10: Immune to Electricity
"Uh oh! An assassin vine! I don't 'memember too much about them, but they gots all the usual plant stuff!"
Mogmurch hurls a flask of Alchemist's fire at the strange plant creature.
"Chuffy can be Sassin' too! Stoopid vine, Chuffy think you roots dry and tiny! HAHAHAHA!" the silly goblin giggles as he circles around the vine and tries to cut something off of it. "Chuffy have eyes, Chuffy know plant have leaves and roots!"
________
"DON'T LET IT GET SQUEALY!!!"
The arrows Reta pulls from her quiver flicker as if already on fire, and they both burst into real flame after she takes aim and quickly fires two in rapid succession at the assassin vine.
"RETA RIGHT, SAVE SQUEALY!" Poog screams as his truffle hunting friend is put in dire peril by the appearance of a plant with delusions of grandeur, "Burn stoopid vine! BURN IT, BUUUURN IT!!!" The irate cleric points his fingers at the assassin vine, shooting a bolt of fire.
*EEEEEEAAAAAAA!* Meanwhile Squealy Nord starts making his customary racket, letting out loud, annoyingly high pitched squeals in between the occasional snap at the vine in self defence.
Mogmurch tosses a vile at the evil plant, exploding in a ball of fire. Unfortunately, when the smoke clears the vine seems unharmed.
Chuffy quickly moves into position and slices off a section of the green for as Poog launches a bolt of fire at it. The flaming orb strikes cleanly...but doesn't seem to affect the creature at all.
Nord lunges but cant quite connect. Reta flaming arrows bury themselves in the thing...the fires going out on contact.
Turning its attention on the chief of stabs, the vine lunges for Chuffy. Chuffy quick as a whip twirls out of the way unharmed.
Mogmurch
Chuffy
Poog/Nord
Reta
Vine
"You no grab Chuffy!" the goblin sings as he finishes his twirl with another slice! "Why plant no burn? Is only job!"
________
"FLAMING ARROWS 'SPENSIVE!!! VINE MAKE ME WASTE 'SPENSIVE ARROWS!!!"
Reta switches to her normal arrows, and sends two more flying at the assassin vine.
Seeing that the hideous plant beast monster appears unaffected by fire, the Lorde 'Mpererer changes his approach. "Tackticks, my minions, tackticks. It's all 'bout having a Tack Tick mind..."
"Poog have TACK TICKS!" The overconfident goblin yells as he draws his short sword and runs towards his squealing pet, "They just all need fire is all..." Side by side with Squeally Nord, Poog starts poking at the surprisingly flame retardant plant, cursing it for ruining all the fun of a crackling fire... "WAIT!? Who Mogmurch call minion?"
Mogmurch takes note of Poog's rebellious question before smoothly reassuring him. "Did we say minion? Of course we meant marquis d'minion! That should have been 'bvious!"
Mogmurch chucks a small sack at the plant. The loosely tied bag loosens and begins to spread it's gooey inerts as it flies, coating the creature...though it doesn't seem anchored it is certainly hindered by the tar.
Chuffy slices another piece off the vine, sap begins to leak from the site of the wound.
Though the target is surprisingly large, both Poog and Squealy seem to have troubling finding it in the foliage. Perhaps Poog is stuck on the minions statement? But Poog not yellow like nanna...
Annoyed at the loss of special arrow, Reta fires two more in rapid succession. The first connects soundly! Though, the second deflects off the thick hide of the beast and lands harmlessly in the tree.
Groaning, the creature eyes each of you in turn before grumbling or...rustling? *Swish swoooo swish!*
Suddenly, the grassy field springs to life, grasping at each of you with long tendrils!
Mogmurch
Chuffy
Poog/Nord
Reta
Vine
"IT'S GONNA EAT ME!" Chuffy squeals in panic as the very grass he stands upon locks him into place. Amidst considerable whining, he is able to slip free long enough to try and cut away at the vine once more.
________
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Reta just barely avoids getting trapped in the swarming plants, swatting a particularly aggressive milkweed out of the way with her bow, breaking pods and spraying the milky-white liquid across the field. She quickly steps backward until she finds an area where the plants remain still, and she lines up another shot at the vine.
Mogmurch demonstrates the power of leadership by retreating outside of the area of crazed plant life and looking for a stone to throw at the plant monster.
"HAHAHA! NOTHING CAN STOP POOG HALF-EAR..." Poog cheers as he deftly dodges the grabby grass. "CHOSEN OF ZARONGEL..." He continues as he pokes at the annoying plant, "BESTEST TOAD-LICKER, SUB-CHIEF OF BIRD CRUNCHERS... His confidence overflowing, he bats away any attempt the weeds make, cutting daisies and squishing grass as he rattles off all the names he believes he's earned. "SUB-CHIEF OF SPIRITS, HIGH BISHOP OF..."
Meanwhile, Nord continues to live up to his name, *SQUEEEEEAAAAALLLL* And although the grass wraps around his trotters, the plucky pig pulls the offending plant life out of the ground, roots and all, before he makes another attempt to bite the biggest plant of them all.
Though the foliage engulfs several of the group, through sheer force of will and teammwork you manage to dice up the plant. Too bad goblins aren't big on salads...
As you glance around, trying to ensure all is safe now, the grass slowly reseeds back to its harmless state. Nord quickly digs up a couple good sized truffles and nuzzles up to Poog.
"TRUFFLES!" Chuffy screams as he dives onto Squealy, trying to wrassle one from him. "GIMMEGIMMEGIMMEGIMME!"
For the moment Mogmurch forgets any imperial pretensions he may have ever held, as he too dives upon Squealy, eager to feast upon the truffles!!!!
Suddenly, a seemingly feral woman with wild-eyes soars out of the nearby building. The tattered wings and taloned feet give notice she is not an actual longshank!
Twirling in the air to gaze upon you, she begins to sing a song for all to hear! Though you can't quite make out the words....it is ever so captivating.
Victims of this captivating song move towards the harpy using the most direct means available. If the path leads them into a dangerous area such as through fire or off a cliff, the creature receives a second save to end the effect.
Captivated creatures take no actions other than to defend themselves.
A creature within 5 feet of the harpy simply stands and offers no resistance to the harpy's attacks. The effect lasts as long as the harpy sings and 1 additional round afterwards.
==================
Chuffy
Reta
Poog
Morgmurch
Isidra
This is a Harpy (Medium Monstrous Humanoid)
Special Attacks Captivating Song (Which you are currently experiencing)
"NO THE TRUFFS BE POOGS! SQUEALY FIND THEM FO- OOoooooooh!!!" Poog starts to wrestle with the others, as they pounce on his pig, but the sounds of song distract the wilful goblin. He blinks a couple of times and shakes his head, "Oh no yous don't! THE TRUFFS BE POOGS!!! He stuffs his hand down his pants and pulls a wand that looks more like a stick of charcoal and points it at the tatty bird lady, letting loose a huge fireball.
Meanwhile Squealy Nord uncharacteristically, snorts quietly and tunefully along with the song as he slowly trots off towards the source. "Squealy!?" Poog asks, perplexed by the pig's actions.
Above the din of the truffle wrasslin', Chuffy catches the hint of a tune. What is first a note here, and a note there, soon builds into a gentle, yet firm caress of the mind. His ears twitch, barely able to contain themselves as the marvelous rhapsody resounds within them. Anger gone, he is suddenly at peace with the world and he sits down to think. Why Chuffy fighting? Chuffy no fight no more. Chuffy not mad at face for ugly. Is not face fault. Where song come from?
Chuffy stands back up and begins to search for the source of this life changing symphony, leaving the troubles of this material world behind him.
________
"QUEEN FATHEAD NOT FOOLED BY SONG OF..." her voice trails off as she becomes captivated. "...pretty lady...." Reta begins moving towards the woman, in a trance. "...sooooo pretty...." she repeats, soft as a whisper.
Mogmurch lifts his head from the truffle hunt in amazement. This is the most beautiful song he's ever heard. And sung by the most beautiful woman! Such a voice! Such beauty! Like a queen... A queen! At last, Mogmurch has found his destined one. He moves towards her in a stunned and glorious reverie, love sick beyond imagination. Until he notices Reta and Chuffy also moving towards his betrothed. This must not be! How dare they! I will get to her first and declare my undying love!
As Poog's companions...both goblin and boar meander towards the strange singing lady he grabs a stick from...wait wrong one...a wand from his pants and activates it.
With a large explosion, fire engulfs the woman as she continues to sing...though the smell of burnt flesh wafts towards the group.
Spinning about to see where the fire came from, it levels its eyes on Poog. Shooting forward, the creature dips down towards the goblin, swinging with a mace, and darts back upwards out of range. Slamming hard against the goblins head, it continues to sing it's song of beauty.
Chuffy
Reta
Poog
Morgmurch
Isidra
"The claaaawwww..." Chuffy half sings as he floats on over to the harpy again.
A victim under the effects of the captivating song moves toward the harpy using the most direct means available. If the path leads them into a dangerous area such as through fire or off a cliff, that creature receives a second saving throw to end the effect before moving into peril. Captivated creatures can take no actions other than to defend themselves. A victim within 5 feet of the harpy simply stands and offers no resistance to the harpy’s attacks. This effect continues for as long as the harpy sings and for 1 round thereafter.
Why she keep moving! Reta just want stand and listen to her beautiful singing!
Reta continues to try to meet up with the singer of her dreams.
Mogmurch moves forward to just beneath the harpy and then, seeing that Reta is trying to do the same, sticks out his foot and attempts to trip her.
Suddenly a gooey mass coalesces from the tall grass. With a series of BzzT.Whirrr. it begins to take shape...appearing as a slightly lazy adaptation of Poog.
The head looks first right, then left.
A gravely voice sounds out "Poog Bot Active. Searching files for Protocols..."
A moment later the head moves again. "No specific protocols located. Loading assumption protocols; Poog."
The clay arm reaches raises up as a wand seems to elongate out of it. With a mechanical *CLICK* a ball of fire erupts again.
With a bow, the abomination dissolves before you and sinks back into the dirt from whence it came.
As the ball of fire explodes, the beast vaporizes. Seconds afterwards, Mogmurch, Reta, Squealy Nord, and Chuffy all come to their senses again.
Mogmurch feels an undefinable sadness at the sudden loss of his lady love. At first he considers bombing Poog in retaliation, but he quickly realizes that Poog-bot is nowhere to be found, and that murdering this Poog will offer no real satisfaction.
He spends a moment contemplating a nearby dandelion, wondering at the ephemeral nature of life and death, imagining what a queen the harpy would have been, and sighs deeply. Truly a broken-hearted goblin is the saddest goblin.
In hopes that he might find some small token of remembrance, a keepsake of their love, Mogmurch wanders into the hut.