Bigbadaboom grunts and pulls himself up with one arm to stand on the post. He hops over to another post and fires on a stirge.
hopping to the plank next to BBB
He hefts the boot, takes aim at the entangled Stirge on Doza's plank and lets the heavy boot fly
Seeing the last of the Stirges up for grabs, Glug Glug carefully aims his crossbow and fires a shot.
To Hit
Damage:
Shortork thunks a stirge with a boot. It collapses on the end of the rope and swings gently. Meanwhile Glug Glug's bolt pins the last of the stirges to a post. The Bird Crunchers cheer.
"Good, good. I wasn't keeping score. Let's get ye to the pie!"
The tribe leads the characters back to the caves. A horrendous smell of rotting meat permeates the air. The origin of the smell is a ten-foot wide depression filled with filled with a nasty, not-quite-boiling-hot slurry of spoiled milk, mud, swamp water, mashed-up grass, and dead birds. The top is covered over with an incongruously delicious- and flaky looking pie crust. Several cauldrons of boiling pie filling sit nearby along with a number of large, dented metal funnels.
"Oooooohh, num-nums. No num-nums for you Bull. You stay here" Doza said, pointing to a spot on the ground.
Once in the pie, Doza tried to burn through her bindings with her acid touch.
Glug Glug tries to pull at the knife (sharpened metal piece) from his belt and cut away from his ropes.
Sitting happily in the pie Shortork is enjoying the delightful smells. Then he notices the choppa being pecked at by an eagle. He lunges at the bird mouth open.
And plows face first into a puddle of putrid milk
"Oooh, good for skin! No...wait ..hot!" shouts Bigbadaboom. He thrashes about the boiling muck snapping his teeth at an eagle.
Glug Glug manages to free himself from the ropes as Shortork and Bigbadaboom fail to eat some birds. Doza uses acid to neatly sever the ropes, freeing herself.
The eagles screech and flail about in the muck, pecking and scratching everything in their pain and confusion, clipped wings beating frantically.
Smelling the aroma of the delicious simmering pies, Glug Glug begins to daydream about some of the great meals he had made. But that only last a moment as the talon of the eagle scratches his skin. And to drive home that this is not a pleasant place Glug Glug wants to be he pulls out his Fire Belly extract and downs it.
Now me tummy feel nice and warm just like pie!
Getting to his feet ShortOrk pauses momentarily to lick the rancid milk from his face then attempts to bite the ropes from his hands
but instead nips his own hand. Enraged "Waaagh!' he snatches up the choppa with a look that says I'm going to do something everyone is going regret.
"What score Wise Mubby?" shouts one of the Birdcrunchers with an especially nasally voice.
The older goblin woman seems transfixed by the 'pie' she's arranged. "Huh? What ye go-Oh! Yeah. Uh. All tied up," she lies, having forgotten over the course of a rather entertaining and eventful day.
More boiling mud-bird-grass mixture is brought over and poured into the pie as the tribe chants, "More fillin'! More fillin'!"
"Inmore fill! Inmore fill!" shouts Bigbadaboom, slightly off beat from the tribe's rhythm for some reason.
When the fresh batch of boiling liquid is added he has a confused and curious look on his face for a moment, as though he were on the verge of a world-shattering epiphany. His mouth opens and shuts a couple of times.
His eyes grow wide with shock. "Bigbadaboom B.B.s be burning!"
He flails and jumps from the pool, flopping around the ground like a fish as he tries to get the hot mud off his body.
Somewhat more pleased with herself, Doza spread her fingers out, hands together, and giggled with glee as flames erupted from her hands.
Doza burns the feathers off the birds, which slowly stop flopping about as they sucomb to the heat of the filling. The crowd cheers! Then breaks out into raucous goblin song.
"Pie done! Doza won! Bird cook! Eat rook!"
The Birdcrunchers rush the pit and yank the new chieftain and her sub-chiefs into the air. Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh stands silent as the goblins cheer and celebrate the new leaders who will lead the fight against the Munchmeat family.
Glug Glug parties up the night, drinking everything and anything he can get his hands on. When shown to the new shinnies, Glug Glug is instantly drawn to the potions and spends time trying to identify there contents. He also takes a look at the broken dogslicers in an attempt to see if he can fix them. Knowing this might take a while, he begins to create a lovely stew with the bird parts and pickle, adding a few spices of his own making.
Bursting from the pie ShortOrk is ready to crunch many bircrunchers but is somewhat confused when the other goblins begin to cheer. Red-eyed with rage he kicks the nearest cauldron sending it plowing into several Birdcrunchers knocking them to the ground. The goblins immediately warm to the game and begin to kick and push the cauldron about and over each other. ShortOrk drops out of rage and wonders over to the loot snatching up a jar of pickles and handfull of bird parts. Then sits by the fire and begins to eat, washing it down with the delightful pickle juice.
Rolls for Identifying Potions
Potion 1
Potion 2
Potion 3
Potion 4
Potion 5
"Ye chiefs and heroes best be careful with Pa Munchmeat. He hits hard. Ye best be watching for the fire-breathing pigs. They breathe fire. And the farmer's daughter? She has a weasel as big as a horse." Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh tells the goblins as they head out that morning to find and kill the evil Pa Munchmeat.
The morning is warm and sunny and the goblins find themselves wandering the woods trying to follow the rough map one of their new subjects sketched for them.
All of the goblins spot it from beneath the bushes. A pig. A big pig wearing armor made of leather. Dangling from around it's neck is a yellow gourd. It snorts and stamps a hoof into the dirt.
[ooc]Everyone can act before the boar goes.[/dice]
Moving toward the pig ShortOrk snatches up a rock along the way. He looks at the rock then at the Choppa then at the Pig.Rock you knock pig. Choppa pig will come to us."He flings the rock at Piggy.
The rock goes wide. But at least it gets the pig's attention
With a kick of her heels, Doza and Bull followed ShortOrk toward the pig in the woods. For once, Doza remained patient and let the boar come to her.
Hearing Shortorks plan, Glug Glug drinks his shield extract quickly, then attaches a bottle of Acid to his crossbow bolt as only a Goblin can do. He then raises the crossbow into the firing position waiting for his shot.
"Breakfast! Breakfast!" shouts Bigbadaboom excitedly as he points at the huge boar. He starts forward and brings the shotgun up to his shoulder to take a wild potshot at the tusked pig.
The boar stamps it's foot and snorts. Then it sinks it's teeth into the gourd around it's neck and tilts it upward. Juices run down it's maw and the discarded drops to the ground with wisps of steam rising from the skin. It steps forward just a touch and snorts at Shortork.
A fireball shoots forward from the boar striking Shortork and engulfing him in flames.
Surprised by the pig's action ShortOrk barely manages to avoid most of the fire. Still smoldering slightly he charges."Waagh!"
Landing a solid blow on the big pig
Glug Glug moves into a better position and takes a shot on the beast.
Bull trotted closer at Doza's insistence. From the back of her trusty steed, she again raised her practiced eyebrow in her most fearsome display of power.
Startled by the flames, Bigbadaboom tucks and rolls forward for no reason. He comes up with the dogslicer in one hand and does a somersault, or tries to at least. His stance is slightly off-balance by the weapons in his hands, so he puts the blunderbuss away for now.
Shortork takes a big chunk out of the boar, but it doesn't really seem to notice. Nor does it really care when it is penetrated by a crossbow bolt and splashed with acid.
The boar meets Doza's gaze. It's red animal eyes seem unfazed in the least by the supernatural curse, almost too dumb to understand. It backs up a touch from Shortork and spits more fire at the barbarian.
Doza growled in frustration and gave the boar an even more stern look, trying to raise her eye brow even higher.
No matter how eye Doza lifts her eyebrow, Piggy just is not fazed.
Glug Glug moves into position and launches a bomb at the fire breathing beast!
Twisting to the side Shortork again avoids most of the flame. It does however send him into RAGE."Waagh!"
He swings the choppa.
Driveing the blade deep into the beast
Then he steps forward and bites the pig.
Bigbadaboom whistles tunelessly as he rolls and runs and twists without apparent reason, but ends up cutting the pig's angle of retreat off.
Once again, the pig breathes a gout of flame at Shortork, as it ignores the vicious wound Choppa inflicted on it.
Twisting the wrong way this time, ShortOrk rolls into the flames. He falls to the ground still smoking.
Watching the Shortork go down in a smoking heap, Glug Glug cant help but wonder if that delicious aroma is coming from the cooked boar or from Shortork, MMMMMMM. Glug Glug shake his head back and forth, taking a moment to get his head back into the fight. Glug Glug moves around Shortork and pulls another bomb and decides to cook the piggy some more. Distracted by the delightful aroma, Glug Glug launches the the bomb a bit to far.
Incredibly frustrated by the lack of respect the pig had shown for her raised eye, Doza dismounted. She looked around for that loud goblin with the big choppa before she realized she was standing on him. If goblins could blush, she wouldn't have. She didn't really care that much. She stepped to the side and smacked him on the head.
"You! Stop burning. Go kill piggy."
Standing up, ShortOrk has stopped burning but still smokes.
Unfortunately, the smoke must have gotten in his eyes.
Bigbadaboom laughs as Shortork's eyebrows are burned off completely, then gasps as one of Glug Glug's bombs looks to go long. He covers his eyebrows and ducks and rolls to the side.
When he comes up he swings at the boar's hind-quarters, hoping to cut a nice pork chop for lunch.
The boar snarls and tries to dive out of the way of the bomb's shrapnel and flames only to find BBB's dogslicer perforating it's kidney. It turns with a snarl but falls over dead before it can launch an attack.
Around it's neck are two intact gourds and the consumed one.
Surrounded by a rickety wooden fence and thick mud, Munchmeat Farm slumps in a soggy valley between two low tors. A slimy-looking creek winds through the farm, which is barely anything to look at. A house in the center of the fenced-in area leans against two hefty buttresses holding up three large beams. It’s balanced on numerous thick log stilts that create a cage-like hollow in the mud below the building. North of the house are a few filthy chicken coops, and to the west an upturned boat, propped against the fence, has been built into an impromptu shelter. A shed sits to the south of the building, and south and east of this shed are a few tired stretches of garden that look like they’re best at growing mud and weeds.
A single rickety farm gate allows passage through the wooden fence here, below an archway made of broken branches and bleached bones. A sign hangs from the arch, its words scrawled onto the wood with what looks like blood. Three severed, maggot-covered goblin heads sit on poles driven into the ground to the left of the gate. A second sign leans against these poles under the heads.
Getting to his feet after resting, (face down in the mud) from the Rage. ShortOrk brushes himself off, in the process sloughing off a layer of burned skin and a liberal amount of burnt ear hair. He looks at the Choppa. "Piggy was very spicy.
"Anybody got plan?" Glug Glug says, then stares at Shortork still smelling like BBQ. His eyes widen as he remembers something. Oh yeah, me forgets, take this in case we see any more fire pigs. He hands over the potion of fire resistance.
"Anybody got plan?" Glug Glug says, then stares at Shortork still smelling like BBQ. His eyes widen as he remembers something. "Oh yeah, me forgets, take this in case we see any more fire pigs." He hands over the potion of fire resistance.
"Hmmm" Doza said, deep in thought.
"We'ze damn-bush. Me's go in. When me's sees not me's, me's come back. When not me's chase me's, you's'em booms not-me's. I knows. Is great idea."
The goat rolled his eyes.
"You's" she said, pointing at Shortork. "You's comes with me's."
Taking to potion from Glug Glug and sniffing the contents. "Dis make Choppa be no crispy?
Listening carefully to Doza's plan and only dozing off once. Shortork hefts the Choppa and prepares to charge. Then stops and looks in each direction, then glances at Doza and points toward the farm and nods.