The halfling couple see the approaching goblins lead by Shortork and glance at one another with a loving smile. The male halfling loosens his black bow-tie while the female casually tosses the bouquet over her shoulder where it is caught by the goblin formerly known as Kettlehead as he charges around madly. Both halflings crack their knuckles and necks and walk forward without a trace of hurry in their steps.
Doza raced forward after Shortork as fast as her little legs could carry her. She glanced back over her shoulder every few steps, trying to make sure that the beast was still in the house. It did little good though. It was unlikely the beast would break through the window and since goblins had only recently managed to master opening doors she was sure it was not capable of such a monumental task. As she ran, she shouted one word over and over again. It was a fearful word, and enough to drive even the bravest of goblins into a panicked frenzy.
"DOG!"
She skidded to a halt a few feet behind Shortork, completely oblivious to the two halflings standing in front of him. The exertion took it's toll on Doza as she rested her hands on her knees as she bent forward, trying to catch her breath.
"Dog" she said again, this time between panted gulps for air.
Walking to get a better angle, Glug Glug goes south of the Halfing couple. With his eyes wide and joyful look in his face Glug Glug releases the concoction he hopefully works(at the male halfling).
Splash=5 DC=Ref 15 for half
Not really caring what he hits, Glug Glug erupts in glorious laughter as the bomb goes off.
Eyes locked on the little man Shortork is about unleash a war cry and attack when he hears something. Pausing for an instant and cocking his head slightly to the side, again he hears the feared word "Dog". Looking at the Choppa and shaking his head he says.
"No, is little man not dog.
Then steps back and swings at the Halfling male.
Although completely missing his target, Shortork follows through with the swing turning 360 ending up once again facing the Halfling.
Bigbadaboom becomes excited and discharges the weapon in his hands. A spray of pellets showers the halflings and Shortork.
The halfling couple reflexively throws their hands in front of their faces to avoid the blast, but both are peppered with shrapnel.
The man steps quickly to the side of Shortork before throwing a one-two punch combination at the goblin's wide face.
His new bride flanks Shortork, and sweeps with her leg.
Wincing in pain Shortork looks at the Choppa then to the Halflings and finally back to the Choppa and says.
"No hurt me Choppa. I will hit little man this time."
Then steps back away from the Halflings as well as Badaboom before swinging
There was no way Doza was going to get Shortork to see the dog as long as he was going to play with the halflings so Doza tried to pause their game of find the blood. She pulled a bit of wool out of her ear and whispered quietly to it as she gently patted it. She turned her attention towards the male halfling and shushed him. "SHHHHH!'
Shortork's attack cuts a nasty slash in the male halfling and his bride's eyes go wide with concern as the blow is landed.
The halfling glances at Doza and looks as if he took a punch to the face.
Able to compose himself after his last attack, Glug Glug realizes he wants to save those for later. Seeing the halfling in front of him, Glug Glug does only thing he can think to do, he begings to spin his kettle attached to his chain like a hammer throw but unable to control it begins to spin himself as well. Whirling like an out of control top he releases kettle at the Halfing and falls to the ground dizzy.
Bigbadaboom recovers from his pleasant shock at how Magical Maggie's Many Murderer works. He sticks his face into the flanged barrel with curiousity, then fumbles with the materials he recovered with it until somehow, the weapon is ready to fire again.
Glug Glug's kettle flies through the air, sailing over Shortork and grazing the halfling, but adding to his various wounds.
The halflings look pleased that these goblins are putting up a fight and immediately and quietly move to the side of Shortork. "Yous thought, 'wha, halflings in penguin suits, eh? Bet dey was easy prey!'" the female says with a grin, trying again to sweep the goblin's legs out from under him.
The male shakes his head, trying to clear the magic from his mind. "Aw, come on, sweets! Theys jus' wanna party wit us!" He says after finally regaining his senses.
"Yes! Choppa wants to party."
Shouts Shortork as he hops to avoid the woman's attack.
"Does woman or cake taste better? Will have to try both."
Shortork snaps at the little woman then steps back and swings the choppa at the male Halfling.
Shortork's attacks fall short of connecting with either target. "The only thing you're going to taste is your teeth when I knock 'em down yer throat," snickers the man.
Snapping out of it, Glug Glug pulls out another bomb and attempts to hurl it at the male Halfling. Mixing what he hopes are the right liquid mixture, Glug Glug hurls the vile.
Splash Damage 5; DC 15 Reflex for half
Cotton still in hand, Doza continued to whisper sweet nothings to it as she slowly crept forward. Suddenly she stopped, snarled, and shushed the female halfling. "SHHH!"
Glug Glug's bomb strikes the halfling dead in the chest and explodes in his face, taking large chunks of his head with it and leaving the rest a charred mess. The woman begins to scream her husband's name, but is cut short by Doza's magic.
Bigbadaboom swings his gun to the halfling female and fires at her. A spray of pellets leaves one of her legs a bloody pulp. He giggles at the sight and begins the boring process of reloading.
Snarling in pain as the fire causes serious burns. Shortork unleashes his Rage.
"Waagh! Okay Choppa I will kill little ones. No burn more."
Seeing the man drop he targets the woman with the Choppa then steps in for a bite.
Shortork's intense rage and desire to please Choppa drives him to hack one of the halfling's arms off in one clean swipe as his teeth rip her throat open.
Screaming party guests and joyous goblins immediately remind the goblins of the wonderful reception these gangsters are enjoying.
"See Choppa, I kill. Oooh! cake."
Shortork stumbles toward the cake, intent on taking a big bite.
As he reaches the table a wave of exhaustion overcomes him. However the face plant into the cake is priceless.
Gifts go flying from the table as Shortork falls face first into the tiered wedding cake. Gobs of sugary icing fills his mouth and he reflexively chews the moist, soft, sugary cake. He lifts his head with manic glee, the tiny bride and groom from the top stuck into his nostrils.
Bigbadaboom hustles to finish reloading his boom-maker before rushing to the table and grabbing a handful of cake.
Not one to not eat something, Glug Glug makes his way toward the cake and takes a hand full and shoves it in his face. His grin ear to ear at the deliciousness of the cake. Remembering they have some more killing to do, he take some of the frosting and applies it to his face, his personal war paint. Now he is ready battle.
Stalking after the others with a scowl on her face, Doza whispered one last time to her fluff before stuffing it back in her belt. As she approached the others, she smacked the nearest one across the head, imparting ancient wisdom in the traditional goblin way.
"DOG in place" she said as she pointed towards the large building.
Glug Glug looks at Shortork and his wounds.
"Das this hurt" Glug Glug says after poking his wounds with a stick.
"Here drink dis, make you tummy warm and you feel good, hurt go away." Glug Glug hands one of the Marvelous Medicines he stole to Shortork.
"Ow! Yes hurt, Choppa gifts."
Says Shortork. As he wipes the frosting from his eyes. He grabs the bottle from Glug Glug and attempts pour the contents into his mouth. The cork of course prevents this. Not wanting to let on that he is unsure how to work the container he bite the end of the bottle. The cork becomes impaled on one of his teeth and pulls free, allows the potion to flow down his gullet.
Looking at Doza
"Dog! Where dog?
Looking at the Choppa his eyes get wide.
"Can chop dog too. Waagh!
He takes off running, toward the wrong building of course.
Doza sighed and followed after Shortork. "No no no. Not that way. That way" she said, pointing in the wrong direction.
Watching Shortork take off, Glug Glug begins to fill his kettle with some new shinnies (forks, knives and spoons). Grabbing all he can, he begin chasing after the rest of the Goblins. Unfortunately, he cant make up his mind on who to follow ends up running around in circles.
The confused goblins, including Bigbadaboom who takes a moment to shovel down another handful of cake, move in the direction of the dog. Or not. Regardless, they arrive in front of the barn and animal pens. Several terrified goats and pigs shriek and pace the pens. One of the piglets seems to be digging into the barn, instead of panicking like his siblings and mother.
A strange and bitter smell comes out of the barn, and the goblins see a large human with an eye patch swaying back and forth in front of a goat tied to a post. "Whuhyujussay? Huh? Whayusayboutme?" The man shouts at the terrified goat, which bleats in panic. "I can quit! Anytime I want, Ma!" The human takes a swing at the goat with his fist, but his balance is compromised as a piglet charges out of nowhere and he misses the poor animal.
Confused by the scene before him Shortork comes to an abrupt stop at the the entrance to the barn. While he is fairly sure that none of the creatures present are dogs, their actions give him pause. But never the one to let a little thing like understanding deter him.
"Waagh!"
He moves to choppa range and swings at the Human.
"Ooooh, horny dog. Me like."
Noticing the human trying to hurt her new friend, Doza quickly pulled out her favorite, trusty weapon and began to whisper to the cotton again. Glaring at the pinkskin she released a mighty "SHHHH!"
Glug Glug walks by the drunk tall man and cuts the rope holding the goat hostage, holding the rope for Doza to jump on and ride her new friend.
Bigbadaboom looks confusedly at the man trying to punch a goat. "Oh! Make tender!" he mutters before bringing his weapon up, aiming between Doza and Shortork's heads. A solid chunk of trash flies into the side of the big man's head, causing him to blink in surprise.
After shooting him, BBB moves in and draws his dogslicer.
The human shakes his head and steps back a second. He pulls out a pipe and strikes a tindertwig with his thumb. He smokes the pipe, producing an acrid, unhealthy smelling smoke and holds one finger up on his free hand, silently asking the goblins to give him a moment.
The tiny piglet nips at his heels as he is distracted, but the man casually keeps it at bay with his heavy boot.
Still confused by the scene in the barn Shortork goes with what he knows.
Stepping forward he swings the Choppa at the Human.
"Tell where Dog or Choppa cut!
He shouts...Yes he needs to remember to threaten before attacking.
Scooting to the side, Doza scooped up a handful of pebbles laying on the ground. She waved her other hand over the top of the rocks. Then she sneezed on them, blessing them with the magical power of goblin snot.
Bigbadaboom sings his song as he reloads his new toy. When he hits his crescendo he grins and steps forward a few feet, ready to shoot the human again.
Glug Glug cuts the goat free as the casual slaughter continues outside the barn.
Meanwhile the piglet continues to assault the heels of the large human, moving behind him opposite Shortork.
"No hit bacon beast! Human DIE!"
Shortork Rages, steps foward, and swings the Choppa
Wasting no more time, Doza rushed forward and leaped onto the back of the talking goat. No more would she settle for riding two-legged goblins. Now she would unleash her true power. From atop her mighty mount, she looked about with renewed pride.
"Hmm, not dog. Horns. Must be bull, yes. I shall call you...Bull!"
"What? I'm not a bull! And that is definitely not my name!"
"I shall call you...dinner!"
"Bull will be fine, thank you."
With that settled, Doza reached over to thank the man with a pat on the back, but Bull, being unaccustomed to being ridden, moved away at the last moment causing Doza's hand to miss. She managed to not fall off despite her other hand being full of pebbles. Her practice at riding goblins was paying off.
The piglet causes the human to reflexively jump with pain, and he drops his pipe. Tiny flakes of pungent, still burning leaves spill out. The man looks stunned as the leaves turn to ash and blow away. "What did you do? I am going to KILL you!" He spits as he shouts, and he grabs the greatsword on his back. For some reason he has decided to blame Shortork.
He aims for Shortork's neck, but misses entirely.
Wild-eyed with both rage and massive amounts of sugar. Shortork opens his huge mouth and bites at the human.
Pulling one of the many utensils Glug Glug found on the various tables, he pulls ones out and takes aim at the now visibly angry man.
The large fork, for goblin standards anyways, goes whizzing by the human head and sticks into the wall behind him.
Angry that he missed, Glug Glug is seriously considering burning the barn down with one of his big booms, but thinks better of it.
Firing another shot at the man, Bigbadaboom notes the convienance of a fork ready for him to enjoy a meal of the drugged human. "Oh! Pick man meat from teef!"
After firing, he begins to reload once more.
The squealing piglet tries to take another bite of the human, but is unable to get through the scampering feet.
The reckless human tries to chop Shortork in half length-wise, but his sword is caught on a beam in the barn, saving the mighty goblin's life.
Now not only raged, sugared, and taunted by the big human. Who shamelessly displayed his weapon and in Shortork's mind saying mine is bigger and better than yours. He goes all out with his attacks.
"Waagh! The Mighty Choppa is more good than big knife."
He bites at the man then steps back and swings twice with choppa (sugar haste)
Shortork lays into the human addict with his choppa. Although the first blow is fatal, he keeps hacking the manical human again for good measure, ensuring he is truly dead.