Raising his hand, Bigbadaboom says, "Oh, oh, me!" He believes he is volunteering to do the clubbing, but Slorb looks at him and tell him to run and hide, because he is it.
BBB's eyes go wide and he shrieks before hauling goblin butt into the swamp.
After a minute of running, he spots a thick bramble bush and dives into it, trying to catch his breath and remain as still as possible.
Several of the tribe runs after BBB, but grow bored quickly when they cannot find him.
At dawn, Bigbadaboom would wander back to the tribe. Cold and tired from having hidden so well. Later Slorb would give him the magical ring. He would, however, end up missing the rest of the party altogether as he is afraid to come out of his hiding spot and be clubbed.
A twenty-foot long coil of sharp razor-wire, barbed wire, and corroded barrel hoops festooned with dozens of broken swords and daggers is carefully hauled out from behind the chief's hut by a score of eager goblins. Two rotting goblin ears can be seen in the rough mix of junk. Without any other explanation, Slorb calls out, "Who will dare the RUSTY EARBITER!" The Licktoads go crazy with shouts and cheers. "If you make it, you get the Chief’s Personal Very Useful Robe That Is Useful!" The stained and tattered gray robe has four crude patches sewn into it. One is a ladder, another a three-legged turtle, the third a horseshoe, and finally a bullhorn.
Glug Glug wakes up from his drunken slumber not realizing he has already missed half the party already. Still half drunk, Glug Glug now has the munchies. Looking around he spots the two rotting goblin ears within the Rusty Earbiter. Seeming like a tasty snake, Glug Glug begins to climb with in.
He manages to blunder his way past the first section and manages to continue on seeing those delicious ear at the end Glug Glug continues on . . .
With thoses tasty ears within his reach Glug Glug makes his way to the second section of the Ear Bitter. They are so close he can taste it, Glug Glug pushes everforwrd.
Stuck for the moment, Glug Glug takes out another gourd of god know nows and chuggs. He carries on
Glug Glug wakes up from his drunken slumber not realizing he has already missed half the party already. Still half drunk, Glug Glug now has the munchies. Looking around he spots the two rotting goblin ears within the Rusty Earbiter. Seeming like a tasty snake, Glug Glug begins to climb with in.
He manages to blunder his way past the first section and manages to continue on seeing those delicious ear at the end Glug Glug continues on . . .
With thoses tasty ears within his reach Glug Glug makes his way to the second section of the Ear Bitter. They are so close he can taste it, Glug Glug pushes everforwrd.
Finally reaching the ears he begins chomping down blissfully unaware that he has made it through the challenges.
The tribe loves Glug Glug's performance, especially the part where he got sliced and passed out snoring. When someone noticed Glug Glug finally moving forward again, the tribe began cheering once more and watching the plucky goblin wiggle through the Rusty Ear Biter.
In the morning, smoke and fog conspire to keep goblin body odor, vomit, and refuse thick in the air. Slorb wakes the goblin heroes with a hard knock to the skull from a stick and hands them the last gift the noble Toadlicker chief bestows on the goblins in pursuit of their most holy mission to acquire the huge stash of fireworks in the swamp. Setting out into the Brinestump, Slorb's last words echo in the goblin's minds, "If you don't bring back more fireworks, we'll eat you!" he said waving and smiling.
The group moves deep into the swamps, following the crude map as best as they can. After what seems like days, but is really about an hour, the mangrove trees begin to look a little extra gnarled and dark. Birds stop chirping and the air grows still.
since i can't find it, lol
Shortork and Glug Glug both notice something moving in the trees: a spider the size of a human!
As he walks Shortork chats with Choppa.
"Okay Choppa we have to do thing. We must get fireworks to eat...or maybe we must eat Slorb."
After walking in the water ground for longer than he can remember he notices two things. First the stupid birds finally shut up and second a big many legged thing is up ahead. It takes his sharp...er dull brain a few moments to realize what this is.
"Choppa is Many Goblin Lostlegs Eat Baby...thing...Waagh!!!"
Grabbing up a rock from the ground and hurling it at the monster.
His throw however was a little off. Okay he threw it straight up and had to move to avoid being hit by the falling stone.
As the trees turned dark and gnarled, Doza smiled. It was nice to be home. The bleak landscape was comforting, but it didn't last long. Eventually Shortork disrupted her brilliant-quiet-thinking-and-snoring-time by talking to her Choppa again. One of these days she was going to have to reclaim the Choppa, but not now. She was content to let the brave warrior carry it in her stead. Ironically though he decided to attack whatever it was that he thought he saw with a rock. She preferred sticks to smack rocks but apparently Shortork hadn't learned that lesson. He would soon enough as the rock revolted against Shortork and attempted to smack the goblin warrior right in the face. Luckily they were both bad throwers and neither was injured in the confrontation.
"What, what you see? Where, where you see?"
Looking for perfect piece of wood to craft a bow with, Glug Glug notices the monstrous 8 legged beast. Slowing down so others can get in front of him, Glug Glug slowly pulls out his dagger and attempts to hide among the trees.
Glug Glug dives for cover at the sight of the giant spider while Shortork bounces a rock off of a tree trunk which rebounds to whiz by his head.
Lost Legs responds to Shortork's attack with one of it's own. It faces away from the goblins for a moment to generate a stream of webbing aimed at Shortork.
Fortunately for the goblin rager, the spider's aim is as bad as his is. Perhaps the sudden encounter surprised it as much as the goblins.
Glug Glug readies a small clay vile, now smoking. From the shadows he hurls it toward the repulsive beast with many legs.
Then like any goblin, Glug Glug moves around and positions himself behind Shortork and a tree.
The boughs of the tree above explode in a shower of leaves and branches as Glug Glug's bomb nails the trunk beside the mammoth arachnid. All of it's red eyes seem to glare with malice at Glug Glug.
Doza had a tight hold on Bull with her legs. "No go" she ordered. Bull was content to not charge head long into a tree occupied by a giant spider.
Doza began to chant as she sat upon Bull. Her hands waved rudimentary patterns in the air as her chanting grew louder until finally she shouted "LEAVES!! GRAB DAT!!"
"Choppa Lots of goblin eat baby legs...thing need killing but too high for you. I must use other thing."
Shortork says to his weapon before snatching up another rock to throw (after briefly eyeing Glug Glug as a possible projectile)
Shortork beans the spider hard with a rock, breaking one of it's seven legs. It turns away from the group again, aiming it's spinneret at Shortork.
Thick webbing coats the goblin warrior, fully entangling him in sticky silk. Lost Legs scurries down the base of the tree, venom dripping from fangs as large as a goblin's arm.
Once on the ground, however, Doza's magic causes the underbrush to shoot out and restrain the spider, which shrieks in frustration and confusion.
"Boss, lookout!" Bigbadaboom shouts a few seconds too late to warn Shortork. He ducks and tumbles and trips his way to defend Shortork, coming up in front of him in a crouch and firing the blunderbuss at the spider.
Grabbing one of Bigbadaboom's blunderbuss rounds he has been playing with, Glug Glug starts to infuse the ammo with an alchemist fire and hands it over to Bigbadboom. Boom Boom Now Big Boom Boom! he says with a devilish grin.
"Legs thing lost one. Sticky no stop me, Waagh!!"
Shortork shouts as he attempts to break free.
Easily snapping the webbing he steps forward and swings the Choppa at the spider
Unfortunately he missed a strand of web around his foot that caused him to stumble and nearly drop the Choppa.
The spider struggles against the grasping underbrush.
The mammoth spider snaps enough vines to edge forward and bite at Shortork.
Just like it's opponent, an overlooked strand holds the spider's lunge back and causes it to miss.
Bigbadaboom returns Glug Glug's grin and moves to blast the vile arachnid.
The incendiary blast burns the hairs off of the creature and knocks it around. The creature's legs try to find purchase and it looks to be ready to turn around and flee.
Doza's pride at her own ingenious command of the leaves was quickly replaced by anger as the enormous spider managed to break from of the trap. She reached into a pouch that she had tied around Bull and grabbed a handful of pebbles. Her other hand she waved around above the pebbles cackling gleefully with her next brilliant strategy.
The frenzied rage fills Shortork. He bits at one of the spider's legs.
Then hopping back he brings the Choppa down on the creature's body.
"Waagh!!!"
Narrowly dodging Shortork's teeth, Lost Legs tries to scurry away from the unexpected danger. Somewhere in it's spider brain it has realized that goblin babies are easy, but full-grown goblins are too much trouble. Before it can get away to absorb this lesson, Shortork's Choppa neatly bisects the arachnid lengthwise. In a second, everything is calm and silent again.
Glug Glug begins to look around, maybe its lair is near by or there might have been some other victims, anything he could use to create his alchemy.
Sticky webbing high in the trees catches Glug Glug's attention. He follows it a little ways to a small group of fallen trees can be seen, tented in webs. Within the perimeter of the trees are nearly a dozen bodies. Some are days old, others months. Goblins, pinkskins, and a variety of animals lie dead in a pile. Picking through the trash turns up a number of gleaming treasures. Twenty four gold goins in total are interesting and make a pleasant jingling sound, but one desicated halfing corpse clutches a darkwood crossbow of extraordinary craftsmanship. Eleven bolts sit unused, strapped to the body. A small pearl turns up in the pocket of a kobold, and a human girl's pouch holds a wax-sealed package filled with six juicy licorice candies.
Of particular interest to Glug Glug are four bottles, scattered among the different bodies. They look very much like potion bottles.
After the goblins get back on the path to their goal, it only takes a few hours before they locate the shipwreck indicated on the map.
How a ship got this far past the coast is a mystery, but the vessel sits in a shallow and stagnant pool of mud, upright and mostly whole. Thick vines and dark moss cover just about every inch of the ship and fragrant wood smoke wafts up from a cabin at the fore section. In the twilight, the ancient ruins seem creepy and foreboding.
Glug Glug collects all the treasure he can, keeping the crossbow for himself. When he come back to the group he offers them the licorice candies and the small pearl.Beastie hold Yum Yums!
During the few hours to takes to reach the shipwreck, Glug Glug will take out a one of the potions and smell it, taste it a little all while trying to identify it.
[b]Potion 1[b/]
[b]Potion 2[b/]
[b]Potion 3[b/]
[b]Potion 4[b/]
Falling to his knees after the rage Shortork fails to notice Glug Glug searching for the loot. However when he recovers from the fatigue the first thing his fuzzy brain hears is "bull's strength".
"Doza sit on Bull. He should get strong water. The Choppa agrees."
Later upon sighting the boat.
Humies strange, Why make water house when no water? Ooh, look stinky mud. This is special place."
"No. Humies smart. Make fence around water house to keep water out. Smart. We need water house. See if anyone home."
Bull rolled his eyes. It seemed every chance encounter he was questioning his decision to serve as a mount for a goblin. Surely there had to be a more dignified life for him somewhere.
Doza would have heard him sigh, if goats could sigh, and she knew what a sigh was. Instead she dug her heels in and urged Bull towards the no-water water house.
Following Doza's direction Shortork dashes forward, coming to an abrupt stop at the fence.
"Choppa we must be sure no sneaky water follow us through fence."
He looks about, around, over, and under the fence for any sign of sneaky water. Once satisfied no water was around he hops over the fence and moves closer. Stopping near the ramp. Looking back at the others he nods then smacks the water house with the Choppa.
"Anyone home? It's only the Choppa and me."
He says loudly.
In response to Shortork's loud query comes an unearthly and demonic sound: barking. Gradually the loud barks fade and are replaced with forlorn howling and the rattling of chains.
That is when the horse arrives from the other side of the ship. Steam bellows from the horse's nose as it snorts and stamps it's hooves.
"Whoa..." Bigbadaboom utters in awe as he stares at the horrible nightmare before him. He snaps his mouth shut and jumps into action, rushing to his boss' side.
Following the others, Doza spurred Bull forward like a conquering general first stepping foot onto new land to pillage. She drew out her new favorite weapon as Bull drew closer to the goblins.
Weary of the large horse beast, Glug Glug clutches his new crossbow close as he makes his way up toward the ladder to land boat.
The horse snorts and stamps one hoof before breaking out into a run heading straight for the noisy Shortork.
Completely ignoring the punishing kick from the horse. Shortork stares open-mouthed at the animal.
"Choppa it's a...HORSE! WAAGH!"
[occ]Rage round 1 of 8[/occ]
He snaps his huge mouth at the creature then steps back and swings the choppa.
Shortork's teeth tear a chunk off of the horse's throat. The horse makes a choked sound in response, but the furious goblin warrior's horsechoppa hacks into the beast's head. It falls the the ground with a loud thud and for a few moments, everything is silent.
Low and mournful dog howls break the silence.
Approaching Shortork, Doza remarks "Choppa am powerful weapon indeed." She smacks Shortork on the shoulder with pride, amazed at the power with which the mighty goblin slew their ancient enemy.
"I will gift you with amazingly superb awesomeness of power" she said as she cast guidance on the warrior.
Nodding to Doza Shortork takes a deep breath as the redness drains from his eyes and says.
"Yes Da Choppa is mighty. But that sound?"
Looking about he quietly asks.
"Is it Dog?"
Glug Glug shouts at Shortork "HEY! You no eat all, save some for us." Glug Glug pauses for a second, his mind races with all the recipes he can remember for horse. His mouth drooling (more than usual) Glug Glug breifly ponders about pulling out his fork and knife for some dinner but thinks better of it. Gathering the little wits he has, Glug Glug takes a look around, in case there is some other trouble out there.
Looking up at the buzzing sound overhead, Glug Glug shouts "BEEEEEEES" as he frantically runs back down the ladder begins running in circles and screaming "Get them off, get them off" not knowing if they are actually on him.
Doza looked at Shortork, somewhat perturbed. "No, that horse" she said, pointing to the horse.
She looked at Glug Glug running around like he was on fire. "And dat, dat bees" she said, pointing at Glug Glug.
Using her knees, she began to guide Bull away from the pile of horse flesh and over to the ramp leading up to the boat. "And dis, dis Bull."
The goat simply rolled his eyes.