Big Honking Heros - Game thread (Inactive)

Game Master scranford

I plan to continue to follow the old man unless the Tritons get in my way. As they're evil too, I have no compunction in smiting them along the way.

As the old woman and the young couple intervene, a knowing smile crosses Sir Corvus' lips. "Of course," he says to them. "You must be overwhelmed with being this close to a living legend. You've probably heard many stories about me? Or a bard's song? Or even seen a statue or painting somewhere?"

"Never mind that. Underneath all of the dashing good looks, the awesome bravery, the faultless swordplay and the genuine wish to avoid the limelight, there beats the heart of an ordinary man. Well, the heart of an ordinary hero. Well, OK, something of an extraordinary hero." He grins bashfully. "We all have our crosses to bear."

"Anyway, you good people stand back and leave this sort of thing to the professionals. My trusty band of adventurers will be following me any minute now and I wouldn't want you trampled in the rush. They can be a little boisterous at times. Bless them. They think the world of me you know - but then, who can blame them."

With a flashing smile, Sir Corvus gives the trio a little wave and heads after the old man.

As you enter the alley you can see that it apparently dead ends about 20 feet to your right, then extends about 100 feet to the left opening onto a street. About 30' down the alley to the left you see the two Tritons come to a stumbling stop. About 50' down the alley, you see the old man rise to his feet from a kneeling position and point at the two Tritons. Whatever he had been kneeling beside begins to move, and rise to its feet. It is a large reeking mound of something (Knowledge Religion if you have it).

Delwyn smashes the young boy flat as a pancake, as he viciously slams the table atop him (20% miss chance = 50), despite the Captains best efforts...the table breaking apart with the impact. He then foolishly takes the table leg in his hand, and whacks himself in the head with it (5 pts damage)(20% miss chance = 08...so despite taking the time to hold the table leg in both hands, and bring it firmly to his head he sees his partial reflection in a square of broken glass, and hits himself in the shoulder instead making the damage non-lethal.

Cronus bites at the big beetle before it retreats (20% miss chance = 12 so he misses the beetle, biting a hat rack instead. A Paisley colored bowler falls off the hat rack and lands squarely on his head where it is held by jelly donut matted fur. He then lopes into the street after the retreating beetles. As he clears the fog, he sees one of the peacock feathered hat members of the Ward Dock, and tries to bite him. (Roll standard bite attack -2 for the hat cocked down around 1 eye)

The captain grabs hold of the table to stop the gnome from pummeling the boy, but underestimates the gnome's strength, and looses his grip on the table, watching in horror, as the boy is smashed flat by the splintering table. He is then overcome with rage, and draws his weapon to attack the nearest target. (The strange looking half orc pointing at you and accusing you of something, and Delwyn whom just crushed a juvenile delinquent, have an equal opportunity of drawing your ire. Isn't the confusion spell fun

Princess Eve from her perch above the general mayhem, takes a moment to move in a provocative way making her triceps and calf muscles flex and bulge in a most fascinating display...hears from the street "Out of our way"! "Do you not see whose business we are on"...said with a very strong accent".

"I don't care whose business you're on, you can't just ride around destroying the citizens, and...hey get your beast off of me...ouch ouch ouch".

Another deeper voice of authority then speaks "Let them be you fools". "Look at the symbol they bear".

Then you see movement as several figures begin to appear from the fog.

Eve...You still have action this round.

"This is mess! Who made mess? You?" he says as he points to Captain Geoff.

Geoff turns towards the newcomer. "I'm sorry good sir, but I'm rather preoccupied trying to prevent this child's untimely en-OH BLOODY HELL!", yells Geoff as the table slips from his grasp and turns the child into a rather unsightly paste. "No!" He turns to the half-orc, rage burning in his eyes. "You! You distracted me! This child's bloody entrails are on you hands, knave! Now have at thee!" Geoff rushes towards the half-orc and stabs his fine rapier at him.

1d20 + 7 ⇒ (17) + 7 = 241d6 - 1 ⇒ (1) - 1 = 0

"Ha Haaaaaaaaaoooooh f%^&.", says Geoff as his blade fails to pierce his dread foe's think hide.

I've been waiting the whole game for that.

Sir Corvus hails the old man. "I give you fair warning," he shouts, "when Sir Corvus Cornix is on your trail, you may as well give up. I've never failed to smite evil yet."

Sir Corvus looks at the ground a little shiftily. "Well," he says in a much lower voice, "perhaps not 'never.'"

Sir Corvus raises his voice again. "Give up evil sir, when Sir Corvus Cornix is on your trail, you stand nary a chance. I've rarely failed to smite evil when I set my mind on it."

Again a slightly guilty look crosses his face. He mumbles to himself. "Of course there was that time with the abbot and the kobold. And that unfortunate incident with the potted plant and the orc princess." He clears his throat.

Sir Corvus shouts once more. "Give up you evil brigand. Sir Corvus Cornix is on your trail, and you stand no more than a fifty-fifty chance of escape. I've often smited evil."

His voice trails off. "Is it smited? Or smote? Smoted? No, probably smote." He looks around absently. "Where the dickens is Corbie? He'd know for sure." He squints down the alley. "And he'd probably know what that large shape that appears to be dragging itself off the alley floor was."

Sir Corvus opens the pouch on his belt and takes out a small silver bell. He rings it and looks around expectantly. "Where is that blasted manservant when you really need him. I could look a real fool if anyone suspected I didn't know the past participle of 'smite'."

Harktom the Sturdy wrote:

"This is mess! Who made mess? You?" he says as he points to Captain Geoff.

Geoff turns towards the newcomer. "I'm sorry good sir, but I'm rather preoccupied trying to prevent this child's untimely en-OH BLOODY HELL!", yells Geoff as the table slips from his grasp and turns the child into a rather unsightly paste. "No!" He turns to the half-orc, rage burning in his eyes. "You! You distracted me! This child's bloody entrails are on you hands, knave! Now have at thee!" Geoff rushes towards the half-orc and stabs his fine rapier at him.

1d20+7;1d6-1

"Ha Haaaaaaaaaoooooh f%^&.", says Geoff as his blade fails to pierce his dread foe's think hide.

I've been waiting the whole game for that.

by the way you always do at least 1-point of damage on a successful hit, unless it's against DR, so you did bleed him a bit

You see a strange looking half-orc emerge from under a rather large beer sign. He's still chewing on something which seems to be wood since there's splinters falling from the corners of his mouth.

"WHOT HAPPEN? WHO HURT HARKTOM?"

When done shouting like a baby Harktom calms down a bit and grabs a huge Falchion that's strapped on his back.

"This is mess! Who made mess? You?" he says as he points to Captain Geoff.

Don't forget to calculate your CMB and CMD.

Sir Corvus hails the old man. "I give you fair warning," he shouts, "when Sir Corvus Cornix is on your trail, you may as well give up. I've never failed to smite evil yet."

Sir Corvus looks at the ground a little shiftily. "Well," he says in a much lower voice, "perhaps not 'never.'"

Sir Corvus raises his voice again. "Give up evil sir, when Sir Corvus Cornix is on your trail, you stand nary a chance. I've rarely failed to smite evil when I set my mind on it."

Again a slightly guilty look crosses his face. He mumbles to himself. "Of course there was that time with the abbot and the kobold. And that unfortunate incident with the potted plant and the orc princess." He clears his throat.

Sir Corvus shouts once more. "Give up you evil brigand. Sir Corvus Cornix is on your trail, and you stand no more than a fifty-fifty chance of escape. I've often smited evil."

His voice trails off. "Is it smited? Or smote? Smoted? No, probably smote." He looks around absently. "Where the dickens is Corbie? He'd know for sure." He squints down the alley. "And he'd probably know what that large shape that appears to be dragging itself off the alley floor was."

Sir Corvus opens the pouch on his belt and takes out a small silver bell. He rings it and looks around expectantly. "Where is that blasted manservant when you really need him. I could look a real fool if anyone suspected I didn't know the past participle of 'smite'."

Corbie uncannily appears right beside Sir Corvus, as soon as he begins ringing the bell, impeccably dressed, and without a hair out of place despite the chaos. "You rang"? "Sir"

"Ooooooh no hurt Harktom! YOU STOP HURT NOW! BE NICE!!!

Harktom is somehow using his mean looks combined with pathetic pleading to intimidate the captain and stop the stabbing.

Intimidate vs DC 10+1(Hit Dice)-1(Will modifier) 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (18) + 9 = 27
minutes 1d6 x 10 minutes 1d6 ⇒ 1

"Corbie. What took you so long? Anyway, I have an urgent need of information. Smite. What do you say when it's in the past?"

Corbie smiles politely. "Smite Sir? To inflict a heavy blow on, with or as if with the hand, a tool, or a weapon. To drive or strike a weapon, for example forcefully onto or into something else? To attack, damage, or destroy by or as if by blows?" He speaks in a somewhat squeaky voice.

"Yes man, of course. Hurry, it's important."

"Then it's smote Sir. As in, 'I smote evil.'"

Sir Corvus looks down the alley once more. Raising his voice, he hollers, "Just to confirm, I've often smote evil."

He lowers his voice again. "I do hope that faux pas doesn't go against me. Oh, and Corbie, what is that large shape next to that old gentleman farther down the alley?"

Corbie takes a quick glance down the alley. "If you mean the shape that is coming in this direction, I am sorry to say I have no idea Sir. My humble apologies."

"Never mind Corbie, you helped with the most important part. I'll take it from here."

"Cronus!" shouts Eve, and she follows with a sharp whistle, "you know better than to bite random strangers! Lets go, we have a villain to undo!"

The bear grumbles, but follows Eve as heads off after the paladin.

"Cronus!" shouts Eve, and she follows with a sharp whistle, "you know better than to bite random strangers! Lets go, we have a villain to undo!"

The bear grumbles, but follows Eve as heads off after the paladin.

Not so fast. Cronus is under the confusion spell just like Delwyn, and the captain. I'll post later, to see what Cronus does (Que evil laugh)

"Aaaahh ... A bug ... A bug on my face ..."

"Aargh ... Uhuh-huh-huh ..."

Wow ... failing your save on this spell ... is really bad :P

Whew! Thank goodness I've learned to copy and paste before hitting the submit post button.

Sir Corvus - Saves vs. Bad Grammar, and converses with Corbie (Move action remaining)

Corbie - Looks unruffled, and answers questions to best of his knowledge and ability (Standard action left)

Delwyn Bludgeons self with table leg and Round six -keeps trying to kill the bugs crawling on his face

City guards Those of you still in the room here an electric zapping sound, and a slump of something heavy to the ground. Then a group of the tall Peacock feathered Dock Wardens enter the room through the fog with their zap Forks held at ready. They are led by a tall dark skinned man with mottled burn scars on his arms and face. "Here, Here" Drop your weapons in the name of the Dock Wardens"! "Everyone...Nobody...Don't move"!

The Captain Attacks the strange looking half-orc emerging from the debris, entirely convinced he is the enemy Round six - he feels mollified that he might have attacked the creature at random, and reverses the rapier to attempt to stab himself. (He's still trying to figure out how to hold it to best affect a fatal wound)

TritonsSince all but two of these guys has fled aboard the wagon, and three of them lay sleeping in the rubble...The two Tritons chasing the old man down the alley are drawn up short by a large shape emerging from the ally. One of them tries to slip by, but is brought up short by an appendage emerging from the mass. The other sticks the thing with his Trident, and scores a solid hit...but seems to be having trouble withdrawing his weapon from the mass.

Princess Eve Need to roll an attack roll for Cronus vs. the Dock Warden. Then need to roll a handle animal check at (-5),Cronus is confused and craving salmon, as well as being injured, to get him to obey The Princess then assuming her faithful companion will follow her begins to pick her way through the debris towards the back of the place.

Cronus Slumps to the ground as two of the wardens poke him with their Zap Forks. He sits back on his haunches, shakes his head a bit...dislodging the paisley bowler, then stretches out (Atop the guard he just bit), an seemingly decides it it time to nap after dinner.

The Old Man Disappears around the corner to the right, at the end of the alley.

Harktomgrowls in disgust at the puny human trying to stick him with that long toothpick, then draws up to make himself appear as intimidating as he can, and shaking a long knobby finger at the obvious sea dweller chastises him. Diplomacy, bluff, and intimidate checks will not work on player controlled characters...except if they choose to act on these attempts You still have a move action remaining.

Unidentified Foul Beast in alleySends out an appendage from his roughly humanoid body, and wraps up one of the Tritons in his grasp, slowly lifting him off the ground. One eye opens up, and views the other Triton, trying to pull his Trident from his disgusting looking body mass, and a long tongue reaches out from the mass, and licks the other Triton on the face.

Round six (Except for the remaining actions this round)
Sir Corvis
Corbie
Delwyn
Dock Wardens
The Captain
Tritons
Princess Eve
Cronus
The Old Man
Harktom
UFC (Unidentified fighting creature)

Sir Corvus will endeavour to follow the old man. But before he sets off, he'll check his hair to make sure every strand is in place.

Sir Corvus will pursue the evil old man and will give the foul beast a wide berth. If he can't avoid it, he'll engage it in conversation rather than attack it.

Geoff suddenly looks mollified. "I'm sorry good sir, I really have no idea what inspired me to attempt to kill you. Willing to forgive me old chap?" He then looks askance at his rapier. "Wait one moment old chum, I need to investigate something. Is this blade even sharp? I don't quite remember for certain. Well, only one way to find out!" Geoff changes his grip and plunges his blade at his torso.

1d20 + 7 ⇒ (16) + 7 = 231d6 - 1 ⇒ (4) - 1 = 3

The man grunts and stumbles back a few steps as he pulls his blade back out. "Yes, I do believe it does work. Still, I do believe I did not think this through."

Delwyn looks around, if he sees anyone who might be able to help, he yells at them, asking for their aid.

"You there .. help me .. get the bugs .. of my .. FACE .. AARGH!"

Handle Animal: 1d20 - 5 ⇒ (6) - 5 = 1

Handle Animal: 1d20-5

Don't forget Cronus attack. This was from last round, and the confusion spell. Also you've got a +3 to handle animal, so your roll should be 1d20-2 not 1d20-5 ;).

Harktom's mouth is wide open in confusion. not Confusion

"You strange man... oooh guards are here! GUARDS ARE HERE! BAD GUYS ARE OUTSIDE!"

The confusion is too much for Harktom so he moves toward the backdoor.

Oh er, I rolled Wild Empathy didn't I? Eh, a 4's not much better than a 1... Bite 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (13) + 3 = 16 1d4 + 4 ⇒ (4) + 4 = 8

"Cronus, no! Bad! Dammit you're as smart as a person, shake it off!"

Handle Animal: 1d20 - 2 ⇒ (11) - 2 = 9

sorry for the delay in posting an update. I won't be able to post till tomorrow evening.

UPDATE: Again I apologize for the delays. Work has been insane this week. Finally had time to post last night, but the site was down...just my luck. I've got a real Table top game tonight, but should have time to post next actions Friday. We are basically out of combat, but I need to let you guys know what is happening so we can really get into the story.

NOTE: It is unusual I don't have time to post, so hopefully we'll be able to pick up the pace.

NOTE: It is unusual I don't have time to post, so hopefully we'll be able to pick up the pace.

No worries ... real life pops up his head from time to time.

"Uh, hello? Anyone out there? It seems that it's getting rather quiet in here."

"Uh, hello? Anyone out there? It seems that it's getting rather quiet in here."

Still here. On a long road trip, then things settle down for a while until the first week of March, then things should return to normal. Sorry about the slow posting. As I stated normally I have a lot of time to post, but of course I start a game and things go crazy. We're getting ready to start the "meat" of the game, so expect a post...probably on Friday or maybe if things go right Thursday night, and we should get things rolling again. Thanks for your paticense and I apologize again.

We'll wait ... no problem ... I think most of us have more PbP games running :)

-TDL