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I need to hear some nice game stories - so I'm looking for a different kind of thread. No complaints, no flames, no downers... just something funny that happened in your lastest game.
To many posts on the board that are just ... well... complaints, or flames, or downers (yeah, I guess I'm complaining...)
Spoiler it if you need to.
Let's see if we can laugh some...

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While playing The Dalsine Affair, my paladin killed the BBEG by breaking a chair over the back of his head.
In The Frozen Fingers of Midnight, my Halfling ninja made a 30 on his Bluff check to convince one of the barbarian thugs that I represented the Lollipop Guild, and needed to speak to his boss about a business proposition. He was very excited at the prospect.

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If Doug-Doug were here, he has a great story about Rescue at Azlant Ridge. :D

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Went to a convention, had a blast.
My Roguey druid was smart enough not to eat, so was the party oracle. The rest of the group was passed out. Druid sent his velociraptor pet back to base, where it promptly ate its own weight in food during the adventure.
The players had fun going along with the chants. "all hail razmir..." we had the barbarian saying "all hail RazmirAN... just to get him in trouble"
We were set to copying holy books, something the barbarian was having trouble doing. I had a few extra, so I tried to slip him a few extra of mine, got caught and put in a torture device.
We explored the pit with the giant snake. It made its save vs charm animal. The barbarian whacked it and almost killed it. It decided to listen to the druid after that, we healed it up and kept feeding it. It even went down the tunnel for us and snagged some of its treasure and threw it up at our feet.
I got a tengu boon, and had a character and mini ready to go for it. He's an archer inquisitor, got stuck meat shielding for the party with a two handed sword, and promptly spent half the adventure at 1 hit point.
He got swallowed by a giant frog ... and pecked his way out , bursting through the thing and killing it. He was whoozy enough to start babbling about not wanting to hatch from his egg yet.

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An Aspis consortium member tries to escape from us by climbing up a ladder. We send a huge constrictor snake to chase him a few rounds later. Little did he know a huge ape animal companion is also climbing (and squeezing) down the ladder. Aspis tries to “Bullrush” through the ape (yuck!), fails miserably, and he gets crushed horribly to death between the apes butt cheeks and bitten in the ass by the snake. What a horrible way to die. That image will be burned into my brain for awhile. Lol.
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We had an extremely fat and overweight Cheliax player fall and try to (unsuccessfully) bite the ears off an opponent for a faction mission before another player killed her after being half-naked and greased up like a pig with oil and vasoline. Don't ask. That doesn't even include the rant of why the Paracountess wanted them; to wear like a freak at some ball or party. lol.

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We had an extremely fat and overweight Cheliax player fall and try to (unsuccessfully) bite the ears off an opponent for a faction mission before another player killed her after being half-naked and greased up like a pig with oil and vasoline. Don't ask. That doesn't even include the rant of why the Paracountess wanted them; to wear like a freak at some ball or party. lol.
Oh Please tell me you meant characters, not players! ;D

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My very charismatic bard has had some fun with stupid npcs. He once convinced a band of pirates that they didn't fill out the proper paperwork and need their ship inspected or we would impound it. He is also notorious for using fascinate/suggestion to get bands of thugs to support their local tavern by getting a drink and leave the party alone.

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In one scenario, the barbarian with us ran back up the greased stairs we had just come down as our party struggled with the BBEG. Moments later he came flying back down the stairs riding an upside down table. He knocked over and put down our cleric unfortunately, but managed to knock the BBEG prone.

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Casting Raise Thread:
In the final ambush, in the ally. My PC was a halfling rogue with the feat Childlike (yeah, the classic little girl with a dolly named Mrs. Petterson - live with it).
She scrambles up a wall to the building roof and looks down into the fight.
"Oh, gee - I'm 'home alone' - whatever will we do Mrs. Petterson? HA! any brink around here? or cans of paint?"
I got to spend 5 or 6 rounds taunting the BBE, shot a sling at them, dodge a thrown dagger, ran a bluff about seeing the cops comming ("you are SO in trouble! You just wait till I tell my Mommy!"), ending with the comment that if I "was a little boy, I've pee-pee on you! What are you looking at you pervert?!".
I think I am very much going to like this character...

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My bard once tortured a tiefling by tying him to a chair and then leaning him over a fire.
"Alright buddy, here's how this works. A fire does 1d6 points of damage a round, and you have fire resistance 5. It's not going to kill you quick, some rounds it might not even hurt you, but eventually, painfully, you're going to burn to death unless you tell me everything I want to know."
In the same game, our halfling Mwangi slave trader (Chelish) kept dealing nonlethal damage to foes, binding their hands, and then pulling out his branding iron and marking his new property. By the end, he had five or so Aspis agents hog tied by the entrance. "Just doing my day job, guys."
Now that I think about it, we were a pretty wicked group :P

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1)
I lolled.
2) A buddy of mine once converted the general plot outline of Murder on the Throary Mermaid into a night of gaming for my Star Wars Saga Edition group. Lots of fun.
3)
4)
My character still is unaware of what the bard said, however, my barbarian has now purchased an empty beer bottle for 50gp for use as a Masterwork Tool for Intimidate, lol.

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The party is in a moral Dilema. The Chaotic Good, Andoran inquisitor of Calden Cailiean (Corvus) is advocating that the person either has to be let go , or come back to the pathfinder society of their own free will to be studied.
Morally Questionable Necromancer: "Why don't you use that phylactery of faithfullness we found and see what your god thinks of this?"
Corvus: *places phylactery to head* OW... I'm associating with a necromancer, OW i'm associating with a necromancer, OW....
______
During the same conversation
Morally Questionable Necromancer: She is OK now, but she might go evil at some point in the future.
Corvus: Ya know, if i was going to run around shooting POTENTIALLY evil people...
Morally Questionable Necromancer: ... that is a fair point.

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I didn't see where it came from, but I shot back, passed the 50% miss chance, and crit with my crossbow bolt. I shouted back into the trees, "Surrender unless you want another!", and unexpectedly she did. I questioned her, and with a good Diplomacy check converted her to the church of Sarenrae.
GM told me after the game my crit had taken her to 1 HP.
I was being so insistent on opening up trade that the rest of my party thought that opening up trade was my faction mission. It wasn't. I had actually completed my faction mission way back at the start of the adventure. Opening up trade was just something I wanted to do in-character.

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In the Orphanage, another PC breaks out drums and starts entertaining the kids. Old Lady comes down complaining about the racket and making too much noise. PC with devil hugs the sack with Todd in it and announces, "Todd, you're perfect just the way you are. You'll never make too much noise."

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Had another good session of Sewer Dragons yesterday. When the party reached the final encounter, the most experienced player in the group (with a level 5 ranger) says "Oh my God, we are gonna die."
I dont remember which session it was, but a table of 3 players managed to defeat the bbeg and offered to let her live. The GM roleplayed the bbeg so well that she ended up crosstalking the PCs into surrendering to the bbeg. She wasnt sure how to handle the situation as far as Fame, XP, and Gold go. After discussing it with her, we agreed they should get 1 xp, 1 fame (since they hadnt completed the main mission, since they let the beeg go), and none of the gold from the beeg fight, since they didnt get her loot. :P

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In Our Lady of Silver, our party was informed that we were accused of murder, arson, robbery, impersonating a public official, and desecrating a tomb. In unison, half the table responds: "We didn't desecrate no tombs."
Needless to say, our legal defense could have gone substantially better than it did.

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I shared this with the guys and ladies on the florida pfs site so i copied and pasted here to share with you guys too! The game was run on June 16th. Its the little things that players do that make it worth DMing :) Enjoy.
I wanted to share this bit of joy from last nights first time Dming here in Jacksonville. I had a full table and i am running Shipyard Rats. The party wipes out the Druid by falling through the roof and landing on top of him. Not a bad start. The Gunslinger critcal hits and does full dmg. End of combat. While rescuing some of the hostages soon to be slaves in the tavern. The rogue starts taking as many beers as he can fit into his empty backpack. To which we all laugh and ask why? His reply is: Why not? Its Beer.
So fast forward a critcal hit and another round of butt whooping they make it to the Slave ship The Prancing Prince. They have a great fight with the orc monks on board. While the party is freeing the slaves/prisoners The rogue is playing lookout by the gang plank shore side. This is what my player shows me written on his laptop screen. *As the prisoners cross the gang plank I hand them a beer and say this "Thank you for Traveling with the Prancing Prince. We realize you have a choice in Slave Vessels, and we Thank you for Choosing us" I about died from laughter.
I hope this brings a smile to your face.

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casting Raise Thread
needed something funny today - so I went back and read some older posts - which reminded me of this weeks game...
My wife runs a Pregnant Cleric (she says sh is about 6 months along and that explains the DEX of 8) - and at the start of the fight in the market her first action is to Cast Bless. We had been trying to NOT start the fight, practicing non-aggression etc. and it seemed like a non-threatening spell to her... but the Aspes Agent cast the Pit spell on her. She rolled a nat 20 and avoided it (her Reflex was +2 or something).
She responded by blinding him, and someone else hit him with a 1 minute deafened effect - and things went down hill from there for him... anyway, after the fight, the A.A. is trying to talk his way out of being captured, saying we should remove the blindness and free him 'cause we had "started it". My PC responds that not only had one of his guards drawn the first weapon (and first blood) HE had tried to throw a pregnant lady in a PIT! This got the (in character) response of "She was Pregnant? I thought she was just fat!"
"wow dude, I think your chances of getting that blindness turned off just went down."

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Another really funny part of that adventure?
we had the strangest party mix.
* Our "Face" PC was a 2HW (Greatsword) fighter - he had the best Diplomacy and Intimidate in the group. (Picture a surf dude here).
* Our Bomb-throwing Alchemist disarmed one of the enemy thugs (before weapons were drawn) with a readied action... this is a skinny, strenght 10 elf with no combat training (just a good die roll).
* The Pregnant cleric charges and grapples and ties up the enemy boss (who had been blinded, deafened and whacked to 1/2 hit points).
and all this in the first fight.

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We were playing first steps part one and we had to visit the Paracountess. It would be safe to say that no one at the table was a big Cheliax supporter or was going to be. So we had a bit of fun with the Paracountess, poking fun at her and trying to get under her skin. Well someone at the table said something to her that even made her a bit sick and the GM rolepalying her made the "I just trew up a bit in my mouth" jester. When she did that the Witch in the group said "Why, Paracountess, I'm bit disappointed I thought you got rid of that reflex long ago"
I think I laughed for the rest of that mission. It was good stuff.

Jason Wu |

Moved from the "con stories" thread.
Playing waay too far up in a dungeon crawl in season 0 or 1, can't remember, facing off against a boss + minions probably six levels higher than my grapple specialist PC. The boss apparently had a listed tactic to grab a PC and use a nearby magical artifact thingy to teleport with the PC to another room, drop them, and teleport back.
Well, my PC being a brave fool charged the boss, and managed to evade/avoid all the first round return attacks. Which frustrated him enough to decide to choose me as the teleport victim in the next round.
The GM pulled me aside to run what happened to me, and after a few dice rolls the GM went back to the table to run the rest of the combat while I went to get a drink since I was out of the fight.
A few rounds later when the party was mopping up the minions, worried about their missing teammate, my PC walked back in. Carrying the unconcious boss over his shoulder, with a big smirk on his face.
What the party had not seen was me succeeding in a series of rolls to grapple, pin, and choke the boss til he went limp.
:)
-j

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At a recent game of
our group got caught up in a couple of hours of roleplaying and investigation. By the time we found the cult, we had forgotten what our actual mission was. Apparently it was NOT to kill all the cultists. Long story short, while playing up, we fought all the bad guys together at once. We only survived because of a well-placed shirt reroll from the GM that kept my monk alive long enough to drink a potion of fly, so I could get up in the air and grapple the vampire sorceress to death.

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Another really funny part of that adventure?
we had the strangest party mix.
This was a fun one to run. Highly improbable events happening all over the place.
* Our "Face" PC was a 2HW (Greatsword) fighter - he had the best Diplomacy and Intimidate in the group. (Picture a surf dude here).
* Our Bomb-throwing Alchemist disarmed one of the enemy thugs (before weapons were drawn) with a readied action... this is a skinny, strenght 10 elf with no combat training (just a good die roll).
* The Pregnant cleric charges and grapples and ties up the enemy boss (who had been blinded, deafened and whacked to 1/2 hit points).and all this in the first fight.
The pregnant cleric also rolled a 2 initiative during the haunt manifestation and decided to take a folio re-roll. Wound up with a ... 2. ha! Followed next round by being critically bitten by the quickwood for over 80% of her hit points.
Ok, that last part was not really funny. :)

hotsauceman |
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Blakros MAtrimony and frost fur captives
But the best was this. Frostfur Captives. We ticked off the boat troll and killed him. Apprently that is a NO NO. After that we see the Dollhouse. Suddenly we all run scared from the dollhouse. As the GM said "Even seasoned Pathfinders will run from even a regular doll"

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Well, lets see.... not so much stories as snippets.
I've had an elf make love to a VC's half orc enchantress (free love and all that)
My gnome bard has carried the day in Murder on the Throaty Mermaid, using his small small rapier to prick a fighter into unconsciousness while standing over the bodies of his fallen companions. Victory sometimes comes from enthusiasm and being hard to hit!
I have a dwarf monk of low self esteem who often serves as a mount for small wizards and rogues. You want to be in the front lines on the first round of combat? Call air Nbarg!

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Tonight, we had a rogue do something rather improbable (granted, its a gnome...). We get to the end of the scenario, only to find the bad guys outside. Some of the party bails out the window, while the rogue goes to bail out another window to get past the line of people waiting. Said rogue tries to jump out a window, with a running start. GM gives it a DC 5 str check to bust out the window and land in the courtyard. The rogue fails. Everyone in the courtyard suddenly sees a gnome slam face-first into a window, then slowly slide down it. The next round, the rogue stabs the window, doesn't break it. One more round, and the window *does* break. The rogue jumps out the window...and fails the acrobatics check, takes a full 6 damage from the fall, and is now unconscious.
The rogue's player left that d20 hiding in a corner. He doesn't want it anymore...

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In a similar vein to Alexander's tale, during the game earlier, my players had run into a crazy sorcerer, and failed to identify him, very low rolls. The Wizard players had, for most of the game, had issues getting any of his d20s to roll above a 5.
Well, they manage to defeat the sorcerer, and, after waking him up and questioning him, he admits his name, which prompts another Local roll to see if that spurs any memories. The Wizard player, yet again rolls low and thinks he failed because he only got a 13. I actually had to ask him what he got before he admitted it, because it was under 15. Turns out, for that NPC, that a 13 was what was needed.
Hopefully, between that, and an earlier encounter where the their opponents only had a CMD of 5, they will remember to stop assuming that low rolls are necessarily failures. With a CMD of 5, these opponents were easy to grapple, even for the Wizard, and, since none of the PCs were small, maintaining the grapple just required rolling over a 1 on 2d20.
Amazing how that makes an AC of 13 seem significantly tougher. And, with a set of failed knowledge rolls, no one knew their DR, SR or much of anything about them except what they found by experience. And not even the other GMs had ever seen them before. Fog of war, nice when you can get it.
Gremlins bouncing around the room, speaking in languages no one in the party knew, swearing at them incomprehensibly. Not able to actually damage the PCs, but I think everyone enjoyed that combat, when everything was done.

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We started off one scenario in a bait shop, and my Tengu asked to purchase a tub of worms to snack on. GM let me get some for 3cp, and we were on our way.
Fast forward to a mountain cave where our fighter in full plate woke up a sleeping manticore. The manticore was visibly upset, and as he was standing up he asked us if we could give him one reason why he shouldn't have us for breakfast...
"I am not good for eating, I have worms".
I then proceeded to convince the manticore that we could find him some juicy deer to eat instead, and he let us on our way =D

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Posted this on a different thread some time ago, but it should be here...
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Party is about to jump into the final fight.
The Dwarven cleric, wanting to try out the new spell IronBeard, gets the druid to let him cast it on her AC - a Large T-Rex. So they burst in on the BBE and rushing into melee is a Bearded T-Rex. To make it worse - the Sorcerer in the party hits the (non-humaniod) BBE with a Hidious Laughter, and we have the following....
Judges discription went something like this - "As the doors burst open and a Large figure rushing into the room, (insert BBE name) whips around ready to respond to the thread - only to catch sight of the animal companion and collapse into gales of laughter. Hand clutching his sides the rocks back and forth, drumming his heels on the floor. Every few seconds he draws a breath - only to catch sight of the bearded lizard again and erupt all over again in giggles."
Needless to say - the fight went well for the PC's. The BBE missed the second save and it was all over from there....
I do think the AC was a little hurt by the reaction to his charge though. It was kind of a Toy Story moment

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In the Last PFS Game I played in, we were investigating some attacks on PFS members, and one of the witnesses was a Halfling owner of a Magic shop. Said shopkeeper was vary proud of some "Ever-Spinning-Tops" that he was selling for 1gp, so my Wizard Bought one. Later when we needed info from a Seller of ancient antiques, My wizard able to trade for said info, by offering an Ever-Spinning-Top that belonged to a Powerful wizard, named Sidhott Sidskegg. When the DM asked for a Bluff check, I said it wasn't a lie, Sidhott Sidskegg is an Alias, my wizard uses, it means Broad Hat Long Beard. The Players and DM were laughing so much by the whole thing that the DM gave me the Info.

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Rise of the Goblin guild:
The party caught the Goblin
Barbarian: We should kill her! She tried to steal something just because someone told her to!
Corvus, Tengu inquisitor "So what was your faction mission this time?"
Barbarian ..... dammit.
While giving her a tour of the compound
Goblin: This mattress is soft!
Corvus: Its stuffed with my own feathers.
Dm: Bluff check...
Me: Why?

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Blind oracle points crossbow at foes.
Tiefling fighter introduces/describes herself: You hear several kittens meowing from her backpack.
Other Player: Where did you get kittens.
Tiefling: They're iron rations.
Black Waters:
Coyote: Like Pathfinders do with all the tombs they enter?
Godsmarket Gamble
Marv(Comforting a distressed Rialla Barleyhusk): It is okay, not that he died, but you are alive. I will help you. Here is coupon to Marv's BBQ resturaunt. You can eat all that you want.
RB: But I'm vegitarian!
Marv: I can cure that affliction.
(Later in scenario)
Me:Can I use profession: BBQ Chef to put help out the fires, after all managing flame is all about BBQ.
(Look in GM's face as she considers)

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The Andorans of the party were trying to do their faction mission (I has the only character that wasn't Andoran, dwarf urban druid with 5 charisma) where they had to spread propaganda or something like that. Well, it didn't go so hot and the guards ended up coming to check out what the disturbance was. The Andorans, not being a very charismatic bunch, couldn't convince the guards that nothing was a matter, so they resisted arrest.
Meanwhile, I was like 200+ feet away in the crowd just minding my own business. A fight broke out, and I decided to not even join at the last second, just casually strolling by the scene until it looked like they were going to win. My druid, being kind of a jerk and not liking anyone, gave them a lot of grief afterwards for that encounter.
Later, we had the dude we had to find who was dead (or something, it was a while ago) and there's a cleric there with some lepers around where the guy's body is. The GM made us sense motive, which happens to be my character's best skill. I sense that the dude is outright lying twice about "being the cleric who would send his body to Pharasma" or something and end up attacking even though no one else knew anything was wrong and were content just coming back later. The other characters started to kind of feel bad and and were trying to knock out the lepers with nonlethal while I'm full out just flaming sphere all over the place, burning lepers to the ground. Was quite a hilarious scene. The other players still kind of felt bad about the lepers, but my character didn't care at all (he doesn't really care about anybody).
Later, we were traveling with a water merchant, and I, because my character doesn't care, just started casting Create Water in front of him. The water merchant was just kind of...sad...after that.
And then my urban druid died to harpies...oh wait that wasn't supposed to be part of the story....

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My Halfling Ninja participated in a very social heavy mod where we had to dress up and any weapons were peace bonded. Rather than peace bond her weapons she bought a pair of small, thin daggers and used them to pin her hair up. When things went bad (as they inevitably do) and her companions were all wasting a round unbinding their weapons, she pounced (figuratively) on one of the goons and insta-killed him with her hair pins.
I missed out on getting the BBEG only because he teleported away.
The Citadel of Flame
The Frostfur Captives

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I once ran a game of Citadel of Flame where the group knocked out an enemy, then woke him up and started questioning him. The NPC rolled well enough on his bluff check that he convinced the characters (and players) that he would join their side if they let him go. Come boss fight...