Chuffy takes out a cage with a spider, puts it near lots of small spiders.
"Stankrush! You tell your family to behave! Sting and bite bad, go away and eat bugs good! Yes-yes!"
Poor run away, and Chuffy try to teach spiders manners. Spiders not impressed.
---
Reta
Mogmurch
Chuffy
Poog
---
Vorka - KO
Lots lots spiders (1)
---
Mogs going to follow poog. To much blackies. No more bombs. I'm out of here.
Mog has make like a tree, just like Poog. They safe of spiders. Reta and Chuffy, not so much. Spiders all move to Vorka, and Chuffy and Reta stand in way. And now stand under many, many spiders!
---
Reta
Mogmurch
Chuffy
Poog
---
Vorka - Dead, being eaten.
Lots lots spiders (1)
---
Ouch! Longlegs crawl over Reta and bite and bite! Reta quickly fends off the poison and sickness. She backs away from the spiders and breathes fire on the spiders. "Hmph, longlegs and Vorka goblin eater together at last!"
Reta breathe fire! It much better than fireworks, and it make all spiders disappear. And it make Vorka black and crispy.
"Ouch! Stupid little crawlers! You be dead now!" Chuffy showed his tongue to the lots of dead spiders, after that he started looking around the room with a grin.
"Loot! Treasures! Fireworks! We search it! Yes-yes!"
Reta helps with the search.
The ship is full of long-shank items. All of these items (broken and functional alike) are strangely decorative, depicting colorful serpentine dragons, towering cliffs, delicate humanoid figures, and strange pagodas—not that a goblin would know a pagoda from a tool shed.
There little wooden boxes, and a fan, what Vorka used to scribble map. Much like scribble face map. Would scribble face be around somewhere?
There also a red chest. It not locked, an it full of fireworks!
After spider bites stop stinging ... Poog return to room with Vorka and peek in. No see spiders, Poog step back in room as Chuffy and Reta find fireworks ...
"Ooooo nice! We take back to Chief now?"
"What about upper room? I was going to look, but then Vorka and cute frog tried to eat you Poog!"
Reta chugs the potion of cure light wounds, then grabs some of the pretty fireworks.
"Yeeees! We search last room and we maybe make big fire on boat? And then take fireworks to chief."
Chuffy grinned. Then he noticed Reta drinking potion.
"Mmm! Me thirsty too!"
and he drinks his own potion.
"Ok ... maybe more fire in other room. We look. Make big fire whole boat, then go back to chief."
Poog will go with Reta and Chuffy to the other room.
"Who want open Reta's door?"
"Me will open door!" Reta volunteers. She waits for everyone to catch up before opening the upper deck door.
"Me right behind you!"
Chuffy walks to the door and puts an ear to it.
Mogs gona stand 20 feet away from the door silently drinking a cure light:
Chuffy put ear on door, and hear dog. Reta then open door and see a blood-splattered chamber of horror. Dead rodents, snakes, and birds have been variously nailed, tied, and hung around the walls. At the far end of the room, a large cauldron bubbles over an iron stove set against the aft wall, its stovepipe chimney extending up through the ceiling. A bloody burlap sack sits on the floor next to the stove. The center of the room contains a long, rickety table surrounded by chairs that contain several grisly decorations—a whole family of skeletal goblins, their bones bleached white and bound together by reeds and twine.
There be big, big dog as well. It reek the dog-hate on Reta, but goblins surprise the dog!
--- Surprise round - 1 move or standard only --
Dog - surprised
---
Mog
Reta
Chuffy
Poog
---
---
Dog
---
Mog
Reta
Chuffy
Poog
---
"Hiza! Big dog die fast!!!"
Chuffy jumps inside the room and behind dog.
"Dog."
Reflex DC 13 for half damage.
Reta breathe fire on dog, and Chuffy walk around it. Dog now surrounded by goblins, and smell like burnt hair...
---
Mog
Reta
Chuffy
Poog
---
Dog (8)
---
Mog
Reta
Chuffy
Poog
---
Before any one could react mog walked up to the door and through the javlinn he picked up a bit ago at the dog.
Mog shrugs as the dog gets a javlinn almost through its neck but not quite.
only dog? Not so bad?
Omg throw javelin, and it stick in fur of dog. It make dog even madder, and madder! Dog furious!
---
Mog
Reta
Chuffy
Poog
---
Dog (10)
---
Mog
Reta
Chuffy
Poog
---
Poog will enter room with dog and fire last fire bolt ...
for
for
Poor hit Dog with fire spell, and it even more burnt than before. And crispy. And quite dead.
Big pot in kitchen has stew in it, but stew made of goblin parts! Eew! It has heart, and arm in it. There is big sack on side, and it has goblin head. It face full of scribbles, so must be scribble face. It true then, writing brings bad luck!
"Ewe ... no good stew. We burn ship now?"
"Hmph. Don't write. Don't eat goblins. Kill Dogs. Kill Horses. That is the goblin way." Reta nods to herself.
"Oh, and burn. Burn down Scribbleface and Vorka and dogs and horse. Chief think we are big heroes!" Reta gets excited and starts looking for something to burn with before realizing- "Oh wait! We need fireworks!"
"Mhm! There be lots of junk in below room. Should burn good! Let us go make fire!" Chuffy took out a tindertwig with a grin and moved to Vorkas room.
Ship make big, big bonfire, what can be seen from far away. When goblin return to village, they is greeted as heroes!
Reta becomes new village Grand Poobah of Fire-Making, and Chief make Chuffy Officer of Vile Stabbings. Mogmurch is given title of Big Boom Brewer, Poog win grand price: Poog get offered Chief daughter to marry, the fearsomely corpulent and ferociously lusty Gupy Wartbits.
"A-ha-ha! Me hero! Me now important! No stabbing if I not permit! A-ha-ha!" he jumps around happily until he sees that Poog get chiefs daughter.
"Wat? Me too want wife! Me better at stabbing than Pood and no wife for me? Chief, find me a wife and I be more better at stabbing! Yes-yes!"
Reta is recognized as a hero, like she should be! Anyone is free to bug her about making fires, or killing dogs, or riding wolves (no one has offered her a wolf ride though.)
You are the heroes of the Licktoad Tribe, living legends after you triumphed against the terrible goblin cannibal Vorka and recovered many fireworks from her lair. Your tribe used the fireworks to great effect, but one day while you were out scrounging for more fireworks, adventurers came into the swamp and wiped out your tribe. You returned to your home to find it in ruins.
Now homeless, you have decided to travel to the closest tribe of goblins you know about—the Birdcrunchers. Maybe they’ll have room for you to join! Only, now that you’ve arrived in Birdcruncher territory, something seems wrong. The Birdcrunchers appear unusually nervous and frightened, cowering around the entrance to their cave. They aren’t even trying to defend their territory. And now, a wrinkled old goblin with bulging eyes is waddling out of the crowd, approaching you. She’s obviously some sort of shaman—maybe even the chieftain. If anyone here knows whether or not you can join the tribe, it’d likely be her!
“Well, well! What have we here? Licktoads, by the look of you, and from what I hear, orphans as well, hmm? Looking for a new place to live, I suspect? Well, you might be in luck, because we need new blood. Our own chieftains have been... lacking... in chieftainish ways. We’ve been having problems lately with an ogre and his fire-breathing boars, you see, and any goblins capable of killing the boars and driving off the ogre... or driving off the boars and killing the ogre... or... or whatever—well, they’ll not only be welcomed into Birdcruncher territory with open arms. They’ll be made chieftains, one and all!”
With that, the gathered Birdcruncher goblins suddenly animate into cheers and song. Eager and excited, they surge out of the cave to welcome their saviors, but suddenly freeze as the old woman shrieks out a command for silence. The goblins freeze in place, and she continues in a softer voice.
“But we can’t just assume you’re the stuff chieftains are made of. You might just be lucky. No, no... before we accept you as our saviors and before you’ll even have a chance to face off against Pa Munchmeat and his pig... I declare we have a Chieftain Moot!”
Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh barks a few orders, and the Birdcrunchers scurry off to start organizing the moot.
Sprattleharsh is a figure of both terror and love for the Birdcrunchers. They whisper that she made one warrior who offended her vomit up a handful of spiny toads, and once set fire to a chief who interrupted her. One story even relates how she made a goblin who tried to curse the tribe write down the word “breathe”—after which he promptly forgot how to breathe and died on the spot. The Birdcrunchers happily confirm how wonderful she is,if asked, and how any new ruler would be wise to listen to her—or else.
The last few weeks have been rough for Reta. She was pretty sure the next step after Grand Poobah of Fire Making was Chief. She was going to grab some more fireworks and make her own display! Such a great display the chief would easily grant her the big chair!
Instead, those tall creatures on their weird horses and ugly dogs wiped out the tribe. Her hut was picked clean. They even smashed the big chair!
Time to take over the Birdcrunchers tribe. And what's this? A chance to be a hero rises immediately! All she needs to do is pass their stupid test. Fine with Reta. Just one detail is missing...
"...what's a Chieftan's moot?"
"Must be big feast. Bone crone say we face Munchmeat and pig. Maybe we ride pig?"
Chieftain moot be day-long festival. With games. And dares. And dangerous stuff. Goblin do number of trials, and best goblin becomes chief!
In evening, goblin eat food. This be birdcruncher clan, so birds are crunched. There is seagull pie, and albatross sandwich. Raven’s-eye pudding, vulture-ups, spicy sparrow poppers, and squeaky beakies. Good birdies is food birdie.
It become dark, and Wise Mummy brings out crown made out of bird skulls and bones and wings and twigs.
This be fabled Crunchy Crown of the Birdcruncher Tribe Mummy says Tomorrow, we make new chief. And this new chief will be able to kick that ugly Munchmeat ogre out of Ravenroost!
This is feast. You may talk to goblins or prepare for dares tomorrow!
"We be greatest Licktoad heroes! Strongest of Licktoads!"
Well chief stronger, but chief also dead, so we stronger, yes!
"We be your new chieftains, yes! And when we be chieftains, I want most pretty and fat goblin girl to be my wife! And we need a pit! With mud! We take pig from Pa Munchmeat and we make it our pet! It big fun, yes! Ah yes, me is Chuffy and I be greatest stabber in world! yes-yes!" and he jumps in his beloved clumsy battle stance.
There be three dares! Mummy explains when Chieftain Moot starts. Goblin who wins best at three dares is new chief. It simple.
First dare is in valley south of Birdcruncher cave. It be shooting seagulls. Blindfolded. Mummy will release three flocks of birds, each more distant than next. You must shoot. Goblin who hits, gets points. Goblins who gets most points, wins good.
Reta turns in the general direction of each flock and yells "FIRE!" as she lets arrows loose from her shortbow. "Bwahaaha! This easy! Me get all the birds and be big Birdcruncher!"
"Why is everyone laughing? Birds die in funny way?"When Reta loosens the blindfold, she notices three unharmed flocks flying away and a crowd of goblins laughing at her poor aim.
Humbled, Reta silently sits on a rock and waits out the end of the dare.
"My turn! My turn! Me good stabber, but me also shoot good, yes!"
After shooting, he removes a blindfold from one eye: "So? Me shoot good? I bet I'm the best!" he smiles widely and stands proudly and waiting for cheers.
if
if
if
"Heh Heh Heh ... Winner Winner Chicken Dinner."
Splashes:
How many cooked birds? Mog forgets to take the blind fold off and walks around dumfounded at how black everything is.
Reta hears the goblins cackle and laugh as arrow after arrow misses. Chuffy does a lot better. Twice, he nearly hits a bird, and hears the cawing of the birds are they scatter. The third time he even hits one, which causes the spectator goblins to let out a cheer.
Poog's fire already causes applause, and his instant hit on the first flock makes him a crowd favourite, until his second shot goes wide, and for his third shot doesn't even know where to aim.
Straight-out panic as Mogmurch starts throwing bombs. He manages to blow up the first flock, but his second bomb lands in the crowd and blows a few spectators to smithereens. Guess they won't be chief. The last bomb then neatly kills the third flock. Omg has best win of this game.
---
Reta: 0 Points
Chuffy: 8 Points
Poog: 2 Points
Mog: 10 Points
---
Second game is storage swamp stomp. Goblins must stomp of strikes ties to posts in swamp. Wearing human boots. No falling in the swamp. Who kills most strikes wins.
Poog have trouble with boots and fall into swamp immediately. Dogfinder like swamp and start to swim away. Poog chase.
Reta wobbles around the swamp wearing biggie big boots. "Human feet weird" Reta mumbles as she swings her dogslicer.
Reta manages to move and maintain her balance for a bit. Then she gets cocky and tries to leap between planks. She lands on her feet, but her big head tips her over and into the swamp. Doesn't smell too bad, all things considered.
Chuffy put on boots and walked funny. He raised his knees high and stomped every step.
"Chuffy stomp-stomp! Birdies squish-squish! And if miss-miss...he goes stab-stab! This is fun-fun. Chuffy likes-yes!" he sang while doing the dare.
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Poog fall into swamp immediately, and gets much laughter. Reta, Chuffy and Mog make many stomps at strikes. In the end, Reta kills three strikes before she fall off. CHuffy kill one more, but Mog best, killing five of them
Mog and Chuffy still standing at end of dare! They most winningest goblins!
---
Reta: 6 points
Chuffy: 16 points
Poog: 2 points
Mog: 20 points
---
Finally, for the last dare, Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh leads the chieftains-in-waiting back toward the Birdcruncher cave—as they approach, the stink of rotten meat and spoiled milk grows. The scent comes from a horrific “pie” that’s been created in a 10-foot-diameter bowl-shaped depression in the rock—the bowl is only 18 inches deep, but filled with a nasty, not-quite-boiling-hot slurry of spoiled milk, mud, swamp water, mashed-up grass, and dead birds. The top is covered over with an incongruously delicious- and flaky- looking pie crust. Several cauldrons of boiling pie filling sit nearby, along with a number of large, dented metal funnels.
Pie still baking mummy explains you will al be tied into pie, with al your stuffs. First goblin to escape is winningest goblin. Other goblins less winning, and even later ones least winning.
There also eagles in the pie. Killing an eagle gives more winningness!
With the rules explained, the contestants are lined up around the edge of the pie and have their wrists and ankles tied together. All goblins are pushed into pie!
---
Reta
Poog
Mog
Chuffy
---
Bird
Bird
Bird
Bird
---
"Pie smells like dog." Reta grumbles as she's pushed into the half-baked pie.
Reta squirms slightly in the pie.
"Aaaargh!"
Chuffy stuggles and wiggles,trying to get out.
If he got out with this:
He also takes the last two bombs and throws it at the birds. I'll make them go boom!