And at least your honest about it.
honestly, though
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I got really sad last night, and I should really know better than to post in that state. At least I only sent two friends embarrassing messages and didn't text my ex or anything, that's a step up from the usual affair.
Today's food for thought: Are smurfs just svirfneblin as imagined by surface dwellers from stories? Evidence:
- the name sounds like someone shortened and simplified it to smurf
- they have gray skin, which to darkvision might look blue
- eensy
- they mostly lack hair, but might wear caps or wigs
- they get in fights with kobolds a lot (but really the kobolds are just confused and scared and in a dark place and overcompensating by attacking delicate feminine things that threaten their ideas about themselves)
- going off of their art, they're always hanging around giant mushrooms
I got really sad last night, and I should really know better than to post in that state. At least I only sent two friends embarrassing messages and didn't text my ex or anything, that's a step up from the usual affair.
Today's food for thought: Are smurfs just svirfneblin as imagined by surface dwellers from stories? Evidence:
- the name sounds like someone shortened and simplified it to smurf
- they have gray skin, which to darkvision might look blue
- eensy
- they mostly lack hair, but might wear caps or wigs
- they get in fights with kobolds a lot (but really the kobolds are just confused and scared and in a dark place and overcompensating by attacking delicate feminine things that threaten their ideas about themselves)
- going off of their art, they're always hanging around giant mushrooms
You may be on to smurfing there.
I got really sad last night, and I should really know better than to post in that state. At least I only sent two friends embarrassing messages and didn't text my ex or anything, that's a step up from the usual affair.
Today's food for thought: Are smurfs just svirfneblin as imagined by surface dwellers from stories? Evidence:
- the name sounds like someone shortened and simplified it to smurf
- they have gray skin, which to darkvision might look blue
- eensy
- they mostly lack hair, but might wear caps or wigs
- they get in fights with kobolds a lot (but really the kobolds are just confused and scared and in a dark place and overcompensating by attacking delicate feminine things that threaten their ideas about themselves)
- going off of their art, they're always hanging around giant mushrooms
I thought that was the point?
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I don't know what my brain thinks it's doing these last few days but I am not enjoying it. If it's bipolar, I would like to skip to the depression half, please. It started nice--lots of energy, getting lots done--and gradually devolved into today's... I don't even know what to call today. I had a talk with my ex about living arrangements that feels like it was a dream even though it was the middle of the day. I was switching between tasks faster than I could handle and I couldn't slow down. It felt like I started so many conversations with strangers on Lex that I couldn't keep track of who I was talking to, while I was also refreshing the forums constantly and watching my Discord messages.
Oh, and we're still doing wild mood swings. Which, at the late hours, tend to lean towards the negative, but we don't have space in this apartment for me to be alone to freak out like a normal person so I'm venting here instead.
I kind of hate that this kind of day happened so soon after the doctor and I started seriously talking about bipolar, because I can't shake the feeling that my mind is making itself worse just to match symptoms.
Tomorrow the new update from Paizo leadership comes out. That should be fun.
This is why the dumb burnout stuff never made sense to me when I tried to practice it. Like, I don't break down from overwork. I break down the day I stop working, the day I take the break. I spiral out of control because I have so much energy and it's not being directed anywhere anymore.
EDIT: "and I should know better than to post in that state" well, I'm mostly restraining myself on that front. If I can't lose my mind on my own Mumblings thread, what's the Mumblings thread for? :P
Oh, and I found my emotionally toxic ex-friend on Lex and sent her a message, erm, I think that was yesterday, not today? It must have been, but I only know that because of a specific linked event that definitely took place across two days. It feels like today. I messaged her and, unsurprisingly, it was a pretty bad idea and probably unhealthy for both of us. We hadn't talked in, like, 5 years, and it was better that way. I am just... what a surreal two days to hold so much in them. And wasn't the nine-page post two days ago?
Sorry, all this is a lot. XD
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It is a lot. And its going to take time to find a way that works for you to process it all. And that's okay.
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There's an erroneous assumption that people process immediately.
It's a lie, sold by snake oil salesmen that want one to sign on the dotted line yesterday.
When there are big, monumental things, this is a huge detriment, and a root cause of why things have started to become toxic in our society.
Back in the day I had a tech-guru buddy. He was working as 'on-call' seven days a week, both from home and in the office, so it confused the heck out of me when he'd type a line of code, then go and take a nap for a few hours.
My muddled recollection was him saying "Well, I can sit here and panic while this runs, or I can go get some rest while it's running so I'll be refreshed for when it is ready. And if it's not ready when I'm feeling rested, I'll check to make sure nothing else caught on fire while I was resting."
That 'getting rest' stage has been largely discouraged by the mythology of the workplace . If one is not 'working', one is not 'eating'.
And this is a problem. It causes the manic side of a potentially bipolar condition to be rewarded and the depressive side to be punished .
This then turns into a feedback loop, and it is vicious. No time to process, decompress, shut it off and... well.
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Thanks, you two.
Not to be a boomer, but I'm gonna try staying away from my phone today except to check the apps that are only on my phone. I've told my techie girlfriend before that I don't think I could handle multiple screens, so accessing phone and computer simultaneously is silly.
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I don't know what my brain thinks it's doing these last few days but I am not enjoying it....
I don't have any practical advice on this front, and well wishes seem empty. I hope it eases up on you soon.
I kind of hate that this kind of day happened so soon after the doctor and I started seriously talking about bipolar, because I can't shake the feeling that my mind is making itself worse just to match symptoms.
I think I've told this before, but:
:(
Steve Geddes left.
Aw man. I don't think I ever interacted with him much, but I liked him from afar.
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Not as in Kobold Cleaver Wealth Management, but this sort of thing seems like the sort of financial planning kobolds engage in?
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Kobolds tend to lean on the socialist side of things, due to their ultimate commitment to the clan as a whole. The most common kobold clan structure features either a royal family or a council of elders as an executive branch, assisted and sometimes balanced by the Chief Trapper (who runs the Trapbuilder's Crew as a whole), the Chief Nurse (who runs the Nursery Crew), the court magician (who, if present, provides the bulk of magical and spiritual guidance), and the Cardinal Scribe (who, if present, leads the religious and educated scribe's team). The large "crews" (such as the Trapbuilder's Crew or Guard's Crew) are split into teams, which consist of anywhere between one and twenty-five kobolds with a particular task. These teams work together, eat together, and often even sleep together. All resources are managed by the executive branch, with the Nursery Crew often having an outsized impact on how resources are allotted. Few kobolds have traditional "families", but all kobolds remember the Nursery Crew, which gives the nurses a lot of influence.
The actual systems vary in practice from rigidly authoritarian to, more often, sort of anarchistic, commanded more by traditions and customs than actual rules--but the traditions can be very uncompromising. Of course, because kobolds tend towards groupthink and social order, this doesn't usually cause problems for them. Kobolds are very Lawful creatures.
Thank you!
Also, kobold clans near the surface sometimes instead take the form of "Stripmining Crews", which are basically large, fairly unified bands of kobolds who live on the go, working on contracts or simply harvesting and selling what they can. They tend to get in a lot of fights with the more sustainability-minded dwarven clans, to say nothing of angry druids with pointy sticks, but just as often operate entirely within the law, for extra protection.
Stripmining Crews are generally a lot harder to deal with than traditional clans, but still have a lot of the same ideals at the core.
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I'm really all about kobolds lately. Blame Rysky. My "Daily Kobold" thread is literally just my excuse to write up a new OC every day to show off all the kobold takes I have constantly buzzing in my head.
I love this. I want this to be official canon.Kobolds tend to lean on the socialist side of things, due to their ultimate commitment to the clan as a whole. The most common kobold clan structure features either a royal family or a council of elders as an executive branch, assisted and sometimes balanced by the Chief Trapper (who runs the Trapbuilder's Crew as a whole), the Chief Nurse (who runs the Nursery Crew), the court magician (who, if present, provides the bulk of magical and spiritual guidance), and the Cardinal Scribe (who, if present, leads the religious and educated scribe's team). The large "crews" (such as the Trapbuilder's Crew or Guard's Crew) are split into teams, which consist of anywhere between one and twenty-five kobolds with a particular task. These teams work together, eat together, and often even sleep together. All resources are managed by the executive branch, with the Nursery Crew often having an outsized impact on how resources are allotted. Few kobolds have traditional "families", but all kobolds remember the Nursery Crew, which gives the nurses a lot of influence.
The actual systems vary in practice from rigidly authoritarian to, more often, sort of anarchistic, commanded more by traditions and customs than actual rules--but the traditions can be very uncompromising. Of course, because kobolds tend towards groupthink and social order, this doesn't usually cause problems for them. Kobolds are very Lawful creatures.
Agreed.
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Maybe I'll get a job at Paizo. The working conditions are pretty good over there, right?
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Maybe I'll get a job at Paizo. The working conditions are pretty good over there, right?
They better be improving.
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Honestly, embarrassing as it is with everything that's come up lately--not to mention me already having a perfectly fine career in adult writing--getting to contribute to Paizo is probably always going to be the dream job. XD
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Honestly, embarrassing as it is with everything that's come up lately--not to mention me already having a perfectly fine career in adult writing--getting to contribute to Paizo is probably always going to be the dream job. XD
I would love to edit adult work again.
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Honestly, embarrassing as it is with everything that's come up lately--not to mention me already having a perfectly fine career in adult writing--getting to contribute to Paizo is probably always going to be the dream job. XDI would love to edit adult work again.
I would love to perform adult work again.
Wait.
What?
No, I think I meant that...
Wait...
Yes.
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Honestly, embarrassing as it is with everything that's come up lately--not to mention me already having a perfectly fine career in adult writing--getting to contribute to Paizo is probably always going to be the dream job. XDI would love to edit adult work again.I would love to perform adult work again.
Wait.
What?
No, I think I meant that...
Wait...
Yes.
The amount of exercise and training I would have to undertake to prepare for even novice adult work is considerable.
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Honestly, embarrassing as it is with everything that's come up lately--not to mention me already having a perfectly fine career in adult writing--getting to contribute to Paizo is probably always going to be the dream job. XD
It sounds like a fun way to earn a living.
Fun fact: I was almost an erotic baker, but landscaping paid more and I'm a bit claustrophobic by nature so I went with that, but I had a "sculpting" tryout and was told I was a natural. So at least I have that to fall back on.
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Fun fact: I was almost an erotic baker, but landscaping paid more and I'm a bit claustrophobic by nature so I went with that, but I had a "sculpting" tryout and was told I was a natural. So at least I have that to fall back on.
This is how certain types of movies start.
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Fun fact: I was almost an erotic baker, but landscaping paid more and I'm a bit claustrophobic by nature so I went with that, but I had a "sculpting" tryout and was told I was a natural. So at least I have that to fall back on.This is how certain types of movies start.
The pacific northwest is a magical place!
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I am craving pizza so bad right now I could commit an act of war.
Perhaps unwisely, this is my third day skipping Adderall. I didn't mean to start something, but now that I've started it I should finish. I just want to see what it does over a couple weeks, then I'll try the mood stabilizers.
I've been struggling to reenter the workflow. Realizing that I took advantage of Adderall to make up for a pretty uneven sleep schedule, the way people use coffee. Now I'm having to wake up normally and it's... hard.
Something I love about the forums: Some people just start, like, journaling threads. And that's just something people are chill with and contribute to. It's such a friendly, intimate sort of feel for a messageboard. Every subforum has its own vibe like that, and the OTD's vibe tends to be "a lounge area for regulars and newbies alike".
Glad you're still with us! It's hard to adjust, but that's what the OTD is there for.
*hugs*
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I'm thinking about "Cattail Kobold" as a name, since "Cattail" is one of my two main names IRL and, you know, it's almost the same initials. "Cottagekobold" is cute, but might be dated when everyone but me moves on from cottagecore in a few years.
I will never move on from cottagecore. I was born obsessed with unapologetically femme arts and crafts and country activities but never got to admit it until a year or so ago. I will be using the term "cottagecore" long after it's so cringe not even Instagram will acknowledge it.
...what is cottagecore?
Also, sent you a PM.
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Cottagecore is an aesthetic based around, in the simplest form, traditionally feminine/old lady things combined with rural/"outdoorsy"/"self-sufficient" things. Strawberry dresses, canning, sewing, gardening, big wide-brimmed hats, goats, forests, herb gardens, rooftop gardens, chickens, witchcraft, beekeeping, woodcarving, herblore, mushroom hunting, and so on. It's different things to everyone, of course, but it tends to be based in a lot of nostalgia, femininity, queerness, and reclaiming rural spaces from those groups that tried to make them unsafe for us.
It's not all rural, of course, and a lot of cottagecore content I see is set in cities and suburbs--backyard chicken coops, windowsill gardens, balconies with painted birdfeeders, etc.
Cottagecore is an aesthetic based around, in the simplest form, traditionally feminine/old lady things combined with rural/"outdoorsy"/"self-sufficient" things. Strawberry dresses, canning, sewing, gardening, big wide-brimmed hats, goats, forests, herb gardens, rooftop gardens, chickens, witchcraft, beekeeping, woodcarving, herblore, mushroom hunting, and so on. It's different things to everyone, of course, but it tends to be based in a lot of nostalgia, femininity, queerness, and reclaiming rural spaces from those groups that tried to make them unsafe for us.
It's not all rural, of course, and a lot of cottagecore content I see is set in cities and suburbs--backyard chicken coops, windowsill gardens, balconies with painted birdfeeders, etc.
So it's the Great British Baking Show then without so many Brits (you gotta have some Brits around to say "Cheers!" When you leave or arrive).
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KC, do you mind RPG lore questions of you in this thread? I don't want to derail it from your intent.
Also, I'd like to apologize for hijacking your Kobolds! Good! thread with non-koboldery.
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Cottagecore is an aesthetic based around, in the simplest form, traditionally feminine/old lady things combined with rural/"outdoorsy"/"self-sufficient" things. Strawberry dresses, canning, sewing, gardening, big wide-brimmed hats, goats, forests, herb gardens, rooftop gardens, chickens, witchcraft, beekeeping, woodcarving, herblore, mushroom hunting, and so on. It's different things to everyone, of course, but it tends to be based in a lot of nostalgia, femininity, queerness, and reclaiming rural spaces from those groups that tried to make them unsafe for us.
It's not all rural, of course, and a lot of cottagecore content I see is set in cities and suburbs--backyard chicken coops, windowsill gardens, balconies with painted birdfeeders, etc.
More seriously I have a friend that's into that and I found her a Strawberry Shortcake tea set once when we were both working at Vinnie's, and she totally freaked out! Good times!
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Oh my gosh, I'd lose my mind at that gift. A job at St. Vinnie's sounds like it'd be hell in practice, but quite a nice fantasy. XD
KC, do you mind RPG lore questions of you in this thread? I don't want to derail it from your intent.
Also, I'd like to apologize for hijacking your Kobolds! Good! thread with non-koboldery.
well I'm glad SOMEBODY apologized
<3 <3 <3
It's all good. People wanna share what they're into or make silly jokes. I already made another thread to vent my kobold love. :)
Also, I don't mind them at all! Please, invite me to babble about my special interests to your heart's content! You have nothing to lose but your time! :P
it will also be quite useful after the collapse of civilisation :)
The cool thing about cottagecore is while it affects self-sufficiency, there's nothing more cottagecore than mutual support and interdependence. <3
Cottagecore is an aesthetic based around, in the simplest form, traditionally feminine/old lady things combined with rural/"outdoorsy"/"self-sufficient" things. Strawberry dresses, canning, sewing, gardening, big wide-brimmed hats, goats, forests, herb gardens, rooftop gardens, chickens, witchcraft, beekeeping, woodcarving, herblore, mushroom hunting, and so on. It's different things to everyone, of course, but it tends to be based in a lot of nostalgia, femininity, queerness, and reclaiming rural spaces from those groups that tried to make them unsafe for us.
It's not all rural, of course, and a lot of cottagecore content I see is set in cities and suburbs--backyard chicken coops, windowsill gardens, balconies with painted birdfeeders, etc.
But...I do this all the time? I garden indoors at least. There was a huge to do over rooftop gardening when I was a kid.
It was a lot of fun working there, I made a lot of lifelong friends, both from coworkers and a couple of customers and I actually walked away from it felling better about humanity in general then when I walked in.
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I apologize as well for past comments in another thread, I realized the error of my way after I'd posted them and was able to delete them but never had the chance to apologize.
I'm sorry, you were right, won't happen again!
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But...I do this all the time? I garden indoors at least. There was a huge to do over rooftop gardening when I was a kid.
Then that's pretty cottagecore! Though some only consider it true cottagecore if you're wearing a sundress with flowers or strawberries on it while doing so. ;P
But...I do this all the time? I garden indoors at least. There was a huge to do over rooftop gardening when I was a kid.Then that's pretty cottagecore! Though some only consider it true cottagecore if you're wearing a sundress with flowers or strawberries on it while doing so. ;P