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I agree with Sableye on this one. That was inspired, Hunt!No no, your version's juuuuuuust fine. Let's roll with that.What is best in life?To trick your enemies, see them crush their belongings before you, and to hear the lamentations of their children!Laminating children seems like a good way make them easier to keep clean and to cut down on the mess they make.
Oh wait, lamentations. Uh yeah, I don't know what that means.
Indeed! Bravo!
I'm now thinking of establishing a line of laminated rats!
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ALERT! ALERT! ALL GREMLINS STAND BY!
THIS is happening on Saturday!
All weekend plans are cancelled! I expect everyone to bring their A-game! Big opportunity people! Let's not fumble it!
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ALL HANDS ON DECK
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{awakens from nightmare about annoying cream cheese bagel-eating squirrel} Wha-? Five more minutes.
Hmmm. I'm not sure how many rats and vermin or how much vomit I can muster on such short notice, but I will see what I can do!
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Welcome to AbadarCorp! How can I perpetually redirect your call, your pain is very important to us!
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OI! TRASHING THE SERVERS IS OUR JOB!
Just look at the picture they put up!
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OI! TRASHING THE SERVERS IS OUR JOB!
Just look at the picture they put up!
Personally, I always thought that was mistake...until I realized it was a picture of goblins trying to repair gremlin mischief.
Doing a typical goblin skilled job from the looks of it...
...
Trying to ree-pare?
What's ree-pare?
I think that's another word for "burn it"
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Nah, goblins are too dumb to attempt a repair or a bodge. They were likely just examining the servers to discover the secrets of our sublimely successful sabotaging skills.
{ goblin babies set Hunt on fire}
Hey are you guys having a party? Can I join?
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Oooo, someone's talking about me. I can tell, because it feels like my ears are burning. {ears literally are on fire}
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Oooo, someone's talking about me. I can tell, because it feels like my ears are burning. {ears literally are on fire}
I'll get the bactine...
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*Drinks the bactine*
{still smoldering slightly} So gremlins and goblins, I guess, sound off! How did you help sabotage the recent server maintenance?
{still smoldering slightly} So gremlins and goblins, I guess, sound off! How did you help sabotage the recent server maintenance?
I released a large number of rats and lice into the servers to chew through wires. Not sure how well it worked though...
I swapped all the labels on the machine ports and tied wires in knots. Also reversed all the power switch labels and stole all the light bulbs.
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I STUCK EXPLOSIVES INTO THE OFFICE VENDING MACHINES TO SLOW THEM DOWN!
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I moved a single decimal point...
I spat in everyone's lunch except for Brenda's.
Gots to have a scapegoat.
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I got thirty hamsters to run thirty turbines to generate enough electricity to overload all of the capacitors.
Then I hooked them up to the vending machine instead, because that seemed like it would be more fun!
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I STUCK EXPLOSIVES INTO THE OFFICE VENDING MACHINES TO SLOW THEM DOWN!
I got thirty hamsters to run thirty turbines to generate enough electricity to overload all of the capacitors.
Then I hooked them up to the vending machine instead, because that seemed like it would be more fun!
Suddenly I have a good explanation for the fried chocolate covered dill pickle chips I found all over the place! They were yummy!
Somebody keep a record of that technique! Fine cuisine is its own reward!
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I moved a single decimal point...
Hey, has anyone seen the vexgit Little Bobby Tables lately?
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OK, looks like our efforts have resulted in some success! :D
I'm currently working on a report on the whole event so we can review and get even better results next time! :)
Hey! No one has asked us questions in months! What gives?!?
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{freezes, stops eating latest printed message, attempts to fade into shadows (: FAIL)} You can't seeeeeee me...
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Don't look at me, I'm not in the office. I've been redirecting rocks and baseballs at windows all day. And forcing fumbles at high school football games, those are always fun.
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Look, I have too many business concerns to either ask questions or answer them on a regular basis. So Hunt's...proclivities, let's call them for lack of a better word are a welcome respite.
After all, these rats aren't going to move on their own!
Oh. I guess they will.
Excuse me...
Wait, which one of you did that? I think we didn't exist for hours!
Got phased! Nyahahahah!
Not sure. There are no reports coming in, so I wonder if Mimdel Boom tried wiring one of her bombs into the network.
I think that was secret plan #512,347,226. I'm not certain though. I'll check her notarized plans...
Not sure. There are no reports coming in, so I wonder if Mimdel Boom tried wiring one of her bombs into the network.
I think that was secret plan #512,347,226. I'm not certain though. I'll check her notarized plans...
Be careful. She might have booby trapped her plans.
What is the most annoying song ever? I suspect gremlins may know...
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The most annoying song ever is the one currently trapped in your head. We here at This Old Pugwampi recommend a carbide tip 3/8" paddle drill bit chucked in a high-speed hand drill for self-trepanning. This will allow the song to escape from your skull. Remember, songs are rather dull-witted, so you should drill three or more escape holes to better allow it to find its way out.
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That's a good one Hunt, but I find it better to put such songs in first so that the self-trepanning becomes necessary.
The most annoying song outside your head starts quite simply:
♪♫ This is the Song That Doesn't End... ♪♫
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What is the most annoying song ever? I suspect gremlins may know...
Easy peasy pappy.
Before time existed, there was 'Everything I Do, I Do It For You' by Bryan Adams.
While time still runs, there will be 'Everything I Do, I Do It For You' by Bryan Adams.
After the universe is dead, entropy has extinguished all, and the final triumph of Tharizdun has arrived; though things have been destroyed even unto the sub-molecular level, there will still be 'Everything I Do, I Do It For You' by Bryan Adams.
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Mimdel is on 'time out' after the last incident with the Captain's prized vessel... I don't see the fuss, it was just a rotting rowboat, but you know how these things go...
In any event, that someone asked GREMLINS about annoying songs when that's OUR thing... I swear. No respect for form these days.
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Mimdel is on 'time out' after the last incident with the Captain's prized vessel... I don't see the fuss, it was just a rotting rowboat, but you know how these things go...
In any event, that someone asked GREMLINS about annoying songs when that's OUR thing... I swear. No respect for form these days.
Well if someone starts a >>Ask Wilkins, Goblin Scholar, and Mimdel Boom, Goblin Pyromaniac, Anything At All<< thread, I will consult goblins on such issues. until then, Gremlins are the only respite.
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Well if someone starts a >>Ask Wilkins, Goblin Scholar, and Mimdel Boom, Goblin Pyromaniac, Anything At All<< thread, I will consult goblins on such issues. until then, Gremlins are the only respite.
Two things...
1. Those lunatics aren't in charge! I AM!
2. It's way better to barge into someone else's place than starting your own! THAT WAY THEY HAVE TO CLEAN UP THE MESS!
...wait, if you're not cleaning up here, who is? Sure as Winter's icicle-ridden instep isn't us!
...
I bet it’s kobolds- little lawful brains incapable of appreciating some creative disorder!
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{continues to quietly sweep up messes}
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{rides around on maid's head while wearing shark costume}
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With so few people taking advantage of our wisdom (and that despite how incredibly clean and neat our thread is being kept!), I believe it behooves us to begin using aphorisms from gremlin culture to enlighten and entertain in these dark times.
"Life is like a box of chocolates: the sour quince log is always the last to be eaten."
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What is a quince log?
Inspired by the success of the immortal HeLa line, researchers at my candy factory attempted to clone beloved actor Jack Klugman. Unfortunately the lab just so happened to not be built on an Indigenous American burial ground, or a toxic land fill, or a breached nuclear power plant. Heck, even the old well wasn't so much as cursed. As a result, the now immortal Quince¹ line grew at a completely unchecked rate that would put Tetsuo Shima to shame. Thanks to my unending genius, we quickly implemented a plan to prune the Quincemass with diamond-tipped chainsaws, rake up the quivering bits, roll them out in a powdered nougat-sugar-nutmeg-miracle berry² mixture, dunk them lightly in the finest North Dakota chocolate, and then package them for sale.
¹ We didn't think to call it JaKlu until later, as most of our marketing department was among the very first to be assimilated into the immortal mass.
² The addition of miracle berry extract did much to counteract the Quincemass' incredible sourness, but even then it cannot completely eliminate it. We tried selling it without the extract, but the sourness permanently sinkhole-puckered the jaws, noses, and lower-half of the skulls of everyone in our testing groups.
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I do believe this is better than The Immortal Quiche.