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So out of the blue at work today, I immediately think of Asmodeus, but someone starts saying “hey bro...”. Perfect timing happens and the “bro” replaces”-mo-“, resulting in the unholy abomination that is ASBRODEUS, CORE GOD OF FRATERNITIES.
But then I thought about it some more and figured, why stop there with just one bad pun? So I begin storming up more Frat Gods, such as BROSTCHTCHIE, Demon Lord of frosty ones, and TRELMAFLEXIAN, Horseman of “I got you, fam...”ine. There’s also BROVAGUG, who partied too hard for everyone’s own good and is locked in the frat world’s basement.
And that’s where I ran out of pun ideas. Basically you replace part of the god’s name with a fitting masculine pun and turn him into a stereotypical frat boy... but with divine powers. Anyone care to help me out with this awful idea?
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Abrodar immediately comes to mind. No idea what he would actually be as a frat boy...
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ABRODEN, who went missing when trying to create the most glorious party ever
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BROETUS, the mad god of the party's end.
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Brorum, the god who's got everyone's back in a fight or might even start one just because
Bromethean Alchemists, the ultimate bartenders.
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Chilliax, one hell of a place to party at.
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Well there's one particular barrel ripe for plundering, monster-wise:
Flesh Brolems are often created from the remains of one's most loyal frat brothers to immortalise their greatest #squadgoal achievements.
If you ever need a spotter or someone to really get those gains with, Iron Brolem's ya boi.
The ultimate wingman, Bone Brolem is smooth, clever, dry-witted, and knows the hottest spots to meet like-minded consenting adults.
But as for dieties, I'm a tad bit stuck. Kurgess is already a total bro, but maybe...
Brozreh, god of the gnarly waves, the totally b*$%$in' wolf-pack and the king AND queen of the all-night beach party.
[b]Brogathiel[/], Lord of Drank Revenge
Zahc: 'Yo, where the f- is Tavis?'
Conor: 'Aw bro, he did a jaeger-bucket, he's down!'
Tavis (weakly) 'In [b]Brogathiel[/b['s name, avenge me!'
Zahc: 'Bro!' *downs two jaeger-buckets*
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Abrodar immediately comes to mind. No idea what he would actually be as a frat boy...
Fraternity High Treasurer and Enforcer of "The Bro Code" - lest we forget, frats are very Lawful entities (loyalty to group identity above all, norms/conventions/traditions etc).
Bro-thulhu - He's the one who gives you nightmares when you sleep by putting shaving cream in your hand and then tickling your face with a feather.
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Flexys, That one god who shows up to the party and does magic tricks; it was funny at first, but stop...
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Nyarlabrotep, God of The Thousand Forms, all of them swaggy AF.
Also, Broloras, one of the heads of the infernal sorority. Usually does the initiation rituals.
Also also, Swolezuriel, horseman of war and headmaster of Abaddon’s largest sorority. Usually works alongside Urgathota, who owns the largest undead sorority and fraternity branches on BROLARION.
Chilliax, one hell of a place to party at.
Ruled by Abrogail the Deuce, so titled for dropping that wicked deuce in the Phi Kappa Talda tank at their rush week bash.
Brorag, God of protection; keeping his fellow bros from being a d*#k. He also brews his own dank beer.
I'm Commander BroShep and this is my favorite thread on the internet. Dotted.
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The Swollen Lands:
Once a pair of kingdoms well known for their impressive gains in the gym, now reduced to a constantly stormy swamp battered by the eternal and incredibly ripped hurricane the Eye of Abrodego for the crime of skipping leg day and populated by remarkably buff lizardbros and broggards
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You all disgust me.
Oh, we haven't even gotten to all of the gods yet. Save your disgust for later. ;)
Traveling back in time from the far future, there is Broras, god of searching out the next big brew.
Calistribruh, headmistress of the largest sorority in all the planes. The sisters of her sororities often do business with all of the fraternities, both professionally, “professionally”, and “personally”.
Abrollyon, horseman of pests, likes hitting on lady he comes across. Which really sucks for them, because he is a total slob. With a pechant for spouting gross and offensive “controversial” humor, he is a nauseating character in every sense of the word.
Broden Brolean, broest bro to ever bro. Partied so hard he became god of beer, freedom and luck.
No real change here, Caiden is just that cool.
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I’ll just leave this here.
And to think I was expecting Bronies in this thread from the title.
Anyway, Ragaswole, that one bodybuilder you do not want to mess with.
Babe-a Yaga:
The legendary cougar whose chill embrace has claimed many a bro. Seen everything and done everything. No matter how dank you think you are she has seen danker. Also known to run a sorority full of real ice queens.
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Brahzmir - AKA "that stupid little poser-b$$~+" who shows up to the frat every pledge drive, always talks a big game, but can't manage a single initiation trial no matter how many times he's tried; nonetheless, he has convinced a small gaggle of high school students that he's totally frat president; he buys them beer and cigarettes.
Piss-Ng. God of getting wasted on the side of the road after drinking a liter of water.
Lamoshpit? Goddess of sacrilegious rock and roll.
Brorori. You know he spends all his time working out.
Vilduuuuuudiss. She just disses dudes like Bro-Kuthon. Sick roasts.
Hey Bro-Kuthon! You're so ugly, my eyes grew back and then jumped out!
Abrodar immediately comes to mind. No idea what he would actually be as a frat boy...
He's the designated driver.
Your awful idea would be improved/made worse by including the enemies. Broglodites. Broglins, brobears, brocrs. Dark bwarves. Brombies (animated by Brothoa, of course). Please run this game?
Also, if you've never played the Broforce video game with a friend or two, you're missing out.
and of course, Socothbronoth. that f***ing guy.
and of course, Socothbronoth. that f***ing guy.
Closely related to him is Hoticula, demon lord of all the adults only stuff. Really popular with almost all of the male frat guys for her flirtatious attitude, but also infamous for being manipulative. A social climber to the extremes and a surprisingly good business woman, she has risen to become one of the most powerful headmistresses in the abyss.
Frequently calls her brother “Suck-Goth” to remind him of his awkward teen years.
... animated by UrgaBrothoa, of course...
Fixed it. I was gong to say I already covered her, but I can see why others might want a different title.
How about Brorag, god of creatively forging IDs?
And Ibrori, god of workouts and being all-around awesome at everything?
I think ID forging might be more in Broskar’s territory. Brorag might be the best brewer in the pantheon, but he’s still LG: he’s not gonna sell it to underaged children. His NE ex-student, on the other hand...
Anbroletta: Bro of bro-hugs *no inclination!*, consoling the recently broken-up with in bro fashion, and the one that bro-slaps people upside the head when they're being dumb?
Hell House fraternity has such members as Broloch, Ballsebul (aka "the Roofinator"), Disspadre (a heavy metal fan with a flair for nasty insults), vice president Mephisbrahpholes, and rastafarian Mam-mon. Brahriel was such a wild partier they had to throw him out.
They score all their weed and other drugs from the Scag Countess. They're always macking on Gaysya, but she has eyes only for her sorority sisters.
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Brahrenrae encourages us to forgive our bros when they do us wrong. After all, and the end of the day, aren’t we all bros?
If you try to ruin the party though, she’ll totally kick your ass.
Hell House fraternity has such members as Broloch, Ballsebul (aka "the Roofinator"), Disspadre (a heavy metal fan with a flair for nasty insults), vice president Mephisbrahpholes, and rastafarian Mam-mon. Brahriel was such a wild partier they had to throw him out.
They score all their weed and other drugs from the Scag Countess. They're always macking on Gaysya, but she has eyes only for her sorority sisters.
Unlike his other bros, Disspadre respects women. That’s why he’s had the longest relationships out of all the headmasters of Hell House. He can’t remember the name of his first girlfriend thanks to a bad night of drinking, but that might be for the best. He had a short relationship with Ferbronia, but that ended once their kid, the empyreal bro Brahgathiel aka Ragaswole, was born. Hellacura, his current gf gets along well with the rest of Hell House.