(Humor) Summarize an Adventure Path... badly. (Possible spoilers)


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I'll start at the beginning:

Rise of the Runelords: A greedy wizard gets his greedy minions to kill a bunch of greedy people to release him from the palace of greed in the capital of greed in the forgotten empire of greed, but then he's killed by greedy adventurers.


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Zachary W Anderson wrote:

I'll start at the beginning:

Rise of the Runelords: A greedy wizard gets his greedy minions to kill a bunch of greedy people to release him from the palace of greed in the capital of greed in the forgotten empire of greed, but then he's killed by greedy adventurers.

Nah, let's do it one better...

Crotchety old wizard gets woken up from millenia-long slumber and decides to take out his irritation at kids (PCs) being on his lawn by killing the kids and everything they hold dear. He even as a nice big stick to shake at them!


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Skull and Shackles if you're a normal person:

"A fine adventure path. Some interesting mechanics, kinda a naval combat-themed sandbox. I had a pretty good time."

Skull and Shackles if you're the target audience for Skull and Shackles:

"HAVEN'T YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO BE A PIRATE IN PATHFINDER WELL NOW YOU CAN HAVE I EXPLAINED THAT THIS IS A PIRATE ADVENTURE YOU ARE LITERALLY JUST PIRATES AND YOU SAIL AROUND AND DO PIRATE THINGS YOU ARE PIRATES IN PATHFINDER I CAN'T EVEN CONTAIN MY EXCITEMENT WAAAAAAGH!"

I fall into the latter camp, m'self.

Dark Archive

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Hell's Rebels: A concerned member of Thrune's government takes over a city, subjects it to martial law, and undergoes a ritual to tie him permanently to the land to root out the most insidious horror that threatens Cheliax: mint.


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I will not rename Sandpoint Gravity Falls.
I will not rename Sandpoint Gravity Falls.
I will not rename Sandpoint Gravity Falls.


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Misroi wrote:
Hell's Rebels: A concerned member of Thrune's government takes over a city, subjects it to martial law, and undergoes a ritual to tie him permanently to the land to root out the most insidious horror that threatens Cheliax: mint.

It's a real problem. No one gets my Thin Mints.


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Kingmaker: Okay you like game of thrones? Yes? Well... imagine a land ripe to be torn by war, rife with political intrigues and power plays among noble families, each with its own agenda!

Got that in your head? good...
because you bums are getting your butts exiled to the wilderness outside of it. ;)


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Giantslayer: It's all there in the title.

Hell's Vengeance: The Empire Strikes Back.

Jade Regent: Making the author's pet NPC Empress. (Teasing ya, we love Ameiko! Seriously!)


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Shattered Star: Rise of the Runelords, Runelordier!


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Council of Thieves: *Sings* It's here! An adventure with an OPERAAAA!!!


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Carrion Crown: Universal Studios horror, the campaign. Ghosts? Check. Frankenstein and his monster? Check. Werewolves? Check. Lovecraftian horror... wait, where the heck did this come from? Oh good, it's gone. Vampires? Check. Weird cults? Double check.


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Second Darkness: Your low-life gamblers have their low-life shenanigans interrupted by a call to unrewarded heroism to defend ... elves?! Seriously, can't we just have "rocks fall, everyone dies" instead?


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Legacy of Fire: "Kapatesh Nights! During adventuring days, it could go quite awry, as wishes are tried... in a lot of foul ways! Kapatesh Knights, under Kapatesh moons, a player with bad luck, could die from Pugawumpus run amok... before he hits level two..."


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Iron Gods, it's like Fallout, but without the bent tin cans.


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Reign of Winter, Doctor Who goes to Skyrim.

Silver Crusade

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captain yesterday wrote:
Reign of Winter, Doctor Who goes to Skyrim.

WRONG! Doctor Who goes to ARENDELLE!

Liberty's Edge

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Serpent's Skull: What's cooler than searching for a ruined city? Searching for THREE ruined cities!

(Also, "The Mwangi had cities?")

Silver Crusade

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Wrath of the Righteous: DragonForce, The Adventure Path!


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Archpaladin Zousha wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:
Reign of Winter, Doctor Who goes to Skyrim.
WRONG! Doctor Who goes to ARENDELLE!

Not at my house.

I work at a toy store, so I can't Let It Go anymore.

All Frozen and nothing else make Captain Yesterday go something, something...

Edit: And it's a little rude to use all caps to tell someone he's wrong about something so subjective. Next time lay off the caps. :-)


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Yes, don't use Caps on Cap. =^-^=

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Strange Aeons: Lovecraft Lite.

Second Darkness: Take that, Drizzt!


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I think the bigger lesson is don't yell at me that I'm wrong. But really, isn't that what everyone wants. :-)


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Tangent101 wrote:

Yes, don't use Caps on Cap. =^-^=

----------

Strange Aeons: Lovecraft Lite.

Second Darkness: Take that, Drizzt!

But, was The Ghost King not enougheth of a screw jobeth!


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Hell's Vengeance, It's Always Sunny in Cheliax.


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Hell's Rebels, Archer.


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Hell's Rebels: "If you would be free men, join Robi..err the pcs!"


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spoilers... obviously...

Spoiler:

Rise of the Runelords: Never met a trope it didn't like - except book 3 - book 3 is like Saw meets Hostile....

Curse of the Crimson Throne: Kings a perv so he marries a hot younger girl - who knew she'd be a black widow baby? Stop the evil queen from taking over the kingdom... (nope that idea is NEW DAMNIT!).

Legacy of Fire: If you get tired of gnolls well my friend let me show you how much you wish you had gnolls once you are trapped in another dimension for 2/3's of the campaign....

Skull and Shackles: Be Pirates arrrr - but good ones... you know because we were unsure bad could work when we made this....

Jade Reagent: If you thought this was the 'oriental' adventure you are wrong! Lets show you how a trip around the world can make an entire campaign - none of this silly GM says 'you travel around the world it takes you 6 months' stuff - LIVE THE JOURNEY!

Reign of Winter: Serve Baba Yaga! See the Universe! Citizens can vote!

Second Darkness: We didn't know how to start this (because doing some low level task for the elves would have been too cliché) but you all wanted our version of Drow so TAKE IT AND LIKE IT.

Shattered Star: Rod of Seven Parts redone in our style. Suck it Gygax.

Wrath of the Righteous: You go into the abyss and kill a demon lord - if you don't think that the campaign is going to be a bit monty haul with this premise in mind please look elsewhere and stop b&#$~ing.

Mummy's Mask: For inspiration we watched Steve Martin sing 'King-Tut' for 48 hours in the Clockwork Orange encouragement chair.

Hell's Rebels: Players: We want a city based campaign with lots of intrigue and diplomacy... Us: here it is and on top of that has the most real and horrible version of hell in print for any 'role playing' game ever printed as the prize at the end' Players... 'huh? this is boring.... zzzzzz /drool'

Hell's Vengeance: we can not let the 3rd party people show us up - EVIL here we come! But only half evil... the diet coke of evil...

Giantslayer: This is the first time we took the name on the adventure path and stuck to the theme. Like if you don't like this go tell people to shut up when they complain about robots....

(speaking of)

Iron Gods: Aliens, Androids, this is like blade runner meats Conan and is blended up in a bit of Logan's Run.


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Rise of the Runelords: the rightful ruler of a continental empire strugles to escape the prison that has protected him for millenia and return his lands to glory, only to be thwarted by well-intentioned but confused adventurers.

Council of Thieves: a pair of unbalanced siblings explore the boundaries of adulthood and are met with societal disapproval.


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Kingmaker: Build a kingdom from the ground up, putting your diplomacy and resource management skills to the test. And then suddenly defend it from a threat that comes from completely out of left field.


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Serpents Skull. No matter what you do, someone will get there before you.

Jade Regent. Let's go over the roof of the world and sort those silly foreigners out


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Carrion Crown: Poltergeist meets Underworld
Iron Gods: Mad Max in Numeria
Kingmaker: more like Kingdommaker
Jade Regent: Episodes IV, V, and VI, Golarion'd.
Rise of the Runelords: Paizo: let's experiment with 6 different categories of monsters to screw with rangers and favoured enemies!


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Wrath of the Righteous: rampaging hordes of demons discover someone has changed the rules on them, literally.


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Skull and Shackles:
Resort cruise not as advertised.


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Second Darkness: adventurers discover a secret dark-elf plot to call down a second starstone, ally themselves with surface elves, then learn surface elves are such horrible people that maybe letting the drow destroy life on Golarion is for the best.


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Carrion Crown:
The rest of the gang learn Scooby and Shaggy were right this time.


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Curse of the Crimson Throne:

Spoiler:
You have a TASK!!! Finally, vengeance will be yours against the man who ruined your childhood! Years of planning boils down to... Oh, that's it???

And the king died? Everyone goes a$+*#~% despite nobody actually liking the king! And the queen is trying to take over the city, so we will now... Ummm... Go away for a good number of months, rather than stay and coordinate a revolution. So there. Take that, queen!

Also, the curse of the crimson throne has literally NOTHING to do with the plot.


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Mummy's Mask: The Gou'ald want their pyramid ships back.


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CotCT

Chain quests ahoy! Better get them all or things can only continue by DM fiat.

Silver Crusade RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32

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Hell's Rebels: Keep Kintargo Weird!


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Kingmaker: Or - how to break up a friendship faster than Monopoly!

Mummy's Mask: You too can roleplay as Brendan Frasier!

Reign of Winter: Wanted - fur coats.

Wrath of the Righteous: You all can play Superman!

Iron Gods: Expedition to the Barrier Peaks Lite


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We start in Taldor, with snow!

Move to Irrisen, with even more snow!

On to Iobaria, still more snow!

Off to a whole new world, still with the same old snow.

Now to our world, and its snow.


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Kingmaker: Civilization: Pathfinder.

Jade Regent: Like Journey to the West, except you're going North.

Second Darkness:

Spoilers!:
You go from serving a selfish human a*+$#+~ to serving haughty elven a$&%!~+s. Also, there's drow in it, and they somehow manage to be more likeable than the surface elves.

Legacy of Fire:

Spoilers!:
E-Harmony doesn't work when it comes to genies.

Silver Crusade

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captain yesterday wrote:
Archpaladin Zousha wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:
Reign of Winter, Doctor Who goes to Skyrim.
WRONG! Doctor Who goes to ARENDELLE!

Not at my house.

I work at a toy store, so I can't Let It Go anymore.

All Frozen and nothing else make Captain Yesterday go something, something...

Edit: And it's a little rude to use all caps to tell someone he's wrong about something so subjective. Next time lay off the caps. :-)

Sorry! Next time I'll add one of these (:P) to indicate my facetious tone. I didn't mean to be rude.

Council of Thieves: You're BATMAN!


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It's all good Zousha, I knew you didn't mean it to sound like that. You've always been a stand up guy.

I might have come off as overly sensitive and not as helpful. It just kind of hit a momentary soft spot. :-)


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Archpaladin Zousha wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:
Archpaladin Zousha wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:
Reign of Winter, Doctor Who goes to Skyrim.
WRONG! Doctor Who goes to ARENDELLE!

Not at my house.

I work at a toy store, so I can't Let It Go anymore.

All Frozen and nothing else make Captain Yesterday go something, something...

Edit: And it's a little rude to use all caps to tell someone he's wrong about something so subjective. Next time lay off the caps. :-)

Sorry! Next time I'll add one of these (:P) to indicate my facetious tone. I didn't mean to be rude.

Council of Thieves: You're BATMAN!

If I may. Curse of the Crimson Throne always struck me as having heavy shades of Batman, and The Princess Bride. While Council of Thieves kind of reminds me of Interview with a Vampire, and The Godfather.

But that's just me. Council of Thieves certainly has the dark gritty urban decay of Batman that's for sure, so I can totally see your view point. :-)

Silver Crusade

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Hell's Vengeance: For when you want your tabletop RPG to feel more like a computer RPG, only eeeeeeevil.


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Curse of the Crimson Throne: The King is dead. Short live the Queen!


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Rise of the Runelords: Goblins, ghouls, ogres, stone giants, themed dungeon, lost city.

Scarab Sages

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Mummy Mask:

Brendan Frasier and co fight a fake Imhotep who's trying to rez a real Imhotep with the power of a mask fashioned from Imhotep while avoiding bureaucrats who killed Imhotep and cultists who worship Imhotep. Featuring strong female leads in all but 1 relevant government npc role, and copius amounts of libraries! Books and tombs, coming to an ap near you.


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archmagi1 wrote:

Mummy Mask:

Brendan Frasier and co fight a fake Imhotep who's trying to rez a real Imhotep with the power of a mask fashioned from Imhotep while avoiding bureaucrats who killed Imhotep and cultists who worship Imhotep. Featuring strong female leads in all but 1 relevant government npc role, and copius amounts of libraries! Books and tombs, coming to an ap near you.

Yo dawg! I put your Imhotep in your Imhotep.


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Carrion Crown is incredibly versatile here. I've run it as Harry Potter, I know someone running it now as Scooby Doo, I know someone else prepping it as X-Files and someday I'll make it into Ghostbusters. Because I mean come on, the ending can totally go Ghostbusters with hardly any effort.

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