1001 Ways to Die Horribly


Advice

Scarab Sages

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The monster attacks you and... hits for... X damage. You fall unconscious/dead...

BORING

How about...

1) The ogre rushes you and bats your weary defense aside. In a single powerful stroke he removes your hand. And your arm. That whole side of your chest really. Oh, and your head. That too.

2) The enemy monk easily dodges your hasty Burning Hands spell and slips between your arms. He could have been hugging you if it weren't for the sound of your rib cage collapsing...

3) The enemy mage releases a coordinated blast of force missiles, each aimed for one of your chakras! Each hurts, but it's the lowest that really does it to you. You fall over in so much pain that every man in sight reflexively crosses his legs.

4) You face the charging knight with fierce determination, confident that you are in the right. Justice is on your side! How can you fail! His steed snorts and leaps at you, hooves thundering. Your heart matches it beat for beat as the distance closes. Metal crashes, you both Strike! And your true heart is shown for all to see. Literally. On the end of his lance.

Clarifcation, just in case:

This is an exercise that pops up every now and again on these boards and is a creative exercise for GM's in drama and storytelling and creativity. Specifically, this will be used to help me with a high mortality PbP module/adventure/thing I'm working on, so I want to say a big thanks in advance to everyone who posts. :)
Also, Please do number your entries. It keeps everything nice and tidy.


Niiiice.

There was an old dragon issue that went into gruesome deaths. I think it was a Halloween issue.

As an aside, let's try to keep the deaths awesome, and not stomach churning. We don't want people having flashbacks.

5. You've seen fire before. Every day, in fact. You've seen magic used before, maybe not every day but you're no novice. You've even seen the dreaded "fireball" spell used before to devestating effect. But you've never been the target before. You smell your own flesh cook even as your nose and lungs are seared away. You feel your body hit the ground, and watch tongues of Flame devour the grass around you, even as a numb cold permeates your being. The irony is not lost on you.

Grand Lodge

6. Your blade- now battered and bent from the heat- bounces off the pauldron of the fiend you face. Your energy is spent, and you slump to one knee.
The fiend blows it's steamy exhale in your face, and you reflexively close your eyes. But you mostly close them to avoid the sight to his two flaming blades come down upon you...

7. Crashing through the brush, you search for your quarry, who has the obvious advantage. You told your party that you are hale and hardy enough to stave off her attacks and will attempt to preoccupy her until they can recoup for some minor healing.
You regret break the cardinal rule- Never split up the party. As you are now completely lost; and the bite you suffered from the bug that crawled into your armor has left you weary.
From above you, you hear a whistle. Knowing you shouldn't, you still do. And in the trees, you spy your quarry, who winks with a "gotcha" grin- and lets loose her arrow.
Before your sight fades, you see "Frog" etched onto the arrow's shaft.


I don't get it.


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8. You knew that your friends had been fools for taking the tavern owner up on that “quest”. Off they went, gallivanting about the countryside in search of treasure, abandoning their responsibilities for heroics. You chose the wiser and obviously safer course; staying at the farm and tend to your duties. As you stack hay in the barn after a long day out in the fields you find the meningeal task causes your mind to wander. You think to yourself, ‘It would have been nice to earn some good gold; maybe one quest wouldn’t have been so bad…’ In your reverie, you scarcely notice that you knocked over a low hanging oil lamp. Moments later the dust and hay ignite in a flash…


9. The small, slim, unarmed, unarmored man who insisted on taking you on, with your sword, shield and baldric, barely touched you on the hip. He avoided your riposte, but now your entire side is aflame, and it hurts to breathe. Your sword arm is gripped with some kind of palsy, the blade falling to the ground, and your head is aching as if you had been drinking all night. Your opponent folds his arms behind his back and begins to walk away without a care in the world. There is a growing pressure behind your eyes, and you taste blood in the back of your throat. What did he d-


Choon wrote:
2) The enemy monk easily dodges your hasty Burning Hands spell and slips between your arms. He could have been hugging you if it weren't for the sound of your rib cage collapsing...

You got monk-hugged! M-hugged! Mugged?


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10. You clean the wizard's blood from blade, a allow yourself a small moment of pride. Not only did you, a mere mage, single-handedly defeat the most powerful wizard in Wardshire, but you did so without speaking a single word. As you begin to leaf through their spellbook, page by page, a small scrap of parchment with arcane runes scrawled upon it flutters out onto the table before you. Lifting it to eye level in order to make out the script in the dim candle light, you curse the old fool's terrible handwriting. You can just make out the words "... the finishing touches upon my doppelganger have been completed..." and "... this morning, I prepared Explosive Runes."

11. Your vision flickers and blurs as stinging beads of sweat pour down into your eyes, and it feels that ever increasing numbers of lead weights are being tied to your arms. Your breath comes raggedly, and the creature flashes you a cruel smile of mocking pity through the ever closing web of clashing steel. "You should have not have challenged me, whelp." With one last swipe of her blade, she at once knocks your last clumsy parry with away with one hand, and your world goes white as the hammer in her other hand crashes down on your head.

12. In the darkness around you, there is nothing. There is damp, and cold, but there's no sound of footsteps, no slither of a blade coming free of it's sheath, or even a hint of breath. Yet you cannot shake the unease, the dread, that is filling your mind. There's nothing, no one, you are imagining it, what's wrong with you, why can't you stop shaking, just you, and it, the thing, fell thing, all shadow, eyes, gleam, tendrils and teeth, doom, death, must look away, it's after you, it wants your eyes, eyes, eyes, EYES!

Your min suddenly stops racing, and as the creature pulls its hand from your now silent heart, you slump to the floor. As the creature dissolves, you realize you had been a fool. As the sorcerer hidden from view steps out of the darkness, a malicious grin split across his face, you realize it had been nothing but your own fear, mixed with his illusion, that had brought your end.

Grand Lodge

13. Your instincts tell you the hall way was clear. But you foolishly chose to believe that only the floor was trapped. A Click at your feet warns too late, now the floor is sinking beneath your feet. dropping your torch, you scramble for the edge that is impossibly close yet just barely too far.
Scared, you look back to see your fate- but the hole is clear. Just a pit? you ask yourself, breathing a sigh of relief- your friends should be able to pull you out.
Then the clack above you has you worried, then from the ceiling something nearly hits you in the face.
Looking at it, it's a crushed skull.
With a gulp, you look up to the ceiling- as a pillar of spikes is coming into v--

14. "Take off your armor," they said as the ranger and the druid secures the climbing rope.
'Eh, I'll just take it slow and steady,' you say and you grab a rope and hop off the edge.
You see the monk scrambling to the edge of the cliff, snatching the unsecured rope, and holds on to your lifeline.
As they slowly inch you up, you really wish you had taken off your armor- and you feel your grip slipping.
At the least, you should have removed your gauntlets...


15. "The Great Wyrm Red Dragon gives you a stone amulet."
"As you journey away from the keep, the Dragon releases the Polymorph Any Object enchantment on the amulet, immediately turning it back into a gigantic Pyramid which proceeds to fall on you. Do you WANT to roll the 10x10^17 d6 Crushing Damage, or can I just declare the entire party atomized?"

16. "I crawl into the Green Demon statue's mouth..."


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17. You realise you've made a horrible mistake, as the 101 dogs you gathered to make into a fashion ensemble turn upon you. You feel dozens of sets of toothy jaws jostling for their own piece of your flesh as others tear away their own quivering gobbets. Although it feels like a hellish eternity, it is only moments before you mercifully lose consciousness. You slide to the afterlife accompanied by the savage baying of black and white dogs soaked red in your blood.


18. With a mighty blow, you slay the Big Bad Evil Guy you've been questing against for 18 levels, only to realize the first-level druid in the corner has line of sight on your circulatory system, due to your bleed damage. And purify food and drink has no saving throw. Your blood has just turned into water. A chill comes over your body, and intense pains wrack your chest as your heartbeat is thrown off. In moments, your vision goes funny as your brain function begins to cease. By the end of the round, you're just a particularly damp corpse.

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