Wouldn't work. the defenders are fans of Nu-Metal and modern pop music, so there's no way to come up with any music bad enough to upset them.
Catapulting in the corpses of plague-struck dogs?
They have undead janitors.
Throwing randomly selected people off of this forum in until they surrender because of our insanity?
No dice. They are all b/tards.
We could release the hounds, or the bees, or the hounds with bees in their mouths so that, when they bark, they shoot bees at you.
NOT THE BEES!!!!! No one is stupid enough to let the bees lose.
We could use a giant chain saw.
I tell them, "well done!" And ask to join their ranks.
They're not paying attention.
We could cause an earthquake so massive, that their castle will be swallowed whole by the ensuing chasm.
If only they didn't have Antman's helmet.
What if we get China to buy them and repossess the gate?
Already tried. Bottom of castle consists of bedrock tiles from Minecraft.
We could offer them a truce, then kill the negotiation party when they leave their fortress.
Unfortunately, all of their cows are paladins and thus immune to poison and disease.
Have we tried throwing rocks at the enemy yet?
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Wouldn't you know it? They have a portal cannon that will just cause any rocks we throw at them to just come back to us.
We could concentrate the air above and around their castle until the ambient atmospheric pressure is thousands of times the norm for this world, thereby crushing the fortress and everything in it....
Unfortunately, the enemy's fortress was built with atmosphere-proof crumple zones. It would take more air than exists in the elemental plain of air to crush it.
Is the winged tyrannosaurus breeding program finished yet? We might take the fortress with those...
They've got winged Tyrannosaurus treats out the wazoo.
We could use the Murdersaurus instead.
Unfortunately, they just happen to have a mosasaur-filled moat around the entire building.
Have we tried the oversized can opener yet?
Sadly, that can opener is out of production.
Maybe we could use GM-overrule their current-and future security/safety measures?
Sadly we don't have that many cattle at hand, since the majority has been catapulted into the lake yonder, in attempt to pollute water supplies.
How about we make a portal for an avatar of Yog-Sothoth's near the castle?
Surely he'd destroy the 1st thing in sight....which isn't US.
The German Big Bertha's been out of commission for over 55 years, no way it's going to function anymore.
How about we wish upon a falling star, for it to crash down onto their fortress?
Unfortunately, the falling stars guild was forced to sign a non-compete clause with the Efreeti wish-granting union.
I remember that we released the Kraken. Has that done anything for us?
They are generally mean folk, so no.
We could threaten to keep trying to invade their fortress by ever more unlikely methods until the cows come home?
We tried that yesterday. They asked us to stop so nicely that we just felt terrible and left.
Have we tried luring them out of their fortress with the world's largest pie?
Galactus's herald determined that the fortress was too high in sodium and might give the planet eater diabetes.
Did that insurance fraud plan end up working?
Unfortunately, they're so dedicated to supporting local businesses that the last Wal-Mart that opened there went out of business within a month.
I hear that there is an unlikely band of rag-tag heroes that are questing nearby. Have we tried reaching out to them?
Unfortunately, the Castle was created on a 6-dimensional plane which has our 2-D monsters totally flummoxed.
Surely our orbital space laser has finished powering up by now. Let's try using that!
It is ready, sadly a nearby asteroid has crashed into it.
Maybe erasing the original post will void it even existing.
Unfortunately, erasing the original post would void all of us from existing as well. Don't ask how, time travel is complicated.
I'm thinking that a good old internet flame war might be a way to crack that fortress wide open!
Unfortunately, Gallant will never be parted from that idiot Goofus. And you can bet that Goofus will screw us over big-time.
Has Smashthonius, the god of breaking holes in walls, answered our prayers?
They just put up a cartoonish-looking Foot Dismembering Spike on their central tower.
...what if we find out who is leaking information to them, kill that person, then continue our campaign?
They have a ritual to summon the Horsemen of Famine and Pestilence.
Maybe we should all give up and go home?
We have no home to go to. They razed our homeland to the ground, salted the ruin grounds, burned what was left, and animated the remaining dead into horrible monstrosities that prevent anything living from surviving there.
Perhaps we should consider an alliance with beholders. I imagine their antimagic vision would do wonders against their magical defenses.
They already have a contract with them. If the many-eyed beasties violate it, they go poof. Except more violently. And painfully. With quite a lot of blood.
Screw it, I say we summon the tarrasque.
It's still sleeping off our spell.
But as summoning goes, what say we switch genres? Let's try some Final Fantasy summons instead, see if that works better than our normal options.
Unfortunately, the Aeons and the Espers are currently in a Civil War to determine which faction is the "real" Final Fantasy summons.
I think it may be time, Ladies and Gentlemen, to activate Plan Alpha-Omega-Four. I don't need to explain what it is to you all, I'm sure. It's extreme, but it may be our only option that gives us victory.
Are you kidding? That fortress is way too clean, it'll never touch it.
Quickly! We need to find a way to grunge up that fortress!