[NSFW] So a player is almost a level 7th Wishmaster Sorcerer...

[Secret Wizard]

...and he's going to be able to spend a swift action to make creatures reveal their heart's desire.

So it seems I would need a list of convoluted, kinky sexual acts, which should probably involve magical creatures.

[Evilgm]

I feel like you are underselling the concept of heart's desire and sentient beings in general if you think it's all about kinky sexual acts.

[Lamontius]

"Not to have that barbarian hit me in the face with that axe."

[Pan]

Daisy red rider BB gun....

[Suthainn]

Happiness, Power, Friendship, Love, Revenge, 'That really shiny thing I MUST have!', Peace... etc.

There's far, FAR more than just sex as a possible hearts desire, I suspect that in fact sex is probably near the bottom of the list (except maybe for 13 year old boys).

[NobodysHome]

Pan wrote:

Daisy red rider BB gun....

You'll shoot your eye out, kid.

[Splode]

Suthainn wrote:

Happiness, Power, Friendship, Love, Revenge, 'That really shiny thing I MUST have!', Peace... etc.

There's far, FAR more than just sex as a possible hearts desire, I suspect that in fact sex is probably near the bottom of the list (except maybe for 13 year old boys).

"The evil wizard cackles as the gates of the keep open to reveal the foot soldiers of his horrific army...magically-augmented 13 year-old boys!"

[Pigtails]

Suthainn wrote:

Happiness, Power, Friendship, Love, Revenge, 'That really shiny thing I MUST have!', Peace... etc.

There's far, FAR more than just sex as a possible hearts desire, I suspect that in fact sex is probably near the bottom of the list (except maybe for 13 year old boys).

I dunno man, you've seen those pictures of Seoni right?

On the subject again: a heart's desire doesn't naturally have to do with being nasty as all hell - maybe they just want to own their own business, be successful, be worshiped like a hero, etc. If you are playing one of those particularly styled games though, you can hit up F-list or something or some site that is less safe-for-work than the Paizo boards for plenty of educational information on the subject of 'kinky with a side of creature.'

[boring7]

Have the player roll a d20, if it's a natural 1 the target wants something sexy, if it's a natural 1 on the follow-up roll it's something disturbing involving tentacles.

And I'm gonna be honest, 90% of the time, with orcish barbarian mooks, it's naked elven slave girls carrying trays of tasty food. They're pretty simple dudes.

[Pan]

I'd say im a simple dude too then......

[Secret Wizard]

What's wrong with a little levity, people?

Wouldn't it be funny if the Wishmaster who wanted to know the innermost desires of his enemies found that that what EVERYONE really did want was to get naughty with a Choker?

[Physically Unfeasible]

Secret Wizard wrote:

What's wrong with a little levity, people?

Wouldn't it be funny if the Wishmaster who wanted to know the innermost desires of his enemies found that that what EVERYONE really did want was to get naughty with a Choker?

As to issues getting such a discussion off the ground, the problem is partly these boards aren't really somewhere that is permitted. :P

As to the idea; amusing conceptually - may fall flat quickly. Now, making every creature's heart's desire being subversive in general? Would be quite amusing. Problem is, comedy is...filled with je ne sais quoi. Lots of it. Big vats of unidentifiable stuff!
That...probably isn't helping moving off NSFW ideas. Really, what will cause a grin at your table is different to mine, and probably every other posters' in this thread. So, without knowing the audience intimately, it's hard to gauge what will cross the line from amusing to squick to twee. After all, much as:

Quote:

Happiness, Power, Friendship, Love, Revenge, 'That really shiny thing I MUST have!', Peace... etc.

Is probably true for many, I'd personally groan at the cliche if I met it too often. Definite twee there.

Gory sexual scenes? Probably hitting a giant "ew" button for most.
That said, to give halfway good advice other than "you're on your own man!"; I personally would recommend something unexpected, sometimes. Do it all the time and the surprise is robbed from the entire joke.
The occassional Orc should want a quiet life on a dairy farm, or the uptight noble to have upsetting things done, involving rabbits, to them. But everyone? Nope. Just gets turgid.

[Suthainn]

Secret Wizard wrote:

What's wrong with a little levity, people?

Wouldn't it be funny if the Wishmaster who wanted to know the innermost desires of his enemies found that that what EVERYONE really did want was to get naughty with a Choker?

Jokingly, absolutely :D

Even once or twice in play maybe! But if it actually happened a bunch in game then whether or not the joke wears thin, unless the game has a porno/benny hill theme, what's actually happening is that the GM is screwing over one of a players class abilities.

Of course, we all know that the REAL hearts desire is a nice MLT - mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe.

[Kazaan]

"My favorite position is the Round-the-Back-Monkey-Spanker!" And leave it up to your players to figure out exactly what that looks like.

[Jayson MF Kip]

As it turns out, everyone just wishes to be left alone.

[Zhayne]

It says heart's desire, not any other body parts.

[Jayson MF Kip]

Zhayne wrote:

It says heart's desire, not any other body parts.

"A constant supply of oxygen from some lungs and an unsevered connection to a medulla oblongata."