Pathfinders Against Humanity


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4/5

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Hi folks

I'm sure you'll already be familiar with Cards Against Humanity - the party game for horrible people (if not, it's free online so if you aren't easily offended go take a look)

Anyway - I'm currently putting together a PFS inspired version of Cards Against Humanity to bring a bit of a fun to the Friday night pre-con gathering at 3XP next week.

If anyone would like to contribute an extra card idea or two I'll be happy to share the results afterwards.

Ta muchly!

Carol


4 people marked this as a favorite.

Black cards:

"Goblins are in the bakery! They just threw _____ in the oven!"

"Sandpoint: ______ of the Lost Coast."

"If I lived in Thassilon, I'd be the Runelord of _______ ."

CHOOSE 2: "Kneel before me! I am _________ , Demon Lord of ________ !"

White cards:

Mummy rot.

Sneak attacks.

Alchemist's fire.

Mammy Graul.

Called shot to the groin.

Permanent level drain.

Failing a bluff check.

Arazni.

Fur-lined masterwork manacles.

The Decemvirate.

A bartender who's a retired 10th-level fighter.

magic missile.

Taking an arrow to the knee.

4/5

Thanks, you have some good ones there :)

Dark Archive **

3 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

Black cards:

"You think your faction mission is bad? If I get the Paracountess [BLANK], she's promised me that we'll [BLANK]!"

At low-tier, you fight a troll. At high-tier, you fight a troll with the [BLANK] template.

How did Aroden die?

I worship the Empyreal Lord of [BLANK]!

My next PFS character will be a synthesis of [BLANK] mixed with [BLANK].

In the Hao Jin Tapestry, there's a whole demiplane devoted to [BLANK].

What's this boon do?

What did I have to do to get full PP for this mod?

White cards:

A CR inappropriate encounter.

Half-demon trolls.

Another damn Vancaskerkin.

The Veiled Masters.

The Aspis Consortium.

Owlbears with their left halves as owls and their right halves as bears.

Putting a bag of holding into a portable hole.

Drendle Drang.

5/5

4 people marked this as a favorite.

White cards for some of my favorite characters to show up in the campaign:

An elderly homosexual werewolf

Grandmaster Torch naked in a steaming bath

Kafar and Nefti's ambiguous relationship

A blurry, alcohol-fueled evening with Miss Feathers

and, for fun:

Mithril Poison

Sovereign Court 2/5

5 people marked this as a favorite.

White Cards:

The Red Ache

Playing up.

"I do this for Taldor."

5/5

2 people marked this as a favorite.

More white cards:

3 AM wake-ups
My Rod of Wonder
Ollysta Zadrian's Chastity Belt
grease
A Naked Bathhouse Brawl
A Bag o' Goblins
The rules for darkness


1 person marked this as a favorite.

White cards:

Fighting bandits... again

Gamer funk

Strangely prescient faction missions

Paperwork

A much-needed audit

Creepy eidolon incest

3e-based holdover rules

Corpse recovery duty

Blakros Museum Bingo

5/5 5/55/55/5

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Murderhobo
Table variation
wild empathy
animal companion
PVP
"friendly fire"
take 10
Saranrae
Zyphus
Lamashtu
Runelord
The 10
Drendle drang
Aram Zey
Kreighton Shane
Mission briefing
Prestige point
Faction mission
Secondary success condition
Player handout
creative solution
Season 0
Chronicle boon
Race boon
Fame score
Prestige point
Ressurection
Body recovery

5/5

3 people marked this as a favorite.

White cards:
Drendle Drang
Drandle Dreng
Drendle Dreng
Drandle Drang
Creepily role-playing a kitsune enchantress
Creepily LARPing a kitsune enchantress
Blaming the Aspis Consortium
House rules

Black Cards:
I don't allow ______ at MY table.
You know you're in trouble when you get to the table and _______.
I got a crit and killed ________ in one hit.
Oh great, the wizard is ______ again.
What's my day job?

Silver Crusade 4/5 5/55/55/55/5 *****

I attack__________
(best answered by)
The darkness

The Exchange 5/5

Mike Bramnik wrote:

I attack__________

(best answered by)
The darkness

should that be:

(best answered by) Drendle Drang

Shadow Lodge 4/5 5/5 RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 8

Acedio wrote:
"I do this for Taldor."

I really want to make a set of these now. Great idea OP.

Scarab Sages 4/5 5/55/5 *

4 people marked this as a favorite.

Black:
Once we figured out the cipher, we learned that __________ was code for __________.
When Grandmaster Torch asked, "Do you know how I got these scars?" I guessed that he got them from __________.
The devil we know turned out to be __________.
I visited the Worldwound, and all I got was __________.
My faction mission from Amenopheus: kill __________, and bring __________ back to Osirion for study.

Sewer Dragons of Absalom:
In return for shipping goods through his territory, Kibizax demanded that the Pathfinders grant him __________.

When I was running The Confirmation, the players encountered __________ in the forest and __________ in the cave.
Men need to wear full armor for protection, yet women need only wear __________.
The new faction of Pathfinders in the Year of the Sky Key is the __________ Lodge.
The guise of Aroden known as the __________ brought __________ to the people of Absalom.
Venture-Captain Amara Li was unable to fund the Lantern Lodge because she spent all of her money on __________.
You have what you hold, and right now I'm holding __________.
What got me kicked out of the Pathfinder Society?
In ancient Thassilon, the magical school of divination was tied to the sin of __________.
Make a goblin song. (Play four cards in order.)

White:
A pickled imp in a jar.
A cage full of slip slaves.
Pouring out a vial of the Sun Orchid Elixir.
Runelord Sorshen's sex dungeons.
Hao Jin's Thong of Deflection.
A glabrezu in a level 1 scenario.
A big black dragon.
8 oz. of flayleaf.
Ruby Prince Khemet III's withered arm.
A contract written in devil's blood.
Tengu genocide.
A mission with a time limit.

The Disappeared:
A painting of Sarenrae and two succubi having a three-way. (Thanks Jonathan H. Keith.)

Chuffy Lickwound.
A poorly concealed pit trap.
A bigger, blacker dragon.
A bloody Aspis Consortium badge.
Asking Venture-Captain Dennel Hamshanks for ham.
An ambiguously worded faction mission.
A marriage between a man of Ardoc and a woman of Blakros.
Kyle Baird.
The Cubic Zirconia Sage.
Viridium poisoning.
Declan Dreng.
Off-topic conversations at the game table.
A knife with a +9 against ogres.
A lecture from Aram Zey.
Strip-searching captured enemies.
Doodling in a borrowed copy of Pathfinder Chronicles.
Sheila Heidmarch's sorcerer build.
Assigning Andorens and Chelaxians to the same mission.
The biggest, blackest dragon.

5/5 5/55/55/5

2 people marked this as a favorite.

____ swarm

Pathfinders, you need to retrieve the _______ of ________

Sorry, that has DR _________

You need to make a dc 25 Profession:_______ check

The statue appears to be______

The paracountess would like you to retrieve a ________ for her personal collection

Colson Maldris wants you to kill a _________ for him

Guerllia needs you to make _________ an offer they can't refuse

Grandmaster torch needs you to find a pathfinder that was killed by ________

Amari li needs a _______ for the center piece of a tea set

Gloriana Morillia wants you to assist a royal family known for __________

Sovereign Court 4/5 5/5 ***

4 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Starfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

This needs to be a thing. If someone makes this a thing I will print out a copy and bring it with me to GenCon.

4/5 5/55/55/55/5 ***** Venture-Captain, United Kingdom—England—Coventry

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Iammars
If you ask Carol nicely, I'm sure she'll send you a copy :-)

Dark Archive **

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

OK, "biggest, blackest dragon" wins this thread. Although I'll try to one-up it with "the biggest, blackest pudding."

Black card: You're surprised by a ________________ ooze! Roll for initiative!

Lantern Lodge 5/5 *

2 people marked this as a favorite.

@RocMeAsmodeus: I must give you kudos for biggest, blackest, dragon. Most of your suggestions are pretty darn good.

Black Cards:

_______. I'll need a Will save.
Due to swelling ranks, many Hellknights are being transferred to the Order of the ________ to battle against ______.
When I'm Venture Captain, what will be the first thing I do?
The temples of Calistria has really expanded as they now have rooms for ________.
...and your final test of the Starstone is __________.
Paizo's newest Adventure path pits ________ against the entire might of __________.
The latest Pathfinder FAQ entry finally solves the debate about ________.
To wed her next available daughter, Hamaria Blakros demands a dowry of _________.
What's the newest attraction in the Blakros Museum?
Spending 2 Prestige Points on ________ is a steal!
Despite their bold efforts, ________ Lodge never took off in the Pathfinder Society.
Despite all of the hype, Paizo's Blood of ________ didn't sell.
The hottest boon around allows you to play as _________.

White Cards:
Doing Calistria's work for an army of mites.
2 Prestige Points
Not enough Fame
Putting up with goblins because of faction missions.
The steely glare of Ambrus Valsin.
A paper mache decemvirate helm
Walking around everywhere casting detect magic.
Taking 20
Forum troll
Using a bottle of liquid ice to cool your ale.
RAGE LANCE POUNCE!
The OP Rogue
A bestial half-orc pretending to be a Thundercatfolk.
Rolling a Nat 1 on your Will Save.
HeroLab
Hacking the Additional Resources page.

Sovereign Court 4/5 5/55/5 **

Pathfinder Maps, Rulebook, Starfinder Maps, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

marking.

Grand Lodge 1/5

4 people marked this as a favorite.

I made a few custom cards, not Pathfinder specific, but related to RPGs generally. Here's some that I remember.

Black:
We would have never thought that ________ was the lich's phylactery.
The evil wizard teleports the party to the elemental plane of _______.
At character generation, I chose the traits ______ and ______.
The dragon is unsatisfied with the sacrificial virgin and now demands _______.
What can change the nature of a man?

3/5

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Great idea! :D I brainstormed some cards last year. Here are what I found in the bad corners of my mind.

Black Cards
We only escaped the crypt thanks to ___.
The secret behind Cayden Caliean's ascention was ___.
___ is considered a bad move afther The Varisia Incident.
The Decemvirae secretly supports ___.

White cards
Watching Grandmaster Torch bathe
Shelia Heidmarchs deep, raspy voice
+2 Full plate dipped in honey
Writing ambigious faction missions
Zarta Dralneen's toy box
Selling agents into slavery
The Antagonize feat
The Frostfur Captives
Attacking your captain during briefing
Lobbing alchemist's fire at everything
Trusting Grandmaster Torch
Black Tentackles
The hellknight order of the stick
Guaril Karela's offer you can't resist
Marinated tengu
A naked Drandle Dreng
Snak attack with a wayfinder

2/5

2 people marked this as a favorite.

White Cards:
Giant Purple Worm
Osprey's Eye-liner
Adril Hestrom's Summer Intern
Kaer Maga's Leash Laws
A Chelaxian Probation Officer

4/5 *** Venture-Captain, Pennsylvania—Pittsburgh

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Okay, words cannot express how much I love this thread. I just added something to my birthday wish list.

White Cards:
Washing Grandmaster Torch's Back
A Goblin with a Wand of Fireball
A Harrow Deck
DR/Cold Iron
Alchemical Grease
Vermin Repellent
Ioun Torch
Ambrus Valsin, high on pesh
A scroll of Breath of Life in a spring-loaded wrist sheathe

Black Cards:
My character advances boldly into ____________.
I was nearly out of power attacks, when _________ showed up with _______.
In the second room of Bonekeep, ________ nearly caused a TPK.
If Valeros hadn't brought _______ to the Blakros Matrimony, then we wouldn't be _______.

Shadow Lodge 4/5 **** Venture-Captain, Michigan—Mt. Pleasant

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Yeah, I would love to see this made and played. :)

Dark Archive 4/5 5/55/5 **** Regional Venture-Coordinator, Massachusetts—North Shore

1 person marked this as a favorite.

if you went to PAX East there was a white card for Season 5

Demons and $#!T

Shadow Lodge 4/5

2 people marked this as a favorite.

White Cards:

5 Aasimars and a Tiefling

Gunslinger Crits

A Wisdom of 5


2 people marked this as a favorite.

White Cards:
Barbarian AC
A Grippli Lich

Black Card:
Why I had to make an alignment check.

Scarab Sages 4/5 *

1 person marked this as a favorite.

White Cards :

Grandmaster Torch in the bathtub.
Miss Feathers
Midnight wakeup calls from Drandle Dreng.
The bathhouse in Port Godless

Black Cards :
What I keep in my Pathfinder's Pouch.

Dark Archive

O_o

I want this thing! I would pay real people monies for it even!

5/5 5/55/55/5

1 person marked this as a favorite.

______ caused the paladin to fall.
______ will fix the rogue class.
______ will end caster martial disparity
______ is the best thing to ever happen to the game
The bag of holding
The "other" bag of holding
Alternating current
5 int nagaji paladin
Lucky 7s barbarian
calden caydens loincloth

3/5

2 people marked this as a favorite.

I want to see this happen. I would pay, like, tens of dollars for this if it became a thing.

My own meager contributions (not PFS-specific):

Black cards:

The new rogue archetype replaces Trapfinding with _____.
My favourite bardic performance is "inspire _____".
I heard in Katapesh, the going rate for _____ is _____.
Magic Circle Against _____.
Nobody expected them to announce "_____ of Golarion".
Instead of velociraptors, the Paizo warehouse is now full of _____.

White cards:
Going drink for drink with Cayden Cailean.
Grappling a gelatinous cube.
A Calistrian prostitute.
Another goddamn drow paladin.
Shaving off the dwarf's beard and gluing it to the elf.
Random encounter tables that don't make sense.
Velociraptors.
Goblin babies.
A TPK.
A poorly-hidden phylactery.

Grand Lodge 4/5 **

White Card:

Murder Hobo

4/5 5/5 ***

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Maps, Pathfinder Accessories, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Maps, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

Roll for [blank]. It's time [blank] this mission.

In this chest is [blank], needed for your faction mission.

Sovereign Court 4/5 5/5 ***

4 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Starfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
James McTeague wrote:
This needs to be a thing. If someone makes this a thing I will print out a copy and bring it with me to GenCon.

Update: I have started a list of cards. It looks like I might be making my own copy. I will probably need to steal cards from this thread though.

Sczarni 5/5 5/55/5 ***

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Black cards:

_____ Con.
I spent 2 PP on _____.
"I do this for _____!"
Season 7, Year of the _____.
GM: What's your Day Job? / PC: Craft (_____).
The secret ingredient of the Sun Orchid Elixir is _____.
After much consideration, _____ was finally banned in PFS.
Due next summer: _____ of the Inner Sea.
"Is _____ legal in Society?"
Racial Heritage (_____)

White cards:

TPK
Wandermeal
Kyra clones
RageLancePounce
Alchemical Grease
A three-armed Gunslinger
A sewer full of pesh addicts
A suspicious-looking Flesh Golem
A Fiendish, Advanced Titan Centipede

Dark Archive 3/5 **

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Blank Cards:
Next season's theme is _________.
__________ is banned from society play because __________.
This scenario made us ___ and all we got on the Chronicle was ____.
Does anyone have Knowledge:________?
You can now spend prestige points to get ___________.
The next batch of beta test classes can ___________ while _________.
The new retirement arc requires characters to _________, ________, and _______.
_______ made me decide to rebuild my character into _________.
In this scenario, Pathfinders are tasked with __________ before ________.
My new vanity gives me bonuses to _________.
You can now get an upgrade to your wayfinder for ________.
__________, the newest exhibit from the Blackros Museum.

White Cards:
Yet Another Goblin Scenario
Kreighton Shane's Wisdom Score
Sudden But Inevitable NPC Betrayal
Getting Spanked for Taldor
Illiterate Barbarians
Mwangi
Ape on Giant Statue Action
Sandwiched Between Ogres and Harpies

Shadow Lodge 4/5

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Black cards:

Andoran: Land of ______

Oh yeah? Well MY Eidolon looks like ______

The Paracountess spices up her orgies with ______

I'd like you to welcome the Society's new master of _______

White cards:

Obscenely powerful Splatbooks

5 Summoners and a Gunslinger

Picking fights with 12 level NPCs

5/5 5/55/55/5

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Opperation ______ _________
No one understands _______
The villian is obviously _____
Its a murder mystery where _______ kills _______ with a _________
Wanted in ustalav for illegal acts with a _________
No one understands
Mengekare
Hermea
Velociraptor
Tyrannosaurus rex
Spinosaurus
Shadows
Slumber hex
Spell combat

Lantern Lodge 5/5 *

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Just to bring it up... there are a couple of CAH creators out there. Of course the printing would be a bear (one's designed for your print your own method, and found another that emulates the original CAH design).

Perhaps over July I can slowly work on printing out a set for GenCon!

5/5

2 people marked this as a favorite.

White Cards:

A Flamestrike trap
ANOTHER Flamestrike trap
Explore Report Cooperate
--or--
Explore
Report
Cooperate
Accidentally critting the guy you wanted to interrogate

5/5

2 people marked this as a favorite.

The Foxglove sisters
The pants in the Heidmarch family
Stacking archetypes
An important ally of the Pathfinder Society
3 years of hazing
Janira Gavix's chances of survival
competent Venture Captains
Pathfinder...in spaaaaace!
political favors
A palpably evil tramp stamp

My character was ruined when they banned _____!
It was a sad day when I found out _______ is illegal in Absalom.

4/5 5/5 ***

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Maps, Pathfinder Accessories, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Maps, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

More cards for Cads Amidst Hostilities (in the vein of Crabs Adjust Humidity).

Zarta Dralneen's lost love letters to [blank].
Auntie Baltwin's Home for [blank].

The place between perception checks and the surprise round.
Explosive Runes.
Ambrus Valsin's mustache.
Well-written, Infernal poetry.
Gnomes, they're not really people.
Gug lipstick.

Dark Archive **

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

My diviner casts detect ________________.
Among the __________________: an adventure for levels 1-5.
What does my cavalier have for a mount?
My PC just barely survived The _________________ Affair.
What's the curse on my oracle?
RAGELANCE________________

Harsk/Ezren slashfic.
Gestalt builds.
Mythic cantrip.
A Calistrian in a chastity belt.
A threeway with Urgathoa, Zon-Kuthon and Rovagug.
Playing down in Season 0.

3/5

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Desna's starry nipples.
Being less intelligent than the wizard's familiar.
Falchion to the face!
A random axe of kindness.
The innkeeper's daughter.
Colour-coded dragons.
Swimming with a tower shield.
Ezren wearing nothing but a speedo.
A Razmiran priest.
"Intimidating" inanimate objects.
Fleeing to the River Kingdoms.
A Zon-Kuthon pinup calendar.
Gnomish sex toys.
Hopelessly giggling at the mention of cockatrices and succubi.
Immature innuendo.

4/5

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Thanks for all the help!

I have my draft set ready for printing - anyone else wanting a copy should be able to find it by following this link

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B6dCbf89CkdXSnFMOVNINmVJY0U/edit?usp=shari ng

Shadow Lodge 4/5 **** Venture-Captain, Michigan—Mt. Pleasant

David Higaki wrote:
Perhaps over July I can slowly work on printing out a set for GenCon!

Yes, as your GenCon roommate and a Venture-Captain I demand that you print them out and bring them to GenCon! ;D

4/5

Is also now on Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/groups/threexp/605214206261597/

Sovereign Court 1/5

3 people marked this as a favorite.

Can't....stop....Laughing....

"The new rogue archetype replaces Trapfinding with Velociraptors."

Gold...just gold!

White Cards:

Hobo Crits
Wand of Grease
A Half-Elf Master Chymist's busty alter-ego
Sensei's Advice
Odd-numbered ability scores
Negative Con Modifier
Dumping all 20 points into Charisma
Philter of Love
d6 hit die
Caltrops
Snooty Taldan people
Dominate Person
My Eidolon looks like the Kool-Aid Man.
Dirty Trick: Galactic Wedgie
Random monsters knowing Disintegrate.
Characters with X in their name.
Being tricked into drinking a Potion of Inflict Critical.
Cads
Mooning the enemy.
Negative Charisma Modifier

4/5

1 person marked this as a favorite.

I have a feat which lets me apply the ________ template to my summoned creatures.
Now for only 2 prestige points, you can get a fully-charged wand of _________.
The latest Cheliax faction mission involves getting ________ for Zarta's toybox.
In this mission, touching the sewer water causes a Fort Save against ________.

-

Taunting the Venture Captain.
Casting atonement on the paladin - again.
The Barbarian's Lockpick.

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