Goblin Squad Member
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Given the tone of the forums of late, and the growing excitement and tension spawned by the anticipation of the next Landrush, I thought it might be a good time for a little levity. After all, we are going to be living together in the same world shortly. If we can't enjoy a laugh with one another, we're likely taking all this much too seriously.
Please reply with your most memorably funny experience from any game you have played. From a charmingly cute anecdote to tales of gut-busting hilarity, let's share what we have enjoyed in the past with others, in hopes of better ensuring our mutually enjoyable future.
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Goblin Squad Member
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The Date: Mid-2000.
The Place: Ultima Online.
It was Power Hour, a late night period where your skills increased twice as fast, and I was in some horrible undead tomb grinding monsters. There was a nice group of fellow grinders and we'd slaughtered everything that moved and were waiting for a respawn, which took a while.
We chatted, made some bad jokes, quoted movies, and then started typing song lyrics. Someone started "singling" Bad Touch by the Bloodhound Gang. And someone joined in. And then someone else. Soon there was a dozen of us pop-rap-typing our finders off. If one person didn't know the right line, three other people did so there was never a break in the singing.
Embarrassing to remember I once knew all the words to the song (took 5 minutes of Googling to find the band now) but it stands out as one of my strongest memories of UO.
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Goblin Squad Member
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I've got two, both in Vanguard:
1. After completing the Tier 1 Pota Trials, folks had to complete their "kill 100" quest. You needed a decent group, so those of us who had already maxed out Tier 3 stuff would lend a hand, but it was god-awful boring, just standing there killing stuff over and over til they got to 100. To lighten the mood, some of the officers started waiting until the new guy was at 99, and then right before the 100th mob died, they'd boot them from the group. After a while, we got to where we would just tell them the quest required them to do the last one solo. It was a little mean, but I think the new folks appreciated being able to laugh about it with the officers - it was a bonding moment.
2. Pota was divided into sections with a "safe" middle area, and then ramps leading down two sides - one to Chaos, and one to Order. We had just finished a "Chicken" raid on the Chaos side, and everybody was in that relieved, laughing mood, talking and joking around as the folks who'd just gotten their Chicken Head ran up to the middle to turn it in, while everyone else was staging further down in Chaos for some more Named kills. Anyway, there was a Named up at the bottom of the Chaos Ramp, and they're nasty enough to take out any solo character fairly quickly, and would probably one-shot the newbie squishies. The guy who found it announced it into Ventrilo "there's a Named up at the bottom of the Chaos Ramp", and of course he died. We joked about it for a bit, then somebody else came over Vent saying "Damn, I just got killed by a Named at the bottom of the Chaos Ramp". We teased him about it because he obviously wasn't paying attention when the other guy said the same thing. And then somebody else did the same thing. At the end of the night, I think that Named had killed half a dozen folks, some of them twice as they came to join us for the next bit. To this day "there's a Named up at the bottom of the Chaos Ramp" is kind of a catch phrase whenever somebody's not paying attention.
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Goblin Squad Member
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I am sure I will think of lots of things, but real quick:
I was in an intense T2 Raid in Age of Conan, with the good folks that I did that sort of thing with on a regular basis. Raids in AoC are pretty challenging and we had wiped a few times that evening. The Raid leader was getting a little impatient with us. By that I mean he was in full on screaming obscenities mode. Someone had brought in an alt with the Death inspired name of PaleRider. He had managed to pull the boss off the main tank so I shouted out a warning, accidentally saying his name wrong,
"Watch out Pole Rider, he is coming for you!"
So after a brief pause, Vent explodes in laughter. Gamers seem to have naughty minds.
We managed somehow to play through the laughter and beat the raid though, proving that levity is a great thing :)
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Goblin Squad Member
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City of Heroes had what were called "door missions", a mission given to you by your NPC contact that spawned an instanced building interior for your group. Ours was to "arrest" (slaughter) a Fifth Column cell of soldiers. There were four of us, and it was a fairly tough mission, but.after killing the boss we didn't get the "mission complete!" - a sure sign that we had missed a nasty Fifth Columnist somewhere. So we trooped back through the building; no sign of him. Standing just inside the entrance, discussing what to do, we were blindsided when the missing soldier ran up to us, punched my husband's character in the face, and ran away again.
It took us another fifteen minutes to track him down...
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Goblin Squad Member
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I'm with a group grinding away at some camp of mobs, waiting for the respawn. One of the group members is running around in circles, constantly hopping up and down, up and down, up and down, and was just generally acting like a kid.
I whisper to one of my groupmates, "I'd be willing to bet that guy is, like, 12." The next thing I know, she says into group, "So, how old is everyone?"
This guy stops his jumping as he replies, "I'm 12. How old are you?"
She responds, "I'm 27."
The next words out of this poor kid's mouth, I s**t you not, were, "Wow! You're old! My mom is 27!"
...
... <I took a moment to do the math> ...
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"Ummm... hey... just so you know... you probably should NOT tell people that. Just take my word for it - it does not reflect well upon your mom."
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Goblin Squad Member
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In Final Fantasy XI, near one of the starting cities there was a spawn point where a Notorious Monster would appear. His name was Huu Mjuu the Torrent.
Huu Mjuu had a 6% chance of dropping the Monster Signa, a level 17 staff that was very popular. At its peak, it would sell for 6.8 million gil on the Auction House. It was, therefore, not unusual in the early days of FFXI to see a dozen players camping him at the same time.
In FFXI, there were several ways that a Notorious Monster spawned: some would appear randomly in their designated area at some preset interval (hourly, daily, etc.) with no action on the part of the players required. The more elusive NMs (like Mr. Mjuu) were what we called Lottery Spawns. These NMs had 'placeholder' mobs which were of the same type as the NM (same physical model). No one really knew the exact mechanic, but it was theorized that, once defeated, these mobs had a variable chance re-spawning as the NM, instead of the regular mob.
The problem was, the placeholder mob changed from spawn to spawn within the designated area, so you had to find the right mob. The popular strategy, then, was to comb the area and kill all the mobs of the NM’s type until—hopefully—the NM would pop.
I had been camping Huu for days. I was fairly new to the game (level 25 iirc), it was in its peak, and suffering from terrible economic inflation due to gil-sellers (RMT). I desperately needed money to be able to accomplish any of my goals. I had popped Huu six or seven times total but had yet to get the drop. Huu was level 16, so the fight was difficult and always came right down to the wire. Nevertheless, I was confident and had a good strategy to pop him and take him down.
The problem was, EVERYONE wanted to make ‘the quick gil’ too. I was camp-competing with cap-leveled players for the same prize. Over and over again I did all of the work running around killing the placeholders, only to have the NM pulled right from under my nose and one-shot by some level 75 who was just standing around waiting. It was very frustrating.
So I changed my tactic. Running around killing the placeholders put me in the position that I would be too far away to even have a chance to snag the NM, if he popped. So instead I took to standing on a small hill that overlooked the spawn area, and I let the other campers kill the placeholders. I had to pan my camera back and forth across the area in order to see all the possible spawn spots. I remember my heart racing as I swung the camera back and forth, back and forth, nearly making myself nauseous.
My heart would skip a beat every time a mob would pop in one of the spawn spots. My fingers would twitch every time the flock of high level characters would suddenly jump and rush in the direction of a pop like a pack of wolves. The times between when the last placeholder was killed and the first mob re-spawned felt as if the world had stopped turning: everything went silent, everyone stood still.
And then, there he was. In front and a little to the right of me, just a tiny bit out of range of my fastest spell—Dia. The flock of high-levels was all converging on a simultaneous spawn to my left, and well out of range.
Except one Black Mage. I knew this mage. I had seen him here before, many times, and had lost Huu Mjuu to him on several occasions.
He had apparently seen the wisdom in my strategy, for he had not followed the pack and was calmly standing a few paces down the slope of the hill. To the right. A few paces in front of The Torrent.
Dammit no! Trying to adjust my eyes to the now fixed position of the camera I focus on the mage. Wait, he is facing the spawn to the left; he may not have even seen Huu unless he was doing the same crazy camera panning that I was doing!
I hit my macro for Dia. The cursor floats above Huu’s head—I hit confirm immediately. My heart soars.
“Target is out of range.”
Panic sets in.
I flail at my keyboard and somehow hit ‘w’. The Black Mage sees me and is starting to turn towards the right—he’s noticed Huu. Everything seems like it is moving in slow motion. I see Huu Mjuu charging the Black Mage; he aggroes on sight, and the mage is closer than I am.
It’s all over. My heart feels like it is going to explode. My hands are shaking.
While I’m still moving I hit Dia again. I smack the confirm button and the ‘s’ (moving interrupts spells) at the exact same time and watch as the tell-tale white flash hits Huu right in the face. He swerves from his b-line to the mage and now barrels towards me! The Black Mage’s stance changes as the spell he was casting is interrupted by my claim.
I did it! Holy shit! I got him! I can’t believe it!
…
Oh shit. I’m almost dead.
My paralysis quickly fades as I look at my health bar. I just wasted 4 or 5 seconds in a fight that usually takes all of my skill to win. Wake up Daz! This ain’t over yet!
I desperately dance with The Torrent and watch myself get closer and closer to death. I’m pulling out all of the stops and using every technique I know to stay alive as the Black Mage walks over and stands next to me, watching. He doesn't say anything. He doesn't help me. He is waiting for me to die so he can steal the spawn and laugh at this under-leveled newbie.
Like hell that is happening. By this time the other high-levels have gathered around, too. Huu and I square off in our jig of death at the centre of a silent mob. A few of them /check me. They are probably wondering what the hell I’m doing… I’m not exactly at a very safe level to be doing this.
My hit points are dangerously low. I've burned all of my best moves and spells. It’s just a matter of time now. I try to stay focused but my heart is pounding like a galley drum beating the signal for ramming speed.
Then suddenly, Huu Mjuu falls. I look at my hit points: one or two more hits, one slip on a key, or one poorly timed ability and it would have been me.
I see people cheering. One guy is doing a /dance. Wha??
Then I see it, in my chat log:
“Huu Mjuu the Torrent drops Monster Signa; Dazyk optains Monster Signa.”
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Goblin Squad Member
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City of Heroes had what were called "door missions", a mission given to you by your NPC contact that spawned an instanced building interior for your group. Ours was to "arrest" (slaughter) a Fifth Column cell of soldiers. There were four of us, and it was a fairly tough mission, but.after killing the boss we didn't get the "mission complete!" - a sure sign that we had missed a nasty Fifth Columnist somewhere. So we trooped back through the building; no sign of him. Standing just inside the entrance, discussing what to do, we were blindsided when the missing soldier ran up to us, punched my husband's character in the face, and ran away again.
It took us another fifteen minutes to track him down...
Ah, City of Heroes. "Arrest" with extreme prejudice.
And fire. Or electricity.
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Goblin Squad Member
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I'm with a group grinding away at some camp of mobs, waiting for the respawn. One of the group members is running around in circles, constantly hopping up and down, up and down, up and down, and was just generally acting like a kid.
I whisper to one of my groupmates, "I'd be willing to bet that guy is, like, 12." The next thing I know, she says into group, "So, how old is everyone?"
This guy stops his jumping as he replies, "I'm 12. How old are you?"
She responds, "I'm 27."
The next words out of this poor kid's mouth, I s**t you not, were, "Wow! You're old! My mom is 27!"
...
... <I took a moment to do the math> ...
...
"Ummm... hey... just so you know... you probably should NOT tell people that. Just take my word for it - it does not reflect well upon your mom."
At the age of 17 I found myself telling my mom you know people are not dumb.... What?.... You can't tell them I am 17, and then tell them you are (still) 29 a few mins later....
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Goblin Squad Member
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Two of my favorite moments:
1) MajorMUD: I was in a gang(guild) that one of the top players had created, which he let very few people into. I was playing a mage at that time, of a particularly intelligent yet fragile and clumsy race. The epitome of glass cannon. Players generally kept macros of action sequences even back then, and I was no different. My opening salvo made the room weak to fire and proceeded to use a lot of fire against that same room.
A few days after I joined my cousin noticed which gang I was in and wanted to join. I said to ask the guild leader, who proceeded to tell him the only way anyone could join the guild anymore was to kill me. This was news to me, but hey it was my cousin so I said I would let him swing first, knowing full well that his initial backstab would almost but not quite kill me.
He swung, and my incredibly weak and clumsy character dodged of all things. We never did get any more members.
2) I was at a buddy's house playing EverQuest with him, after a while we ended up feeling a little bored. We ported over to Kelethin (woodelf starting city) and found where the newbs were killing bees. Proceeded to charm one and give it all the best druid buffs he had: movement speed, armor, hps, regeneration, strength and a damage shield, then broke charm and watched it roll over every newb that attacked it and ran them down when they tried to get away, yelling for help with the bee. Eventually a group teamed up on it and killed it, earning the fine steel swords it was holding. It was great to see them band together, and hilarious to see them freaking out about the killer bee.
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Goblin Squad Member
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2) I was at a buddy's house playing EverQuest with him, after a while we ended up feeling a little bored. We ported over to Kelethin (woodelf starting city) and found where the newbs were killing bees. Proceeded to charm one and give it all the best druid buffs he had: movement speed, armor, hps, regeneration, strength and a damage shield, then broke charm and watched it roll over every newb that attacked it and ran them down when they tried to get away, yelling for help with the bee. Eventually a group teamed up on it and killed it, earning the fine steel swords it was holding. It was great to see them band together, and hilarious to see them freaking out about the killer bee.
Wow, that's actually a really good example of griefing. To quote from Ryan, "One thing that we're deeply committed to at Goblinworks is building a game that has a low tolerance for "griefing." Loosely defined, griefing means taking actions within the game that are designed to harass another player to elicit bad feelings without any other reasonable purpose."
That was a long time ago and I'm sure you've grown up since then. But it's not a good sign that you list it as one of your favorite moments.
P.S. Sorry to be the buzzkill (no pun intended) on this otherwise humorous thread.
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Goblin Squad Member
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EVERQUEST
This is back when I first joined Everquest, mid 90s, and I was about....oh 8-9 years old.
If you all remember there were those website where the Chinese sold/bought in game currency? keep that in mind.
Well, I was brand new to the game and sitting there, I think in Freeport, I was killing some stuff and a random elf walks up to me and trades. I accepted, intrigued, and they gave me 1 platinum piece! I was so excited.
Well, in a previous game, 1 Plat = 1,000 gold, so I totally thought I was rich. I contacted that Chinese site to trade that 1 Plat for 100$ USD! So excited, remember? Well they found me in game and asked to trade.
I handed them 1 plat, excited, and they asked where the rest was? After a few minutes of language difficulties I realized they wanted 1,000 plat. Not only was the ratio off, but I misread their site.
The fellow got angry with me, and followed me around annoying me until I signed off.......
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Goblin Squad Member
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2) I was at a buddy's house playing EverQuest with him, after a while we ended up feeling a little bored. We ported over to Kelethin (woodelf starting city) and found where the newbs were killing bees. Proceeded to charm one and give it all the best druid buffs he had: movement speed, armor, hps, regeneration, strength and a damage shield, then broke charm and watched it roll over every newb that attacked it and ran them down when they tried to get away, yelling for help with the bee. Eventually a group teamed up on it and killed it, earning the fine steel swords it was holding. It was great to see them band together, and hilarious to see them freaking out about the killer bee.Wow, that's actually a really good example of griefing. To quote from Ryan, "One thing that we're deeply committed to at Goblinworks is building a game that has a low tolerance for "griefing." Loosely defined, griefing means taking actions within the game that are designed to harass another player to elicit bad feelings without any other reasonable purpose."
That was a long time ago and I'm sure you've grown up since then. But it's not a good sign that you list it as one of your favorite moments.
P.S. Sorry to be the buzzkill (no pun intended) on this otherwise humorous thread.
I disagree. The newbie players weren't forced to deal with the bee, it wasn't blocking a quest from being completed, in essence it was creating a boss mob of the bees. This was a single bee and even though it was far more dangerous than the others it sounds like a good time and a break from the normal. In fact, I've seen GM's do similar things in games. What's really great about this story is that it was player instigated. They brought something different into the game for the newbies.
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Goblin Squad Member
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I'm sure everyone did this, but I'll tell my obvious EQ trolling story.
I remember in EverQuest that the chat log was one of your primary ways of receiving feedback. All damage, both dealt and received, would be relayed by the chat box in bright red text instead of elsewhere in the UI.
Looking at the chat box was often the only way you'd know something had dealt damage to you, as the wouldn't be damage SFX over your avatar.
I was fighting gnolls in this one enemy zone when I realized that the "shout" text colour was also red, so if you shouted something, it was hard to differentiate it from other text.
So I found a safe place and typed "A gnoll bruiser hits YOU for 30 points of damage!"
Then I watched as people jumped and spun around, looking for the gnoll behind them. Some people swore, and some laughed it off.
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Goblin Squad Member
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2) I was at a buddy's house playing EverQuest with him, after a while we ended up feeling a little bored. We ported over to Kelethin (woodelf starting city) and found where the newbs were killing bees. Proceeded to charm one and give it all the best druid buffs he had: movement speed, armor, hps, regeneration, strength and a damage shield, then broke charm and watched it roll over every newb that attacked it and ran them down when they tried to get away, yelling for help with the bee. Eventually a group teamed up on it and killed it, earning the fine steel swords it was holding. It was great to see them band together, and hilarious to see them freaking out about the killer bee.Wow, that's actually a really good example of griefing. To quote from Ryan, "One thing that we're deeply committed to at Goblinworks is building a game that has a low tolerance for "griefing." Loosely defined, griefing means taking actions within the game that are designed to harass another player to elicit bad feelings without any other reasonable purpose."
That was a long time ago and I'm sure you've grown up since then. But it's not a good sign that you list it as one of your favorite moments.
P.S. Sorry to be the buzzkill (no pun intended) on this otherwise humorous thread.
Honestly, when I read Darcnes's story, I laughed. It reminded me of lots of other similar experiences for myself in EQ. Overcoming unexpected challenges (usually: running away) was a big part of EQ, and one of the reasons it's my favorite MMO.
IIRC, most deaths in that game were completely unexpected and usually very random. Like, you could be killing pumas for days in the sand dunes in East Commons, when one day a griffon rises over the dune behind you and kills you in a few hits. In just about every zone, there was a chance that something much stronger than you was roaming around. If it 'saw' you before you saw it, it was nearly certain you would die. I've been chasing that 'look over your shoulder' feeling ever since.
Maybe it's just a rationalization, but these newbs were going to have to get used to this sort of thing from NPCs soon anyway. Better learn the lesson when there is no xp loss on death =) At any rate, if Darcnes had done this to me, it wouldn't have been griefing. Also, the typical behavior when high-levels caused mischief like this in lower-level areas was to buff the newbies or help them level for awhile. I never felt it was somebody trying to ruin my day; more like a good-natured hazing ritual.
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Sorry to get off-topic, please accept my apologies and one of my own EQ stories. I'll keep it short:
EQ was a bit of a grind, and it wasn't uncommon to see higher level characters go back to lower level zones to hang out and reminisce. My friend, a halfling druid, was in such a mood, so he offered to buff me and help me level my troll shadowknight.
So he comes over the Oasis of Marr to help me grind. While I'm grinding, he's staying near enough to run over and heal me but also looking for the random Sand Giant spawn (the higher-level spawn to watch out for in this zone) and enemy players that might try to kill me (this was the 4 team PvP server: shorties vs darkies(evils) vs... 2 others). Anyway, I'm grinding away, when another player comes over a dune and starts attacking me while I'm on a mob. I manage to kill the mob, and I'm starting to turn the tides on the aggressor. I see my friend come over a dune to check on me, and sigh relief; if I was unlucky and a mob aggroed me, I was definitely going to lose. Just as I'm about to finish the guy, my friend heals me once, then drops group and begins healing and BUFFING my enemy! See, my enemy was another shorty, so my friend could heal him without being grouped.
Long story short, I spent the next 15 or so minutes using my shadowknight ability 'shadowstep,' which teleported me to a random point a certain distance away, to try to hide on the other side of dunes or underwater while I recovered health, while my friend helped his new shorty pal find me. I think I impressed my friend with my perseverance, because after getting close several times, he finally let me kill the shorty.
Hmm, that doesn't sound funny reading it back to myself. I probably should have opened with this, but my friend's favorite cartoon character is Cartman from South Park. It's funny in an evil Cartman way, and at least it has a happy ending. Even if I had died and lost the gold I was carrying, it would have been a small price to pay for the help my friend had given me earlier, so it was easy to see the humor in it, and it certainly was a fun, unexpected challenge =P
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Goblin Squad Member
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I'm sure everyone did this, but I'll tell my obvious EQ trolling story.
I remember in EverQuest that the chat log was one of your primary ways of receiving feedback. All damage, both dealt and received, would be relayed by the chat box in bright red text instead of elsewhere in the UI.
Looking at the chat box was often the only way you'd know something had dealt damage to you, as the wouldn't be damage SFX over your avatar.I was fighting gnolls in this one enemy zone when I realized that the "shout" text colour was also red, so if you shouted something, it was hard to differentiate it from other text.
So I found a safe place and typed "A gnoll bruiser hits YOU for 30 points of damage!"
Then I watched as people jumped and spun around, looking for the gnoll behind them. Some people swore, and some laughed it off.
Haha so true.
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Goblin Squad Member
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Eventually a group teamed up on it and killed it, earning the fine steel swords it was holding.Wow, that's actually a really good example of griefing.
Ravenlute and Kakafika nailed it. Dying happened, a lot. These players got a bit of excitement, no risk of death penalty for being under level 10, and some nice gear for killing it. Those fine steel swords were gear we had handed it, along with some armor.
Looking back, I would say it would have been a bit more fair to not buff it quite so strongly, but a few of those wore off soon enough and they were killable by newbs once more.
I hope we can count on this exact level of dynamic interaction with NPCs in PFO.
P.S. Sorry to be the buzzkill (no pun intended) on this otherwise humorous thread.
Took me a sek, that was a good one!
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Goblin Squad Member
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I'm glad I'm not the only one who had that same reaction.8 or 9 in the 90s... Holy cow I am REALLY old... :-(
EVERQUEST
This is back when I first joined Everquest, mid 90s, and I was about....oh 8-9 years old.
May I recommend this thread.
I am one in the older 5 percentile.
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Goblin Squad Member
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1995-ish - Astaria, a fantasy based highly modified Diku-MUD.
Thieves had an ability to disguise themselves. They couldn't duplicate a characters name, but you could get close enough to trick people who weren't paying attention by changing a letter and making your disguise to look like the same level/class as said character.
In Astaria, there were unique armor and weapons, some being the only of it's kind in the game. Two powerful guilds were camping various mobs and stockpiling these highly sought after items. Normally these things were acquired by the appropriate Class-guilds (Fighters, Thieves, Etc) but these two clans were storing the items in there clan halls, accessible by only them.
So I disguised myself as a little known player in the less powerful clan and started PKing the enemy clan, which eventually erupted into a war that the whole game was involved in. Once War erupted, everyone started dying. People got so paranoid they would automatically start attacking people that entered the room they were in that they didn't know, pulling the un-clanned populace into things as well.
I ended up acquiring teleports by one of each clan's mages into their clan halls, a tactic often used by people who needed to escape somewhere fast. Thinking I was disguised as one of their own, they ported me right to their home. I cleaned out both clans closets, where they were keeping all that unique gear.
I ended up making a fortune selling unique items to players trying to defend themselves, saying I got the goods on the cheap from traitors in the mentioned clans. I don't know if anyone else found it funny, or figured it out, but I laughed all the way to the bank.
Was good times, and it always stuck with me that one person can influence an entire game world.
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Goblin Squad Member
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Everquest
I'll never forget the guild run to Splitpaw, back when you had to kill the Ishva Mal (a named gnoll) to get the summon corpse spell for necros. Long fight in to the bottom of the dungeon, big fight at the end, bam! I'm looting the spell.
Next thing in chat is: " Anybody seen my pet ?"
Followed an agonizingly long 8 seconds later by every gnoll in the dungeon following the pet back to the group. Biggest train we'd ever seen.
Good times.
ps
Fansy's tale: http://www.notacult.com/fansy1.htm
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Goblin Squad Member
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I ask community forgiveness for always referring to DFUW for stories. They are just the freshest.
In the Elven lands, there is a plateau that is accessible only by diving down a waterfall into a hole on the lower edge outside. Then you move up a tunnel, partway swimming and partway walking. Always empty of others, or so I had thought.
This is humorous to me, yet also a good lesson leading back to an earlier comment in another thread about PVP: "Don't be a piggy".
So anyway, in Darkfall, there is no limit to the weight that you can carry and still move very slowly or even "port" home. The spot (described above) seemed perfect to me to hang out and gather all day during work (bad boy). Gathering is pretty much set-and-forget at each node. Waddle (way over weight) to the next, ad infinitum.
Well, I check back (to go to the next node) and there is a guy bearing down on me pretty fast. We clash and he is being hurt real bad, so he pulls back. I try to pursue... waddle, waddle.... Crap! He realizes my problem and switches to bow. I frantically (crying inside) try to dump the various heavy stacks of stuff so I can charge him, but I didn't do it in time. Looking like a pincushion, I perish....
1)Don't be a piggy
2)Make sure you aren't a one-trick-pony with combat skills (cover a cpl or a few styles)
BTW: Good call Hobs. There are fewer threads that I am interested in getting involved in than normal right now.... ;)
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Goblin Squad Member
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I'll save you with a WoW story (shudder!)
In WoW my beloved cow druid could be built to tank, heal, melee dps or spell dps. From the start everyone said druids can only heal and were scared they'd all die if I tanked a 10-man vanilla dungeon because I didn't have a shield (never died or lost boss agro once). When druid tanking became popular I went melee dps and they said I'd never beat the rogues until I beat the rogues. Next expansion I went spell dps and everyone said no druids suck at that; until I was consistently top 3 damage in the most advanced available raid at the time. This was repeated for years, the entire lifetime of my druid.
Then IT happened.
Will of the Lich King 20-man raid up in the ice castle thing, the most advanced raids at the time. I was specced and geared for spell dps, working on a boss my guild just recently beat for the first time that's not on farm yet, boss at 50% health my raid starts going down one by one.
25% health it's now a 10-man raid.
10% health there's just a few of us left and I'm spotting support heals on the tank in between damage cycles.
3% health it's just me and the tank.
Bosses health bar is the tiniest red sliver and the tank goes down.
No, we are not wiping. I AM A M*%^#%@!$^G DRUID!!!
Then ensues sixty seconds that feels like about ten minutes of healy druid casting HoTs on myself, tank form DoTs and longevity tricks, spell damage on the boss, tank form again, more heals, more damag- shoot! bear form whew made it, heal again, more damage.... And 19 raid members face down snacking on dirt watching my druid do ALL their jobs- at once.
When the boss went down, druids can even resurrect other characters so there was no releasing or running back. It was -just barely- not a wipe. Every druid has a daydream, and that day I lived it.
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Goblin Squad Member
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Such an excellent story, Proxima. My first WoW character was a Druid, and I was FAR from competent (much less *that* competent), until my brother took me in hand, taught me a few things, and made him my second-favorite character, next to only my beloved Tauren Shaman...who duoed with my brother's Tauren Druid :-).
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Goblin Squad Member
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No, we are not wiping. I AM A M*%^#%@!$^G DRUID!!!
While I enjoyed reading about how pro-sauce you are at playing a druid in WoW, I didn't get the joke or levity in the story. I suppose it is possible that I have a different sense of humor.
I don't mean to nitpick here, but this is supposed to be a thread about funny stories to get the LOLz. Not a thread where we brag how cool we are.
Unless I am wrong, in which case I will gladly tell you all how I wake up every morning and piss excellence.
I will share another funny story, because I don't want to post just the above comment about Proxima Sin's inability to follow instructions :p
As a guild leader in Shadowbane I got to know a lot of my guildies fairly well. One delightful fellow had an assassin as his main toon, and when he joined the guild he swore to me that one day he would kill me. I figured it was just some cool RP thing he had going on, but this guy would backstab me from stealth all the time. I didn't mind because even if he got both backstabs to land he couldn't beat me in a one on one fight and it kept me on my toes. It got to be a running joke that at some point during a guild meeting he would pop out of stealth trying to bury his daggers in my tender minotaur flesh.
One day I went out hunting for some Discipline runes(a drop from a special mob that you needed to get a special bonus sub-class). I was alone, or so I thought, and I went about fighting and getting the Disc drop. I sat down to rest afterward and suddenly in our guild teamspeak I hear some maniacal laughter. Out of no where the assassin performs a double backstab. I had little enough life that it should have easily killed me, alas by some twist of fate I managed to parry not one, but both attacks. All I hear in teamspeak is some inhuman squeel of rage and disbelief, followed by some rather inventive cursing. He had been stalking me for over an hour, waiting for the perfect time to strike. I offered to get hurt again from some mobs and sit down so he could try again, but he said it just wouldn't be the same. So we walked back to our guild city together laughing about his rotten luck.
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Goblin Squad Member
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... it kept me on my toes... he would pop out of stealth trying to bury his daggers in my tender minotaur flesh.
Couldn't help thinking of this.
And to avoid the fate of our beloved Proxima Sin - who I imagine shared many laughs about that particular event with those who were there or who heard about it - I'll relay another tale, this time about my wife.
She played an Enchanter in EverQuest, and before we met there was an obnoxious Warrior who kept challenging her to a duel. She wasn't interested, but he wouldn't leave her alone. Finally, tired of the constant irritation, she accepted the duel, mezzed him, charmed him, ran to the top of the Spires and jumped off. She had levitate, he did not. The tale ends predictably, but he left her alone after that :)
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Goblin Squad Member
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And to avoid the fate of our beloved Proxima Sin
I was just razzing her(or is it him? The icon is a lady so I will go with that).
As far as I'm concerned, everyone here loves the idea of PFO as much as I do and so you are all my PFO family now. Therefore I am going to crack jokes at your expense, just like I do with my real life family.
Hopefully I don't actually hurt anyone's feelers, but if I do, remember that I love you.
Couldn't help thinking of this.
Classic!
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Goblin Squad Member
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I suppose I should toss one in here as well.
In Vanguard, I played a Halfling created totally to supply comic relief for other players. I basically hung out at the city bank and interacted with the patrons, using a number of "scams" so silly that it was clear I wasn't actually trying to scam players.
1. I would climb over the bank teller counter and stand at one of the empty windows. When people came in to do their banking, I would say, "Next in line, please," or "I can help you down here..." and promise that if they deposited coin to open a new account, they would win a nice gift (like the old "open an account and win a free toaster" gimmick), though in this case it was usually an odd body part off some animal or a dead fish or a rock.
2. I would walk up to someone who owned a large pet and introduce myself as a member of the city's exotic pet control commission. I would explain to them that bringing an exotic pet into town was quite dangerous and that they would need to purchase an exotic pet licence...which I could provide for a nominal fee. I actually sold quite a few of them.
3. I would walk up behind some large fighter type in shiny metal armor, and using the wave emote while typing *Blodget polishes <insert name> armor*. If they didn't respond right off the bat, I would add the typed emote *Blodget spits on <insert fighter's name> armor and continues polishing* Most actually gave me a tip. Those who didn't got an earful about how hard my life was and that I couldn't afford such fine possessions as they were sporting and here I was working my fingers to the bone to feed my wife and twelve starving children...and not even a copper piece.
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Goblin Squad Member
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No, we are not wiping. I AM A M*%^#%@!$^G DRUID!!!While I enjoyed reading about how pro-sauce you are at playing a druid in WoW, I didn't get the joke or levity in the story.
I guarantee you, practically every druid that read this was laughing. ;) There was so much druid-hate in that game.
Another funny EQ story...
Cousin and I were messing around in EC tunnel, both on alts (me a chanter, him a warrior). We had given his warrior an executioner's axe (of lguk fame, with haste proc), which served mainly as a decent axe since the proc did not work until you were much higher level. We decided to mess around and duel a bit, to which I promptly charmed him. Right about this time he got disconnected, and true to form when a PC gets disconnected, he stayed in the realm as a now NPC warrior (still charmed). Not much to do in a fight against a charmed individual right there, so I went invis to break charm.
I was still somewhat expecting either a PC-like or no reaction from this, figuring I would wait til he got back on to fight some more. His NPC controlled character had different ideas and came at me with a fully functioning exe axe. He immediately began proc spamming haste and hitting much harder than a character his level had any business hitting for, even with an exe axe.
It ended up taking several mid-level characters working together to take down a roughly level 12 warrior. He came back on and immediately asked 'wtf, why am I dead?!'
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Goblin Squad Member
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Another UO experience.
Because of the camera angle in UO, and the two dimensional, paper cut-out animation of the characters, mobs, and animals, if you walked behind animals, you could actually be overlapped sometimes. To my twisted glee, I discovered that if you managed to position a horse just right, then commanded it to "Stay", then walked behind it so that it's legs covered your legs and it's head and neck covered your torso and head, you could be completely hidden behind it. Positioned near a busy road, and with UO's equivalent of "Say" being words that floated above your head (there was no chat channel at the time), I was able to make it look like my horse was talking to passersby.
"Hey buddy...got a carrot for a poor horse who's down on his luck?"
etc.
:)
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Goblin Squad Member
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I've got another one, from a tabletop D&D campaign many, many years ago. In our group, there was a set of twins who really didn't take the game very seriously so they spent a lot of time going for laughs. It was kind of irritating at the time, but it turns out some of those laughs are the things I best remember. One of them was playing a Halfling Shaman or something named "Smallbear" and he was in full character when one of the other guys wouldn't stop talking long enough for anyone else to do anything. He leaned back in his chair, put on his best Native American Shaman impersonation, and started giving Indian Names to each member of the group. I don't remember any of the others, but when he got to that one guy, he very solemnly said "And you I shall call 'Babbling Brook With Nothing to Say'". It still makes me smile :)
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Goblin Squad Member
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!Bump!Please do not "bump" a thread. If you have something meaningful to add, please do so.
I pointed at a squirrel. That doesn't count?
But the main point of the bump was a motion for some levity since the other thread seemed having some tempers flare up.
So IMO it was meaningful and in accordance with the intent of the OP of the thread (if I am not overstepping my bounds in speaking for the intent of the op)
