I know generally speaking these forums are usually for player advocacy, but when as a GM do you say, "alright this isn't working for me anymore" and you say to the players "things need to change or I am done."
I have been playing with a group on Sundays since October, finished two modules for them and I said, "Hey, can someone else GM for a couple of weeks to give me a break?"
And they said that they would like to continue their character arcs. So I tried to ranger on but after two sessions and I would prepare some encounters and they say "Fighting again" and I just don't want to do it anymore.
I feel if they just gave me the opportunity to play for a couple of weeks I will be ok but they said "Let's not play at all for two weeks and then we can restart." Which I think defeats the purpose really. I feel I need some inspiration.....
Any help?
It's equal.
A GM should respect his players fun and there will be compromises .
Of course it goes the other way too. Players should respect a GM's fun as well. If the GM is not having fun the game will suffer more then if the players are not having fun.
Unfortunately GM'ing is difficult and not as easy as being a player. If no one is willing to step up I would recommend instead taking a break by trying out something different like a board or card game for a couple weeks.
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Have you tried Meetup.com for a group near you? The website will have different hobby groups near you.
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The DM is the one doing the vast majority of the work in allowing the players to be able to play something. Even if you're running a module it isn't a cake-walk if you want it to run with any semblance of flow.
Simply put, if you don't want to DM then someone else should step up and do it in your stead so you can play or just take a break for a while. Burnout happens with anything and everything, and DMing is no exception.
Send them all a Txt saying that you do not want to DM, you would like to play (or not) and let someone else DM for a while. If they refuse to step up to the DMing plate then the game dies and no one plays.
Just tell them you don't want to DM, you're burnt out at the moment, and you would like to settle into the far easier role of player. If no one else can handle it then encourage your group to install Everquest, and everyone be players together in a quest for epic loot.
Basically, DM burnout happens to all DMs. There is no avoiding it, but there is mediation thereof if someone else will take the role. If no one cares to even try DMing when you're burnt out then screw them, DOUBLY so if you're just running modules that don't require the DM to do any prior work.
3. The players love your campaign so much that continuing without the status quo seems unreal. (which is the same as #2 but nicer)
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You're experiencing GM burnout. It's very common... almost universal for those who GM long enough. You're right: you really need to have the burden pass from you for a while. Just taking a couple weeks off merely reduces the pressure rather than eliminating it.
Word yo. GM burn out happens to everyone and sometimes it takes more than a just a break to reset it. Sometimes you need a chance to actually play the game again and remember why you like it so much.
Try and reinforce to your players why you need the break, and maybe recommend a module that one of them can run for the group to give you your reset time. If possible, try and build a natural transition into the current game to allow the prospective player's character to exit gracefully on an important solo mission pertinent to his backstory and set the stage for your new character to become part of the group. That'll allow everyone to continue with the characters they've become attached to, lay some ground work for why the absent character has still been leveling and acquiring loot while away, and make the break less jarring.
One thing I've had a fair amount of luck with recently is "cutscene pure RP".
When I'm feeling too drained to actively GM, I haven't prepped, or things seem stale, pick a period when the PCs had some time off adventuring (or even making camp while adventuring, but it's harder), make an NPC to control, and have a "no dice" talking session.
Encourage everyone to make stuff up on the fly, so they may end up talking about their little sister, how nice the mage's Spellbook looks, or how much they just want a hot bath.
This gives you a chance to get your teeth into some relaxing roleplay with no mechanics to manage, and can also fuel future adventure ideas.
In the end, the dm has to enjoy what they are doing. This is LEISURE time. I am often on the side of player advocacy, but that is more with the basic understanding that the DM is going to have fun. Generally when you are in control of the situation (the game) you can ensure you have fun. Ofcourse, sometimes you need something you cant give yourself. You need to be able to play for a bit, recharge the old creative bateries. That is completely normal. While it is often rewarding, dming is alot of work and pressure. Sometimes you need to be able to just show up and play.
In my group we generally have 2-3 games running at a time. So everyone gets to play something. We tend to rotate session by session, but I think its a really good idea to do some kind of rotation. Assuming you have communicated your feelings and needs to your players adequately (sometimes things that are obvious in our own eyes are not so obvious to others) then you players are being very inconsiderate.
Presumably, since this is a regular home group these people are your friends. You should be able to say to them 'Hey guys, I need to just play for a while. If someone doesnt take over and run something for a time, I'm going to get burnt out completely and the campaign will stop, possibly permanently'. They should respond to that.
If they dont you need to resolve a problem in your group dynamic. Its not about who is having fun, its about friends being considerate of eachother. You are not required to run for them, its not your job. If they cant take over for a while for you, something is genuinely wrong in this social structure.
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Yeah, this happens to everyone. I'm the usual GM for my group, have run LARPS, all kinds of stuff...and once stopped GMing entirely for over a year because I was simply tired of it.
My advice? Don't be wishy-washy about this. Apologize for the inconvenience certainly, and make clear that stopping GMing isn't gonna be forever...but if you're not having fun, you should stop. Your fun is every bit as important as anyone else's.
You may have to find another group to play with for a while, and then come back to your old group, if none of them want to step up.
The last time I got burned out, playing in a game run by one of my players reminded me why I prefer to be the one running the game. I kept (mentally) second guessing decisions they made, and realized I was moving plot along much more aggressively than any of the other players.
Once I went back to running, I've never had burnout since. Sometimes it takes missing what you had to appreciate it. :P
Sometimes it takes missing what you had to appreciate it. :P
Yes. Tribal recent shortage Paladin Burgers. Sadness!
Find us, Paladins! We evil have treasure.
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GM's fun comes first. He's not an indentured servant to the PC's and he does the vast majority of the work. It should be a labor of love and if it's not, if he's not enjoying himself, absolutely no one else will either.
Having said that, if the fruit of his labors fail to entertain then he won't have players to game with and his fun will clearly suffer.
The best dynamic, in my opinion, is a GM who does something because he loves it and players who love it to gravitate towards him. Those who don't share the same opinions should find GM's elsewhere or GM themselves.
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Something that worked for me when I approached burnout was to start playing at the local Pathfinder Society. Helped me recharge between sessions. If there is no PFS in your area, look for a second group you can play in. This may be your only option if none of your players are willing to step up. Which is a common problem unfortunately. GMing requires a different set of skills and a different level of dedication than being a player. Not everyone can do it.
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So I received an email from one of the players telling me that she could run the game but the other players are angry that I won't do it. With a backhanded threat from the other saying she wouldn't play if I played.
I have been doing it not because these people are my friends but because where I live there is hardly anyone to play with, be that as it may, I am less inclined to do anything else with these people even if the other person will actually run the game.
I really do not understand why I should apologize for any inconvenience I gave them over two weeks notice.
I think I may allow them time to cool down.. and see what happens next week.
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So I received an email from one of the players telling me that she could run the game but the other players are angry that I won't do it. With a backhanded threat from the other saying she wouldn't play if I played.
I have been doing it not because these people are my friends but because where I live there is hardly anyone to play with, be that as it may, I am less inclined to do anything else with these people even if the other person will actually run the game.
I really do not understand why I should apologize for any inconvenience I gave them over two weeks notice.
I think I may allow them time to cool down.. and see what happens next week.
We have a weekly group that switched over several years ago to running two simultaneous campaigns, usually adventure paths. Game "A" runs every other week with game "B" in the alternating week, each has a different member of the group as the GM. This gives each GM 2 weeks between games instead of one, which makes a HUGE difference in your attitude and thus reduces burnout. You might try that.
So I received an email from one of the players telling me that she could run the game but the other players are angry that I won't do it. With a backhanded threat from the other saying she wouldn't play if I played.
I have been doing it not because these people are my friends but because where I live there is hardly anyone to play with, be that as it may, I am less inclined to do anything else with these people even if the other person will actually run the game.
I really do not understand why I should apologize for any inconvenience I gave them over two weeks notice.
I think I may allow them time to cool down.. and see what happens next week.
This makes me extremely pissed off because of the other players attitude and i applaud the one who stood up and offered to take on the role.
You as the DM have the right to fun and also a vacation every once and awhile. I will go ahead and state that alot of times the time off wont satisfy that burn out.
I have played pathfinder a total of 30 mins total in one game as a player. That 30 mins struck a love in me that kept me GMing for almost 2 years now. I have gone thru a couple of players that we didnt mesh well and also thru beginners GM mistakes but the group i have now are fantastic but also now that im starting to suffer the syptoms of burnout im almost feel caged even though i am not. I have 5 people (aka real life friends) in my group and 2 of the are dms of dnd of over 10 yrs while the other 3 are beginners we are trying to teach and train while having fun. The beginners i cannot ask to take up the role because of them being inexperienced and also the passive cheese the veterans do. The veterans i allow the passive cheese and will say yay or nay on somethings but i have experience in how to make everyone shine and also the veterans are excellent rolepayers. In pathfinder if u roleplay well ur character alot can be forgiven. But my veterans have sooo many years of dming under their belt and this is the first time in years they are actually able to play. Im basically tbe cure for their burnout they were experiencing before i showed up. So with these being really great friends im conflicted in what to do. Im at the point where i have forgotten how the thrill of the game effected me but i see it in their eyes and their enjoyment is pushing and pulling me forward.
I unlike you it seems could get someone to take over whereas upon reading what the one ayer said and knowing what u go thru to even be part of a game u enjoy just really presses my buttons. If u was in the NC area around forysth county id invite u to one of my games.
Ok sorry my rants over
So I received an email from one of the players telling me that she could run the game but the other players are angry that I won't do it. With a backhanded threat from the other saying she wouldn't play if I played.
What!?! That is so messed up I almost flagged the post for that player being a jerk!
Sounds like you have some good players (like the one willing to GM), and some sorry excuses for a human (like the one threatening to walk). I hope you can sort this out in a way that works for you!
Really, everyone, players and DMs, should care about everyone's fun equally. TTRPGs are a team sport, and should be approached with the goal of everyone maximizing everyone's fun.
Player advocacy tends to arise on these forums because one, there are more players than DMs, and two, often times, a lot of the complaints I see on these boards about a player being OP tends to be caused less by the fact that the player is a heartless munchkin, and more because they happen to have a lot of system mastery so traditional tactics do not work well on them.
TTRPGs are also a social gathering, and if you're a DM and you're getting burned out, talk to people about it. If it's because of someone's bad habits (for example, I know someone who sometimes plays at our table that has a really bad habit of questioning the rules legality of something at the first signs of a situation turning south for the players), talk to them about it politely. There's a chance they'll understand, or perhaps not even realize they are doing it and they will adjust their behavior. Most people playing dnd do not actively want to be insufferable a#!!+%~s. If someone's optimized characters are making it too hard to design encounters that fairly challenge the whole party, talk to them about it. Work out a solution that's fun for everyone, and don't immediately turn to forcing them to gimp their character or placing heavy restrictions on them. Once again, most people don't want to be the guy ruining someone's fun, and an optimizer might actually enjoy being able to discuss the success points of their character and help you design encounters that give them a unique challenge while still being fair to the others. If you need time on the other side of the table, someone might be interested in running a game. If they are unsure or are daunted by the prospect of being a DM, help them out a bit; demystify the position, push them in the right direction, and you might suddenly find that your group now has one more person willing to run session. A little communication goes a long way, and the best games I've taken part in lend part of their success to good communication.