"I go into stealth." and Other Ways to Annoy Your GM

[The Morphling]

To start, let me preface this by saying this is meant to be a light-hearted thread to point out a few annoying habits of some players, rather than an attempt to insult or shame anyone. I've noticed a couple of recurring things players seem to not realize they're doing wrong.

There is no phrase in the world more aggravating to me as a GM (or even as a player) when the rogue at the table says "I go into stealth" while in the middle of a wide-open, well-lit chamber. How difficult can it be to understand that hiding requires, well, something to hide behind? Most players who do this are repeat offenders, too. They go "Oh, okay." when their mistake is pointed out, and then attempt it again while marching down the center of the next well-lit hallway, fifteen feet in front of the paladin in full plate.

Another thing that bugs me is when a player looks at the GM and says "Give me a Will save." Especially when this is the eleventh time this evening that I've repeated the phrase "Okay, which monster? Against what? Which variety of Evil Eye are you using this time?" (It's probably baseless, but when I hear "Slumber Hex" every time I say "Ok, he failed, what did you use?" and "Evil Eye" every time I say "he made the save, what hex were you using?" it gets suspicious.)

What have your players (or other players or GMs, if not the GM) done that just make you grind your teeth a bit? Remember, please keep this civil and polite!

[BigNorseWolf]

Surprise round! You didn't say you were looking.

[godsDMit]

The Morphling wrote:

Another thing that bugs me is when a player looks at the GM and says "Give me a Will save." Especially when this is the eleventh time this evening that I've repeated the phrase "Okay, which monster? Against what? Which variety of Evil Eye are you using this time?" (It's probably baseless, but when I hear "Slumber Hex" every time I say "Ok, he failed, what did you use?" and "Evil Eye" every time I say "he made the save, what hex were you using?" it gets suspicious.)

The proper response to this behavior after about the third time they do this is pick up the die, drop it while looking them in the eye and say 'It makes the save' before the die stops moving. :P

To add to the list:

Player: I pick up a small stone before we go in.
GM: Ok?
Player: I toss it 5ft in front of me. Does anything happen?
GM: No.
Player: I pick it up and toss it 5ft in front of me. Does anything happen?
GM: No?
Player: I pick it up and...

[zefig]

"I attack!" *Dice roll*

"...okay, what were you attacking?"

"Oh, umm..is that guy an enemy?"

[The Morphling]

Seth Gipson wrote:

The proper response to this behavior after about the third time they do this is pick up the die, drop it while looking them in the eye and say 'It makes the save' before the die stops moving. :P

Hehe. My response was to just ask all these questions ahead of time, every time, and never tell him the result of the die roll. I'd ask the DC, the hex, and the type, make the roll, and say "He passed" or "He failed." Got annoying to have to ask it over and over again though.

Though let me tell you, the level 8 undead cleric with a +15 Will Save at the end of a particular scenario was hilarious against the mind-affecting witch. Saved against or was immune to seven hexes in seven rounds. Only thing that downed him was a last-round-before-TPK searing light crit for near max damage from a level 7 Kyra.

[Yiroep]

"I attack!" *Rolls* "I got a 19 on the die, that's...."

"O.K. You're a barbarian, right?"

"Yeah..."

"Did you use Power Attack? Are you Raging?"

*Looks at die* "...yeah."

*I roll my eyes*

The problem with this:

They say they are raging and power attacking after the fact that they rolled a 19 on the die, which in most cases is a hit. They wouldn't want to power attack if they rolled lower so they have a better chance of hitting, and they wouldn't want to rage is they're just gonna miss because they don't want the lowered AC. I usually try to ask if they're doing those things before they roll, but I don't always catch it in time.

[Doug Miles]

Player: "I shoot the monster with my bow. Using rapidshot and haste I'll have four attacks this round...Does a 23 hit?"

GM: "Yes, a 23 hits. Damage?"

Player: "Ummm, 12 points of damage. Next shot, does a 24 hit?"

GM: "..."

[Vrog Skyreaver]

When people "remind" me of damage bonuses they got 2 turns ago. If you just missed it, I understand, but if you've taken a full turn and missed it again, I'm probably going to nod my head like I heard you and then not adjust enemy hp totals at all.

The flip of the coin to this, however, is how annoying it is to constantly remind someone that they have bardsong, haste, or blessing of fervor.

[Alexandros Satorum]

I use diplomacy on him.

[BigNorseWolf]

Vrog Skyreaver wrote:

When people "remind" me of damage bonuses they got 2 turns ago. If you just missed it, I understand, but if you've taken a full turn and missed it again, I'm probably going to nod my head like I heard you and then not adjust enemy hp totals at all.

The flip of the coin to this, however, is how annoying it is to constantly remind someone that they have bardsong, haste, or blessing of fervor.

I'm with the buffer on that one. Their entire way of contributing to the fight IS that buff. If you're not using it, their actions (and existance) are meaningless..

You'd think bards would be used to that but ow.. ow. hey! OW.

[Jiggy]

Player: *rolls dice* "All three hit, 84 damage."

GM: "Wait, but what did you do?"

Player: "Full-attacked."

GM: "How do you know you hit with all three attacks?"

Player: "Well they were all in excess of X."

GM: "Yeah, but now he's out of Point-Blank range, has cover, is prone which gives +4 versus ranged attacks, [list continues], so what did you actually roll on those attacks?"

Player: "Oh, okay. Let's see, it was X, Y and Z."

GM: "Only one of those hit. You need to announce your rolls, because things can change."

Player: "Okay, sure, no problem."

Rest of the night...

Player: *rolls dice* "All three hit, XX damage..."

[Yiroep]

Doug Miles wrote:

Player: "I shoot the monster with my bow. Using rapidshot and haste I'll have four attacks this round...Does a 23 hit?"

GM: "Yes, a 23 hits. Damage?"

Player: "Ummm, 12 points of damage. Next shot, does a 24 hit?"

GM: "..."

I sometimes say "no" the second time. It really trips them up. :p

[BigNorseWolf]

Its funny watching how many of these directly contradict each other.

[Jayson MF Kip]

Alexandros Satorum wrote:

I use diplomacy on him.

Corrollary:

Guy who is making a well-reasoned diplomatic argument: "I want to assist him in Diplomacy," pointing to the half-asleep Aasimar Life Oracle who hasn't said anything in 10 minutes but has a good diplomacy number.

EDIT: (For Lamontius)

If you have a good argument, make the argument yourself. Roll your diplomacy- -it may get a circumstance bonus if I'm GMing, but making a good argument doesn't mean someone else at the table gets to roll your skill check for you.

[Lamontius]

something helpful for posting in this thread might be to highlight the thing that annoys you...then provide a good method for correcting that item

that way this can be helpful to anyone who reads something they may do at the gaming table

[anthonydido]

Jiggy wrote:

Player: *rolls dice* "All three hit, 84 damage."

GM: "Wait, but what did you do?"

Player: "Full-attacked."

GM: "How do you know you hit with all three attacks?"

Player: "Well they were all in excess of X."

GM: "Yeah, but now he's out of Point-Blank range, has cover, is prone which gives +4 versus ranged attacks, [list continues], so what did you actually roll on those attacks?"

Player: "Oh, okay. Let's see, it was X, Y and Z."

GM: "Only one of those hit. You need to announce your rolls, because things can change."

Player: "Okay, sure, no problem."

Rest of the night...

Player: *rolls dice* "All three hit, XX damage..."

Ugh...I really hate this!

On the flip side though I love rolling outrageous numbers to hit (knowing full well they hit) and asking "Does a 52 hit?"

I also hate what someone else mentioned about spells when a player just says "monster x needs to roll a will save".

OK, what spell is it? What's the DC?

I had a player complain one time that I get to see their dice but I hide mine. I said "Yup, I'm the GM. That's how I roll." (<== See what i did there?)

[Nathan Hartshorn]

Anthony DiDomenico wrote:

I had a player complain one time that I get to see their dice but I hide mine. I said "Yup, I'm the GM. That's how I roll."

Heh. Bad puns.

[godsDMit]

Anthony DiDomenico wrote:

I had a player complain one time that I get to see their dice but I hide mine. I said "Yup, I'm the GM. That's how I roll." (<== See what i did there?)

No, I don't. Would you mind explaining it to me?

[anthonydido]

Seth Gipson wrote:

Anthony DiDomenico wrote:

I had a player complain one time that I get to see their dice but I hide mine. I said "Yup, I'm the GM. That's how I roll." (<== See what i did there?)

No, I don't. Would you mind explaining it to me?

Pssh. Not for you. :P

[godsDMit]

Anthony DiDomenico wrote:

Seth Gipson wrote:

Anthony DiDomenico wrote:

I had a player complain one time that I get to see their dice but I hide mine. I said "Yup, I'm the GM. That's how I roll." (<== See what i did there?)

No, I don't. Would you mind explaining it to me?

Pssh. Not for you. :P

:(

[nosig]

1) rolling dice and picking them up to read them... esp. if it takes more than 10 seconds to say "I got a natural 20"
2) Me: "ok, what do you do?" look up and see 5 blank stares, and one guy reading his iPad...
3) Telling another player at my table: "you can't take 10 on (insert skill here), you have a chance of failure/takes 10 times as long/can't on Knowledge skills/one of a hundred other reasons"
4) Talking over another player.
5) answering a phone at the table, and talking for 10 minutes (a minute or 3 as you turn away from the table, or get up and walk away... sure).
6) Ignoring input from another player because they are young / female / soft spoke / shy

[redward]

The Morphling wrote:

Another thing that bugs me is when a player looks at the GM and says "Give me a Will save."

This used to bother me, but then I realized that it's the exact same thing I would say to a player as a GM. So it could easily be considered learned behavior. I'll usually respond by saying something like "what am I saving against? I need to know in case it's immune."

[redward]

To add to the list:

Having a side conversation while the GM is talking to the group. I don't mind it when I'm resolving attacks between a PC and an NPC, but when I'm describing something to the group, it's distracting and disrespectful. Especially when it's not related to the game at hand.

Oddly, I've found it bothers me more as a player than as a GM.

[nosig]

redward wrote:

The Morphling wrote:

Another thing that bugs me is when a player looks at the GM and says "Give me a Will save."

This used to bother me, but then I realized that it's the exact same thing I would say to a player as a GM. So it could easily be considered learned behavior. I'll usually respond by saying something like "what am I saving against? I need to know in case it's immune."

I've been on the recieveing end of this from a judge too - his "Make a Will save" is sometimes replied to with "make an SR check", or I might start listing the bonuses I get... is it a fear effect, demon caster, sleep effect, illusion, pain effect, shadow magic, sonic, language dependant, ...

[Charlie Bell]

redward wrote:

The Morphling wrote:

Another thing that bugs me is when a player looks at the GM and says "Give me a Will save."

This used to bother me, but then I realized that it's the exact same thing I would say to a player as a GM. So it could easily be considered learned behavior. I'll usually respond by saying something like "what am I saving against? I need to know in case it's immune."

"Make a Spellcraft check and I'll tell you." :p

[nosig]

Charlie Bell wrote:

redward wrote:

The Morphling wrote:

Another thing that bugs me is when a player looks at the GM and says "Give me a Will save."

This used to bother me, but then I realized that it's the exact same thing I would say to a player as a GM. So it could easily be considered learned behavior. I'll usually respond by saying something like "what am I saving against? I need to know in case it's immune."

"Make a Spellcraft check and I'll tell you." :p

can I take 10 on that? ;)

[Nefreet]

"I go into partial defense."

[TOZ]

Charlie Bell wrote:

"Make a Spellcraft check and I'll tell you." :p

"The laws of magic auto succeed."

[gnoams]

I try to answer as many questions as I can ahead of time to avoid a lot of this stuff. For saves I say make a will save vs mind affecting compulsion, or make a fort save vs poison. Always err on the side of being as specific as possible, I find it saves time in the long run.

[redward]

gnoams wrote:

I try to answer as many questions as I can ahead of time to avoid a lot of this stuff. For saves I say make a will save vs mind affecting compulsion, or make a fort save vs poison. Always err on the side of being as specific as possible, I find it saves time in the long run.

I love it when players do this. Makes my life so much easier. At high levels, also nice to ask "do I need to make an SR check?"

[Viskous]

Our local VL, which I gm for a lot always pulls the make a save routine when playing his bard.

I've gotten used to it.

All of these things mentioned can be annoying.

But the truly most annoying is the person who doesn't pay attention and is sleeping or playing around on his laptop when we are playing and is never ready for their turn and then demands answers about the knowledge check that others players made, while they weren't paying attention.

[BigNorseWolf]

For the buffers:

If the ac is going anywhere close, say the ac, point at the bard and add the one.

If the damage is say, 21, you say "21, 22 bard."

[Finlanderboy]

When players do not know how to play their own characters and they have played them for a long time.

I had an level 8 alchemist claim he did his splash damage for every square a creaure is in(so large creature take the splash 7 times). I had a level 11 druid insist they could cast any spell (wizard/cleric/whatever) spontaneously. A level 6 gunslinger that they did not add strength to gun damage.

The problem is they have been doing it for so many games they fight me to the teeth with these. The gunslinger actually told me, well the book does not say I do not add strength so you can not prove I am wrong.

[Furious Kender]

nosig wrote:

3) Telling another player at my table: "you can't take 10 on (insert skill here), you have a chance of failure/takes 10 times as long/can't on Knowledge skills/one of a hundred other reasons"

FYI, almost all of this is from D&D and didn't get ported into pathfinder.

[Finlanderboy]

Ohh another one that upsets me. I had a player reading the module as we were playing, and I was annoyed by that, but figured I could not stop them. Then when they told the table I was playing it wrong and I had to stop the game to tell them they were reading the wrong teir and to put the **** thing away so other people can enjoy the game!

[Matthew Morris]

nosig wrote:

redward wrote:

The Morphling wrote:

Another thing that bugs me is when a player looks at the GM and says "Give me a Will save."

This used to bother me, but then I realized that it's the exact same thing I would say to a player as a GM. So it could easily be considered learned behavior. I'll usually respond by saying something like "what am I saving against? I need to know in case it's immune."

I've been on the recieveing end of this from a judge too - his "Make a Will save" is sometimes replied to with "make an SR check", or I might start listing the bonuses I get... is it a fear effect, demon caster, sleep effect, illusion, pain effect, shadow magic, sonic, language dependant, ...

As a GM, I'm known for asking for saves for no reason (except paranoia)

Spoiler:

Saturday, playing on trap fears.

"Ok I'll open the door."
"Make a reflex save."
"Is it poison? Magic? Mind Affecting."
"Mind Affecting."
"Ok, so I get a plus 1. Wait, a reflex save that's mind affecting?"
"Yup."
"Ok, 21, does that make it?"
"Yes."
"So what happened?"
"Nothing."
"huh?"
"Well when the GM is stoking paranoia, it's always mind affecting."

[Furious Kender]

I always ask people to describe their characters, such as what they look like etc, so I can have NPCs react to them appropriately. So after 1-2 players describe how their characters look and act, commonly someone says "I'm a level 5 cleric" or whatever class and then turns to the next player to hear their character description.

Getting some players to describe basic things about their character can be like pulling teeth. When players, after hearing other players give descriptions, still don't get what they need to do, I have learned to ask specific things like, "so what type of armor are you wearing. What race are you. Do you have an obvious accent or culture?"

[Kurthnaga]

BigNorseWolf wrote:

Its funny watching how many of these directly contradict each other.

Agreed. Personally as a GM I find it annoying when players want to consult their books for every thing that is slightly ambiguous, or things that may not even have game mechanics attached. I'm much more in favor of the, "Judgement call, this is how "X" works for now, we'll address it at a natural break point/after the session."

Also, even moreso as a player, I get frustrated with the constant calls for perception. It really is pure tedium to do so at every door and portal. I will give you a perception check where important, or ideally have you preroll secret ones, but I feel like checking every single place really bogs down the game play and excitement of the scenario. I've actually eaten a trap twice on my paladin for this impatience, but it never ended up significantly negatively impacting me anyway. I find the flow of the game much more important. Besides, a 7 int/7 wis paladin is bound to face first a few traps in his career.

[Bigdaddyjug]

Nathan Hartshorn wrote:

Anthony DiDomenico wrote:

I had a player complain one time that I get to see their dice but I hide mine. I said "Yup, I'm the GM. That's how I roll."

Heh. Bad puns.

Trust me, he's full of them.

[roysier]

Someone role plays well and I allow a diplomacy skill check and suddenly a bunch of other players start rolling dice and start saying "I assist".

My answer: "I don't think so. You must role play in some capacity to assist".

[Chris O'Reilly]

I see people do the save thing but with spells, when the dm rolls high its always "Oh good thing I was only casting a first level spell!..." Same with casting defensively, actually.

My pet annoyance is when someone goes to roll for something like sense motive or perception to detect traps or search a room, sees they rolled low, and then has to call everyone else to come make the same roll.

Well that and people thinking you need to hold a summit meeting every round to discuss tactics.

[Gwen Smith]

Kurthnaga wrote:

Also, even moreso as a player, I get frustrated with the constant calls for perception. It really is pure tedium to do so at every door and portal. I will give you a perception check where important, or ideally have you preroll secret ones, but I feel like checking every single place really bogs down the game play and excitement of the scenario. I've actually eaten a trap twice on my paladin for this impatience, but it never ended up significantly negatively impacting me anyway. I find the flow of the game much more important. Besides, a 7 int/7 wis paladin is bound to face first a few traps in his career.

I often go with "My take 10 on Perception is 22, 24 for traps. I'll be doing that as we're walking."

[Finlanderboy]

Dorothy Lindman wrote:

Kurthnaga wrote:

Also, even moreso as a player, I get frustrated with the constant calls for perception. It really is pure tedium to do so at every door and portal. I will give you a perception check where important, or ideally have you preroll secret ones, but I feel like checking every single place really bogs down the game play and excitement of the scenario. I've actually eaten a trap twice on my paladin for this impatience, but it never ended up significantly negatively impacting me anyway. I find the flow of the game much more important. Besides, a 7 int/7 wis paladin is bound to face first a few traps in his career.

I often go with "My take 10 on Perception is 22, 24 for traps. I'll be doing that as we're walking."

I would love to have peopel do that

[Disk Elemental]

GM - "Alright, you open the door, and see another door to the east. This room is--"

Player 1: I cast open/close on the door

Player 2: take 10 for a 15

Player 3: take 10 for an 18

Player 1: take 10 for a 9

Player 4:(looking up from his phone) I take 20 for a 35

Player 3: I cast open/close on the -

Player 4: sorry it's 38 vs. traps

Player 3: - door

Player 1: I have low light so do I get a bonus?

Player 4: (resumes looking at his phone)

Player 2: I magehand the door open, does my 15 see anything?

Player 1: What do I see in the room with a 9?"

GM: Cries a little inside

Repeat for every single room in the dungeon.

Also,

Important NPC: "By the gods, why would they do this to my son? Whoever did this foul deed must be punished immediately, and I must prepare my child for burial."

Player 1: I loot the body

Player 2: Good idea, maybe he has some gold

Player 3: I cast detect magic on the body, looking for any magic items

Important NPC: "What are you doing, get away from him you filthy Heathens!" draws weapon

Players: ooc - WTF, why don't you want us to have any loot? This sucks.

GM: cries a little inside

[Mikaze]

NPC: Why should I help you, when your very presence has brought us only pain and loss? Tomorrow I bury my only children, slain because of this curse your greed has unleashed upon our village. All after we welcomed you among us. Tell me, why should I offer you anything more than prayers for your own deaths?

Alexandros Satorum wrote:

I use diplomacy on him.

GM and other players: >:(

[Cao Phen]

Kurthnaga wrote:

BigNorseWolf wrote:

Its funny watching how many of these directly contradict each other.

Agreed. Personally as a GM I find it annoying when players want to consult their books for every thing that is slightly ambiguous, or things that may not even have game mechanics attached. I'm much more in favor of the, "Judgement call, this is how "X" works for now, we'll address it at a natural break point/after the session."

Also, even moreso as a player, I get frustrated with the constant calls for perception. It really is pure tedium to do so at every door and portal. I will give you a perception check where important, or ideally have you preroll secret ones, but I feel like checking every single place really bogs down the game play and excitement of the scenario. I've actually eaten a trap twice on my paladin for this impatience, but it never ended up significantly negatively impacting me anyway. I find the flow of the game much more important. Besides, a 7 int/7 wis paladin is bound to face first a few traps in his career.

Well, you and the druid that one time took too long to figure out something, so the Fighter placed the plank on the body....

[Ross J.]

My biggest thing is the quick rollers.

Me: Roll X

Quick Roller: *dice still in motion* I got a 21

Me: How?

Quick Roller: Uhmmm I ... *paper shuffle* have a bonus too...

[BigNorseWolf]

Disk Elemental wrote:

GM - "Alright, you open the door, and see another door to the east. This room is--"

Player 1: I cast open/close on the door

Player 2: take 10 for a 15

Player 3: take 10 for an 18

This is roughly the speech I give.

"You are semi professional quasi trained barely housebroken murder ho.. gentleman explorers. I assume that, by virtue of your characters not being dead, they are not idiots. Unless circumstances dictate that you're running down the hallway without time to look, i assume you ARE looking."

Its absolutely amazing how much time that frees up.

[Kurthnaga]

Cao Phen wrote:

Kurthnaga wrote:

BigNorseWolf wrote:

Its funny watching how many of these directly contradict each other.

Agreed. Personally as a GM I find it annoying when players want to consult their books for every thing that is slightly ambiguous, or things that may not even have game mechanics attached. I'm much more in favor of the, "Judgement call, this is how "X" works for now, we'll address it at a natural break point/after the session."

Also, even moreso as a player, I get frustrated with the constant calls for perception. It really is pure tedium to do so at every door and portal. I will give you a perception check where important, or ideally have you preroll secret ones, but I feel like checking every single place really bogs down the game play and excitement of the scenario. I've actually eaten a trap twice on my paladin for this impatience, but it never ended up significantly negatively impacting me anyway. I find the flow of the game much more important. Besides, a 7 int/7 wis paladin is bound to face first a few traps in his career.

Well, you and the druid that one time took too long to figure out something, so the Fighter placed the plank on the body....

That wasn't a mechanics thing if I remember correctly. That was an avoid the resetting trap that wont stop. I have no problem with tactical breaks. If I'm mistaken correct me, I'm not above getting frustrated with myself for taking too long either.

[Paladin of Baha-who?]

This mostly happens with kids, but...

Me: "Roll initiative."

Them: "Wait, where on my sheet is that again?"