The industrious goblins, now joined by the toad-chucking potion pusher, head back into the musty manor, determined to find something to eat and loot to pillage. Oh, and to smash any baddies for the chief! Following the hallway to the large open room, Mugmuff checks the northern door for signs of traps before throwing it open. The dusty room revealed features a long couch caked with white sheets of wispy fungus. Eddies of dust skitter along the warped floorboards as if caught up by a slight breeze, yet no wind is noticeable in the air. Along the eastern wall is a large fireplace, the wooden logs covered with a thick layer of slick fungus.
Nurpus, seeing the disturbed dust, looks around for baddies to shoot.
Bart, getting hungrier and hungrier moves to the fireplace to try and eat the fungus off a log.
Torch moves to light the fire, more out of some unconscious desire than for warmth.
Bart tries to scarf down his tasty fungus covered log before Torch lights it on fire.
Nurpus scans the room for something worth putting a bullet in, as it had been far too long since Purpus had a chance to blast the life out of some foul beast. Bart and Torch shuffle into the room, pushing and shoving each other in an attempt to get at the nasty looking fireplace first. Bart, shoving Torch against the couch, makes it first and pulls out a handful of the foul looking slime-fungus, quickly popping it into his mouth with a smile. As the disgusting tasting slime rolls down the back of his throat he feels a shiver cross his spine. A brief flash of a strange memory enters his otherwise empty, yet giant, head. His mind suddenly swims with worry about what his husband might be doing on those late nights spent in the basement. An instant later, Bart, suddenly convinced that Torch is his child, develops a powerful urge to escape the house with him before something horrible happens. He spits out what remains of the fungus and reaches out for Torch, grabbing him in a headlock and trying to drag him from the room. However, the alchemist is far too spry for such a clumsy attempt and avoids Bart's headlock with ease.
Mugmuff watches Bart try to wrestle with Torch and sighs, shakes his head. "You gobs is idiots. Why you trying to make boom-boom wiff Torch, Bighead?" Mugmuff looks around the room for anything threatening or valuable.
"WHAT YOU IDIOTS DOING???"
Agna stands at the door, watching the two struggle and trying to understand their sudden quarrel.
For a brief moment you see the dust on the floor being disturbed in front of the fireplace, as if someone was pacing in front of it. Then like a whisper on the wind, you hear a woman’s voice whisper, “Lorey”, and then there is silence.
"Dumb 1, Dumb 2, stop it or I's gonna shoot!"
Nurpus points at them with furious Purpus.
Bart screams
Having failed to grapple Torch, Bart quickly tries to think of another way to get Torch out, suddenly his goblin brain clicks. Torch leave buildings after they catch fire...
Bart grabs one of his fire vials and uses it to light the table on fire.
Bart, a stroke of pure genius entering his oversized and misshapen head, breaks a vial of liquid flame against the table in the room, hoping to cause a conflagration that will surely send the little Torch screaming. Much to his dismay, when the vial explodes, the fire sputters and dies after a brief second, the flames unable to take hold on the moldy and mildewing furniture. The fact that wood won't burn is truly a terrifying sight indeed, one that boggles Torch's unsteady mind to the very core.
"Gah! Be big bad magics in dis place!" Torch screams, backing towards the exit. "We's be going, now?!"
Bards nods vigorously and starts pushing Torch out the door.
Bart shoos Torch out of the house like a child that got caught breaking into the cookie jar, the alchemist all too happy to comply and completely put off by the constant hauntings in the manor. As Bart and Torch step outside they see flocks of what appear to be ravens rise up from the now still bodies of the camping goblins along the road, quickly rushing towards the two goblins in a fit of cawing and squawking. As they get closer, both goblins can see bits of feather and flesh buzzing around the swarms of rotting ravens like flies, countless lifeless eyes staring out from the chaos. Deep inside the manor, the rest of the party hears the noise from outside and sees the two goblins standing in the front doorway, hastily grasping at their weapons.
Mugmuff races to follow Bart and Torch, pulling out an alchemist fire and his sword as he does so.
Bart calls out to Flappy that it's lunch time!
Flappy comes swooping out of the trees!
Bart bravely, because he's the bestest bravest goblinist, steps forward, pulls out his last fire vial and chucks it at some birds that flappy isn't eating.
Bart looks down at Torch "Why you ruin shot?"
Agna also follows the other goblins to the door and sees the swarm of crows.
Torch gives Bart a look of indignation. "Torch not ruin shot! Bart is worstest thrower!"
Bart thinks to himself Next time might be easier to just throw Torch, he has plenty of fire.
Nurpus also hurries outside.
Bart shouts out to the bat hiding in the bushes, who quickly flies into the swarm of rotting birds, chomping and biting at them as the quickly surround the warm blooded creature. Bart then chucks a vial of liquid flame at the creatures, which falls short but manages to splash some of the birds with fire. Kovak, still starting at the fungus in the fireplace, suddenly realizes the group is under attack and rushes towards the door.
The birds, hungry for more goblin flesh, rush towards the approaching group, cawing loudly as they descend upon the hapless goblins. The swarms surround the gobs quickly and soon each of the heroic greenskins is covered in dozens of biting and pecking undead ravens!
Agna starts hurling from the smell of the rotting birds, and moves away from them.
Bart quickly pulls out his giant hammer and starts trying to squish large numbers of crows.
Flappy keeps eating birds.
Mugmuff throws his alchemist fire past Nurpus and into the space just south and east of Nurpus.
Torch waves his namesake weapon about madly, trying to disperse the swarm. Seeing that it haves no effect, he takes a few steps back and begins to prepare a bomb.
Nurpus glares back over his shoulder, takes a step back, and shoots the birds near him.
Bart swings his hammer in wide arcs around his oversized noggin, taking out swaths of undead birds in the process. Flappy continues to snack on the beasts and appears to be making fine progress, with few remaining to threaten the bat. Agna, new to the group and not used to their tactics, throws up all over Torch before running back into the house. Mugmuff chucks a bottle of fire past Nurpus, which explodes all over the flapping dead birds and burns them, and Nurpus, badly. Torch swings his torch around, flinging bits of Agna vomit over the birds, which they quickly eat as they continue to attack the goblin. Realizing that feeding the birds might not be the best idea, Torch gets a bright idea, steps back, and behinds to mix some foul smelling liquids together. Nurpus, taking careful aim, fires a bullet into the massive swarm of over 1000 ravens. In a strange and mysterious event, similar to that of certain recent cinema experiences, the bullet somehow manages to hit at the precise angle needed to go through all 1000 bird skulls at once, killing each and everyone one of them as the flying mass of dead avian creatures collapses.
The remaining three swarms close in, biting and pecking at Flappy, Bart, and Nurpus.
Bart rolls his big head out of the way and concentrates on the bats flappy is having trouble digesting.
While Flappy continues to eat the bats, indigestion appears to be beginning to set in.
Torch launches his bomb at the swarm .
fire
"Good shot Nurp! Now move back, I shoots them with fire!"
Flappy consumes the last bits of swarming raven goodness just as Bart chops the last few birds out of the air around him. Torch, his mixing completed, flings a bomb towards the remaining swarm, the projectile igniting in a roaring ball of fire which quickly expands to consume the vile undead ravens, singing nearby eyebrows in the process!
"Don't eat. They already dead birds... before we kill them. Yuck."
"Roasted birds, now." Torch points out.
"No eating black chickens? too bad, Bart will be sad."
Bart eats one anyway as Flappy returns to her tree.
Bart then pouts that nothing tastes good around here.
"Alright gobbos. Let's get back in there."
"Nope," Torch says, sitting on the ground. "Longshanks' house not nachural, no burn. Torch not go back inside."
Bart looks around for something good to eat, his stomach having gotten the better of his brain.
Any anthills around?
Bart immediately begins scanning the area, hoping for a tasty snack while the other goblins grumble and stand around scratching their rear ends. Before too long he spots a few ants moving towards a dirt ridden area, and figures he's found himself an anthill for sure. As he nears the dirt the ground around him suddenly begins to tremble and shake, and a gout of dirt sprays into the air over a dozen feet high. When the dust settles he finds himself facing a gigantic burrowing insect with an oversized abdomen. A terrifying set of long, hooked mandibles protrudes from its head.
"Now you dood it, numb-head!" Torch exclaims, making sure that his torch is alight. As he moves closer, he draws forth the components for another bomb.
Bart shouts back "Did dinner it, I did!"
Bart scrambles up and bites it.
"Ack! Kills it with fire!"
Agna casts summon minor monster and fiendish toad pops into her hand. She looks at it and scowls. "Where your freinds, stupid toad?"
The toad looks up at the ugly goblin and gives a gurgling "Ribbbbitt" in reply, looking rather unhappy at being summoned from whatever lily pad it was formerly resting upon.