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"I realize you probably haven't had the sort of life and experiences that would allow you to understand me, even, let alone Calistria. I want you to know that I don't fault you for that."
And then he raises an eyebrow and says, "Keep it up, and I'll smite that evil bottom of yours, you little minx."
WE ARE SITTING ON A GOLDMINE HERE GUYS
"I realize you probably haven't had the sort of life and experiences that would allow you to understand me, even, let alone Calistria. I want you to know that I don't fault you for that."And then he raises an eyebrow and says, "Keep it up, and I'll smite that evil bottom of yours, you little minx."
WE ARE SITTING ON A GOLDMINE HERE GUYS
And of course, the obvious reply:
"Oooh, maybe you understand Calistria better than I thought..." *giggle, wink*| 4 people marked this as a favorite. |
"I realize you probably haven't had the sort of life and experiences that would allow you to understand me, even, let alone Calistria. I want you to know that I don't fault you for that."And then he raises an eyebrow and says, "Keep it up, and I'll smite that evil bottom of yours, you little minx."
WE ARE SITTING ON A GOLDMINE HERE GUYS
And of course, the obvious reply:
"Oooh, maybe you understand Calistria better than I thought..." *giggle, wink*
"In your dreams, wench. I only assumed your bottom was evil because it most certainly does not look GOOD!"
OMG FACED BY A PALADIN!
And then the paladin and his bonded mount totally hi5!
Or hoof5 or whatever man I don't know
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Fun (and relatively minor) revenge.
Hire bards, per rumor mongering suggestion above to spread some sort of nickname or grossly exaggerated affectation or phobia so that he will either get snickers or the “bless his heart” routine. Extra points if you can get members of his church to try to help him with his psychological afflictions. Examples would be bouts of amnesia, kleptomania, spontaneously shifting sexual identity, phobia of specific types of rodents, and the Golarion version of Touretts when they get “excited” (with a knowing nod).
Hire someone to be their illusionary body double and have them commit several offensive (but not alignment threatening) acts that will be the talk of the town for years. Drunken serenades of overweight dowagers, bodily fluid distance contests, etc. Alternatively, have them give copious amounts of money to the poor, random prostitutes, and on-duty guardsman to get a reputation for an easy mark.
Conspire with the rest of your group to make up a horrifically embarrassing story and have modify memory cast on everyone so that they actually remember it as being a real event. Never ever stop talking about it. Find members of their religion with a sense of humor and share via share memory spell everywhere you go. It’s a fiction better that will hold up to zone of truth.
Have their equipment or steed regularly doused in the musk of various animals so that they or their steed are regularly “marked” or seen as a valid target for confused amorous advances. Extra points to create “it is known” rumors about their steed/ companion’s sexual identity and how it MUST be true for both.
Have documents forged to appear to come from another temple of Sarenrae and delivered to the church of the ciy you are visiting indicating that the high priest of the local temple of Sarenrae should require that the paladin perform penance for "acts which are best not written where they may be intercepted for the good of the faith". Extra points if they recommend that he not be permitted near alcohol, anyone who has sworn vows of celibacy and a specific type of herd animal.
Will post more should other thoughts occur…
-TimD
*takes notes*
Fun (and relatively minor) revenge.
Hire bards, per rumor mongering suggestion above to spread some sort of nickname or grossly exaggerated affectation or phobia so that he will either get snickers or the “bless his heart” routine. Extra points if you can get members of his church to try to help him with his psychological afflictions. Examples would be bouts of amnesia, kleptomania, spontaneously shifting sexual identity, phobia of specific types of rodents, and the Golarion version of Touretts when they get “excited” (with a knowing nod).
Hire someone to be their illusionary body double and have them commit several offensive (but not alignment threatening) acts that will be the talk of the town for years. Drunken serenades of overweight dowagers, bodily fluid distance contests, etc. Alternatively, have them give copious amounts of money to the poor, random prostitutes, and on-duty guardsman to get a reputation for an easy mark.
Conspire with the rest of your group to make up a horrifically embarrassing story and have modify memory cast on everyone so that they actually remember it as being a real event. Never ever stop talking about it. Find members of their religion with a sense of humor and share via share memory spell everywhere you go. It’s a fiction better that will hold up to zone of truth.
Have their equipment or steed regularly doused in the musk of various animals so that they or their steed are regularly “marked” or seen as a valid target for confused amorous advances. Extra points to create “it is known” rumors about their steed/ companion’s sexual identity and how it MUST be true for both.
Have documents forged to appear to come from another temple of Sarenrae and delivered to the church of the ciy you are visiting indicating that the high priest of the local temple of Sarenrae should require that the paladin perform penance for "acts which are best not written where they may be intercepted for the good of the faith". Extra points if they recommend that he...
"If you want to share my tent so badly that you go to all that trouble, you could just ask instead, you realize? I confess, my answer would be 'by the Gods NO, you tarrasque-faced trollop', but you could just ask..."
What level are you? What level is he?
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Use Alter Self to disguise yourself as the Paladin, then go about and act exactly as a faithful devotee of Calistria should. If you can get the Paladin to go to bed and sleep soundly all night so they don't have an alibi, so much the better. As an Arcane Trickster with 18 CHA, this shouldn't be difficult to bluff your way into convincing the city that a night of debauchery the likes of which Katapesh has never seen was done by your party paladin. Then just sit back and smile knowingly as the paladin gets to wake up and interact with the city you just painted red.
Use Alter Self to disguise yourself as the Paladin, then go about and act exactly as a faithful devotee of Calistria should. If you can get the Paladin to go to bed and sleep soundly all night so they don't have an alibi, so much the better. As an Arcane Trickster with 18 CHA, this shouldn't be difficult to bluff your way into convincing the city that a night of debauchery the likes of which Katapesh has never seen was done by your party paladin. Then just sit back and smile knowingly as the paladin gets to wake up and interact with the city you just painted red.
Is that necessarily harmless though?
Slightly off topic, but... why the heck are followers of Sarenrae being all religiously intolerant to begin with here? The only reason I can think for hostilities is if you keep tormenting/executing people they're hoping to rehabilitate.
That said, I'd say next time you're in town you just spread some nasty rumors about the paladin/trick a random drunk into picking a fight/give a random person a drink "from" the paladin.
One of the three should turn things around in an appropriate fashion to make the paladin deal with whatever he was trying to pin on you.
That said, I'd say next time you're in town you just spread some nasty rumors about the paladin
"Ho Ha Ha, yes, I heard that one too. A fine jest. Tell me, madame, how is your daughter that I cured of that terrible malady? Any further troubles from that demon I smote the ruin of? No? Oh good!
trick a random drunk into picking a fight
"LAMBORGHINI MERCY YOU'RE NO LONGER THIRSTY", or "how I just removed your Sickened condition and learned to love the bro."
give a random person a drink "from" the paladin.
what the- man, are you talking about slipping someone a mickey or is this getting weird?
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Ahem. Elixer of Love works every time. 150g Will save dc14. Last 1d3 hours.
Or if they have a high save buy a Philter of Love. 2000g NO SAVE. Permanent, unless remove enchantment or curse.
"Cheers to our party, we made it through a lot despite our differences."
Drink up fools.
Best part is because your pc is a girl he will be madly in love with you and do your bidding.
(As long as your eyes both meet first.)
So...your solution to really sticking it to the paladin is making him want to get all up ons the cleric?
That sounds like kinda the opposite.
Ahem. Elixer of Love works every time. 150g Will save dc14. Last 1d3 hours.
Or if they have a high save buy a Philter of Love. 2000g NO SAVE. Permanent, unless remove enchantment or curse.
"Cheers to our party, we made it through a lot despite our differences."
Drink up fools.
Best part is because your pc is a girl he will be madly in love with you and do your bidding.
(As long as your eyes both meet first.)
Paladins are immune to charm effects. And saying a DC 14 Will save "works every time" against paladins seems like a rather exaggerated claim...
What level are you? What level is he?
I'm slightly ahead in XP, as this is a character he's brought in to replace a death. I'm level 8 (5 fighter/2 sorc/1 arcane archer), and he's level 7 (pure paladin).
In my current campaign, I'm playing a CN arcane archer who's a pretty devout follower of Calistria. Last session, one of my fellow players brought in a new character to replace one who recently died in our last dungeon crawl - a paladin of Sarenrae. He's more than a bit preachy and a bit pretentious, and my character is wildly selfish and hedonistic - obviously, this has led to some rather hilarious RP!
Anyway, during the course of getting to know the new paladin, he said a few things that my character has taken as a personal affront, and we all know that no good follower of Calistria would allow a slight to go unavenged! I'm wondering if anyone can suggest some creative ways for my character to go about this quest for vengeance.
Just as a few sheet anchors and background - the other player is definitely OK with this, so I have no worries about creating tension at the table. Second, my character is pretty good friends with the oracle of Sarenrae who's also a member of the party, so I'd like to stay away from outright sacrilege and keep any petty actions of revenge focused on the paladin himself. Finally, the campaign is set in Katapesh, and we're currently heading toward Katapesh the City. Any thoughts or clever suggestions?
Have an in-game, in-character reasoned discussion were your char tries to get him to back off and respect your difference. Not everyone is up-tight, serious and a-sexual.
Otherwise ignore, ignore, ignore (keep a little tally), and if he still keeps it up, murder him when he is vulnerable.
For rp and downtime, it is quite easy to just head off on your own and do your own thing, lose the censor paladin tail.
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Wait... you willingly took Sorcerer 2? The deadest of dead levels in all of Pathfinder?
Coup de grace is pretty funny.
Ahh, fun times.
- Forgive him. Seriously. If he's really sanctimonious, nothing will annoy him more.
- Buy him a nice new armour. A form-fitting, very flattering one.
- Admire his arse publicly. In fact, sing praises of his buns. Denounce him for not sharing that gift of his Goddess with more people.
- Take a Sarenraear (sp?) Cleric as a cohort and/or lover.
Great ideas!
Be more religious and spiritually deep than he, and work the angle of your faith.
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Explain to him loudly in a tavern that what he and his mount do at night will NOT result in baby centaurs.
Have an in-game, in-character reasoned discussion were your char tries to get him to back off and respect your difference. Not everyone is up-tight, serious and a-sexual.
Remember, we're dealing with a devout of Calistria here. Trickery and revenge is basically her entire domain. In-character, he would not want to resolve this with a reasoned discussion.
She doesn't have to be a bot, and if she lowers his guard, great revenge can come later.
Wait... you willingly took Sorcerer 2? The deadest of dead levels in all of Pathfinder?
Yeah. The DM gave us a rough idea of what level we'd be at the end of the campaign, and if I ever want to get 3rd level spells (which I do), I needed the caster level boost. My original plan was going to be Fighter 6/Sorc 1/AA. I'm not really sure if it was the most optimal decision, but I do still want to get 3rd level spell-casting with enough time to use it before the campaign ends.
Explain to him loudly in a tavern that what he and his mount do at night will NOT result in baby centaurs.
Priceless, and take the moral high-ground that Calistria frowns on such things. Utter shame.
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She doesn't have to be a bot, and if she lowers his guard, great revenge can come later.
That's not a bad idea; the reasoned conversation to lower his guard (because it would be a total lie - there's no way my character lets go of a slight before she's got even) and then proceed with a revenge scheme and have at least some level of plausible deniability (initially, at least) as to her involvement.
On the other hand, I want the payoff to be more than just murdering him. While my archer is certainly capable of that, everything I've read about Calistria seems to point toward more subtle methods of revenge (the trickery aspects of the goddess, etc). More importantly, I think humiliation would be more my PC's style - she'd want to give him enough time to realize how wrong he was to offend her.