False factoids

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Pulg once picked his nose and found a pearl inside.

[Avatar of Zon-Kuthon]

That's nothing compared to what IHIYC found in HIS nose, a dwarf otyugh!

[Uncle Teddy]

Which, in itself, is nothing compared to what Avatar found living in his left ear - the entire cast of Monte Python reenacting all of their movies.

[GM_Beernorg]

Uncle Teddy keeps this quite, but he found Jimmy Hoffa buried in his belly button lint, shhh, don't tell!

[Pulg]

GM_Beernorg found GM_Beernorg at the Shambhallah Meditation Retreat and Gaseous Giraffe-O-Drome and is now spiritually balanced and at peace with himself.

[GoatToucher]

Pulg is looking for love in all the wrong places.

For example: at the bottom of the ocean, inside a live volcano, at a Hater's Club banquet, and in the Abyss.

[KahnyaGnorc]

GoatToucher found himself in a temporal paradox. He found himself, who found himself, who found himself, who found himself, who found himself, who found himself, who found himself, who found himself, who found himself, who found himself, who found himself, who found himself, who found himself, who found himself, who found himself, who found himself, who found himself, who found himself, who found himself, who found himself, who found himself, who found himself, who found himself, who found himself, who found himself, who found himself, who found himself, who found himself, who found himself, who found himself, who found himself, who found himself, who found himself, who found himself, who found himself, who found himself, who found himself, who found himself, who found himself, and so on and so forth.

[Pulg]

KahmyaGnorc is worshipped as a god by Scotch eggs.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Pulg is turning Japanese - he thinks he's turning Japanese. He REALLY thinks so.

[KahnyaGnorc]

IHIYC has a thing called radar love . . .

[Molten Dragon]

Kahnyagnorc likes to skate away on the thin ice of a new day.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Molten Dragon is he as she is me and we are all together sitting on a cornflake.

[Trigger Loaded]

IHIYC is sure all that glitters is gold, so he's buying the stairway to heaven...

[KahnyaGnorc]

Trigger Loaded is overboard and self-assured that all IHIYC knows is dirty words.

[Pulg]

KahynaLove wants to know what Gnorc is. He wants you to show him.

[GoatToucher]

Pulg is a small town hair-beast, livin' in a lonely world.

He took a midnight train goin' to Altoona, Pennsylvania.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

GoatToucher was strolling through the park one day in the very merry month of May, when he was taken by surprise by a pair of roguish eyes, and in a moment his poor heart was punctured by a +2 Wounding Rapier.

[Pulg]

As IHIYC was Hiding
In the Cork and Kerry Closet
He met with Captain Farrell and he made a small deposit.

Musharingdummadoodummadah.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

You can tell by the way Pulg uses his walk that he's a woman's man with no time to talk.

[KahnyaGnorc]

In a neat little closet named Belfast, apprentice to trade IHIYC was bound, with gaiety and bright amusement to see all the days go 'round.

[GoatToucher]

KahnyaGnorc don't like it!

Rock Katapesh! Rock Katapesh!

[Pulg]

He's been a GoatToucher for many a year,
And he's spent all his money on ruminants' rears.
And now he's returning with goats in great store
To the country of Denmark where it ain't against the law

AND IT'S GOATS! FOR! EVER! (clap clap clap clap clap)
GOATS AND LLAMAS GALORE
HE WILL PLAY THE GOATTOUCHER
UNTIL HE GETS SORE!

[KahnyaGnorc]

Here Pulg posts again on his own, posting the only way he's ever known.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

KahnyaGnorc is a maniac - MANIAC!

[rashly5]

IHIYC is a closet who has deluded itself into believing that what exists inside it is himself.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

You might think that rashly5's a dreamer, but he's not the only one.

[Avatar of Zon-Kuthon]

IHIYC is actually Frollo from the Hunchback of Notre Dame.

[Uncle Teddy]

Avatar is really Tom Bombadil from Lord of the Rings.

[GoatToucher]

Uncle Teddy is just Uncle Teddy. Nothing more, nothing less.

[Molten Dragon]

GT writes Howard the Duck fan fiction in his spare time.

[KahnyaGnorc]

MD is often the love interest in Howard the Duck fan fiction.

[Pulg]

KahnaGnorc once went to a special club for Ducks Who Like Other Ducks, but they threw him out when they discovered that his beak was fake

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Pulg has a real beak. You don't want to know where it is, though....

[Uncle Teddy]

IHIYC is not only the president of the Beak Club for Men, he's also a client.

[Molten Dragon]

Uncle Teddy has a club made from his hair. He uses it often to go baby seal hunting.

[Avatar of Zon-Kuthon]

MD serves as Uncle Teddy's mount, when the latter goes on said hunting trip.

[KahnyaGnorc]

AoZK runs a night club for baby seals.

[Trigger Loaded]

KahnyaGnorc has a strange custom of eating their leather belts when they break from overuse.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Trigger Loaded has no nose - those lights you see to either side of his hat are in fact high-tech olfactory prosthetics that combine the best attributes of a hound's and a pit viper's senses.

[KahnyaGnorc]

IHIYC's mouth is actually just make-up. He "speaks" via telepathy and makes you THINK his "mouth" is moving.

[GoatToucher]

KahnyaGnorc communicates primarily by scent. So far he has only mastered one message. That message is "I am lactose intolerant."

[Pulg]

GoatToucher is the reason Rings of Animal Friendship are no longer legal, to say nothing of Rings of Mammal Control..

Why was that ever a real magic item?

[Molten Dragon]

Pulg once stood in for Mr. Green Jeans.

[GM_Beernorg]

Pulg is in reality just a very upset upright walking pig thing with hypertrichosis.

[Molten Dragon]

In a past life, GMB was a notorious claim jumper.

[Pulg]

Molten Dragon boasts about being a notorious clam jimper - he's actually proud of it!. STOP JIMPING THE CLAMS, YOU ROTTER!

[Old Doc Flumph]

Pulg's facial hair is really a compost heap.

[Avatar of Zon-Kuthon]

Old Doc Flumph is really Young Nurse Hpmulf.

[GM_Beernorg]

Avatar of Zon-Kuthon actually wiped out the entire population of dire porcupines to get his hair style just right, spiky and full of suffering.

[KahnyaGnorc]

GMB isn't naturally green. It is the result of a Halloween mishap when he dressed as She-Hulk.