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Boots, Rat-tread
Aura faint conjuration; CL 3rd
Slot feet; Price 8,500 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
These gray-brown rat fur boots, often mistaken for large rats when not worn, allow the wearer to summon rats to aid in movement.
On command, rat-tread boots summon a rat swarm to the wearer's area. The swarm moves with the wearer and acts as a living carpet. As a move action, the wearer can travel on the backs of the rats as they swim, moving up to 15 feet across the surface of calm waters. If surface conditions become worse than calm, the rats disperse and the wearer falls. On land, the swarm allows the wearer to ignore the adverse movement effects of up to 15 feet of difficult terrain per round.
If the wearer falls unconscious while rat-tread boots are active, on the wearer's next turn the rat swarm attempts to move her away from the nearest foe, moving 5 feet before dispersing. This movement does not provoke attacks of opportunity. If such movement is impossible, the swarm disperses immediately instead.
The swarm summoned by rat-tread boots is a normal rat swarm, except its area does not exceed that of the wearer, and it cannot move out of the wearer's space. The rat swarm disperses when the effect's duration expires or when the rat swarm is reduced to 0 hit points or less.
The command activated ability can be used for up to 10 minutes per day. This duration need not be continuous, but it must be used in 1 minute increments.
Rat-tread boots grant the wearer immunity from the attacks of rat swarms, including their special attacks.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, charm animal, feather step, summon swarm, wild empathy ability; Cost 4,250 gp
Hmmm. A rat segway? With water walking? I'll just say it--this is subjective. Much like Lady Gaga's meat dress, this thing could have been a disaster. Some times creative choices bring you right up to that edge of success or total, utter, embarrassing failure. This one barely came in on the success side for me. They also fit some really great fantasy niches. Good job taking a risk and in my view it paid off. Not sure it is the strongest item in the top 32 but I admire the risk and creativity.
Weird, but I like it.
Contributor; Publisher, Kobold Press; RPG Superstar Judge
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I can see a rogue or wererat loving these, and certainly the Mouse King of Zobeck has already commissioned a pair.
I like that it means no footprints, and the no AoO is a nice combat bonus for slippery rogues or middle-of-melee fighters (and we never see enough fighter items). Creepy flavor that is absolutely right in line with the Pathfinder RPG sense of wonder.
Weird, weird, love it.
Clark said it all.
Contributor
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Star Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 9
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Welcome to the Top 32, squidfeatures!
I might be in the minority here, but this reminds me of the creepy movie "Willard" in a good way, especially with the inclusion of the wild empathy ability in the requirements. The rat-tread boots have a really evocative description, and, if one of my characters saw an enemy being carried on rats, he'd be rightly freaked out. Great job with the item's formatting; I didn't notice anything out of place.
Awesome work. Best of luck to you in future rounds!
First of all, congratulations on making the Top 32! That in itself is a major accomplishment and it’s something you should take great pride in. You rock!
Come on, Clark! Lady Gaga's meat dress was hawt! B-)
This is a weird little item. I'm imagining a pair of rat slippers ... like the bunny slippers I wear around the house at home (what? TMI?). I like the weirdness and ingenuity that went into the design of these things. Rat-based water-walking? Sold! A bunch of rats drag my unconscious body away from danger? Yes, please! A question though: If the rat swarm remains in your space, what happens when you grapple an opponent? Does the rat swarm deal swarm damage to your foe? That would be creepy and devastating. Ok, I like these boots even more now. Nice job! Best of luck in the archetype round!
I just love the visual of these boots.
Thanks everyone! I had a great time designing these and I'm glad they made it. I'm definitely looking forward to Round 2 and beyond.
Thanks again!
Congratulations!
I went back and forth on this item in the voting. At one time, I got angry because I imagined the Pied Piper, only with magical slippers and didn't like it. At others, I quite like the water-walking.
I think either the CL or the Pricing is off. There are a few spells mentioned in the reqs, but only summon swarm is CL 2nd while the others are CL 1st. Nitpicky, I know.
This was a weak keep for me.
I'll be interested to see your subsequent rounds.
Definitely one of if not the best of the swarm items.
One of the items I voted up and down, depending upon circumstances. Like Orthos said it's one of the nicer swarm items. Also, it reminds me of tiger slippers that multiple of my friends have.
Guy,
Between these and the other boots in the voting (which also made the Top 32, alack and alas), I knew I was in trouble. Riding around on a carpet of rats? Neat! There was a cool vibe to your item that had me voting it up more often than not. Also in my personal top 32. Congratulations!
I love the weird item/animal blur. This one is just 'normal' enough to make it to the top 32, apparently, since personally I prefer two far more bizarre monstrosities I encountered while voting: the Roost of Razors and the Nautilus Pack of Tangled Tentacles.
But I shouldn't detract from your achievement. I wholeheartedly wish you good luck in round 2!
You know... I didn't want to like these when I first saw them. They were off the beaten path and quirky and I felt like there had to be some flaw I was missing. But I saw them several times throughout voting and they really grew on me by the end as I started coming up with more uses for them and could see why I might want them in a game.
...The image of someone riding a swimming carpet of rats kind of did it for me, too.
Congrats on making the Top 32 and good luck next round!
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RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32, 2011 Top 16
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Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka JoelF847
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This was one of my favorites from the voting. Not only does it weave a nice set of useful abilities together, it does so in a creepy crawly package. I can see some PCs being torn between the utility of the boots, and not wanting to have to have a swarm of rats carry them around (though PCs more akin to Pig Pen might love them for that!)
This item is so weird I had to love it.
Congratulations, and I'll see you in Round 2!
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Wah!!! ... Erm!!! ... Huh!!!
gathers thoughts
I love weird items, and it doesn't get much weirder than these! One change I would make:
If the wearer falls unconscious while rat-tread boots are active, on the wearer's next turn the rat swarm attempts to move her away from the nearest foe, moving 5 feet before dispersing.
I would change this to:
If the wearer falls unconscious while rat-tread boots are active, on the wearer's next turn the rat swarm eats him.
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I like gonzo, but these seemed gonzo in the wrong direction to me. Like Radagast with a rabbit sled. The actual effects are pretty neat, but the flavor just didn't work for me.
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RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16
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Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka Locke1520
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I like gonzo, but these seemed gonzo in the wrong direction to me. Like Radagast with a rabbit sled. The actual effects are pretty neat, but the flavor just didn't work for me.
First of all conradulations welcome to the top 32.
I'm sorry to say I'm kinda with Clouds Without Water here. I like the item in concept but I'm not fond of the flavor. For me this was the meat dress. I don't use round one as a measure for voting for round two so maybe you'll win me over there. Best of luck.
I like this feedback. I find it humorous that so many of you find it "weird" or even "gonzo", when during development it seemed perfectly natural. I actually got the idea when I discovered that rats swarms had a swim speed and imagined a party of travelers floating gently downstream on a raft of rats.
I remember voting for this item with mixed, albeit positive, feelings. It was a combination of "Dude, sweet!" and the most elated version of "Wait, what?!". Needless to say, I'm pleased to see it in the Top 32.
I feel like the item gets a little wordy at times in an effort to cover every possible variable. Be sure to keep a close eye on that as you edit your Round 2 entry.
I think that the way in which one envisions the boots in actions ultimately determines its degree of gonzo. I, like Mike Welham, got a distinctly creepy Willard vibe from this item. Less rat-surfing, more rat-engulfing, so to speak.
Great job! I look forward to seeing your archetype!
Guy, congratulations!
While the powers your boots have are rather neat, I cannot stop picturing huge novelty rat-shaped slippers after your inital description. Which is a bit of a problem, because otherwise I think your item is pretty good. It's got a unique and different flavor, and is exactly the right level of "gross" without overdoing it.
After all, someone being carried by a throne or carpet of rats is exactly as gross as the GM or player wants to be, while still being a fun visual - except, of course, that the character has giant fake rats for feet.
Very Grey Mouser!
I loved this item, the fact one of my archetype designs had parallel special powers didn't hurt.
A novel concept that is useful for multiple character types, sleekly designed, and has no formatting or grammatical errors that I could spot. Makes me pine for the days of Lankhmar back in AD&D - I can certainly see some Nehwonian wererats loving this item! Nicely done.
The Good: I can think of NPCs that would use the heck out of this, has a neat Morlock feel to it that I love.
The Bad: Some mechanical clunk, like for example how does this interact with engangle effects?
The Ugly: I don't see buying these for a PC, cool NPC item just struggle to think of a charcter that would really use these, especially since you can only use the swarm for movement.
OVerall: You done good, Congrats on making the top 32!
I'm definitely on the "weird is good" side on this one. I think it's a natural for flute-playing Bards.
Yet another item Tim Timery would like to have! That little bard Halfling really likes weird stuff specially when they let you walk on water ~
Congratulations Guy!, Good luck on the next round!.
As prior entries will tell you, Template Fu is one mean point eating machine, but will also praise where praise is due.
These reviews being this in depth usually take me a while to do and they get fitted in around other demands on my time, so please bear with me if I haven’t gotten to your item yet. I will get there in the end.
Review Caveat: I try to keep things totally dispassionate and all comments herein are my own. Having not made the illustrious levels that you have achieved this year, I can only caveat that anything I propose in feedback may not be totally in line with what Paizo thinks or needs of its freelance game designers, so do consider carefully any and all feedback I make under this light.
I start your review with…
Congratulations on being selected by the public at large and then the stalwart judges!
Review Breakdown:
Template: 5/5
Hungry! Hmmm what’s this… perfect – including the wording of the ability - I had to double check this myself, as there is standard wording which can be found for entries that follow the spell list. In this case, it matches exactly with the wondrous item Pipes of the Sewers.
Very well done, that bit after spells is renowned for tripping people up!
Template Fu mooted remembering something about reversing words in names and using commas in prior years but this does match how it is seen on similar items elsewhere. This is one to be careful and aware of, only do this for items with similar name components for which examples can be found.
Spelling: 5/5
This bit IS boilerplate to avoid confusion. Everyone should know to use US English, so you just know that I am going to eat points for stray ‘u’ letters and similar.
Template curls up asleep, nothing to see here, move along now…
Readability: 5/5
These are readings you can get from most spelling and grammar check options in word processors, for this, I am pasting everyone’s description into Word for consistency. My grading’s are purely my own personal feelings for target scores but it should be noted these are very helpful during development to spot problems in your writing, especially passivity.
Passive Sentences 21% (nice, you could maybe have gotten to 0, but this is good)
There are whole threads on this and it is possible to get 0%, which is wicked, but I would expect scores of less than 20% to be around the ideal mark for item descriptions (sometimes, you need the passive, but only rarely).
Flesch Reading Ease 64.9 (again, this is good for me)
(0-30 best understood by university graduates, 60-70 easily understood by 13-15 year olds, 90-100 easily understood by 11 year olds)
Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level 8.8 (wow, practically perfect in every possible way)
(This equates to the grades found in the US schooling system, e,g. 8.2 means it should be understandable by the average 8th grade student)
Me as a Designer Review: 3/5
My initial impression was I wanted more shine in the lead in description, it was a little bland but functional – we need to see more of your wow writing going forwards.
The next paragraph dealt with some cool movement. For me, it jarred a little that it seems that on land, you move and the rats follow, yet on water, the rats move for you. I think on a second or third visit to reassess this item, I would have looked for some way of allowing the rats to move you on land as well. I saw they could do this when you are unconscious later, but here I was looking for something like, for example, the rats climbing an almost vertical drop to a ledge, taking you with them without any climbing checks. This “moves you” effect I am looking for is also implied by the difficult terrain modification, like it is saying that you slide across such terrain as the rats wind in and around that terrains obstacles, so you almost had it, for me it just needed a little extra re-visiting push. I wouldn’t want to fall unconscious on calm waters though – oops, move 5 feet, disperse, start drowning sucker! I probably would have considered something like the rats moving the wearer 5 feet per round and only disperse when doing so would not endanger the wearer in any new ways.
The next paragraph deals nicely with unconsciousness, but the designer within scans down and wonders what happens if you are dead – hey, if you have just 1 hp and the barbarian axe crits for triple, sayonara baby. And the next paragraph answers any questions I may have had about bull rushing, grappling someone inside the swarm – it counts fully as a swarm – nice. The duration and use is unusual and so interesting too.
I think with everything I have postulated, I can happily say this is almost perfect, but I think I need to dock just the 1 point to encourage you to keep working at it. Template Fu grabs the point before I change my mind and runs to his kennel from which the sounds of crunching can soon be heard.
Overall Impression: 4/5
Wow, template execution, spotting most areas that need to be covered. Just missing the pazzazz intro really. Yeah, you have done so well, I am docking a point in the end for that intro – get your pizzazz going and you will do very well indeed.
Final Score: 23/25
I won’t give a final score comment as I haven’t for anyone else as I work through the items.
If this interests for personal reasons, please feel free to check out everyone else’s scores and at the same time check out your competition and their feedback too!
Closing, as I started…
Congratulations on being selected!
Good, but not great I think.
Lots of imagination...but I would think there should be more to it somehow?
Still...it creeps up on you and bites you in just the right imaginative place!
Gotta like creepy "rat-guy" effect. Especially on a low-level bad-guy or Urban Druid for a GM encounter.
@Template Fu: I really like your feedback about the difference between the interaction between wearer and rats when on water vs. on land. I hadn't intended there to be a difference, but the way it's worded now I can see how it paints a slightly different mind picture. Excellent catch.
As for the bland description: again, you're on point. Since I was doing something so different with the swarm I wanted to make sure I nailed down all the loose ends, which didn't leave a lot of wiggle room for description so I skimped.
I do, however, regret the phrase "often mistaken for large rats when not worn" which I think sent people in a more bunny slipper direction that I would have liked.
And seriously Clark? Meat Dress? Does that make me the Lady Gaga of this competition? I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing...
It's a good thing to be "the gaga". Some people love her and some people hate her, but she does polarize the audience - which is far better than people just ignoring you. ;)
Rats are something to be exterminated without prejudice, not to be ridden on like some kind of weird ass mount. Definitely not my cup of tea.
However, Congrats on finding enough SMF's in the community to put you through.
Congratulations Guy,
With all the swarm items during voting I was trying to think of how I would make a swarm item differently. This is what I came up with and this is cool. It is barely a rat swarm though mechanically they are present for sure, nice job toning the swarm out of a swarm item. Love the name, way to grab my attention.
Suggestions for future rounds: keep bending the rules with the flair of these.
Good luck,
Rats are something to be exterminated without prejudice, not to be ridden on like some kind of weird ass mount. Definitely not my cup of tea.
Not even to give you your 'to be exterminated without prejudice' villian? Just imagine a were-rat calling himself the underking, standing at the center of a churning whirlwind of rats...
MOGG WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPEN IF I EAT THE RATS?
((sorry needed to do that, all the reviews have made me a little unhinged))
I voted for this item a lot. I don't think I would wear these boots in town, but I would definitely wear them in a dungeon. Riding any type of swarm would be cool and that idea gives this item mojo.
Congratulations Guy on making the Top 32!
I really like this item. Mostly, anyway. The image is bizarre but very evocative and you can immediately see a villainous sewer-king type character traveling around with his rat swarm. Very nice.
I like the water-walking and I love the rats' valiant attempt to save their master if he goes down. That's the image that sticks with me the most and prevents it feeling like a 'bad guys only' item. Great job.
I don't quite get the effect of ignoring 15 feet of difficult terrain on land, though. I can see that the rats are meant to be carrying the master around, but why can they only do 15 feet? Do they get tired?
Tiny nit-pick - The boots are 'often mistaken for large rats when not worn'. By whom? You should be describing them, not the response to them by an indeterminate observer. 'These boots look like large rats when not worn...'
Over all, this is a super entry. Creative, fun and creepy. A great combination. Well done!