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Three hours to decorate a tree!
Christmas music on.
Stockings pinned up.
And apologies to everyone in advance.... I just know what I'm about to unleash upon you all...
The twelve days of Superstar Judgement are upon you!
On the first day of Superstar,
an entrant sent to me
An over word count entry.
On the second day of Superstar,
an entrant sent to me
Two Swiss army knives,
And another over word count entry.
On the third day of Superstar,
an entrant sent to me
Three child's toys,
Two Swiss army knives,
And another over word count entry.
On the fourth day of Superstar,
an entrant sent to me
Four real world names,
Three child's toys,
Two Swiss army knives,
And another over word count entry.
On the fifth day of Superstar,
an entrant sent to me
FIVE GOLDEN COINS,
Four real world names,
Three child's toys,
Two Swiss army knives,
And another over word count entry.
On the sixth day of Superstar,
an entrant sent to me
Six spell in a can,
FIVE GOLDEN COINS,
Four real world names,
Three child's toys,
Two Swiss army knives,
And another over word count entry.
On the seventh day of Superstar,
an entrant sent to me
Seven not-an-item,
Six spell in a can,
FIVE GOLDEN COINS,
Four real world names,
Three child's toys,
Two Swiss army knives,
And another over word count entry.
On the eighth day of Superstar,
an entrant sent to me
Eight posts identifying,
Seven not-an-item,
Six spell in a can,
FIVE GOLDEN COINS,
Four real world names,
Three child's toys,
Two Swiss army knives,
And another over word count entry.
On the ninth day of Superstar,
an entrant sent to me
Nine random items,
Eight posts identifying,
Seven not-an-item,
Six spell in a can,
FIVE GOLDEN COINS,
Four real world names,
Three child's toys,
Two Swiss army knives,
And another over word count entry.
On the tenth day of Superstar,
an entrant sent to me
Ten bad spellings,
Nine random items,
Eight posts identifying,
Seven not-an-item,
Six spell in a can,
FIVE GOLDEN COINS,
Four real world names,
Three child's toys,
Two Swiss army knives,
And another over word count entry.
On the eleventh day of Superstar,
an entrant sent to me
Eleven violations,
Ten bad spellings,
Nine random items,
Eight posts identifying,
Seven not-an-item,
Six spell in a can,
FIVE GOLDEN COINS,
Four real world names,
Three child's toys,
Two Swiss army knives,
And another over word count entry.
On the twelfth day of Superstar,
an entrant sent to me
Twelve character namings,
Eleven violations,
Ten bad spellings,
Nine random items,
Eight posts identifying,
Seven not-an-item,
Six spell in a can,
FIVE GOLDEN COINS,
Four real world names,
Three child's toys,
Two Swiss army knives,
And another over word count entry.
Oh Wow!!! This is fantastic. Thank you for posting it! :D
I sang the twelfth day out to the entire household, and it got a good laugh from hubby and kids. Can I steal this for my Facebook? I have several gaming friends who will get a serious kick out of this.
Bravo!
You are the official* bard of RPG Superstar!!!
That was awesome!!!!
Anthony, between that and your formatting thread, you are the best.
Big Superstar props to you!
Clark
*and by official I mean totally unofficial because I have no power to award that to you, it just sounds better.
Help yourself Marie - and anyone else, it was just a bit of fun so feel free to share - it can only spread the word of this competition after all ;)
While I remember. I almost changed the last line of day 12 to
And they all went in the reject bin!
Which also tracks pretty well :)
and Clark - anyone on here getting praise from you, Sean or any of the judges is rather appreciated and respected, so thank you to you and Sean.
I think I will (passive ;p) go and cry in a small corner now - my best posts and neither are item entries >.<
Help yourself Marie - and anyone else, it was just a bit of fun so feel free to share - it can only spread the word of this competition after all ;)
Thank you. And done. :)
I highly enjoyed this. Bravo!
I... totally DIDN'T sing the whole thing to myself while reading this. >_>
I highly enjoyed this. Bravo!
I... totally DIDN'T sing the whole thing to myself while reading this. >_>
He he he, Songs get in people's heads...
So if people have this in their head, then Template Fu will be ever so justified if they do any of the mistakes it refers to - ESPECIALLY word count :P
Oh you just know it!
I really must stop with the Christmas Spirit :p
Dashing through entries made
With a big red button, 'Slay'
O'er the faults we go
Laughing all the way
Posts on word counts tight
Making entrants fright
What fun it is to laugh and slay
Contestants dreams all night
Oh, jingle bells, item smells
Throw it all away
Oh, what fun it is to judge
With my big red button, 'Slay'
Jingle bells, item smells
Press 'n Slay, cause dismay
Oh, what fun it is to judge
With my big red button, 'Slay'
A day or two ago
I thought I'd take a chance
And soon Sean and Clark
My item they did glance
The item really stank
Misfortune seems my lot
It crashed into a drifted bank
And then it got the lot
Oh, jingle bells, item smells
Throw it all away
Oh, what fun it is to judge
With my big red button, 'Slay'
Jingle bells, item smells
Press 'n Slay, cause dismay
Oh, what fun it is to judge
With my big red button, 'Slay'
Yeah!
Jingle bells, item smells
Throw it all away
Oh, what fun it is to judge
With my big red button, 'Slay'
Jingle bells, item smells
Press 'n Slay, cause dismay
Oh, what fun it is to judge
With my big red button, 'Slay'
<golf clap>
:-)
<golf clap>
:-)
He he,
Mary's Boy Child by Boney M is proving more challenging - but it is filling the time nicely to reveal day :D
Ok, to the tune of Mary's Boy Child (this was really hard), some Golarion Fu for you to enjoy...
Abadar, the guardian, protects us all this day
and we will live for evermore because of his sway
long time ago in Golarion so history does say
Abadar, the guardian, protects us all this day.
Hark now hear the angels sing
a hero was born today
and he will live for evermore we all do pray
Abadar, great guardian, protect him from this day
While shepherds watched their flocks by night
they see a bright new shining star
they hear a choir sing a song
the music seemed to come from afar.
Hark now hear the angels sing
a hero was born today
and he will live for evermore we all do pray
Abadar, great guardian, protect him from this day
Golarion did shine aglow
as all the bells rang out
there were tears of joy and laughter
people shouted let ev'ryone know
there is hope for all to find peace.
Now Sean and his wife Ry-anne came to Corentyn that night
they found no place to bear the child, not a single room was in sight
and then they found a little nook in a stable all forlorn
and in a manger cold and dark Ry-anne's little hero born
Hark now hear the angels sing
a hero was born today
and he will live for evermore we all do pray
Abadar, great guardian, protect him from this day!
Sorry Ryan, I needed a name with the same beat as Mary and your's was the first I thought of - I did change it slightly to protect the innocent :D
He he, this is quite fun... so I'm thinking next for the Bardic destruction is the classic White Christmas.
Here's a list of songs I know reasonably well, please feel free to let me know if you want any of them given the Superstar treatment :P
White Christmas
Silent Night, Holy Night
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
Silver Bells
Let it Snow, let it Snow, let it Snow
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Frosty the Snowman
Baby, it's Cold Outside
The First Noel
O Little Town of Bethlehem
Jingle Bell Rock
Rocking around the Christmas Tree
Santa Baby
Santa Claus is Coming to Town
Twas the Night Before Christmas
Here's a list of songs I know reasonably well, please feel free to let me know if you want any of them given the Superstar treatment :P
Santa Baby
_
Sara Marie, slip a module under the tree, for me.I've been an awful good guy,
Sara Marie, and hurry with my shipment tonight.
Sara Marie, a Second Darkness dice set, too, dark blue.
I'll wait up for it dear,
Sara Marie, and hurry with my shipment tonight.
(feel free to extend that)
Lol, very good.
in the words of Takai "OH MY!!!"
Santa Baby
_
Sara Marie, slip a module under the tree, for me.
I've been an awful good guy,
Sara Marie, and hurry with my shipment tonight.Sara Marie, a Second Darkness dice set, too, dark blue.
I'll wait up for it dear,
Sara Marie, and hurry with my shipment tonight.
And now it's stuck in my head...
If I forgot to say this I'd be remiss:
Thanks from all the customers you haven't dissed!
This year's Superstar is oh, so good,
If you'd vote for my [redacted] it would be bliss,
Boo doo bee doo.
Sara Marie, I want Seoni's mug shot,
And really that's not a lot,
I've been an angel all year,
Sara Marie, and hurry with my shipment tonight.
Sara Marie, there's one thing that I really need - the deed.
To a Pathfinder lodge,
Sara Marie, and hurry with my shipment tonight.
Sara Marie, ship my sub, but add item decks...FedEx.
Sign your 'X' on the line,
Sara Marie, and hurry with my shipment tonight.
Bark from a Thileu tree,
Heathensnuff and Allnight and some Cabble-weed,
I really do believe in you,
Let's see if you believe in me,
Boo doo bee doo.
Sara Marie, just one more thing for me: an AP.
I mean the Runelords Deluxe,
Sara Marie, and hurry with my shipment tonight.
Hurry with my shipment tonight.
Hurry with my shipment tonight.
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For extra fun, replace "Sara Marie" with "Cosmo Baby".
Uh oh, we've got competition!
Just a few more and we can offer the Paizo Superstar Christmas Songbook !
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For my fellow MOTTs:
I have a little item
I made it in one day
And when it's good and ready
Oh, then you all can say:
Oh, item, item, item,
If I have my way
Everyone will love you
And the judges you will sway
It has a lovely template
With spells italicized
And when my item is used
It stabs you in the eyes
Oh, item, item, item,
If I have my way
Everyone will love you
And the judges you will sway
My item's always useful
It will not break the game
Everyone will want it
Just don't you think it's lame
Oh, item, item, item,
If I have my way
Everyone will love you
And the judges you will sway
Uh oh, we've got competition!
HA! No, Anthony's position as official unofficial bard of RPG Superstar remains quite secure.
EDIT: Um, I posted that before I saw the dreidel song. No slight intended to your bardic talents, Jacob. :)
Just a few more and we can offer the Paizo Superstar Christmas Songbook !Or better yet, a holiday video of the Paizo team singing the songs...
Oh yes!
Paizo - consider yourselves duly challenged!
RPG Superstar 2011 Top 16
,
Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7
aka primemover003
|
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Vrockin' around my laptop screen
Wondrous Item word count chop
Paizo Publishing, LLC
wants more writers for their shop
Vrockin' around my CRB
Let RPG Superstar begin
Later we'll vote items side-by-side
Down to 32 they'll trim
You'll start work on archtypes and your monsters, but you'll fear
S-K-R, Clark, & Wolfgang Baur found your item overpowered!
Vrockin' around the message boards
Let the dice roll as the may
Everyone's voting merrily
for the game we all love to play!
--Jingle Bell Vrock!
Clearly this needs to be a round in next year's competition.
I'm fairly happy with this one now, so enjoy and sing along while watching Die Hard!
Oh designing an item is frightful,
But the forums are so delightful,
And since we've no place to go,
Let It Show! Let It Show! Let It Show!
I haven't any signs of stopping,
And I've brought some gold for shopping,
In dungeons we descend down low,
Down we go! Down we go! Down we go!
When I finally submit,
How I'll hate waiting for reveal!
But I'll really give good fight,
Closer to winning, say I'll be warm
Inspiration slowly dying,
And, my item, I'm still revising,
But as long as the word counts low,
I'll have a go! Have a go! Have a go!
Poor old Bing will turn in his grave now - and I just found out how repetitive some old songs are...
To the tune of White Christmas...
I'm dreaming of winning Superstar,
Just like the ones who've gone before.
Where dryad leaves glisten,
And entrants listen
To Sean's advice then having a go.
I'm dreaming of winning Superstar,
With every entry that I write,
"May my item be clever and bright,
And may all your votes be mine tonight".
I'm dreaming of winning Superstar,
Just like the ones who've gone before.
Where dryad leaves glisten,
And entrants listen
To Sean's advice then having a go.
I'm dreaming of winning Superstar,
With every entry that I write,
"May my item be clever and bright,
And may all your votes be mine tonight".
We still have some left to do, so come on fellow Paizonians, entrants and lurkers out there - get with the spirit and give us a song...
These are the one's we still haven't done from my list...
Silent Night, Holy Night
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
Silver Bells
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Frosty the Snowman
Baby, it's Cold Outside
The First Noel
O Little Town of Bethlehem
Jingle Bell Rock
Santa Claus is Coming to Town
Twas the Night Before Christmas
Silver bells was harder than I thought, but I like the chorus of this stab...
US Grammar in templates
Dressed in mark up code
In our posts
There's a feeling
of Superstar
Judges laughing
Auto Rejecting
Weeding item after item
Ev'ry entrant pulls out their hair
Wondrous Item Wondrous Item
Superstar time in the city
Now running out of time
Soon it's revealing day
Many press submit
Some do preview
Blink at that word count
As the entrants rush
In with their treasures
Hear the rule crunch
See the good bunch
Let the voting time begin
And above all this hustle
You'll hear
Wondrous Item Wondrous Item
Superstar time in the city
Now running out of time
Soon it's revealing day
Judges watch out!
They better edit!
Better word count
I'm telling you why!
Superstar is Coming to town!
We're making a list,
Not voting twice!
Gonna find out who's item is nice!
Superstar is coming to town!
We see items in our sleep!
We see 'em when awake!
We see them if they're good or bad!
So be good for sanity's sake!
O! Judges watch out!
They better edit!
Better word count!
I'm telling you why!
Superstar is coming to town!
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Paizo
Contestants
I'm not ready yet
Paizo, It's Superstar Time
I have deadlines to set
Paizo, It's Superstar Time
This year has been
Been waiting all year
So very good
We're excited, and all in the mood
My spouse is starting to worry
They know the coming story
My kids will be climbing the walls
What better way to deck the halls?
I'm really not yet ready
Our hearts are hanging heavy!
Well, maybe just the first round
We'll just submit some new items found
Paizo, it's Superstar time!
The hours are gonna be long
That's why we broke into song
Say … that's actually nice
We hoped it would suffice
I wish I knew how to break the spell
Oh! How did we do, pray tell!
I ought to say no, to much to do
Just give us a teaser
Your word count's too high
Superstar time is nigh
It can't possibly be now
It can, here's how
Oooh, Paizo, it's Superstar time!
Is the code ready to go?
It's the same, and you know
There's no judges to be seen
There's SKR, he's pretty keen
What challenges with I give?
Just let our imaginations live
The content's not right
But look at this fight!
I've not finished dinner
But here's my adventure
I'm not ready yet.
Look at this template I set
I can't really ...
Ooooo, Paizo, it's Superstar Time!
Seems to work, enjoy...
It's beginning to look a lot like failure
Ev'ry year or so;
Take a look at the finalists, glistening all in bliss
With shiney new forum tags all aglow.
It's beginning to look a lot like failure
Not even alternate
Then the prettiest sight I see, is the email just for me
Coming to change my fate.
A rush of last minute votes, suddenly gave me hope
Show us more if you can;
Scream the many fans, and we will vote again
For a really clever archetype;
And Mom and Dad can hardly wait to see me write again.
It's beginning to look a lot like round three
Ev'rywhere I look;
Votes are flying in, at last I can really grin,
And I dare to imagine I can win.
It's beginning to look a lot like winning;
Soon the work will start,
And the thing that will make me sing, is the module I will bring,
Right to your gaming heart.
Amy, good stuff! I can hear Dean Martin now....
Amy, good stuff! I can hear Dean Martin now....
Hehehe. Thanks!
a carol for December 20th
to the tune of Hey Santa
If everyday was Superstar,
If we could make entries,
If everyone would edit a little more,
Sean K would be happy.
The forums are covered in posts tonight.
It's late and I should be asleep.
I'm waiting for them, but they're nowhere in sight
And I wonder if they can hear me.
Hey judges
Hey judges...judges
I wish with all my might
Hey judges
Hey judges...judges
Vote for my wondrous item tonight.
Why does it feel like it's cold as Kuthona
As I work on my archetype?
The schedule said voting begins on Thursday
And now it's almost midnight.
Submissions scroll up and down the screen --
Such a sight to see!
But all the entries on the screen
Don't mean a thing -- not sent by me!
Hey judges
Hey judges...judges
I wish with all my might
Hey judges
Hey judges...judges
If you hear me won't you hurry
And pick my archetype
I know your plates are piling high,
But won't you stop and give my monster a try?
I'll be waiting by the monitor for weeks now.
Submissions scroll up and down the screen --
Such a sight to see!
But all the entries on the screen
Don't mean a thing -- judges, please hear me!
Hey judges
Hey judges...judges
I wish with all my might
Hey judges
Hey judges...judges
If you hear me won't you hurry
Send me a golden ticket tonight
Submissions scroll up and down the screen --
Such a sight to see!
An email pings, oh can it be?
O-M-G, I made Round Three!
Hey judges
Hey judges...judges
I guess you heard me tonight
Hey judges
Hey judges...judges
I'm in the monitor glow
With my submission tonight
Superstar...
It's voting time...
I think I got this one to work...
'Twas the Night Before Deadline
Twas the night before Deadline, and in many a house
Contestants were frantically clicking their mouse.
The auto-rejects had been studied with care,
In hopes that a golden ticket soon would be theirs.
They previewed and typed and submitted with dread,
While visions of Superstar danced in their heads.
And Wolfgang with his ‘kerchief, and Clark in his cap,
Had just joined Sean for an open vote nap.
When out on the boards there arose such a clatter,
That Neil sprang up to see what was the matter.
Away to boot Windows he flew in a blink,
In a torrent of words, he rushed through a link.
The brightest flames of a new-written snark
Gave the lustre of mid-day all around Clark.
When, what to Sean’s wondering eyes should appear,
But some awful items, to a new entrant’s cheers.
With a wand and a rod, a spell in a can,
A bad joke sent by an eager fan.
More rapid than eagles his Rejects they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!
"Now Swissy! now, Vomit! now, O’erpriced and Under!
On, Random! On, Camping! on Gigantic Blunder
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up on the forums the Rejects they flew,
With their eyes full of stars, which Clark swiftly slew.
And then, in a twinkling, they heard on the thread
Someone crying and calling that they’d been misled.
As Neil drew a breath, and marshaled his words,
To tell them precisely what was so absurd,
Wolfgang jumped right in, from his head to his foot,
With his kobolds all eager to trap them – kaput!
A bundle of Tickets he had on his back,
And he pointed out rules as they gave him such flack.
His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!
He pointed out problems, and gave out advice,
With a wink of an eye that claimed he was nice.
While Sean came out without bite to his bark,
The contestants relaxed—and then down came Clark!
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Critiquing each one, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, to the next round he rose!
They sprang to the judging, then Neil gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard them exclaim, ‘ere they vanished from sight,
"Good Luck to you all, for you’re all a delight!"
Twas the Night Before Deadline
Inspired title - love it!
Inspired by a desperate search for a two-syllable substitute. :)
But I'm glad you like it.
It works beautifully. And it seems desperation was a grand muse for you. Well done.