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Sorry! I have been so busy that I completely forgot to come back and tell you all the I am now legally Cindy Jean Robertson! I still have a lot of stuff to do to get the world to fix things now, but my name is no longer Robert and that makes me so damn happy!
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Congratulations, Cindy! I hope you can hold that feeling of happiness tight for a good long time, and that more good things come your way soon!
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Oh yeah I'm transHooray for my favorite kobold!
My ask for future reference (and if you are comfortable answering): what are your pronouns?
She/her!
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I know that we aren't supposed to talk about politics much, but am I the only one scared for her life if the election puts more anti-LGBT forces in power, or worse, if they lose and the supporters of those who are hate filled and armed decide to "protest".
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I'm not a U.S. citizen, and I worry for you guys. So please stay safe and remember to vote!
Getting to the point where a lot of my friends abroad will, separately, message me with a “so uhhhh everything okay? I’ve been reading the news and...”
No Cindy, you're not alone.
A lesson I learned a long time ago from some friends whose parents fled with them in tow as small children from Hungary in 1955: always keep your passport up to date.
No Cindy, you're not alone.
A lesson I learned a long time ago from some friends whose parents fled with them in tow as small children from Hungary in 1955: always keep your passport up to date.
That's a nifty idea. Tricky sometimes, though. Speaking as someone studying out of her home province while her application for a change of name is being processed, and who received the helpful advice to just reapply for a new passport when her papers are in order.
I'm hoping it's just a pandemic-related delay, but I won't pretend that I'm not also a bit worried. Which I suppose is my pessimistic reminder to other trans folks especially that one is unfortunately unlikely to go wrong by expecting the worst.
(Since I know tone can be tricky through the aether, I just wanted to add that I really didn't mean to be snarky. Helpfully paranoid, maybe, but not snarky. :) )
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I am Freehold, I am not afraid to fight and I vote!
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Sadly, thanks to the pandemic, few countries are letting US citizens in.
Happily, one of those countries shares a 1900 mile border with the US.
Stay safe. Vote. Polling suggests he's facing an absolutely historic loss, enough to overwhelm attempts to cheat and suppress. We can turn this around.
Some data are showing a much closer race, but yes. Vote, and more importantly, get as many people as possible to the polls who will help defeat him.
I'm just scared and I don't really know what to do. My first thought is to prepare to need to defend myself with force that I haven't had to consider since 1993 when I was in the infantry training people for war. I'm terrified because I don't want to be at a point where I'm in a kill or be killed situation again. I've spoken to several other veterans who were also in the infantry or who have seen combat and some of them agree with my assessment, and even those who don't understand my trepidation.
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I'm terrified because I don't want to be at a point where I'm in a kill or be killed situation again. I've spoken to several other veterans who were also in the infantry or who have seen combat and some of them agree with my assessment, and even those who don't understand my trepidation.
When I was a freshman in college, in Houston, I found a summer job, and moved into an apartment with a roommate. Houston was at that time the US city with the highest homicide rate.
I asked my father, a career soldier, to buy me a gun and teach me how to use it. His response, "I will buy you a shotgun, but you have to promise that you will shoot ANYONE who comes through the door without your permission, even if you know them." He was right, of course. A shotgun was the only gun I could reliably aim, and it was not just strangers who might want to harm me.
I decided not to get a gun. The idea of killing someone I knew was more than I could deal with. That decision put me on a path of non-violence and learning to deal with life using tools of non-violence.
But first I had to grapple with my values: was saving my own life more important to me than taking someone else's? I still revisit that question, especially now that things are moving toward political violence again.
Finding a safe space to work through your feelings is important. You might find it in groups of veterans who are against violence.
You might find it at the nearest Friends Meeting house. (They helped a lot of Vietnam era military people figure out whether fleeing to Canada was the right solution for them).
You might find it in your therapist's office.
But start looking for that space. No one else can tell you how to define violence* and how to respond to it with integrity. It's easier when you've had time to feel settled in your own mind and know what you are choosing is your own best self in action. You don't have to choose nonviolence.
You do need to know which actions will improve your own mental health and which actions will make it worse.
*The main issues for me:
Is property destruction violence? Is mental/verbal cruelty violence?
It was easy to see that physical harm (bruises, broken bones) was violence, but where do I say 'nope, that's not violent behavior, and thus it is in my repertoire of non-violent responses".
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I just keep a machete in the house, like my ancestors did.
Well now its just two swords.
But still.
I'm not worried about someone coming into my home and I'm not worried about property damage. I can just leave the area if it's property damage. I'm worried about my own personal safety and the safety of other LGBT folx, POC, and our allies. I know that I can squeeze the trigger. I don't want to be in that position.
I will definitely look into other veteran groups that are against violence. I have an appointment coming up with my therapist. I will bring this up with him and see what his thoughts are on how to deal with this.
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Veterans For Peace
To achieve these goals, members of Veterans For Peace pledge to use non-violent means and to maintain an organization that is both democratic and open with the understanding that all members are trusted to act in the best interests of the group for the larger purpose of world peace.
I've worked locally with people from this group. They put on a fund-raising concert every Oct 9, John Lennon's birthday.
Chapter Contacts
Link to a document with contact information for VFP chapters.
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It's a change of topic (and the last few posts have been making some fabulous points, so I'm hesitant to) but I am currently purging my RPG collection and have a few books to give away, if anyone in this thread is interested. I've found a home for most of it, but there are some Paizo titles that I no longer need - basically my favorite PF1 books that I just couldn't bear to part with last time around, but which I can let go of now.
If you have any interest, please send me a PM with whatever you'd like (be as all encompassing as you like, don't feel the need to be restrained or anything). I'll keep tabs on it for the next fortnight (say until August 14th) and then divide things up amongst anyone who has expressed interest. I'll cover shipping and everything, so it's just a free gift, no strings attached. If you end up with a copy, don't really need it and end up selling it - that's cool. No obligation on what you want it for.
EDIT: After a fortnight, I'll do my best to kind of spread things around as fairly as seems reasonable. Do feel free to call out specific titles you're really keen on vs some you're just maybe-kinda interested in. From past experience, I can tell you there'll be plenty of people asking for multiple books. It helps me out the more info you provide. :)
Here's the listing (again, don't feel bad about asking for multiple titles, if you're interested):
Pathfinder 1st Edition
Inner Sea Gods
Planar Adventures
Book of the Damned
Irrisen – Land of Eternal Winter
Lands of the Linnorm Kings
Varisia – Birthplace of Legends
Guide to Korvosa
Magnimar – City of Monuments
City of Strangers
Sandpoint – Light of the Lost Coast
Qadira – Jewel of the East
Druma, Profit and Prophecy
Lands of Conflict
Nidal, Land of Shadows
Cheliax, the Infernal Empire
Path of the Hellknight
AP issues 127 – 132 (War for the Crown)
War for the Crown – Pawn Collection
Starfinder
Starfinder Beginner Box
Pathfinder 2nd Edition
Gamemastery Guide
Bestiary
Bestiary 2
It's a change of topic (and the last few posts have been making some fabulous points, so I'm hesitant to) but I am currently purging my RPG collection and have a few books to give away, if anyone in this thread is interested. I've found a home for most of it, but there are some Paizo titles that I no longer need - basically my favorite PF1 books that I just couldn't bear to part with last time around, but which I can let go of now.
If you have any interest, please send me a PM with whatever you'd like (be as all encompassing as you like, don't feel the need to be restrained or anything). I'll keep tabs on it for the next fortnight (say until August 14th) and then divide things up amongst anyone who has expressed interest. I'll cover shipping and everything, so it's just a free gift, no strings attached. If you end up with a copy, don't really need it and end up selling it - that's cool. No obligation on what you want it for.
EDIT: After a fortnight, I'll do my best to kind of spread things around as fairly as seems reasonable. Do feel free to call out specific titles you're really keen on vs some you're just maybe-kinda interested in. From past experience, I can tell you there'll be plenty of people asking for multiple books. It helps me out the more info you provide. :)
Here's the listing (again, don't feel bad about asking for multiple titles, if you're interested):
Pathfinder 1st Edition
Inner Sea Gods
Planar Adventures
Book of the Damned
Irrisen – Land of Eternal Winter
Lands of the Linnorm Kings
Varisia – Birthplace of Legends
Guide to Korvosa
Magnimar – City of Monuments
City of Strangers
Sandpoint – Light of the Lost Coast
Qadira – Jewel of the East
Druma, Profit and Prophecy
Lands of Conflict
Nidal, Land of Shadows
Cheliax, the Infernal Empire
Path of the Hellknight
AP issues 127 – 132 (War for the Crown)
War for the Crown – Pawn CollectionStarfinder
Starfinder Beginner BoxPathfinder 2nd Edition
Gamemastery Guide
Bestiary
Bestiary 2
there is someone in the hells vengeance thread that needs info on Cheliax, maybe you guys can work something out.
I may have misunderstood, but just to be clear, this is free. There’s nothing really to work out other than telling me what you want and where you want me to post it. :)
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I would be very interested in War for the Crown. I have a friend who is trying to learn how to be a GM and I think that this would be a great gift to help him out. He would be able to see how adventures are written. He can learn about balance, spreading out encounters, magic items/gear, and NPCs without having to do it the hard way, which is what I did many moons ago.
I know that we aren't supposed to talk about politics much, but am I the only one scared for her life if the election puts more anti-LGBT forces in power, or worse, if they lose and the supporters of those who are hate filled and armed decide to "protest".
I already wrote about pre-election anti-LGBT retoric being used by the current regime as a part of their presidential campaign. There was hope it will diminish after the elections are over. It wasn't so, though. Instead, it seems that anti-LGBT propaganda is growing and actual actions are taken now, when the current regime feels secure after the number of votes their president got.
Prosecution office order an arrest of an LGBT activist that probably commited some acts of vandalism and destruction of private property (she is accused of damaging a van that drove around covered with anti-LGBT bull-***t statements). While she is most likely guilty, the prosecution ordered her arrest for two months (which can be extended further) prior to court proceedings - a measure usually reserved for violent and dangerous criminals.
There was a protest today that blocked police from actually arresting her...
Additionally, the government is organizing an institution that is supposed to "protect Catholics against discrimination driven by LGBT ideology"...
For f-sake.
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Ignoring gender norms boosts academic achievement and mental health
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Today is my birthday. 8 years ago I tried to come out. I ended up right back in hiding. This was my original Facebook post (please excuse some outdated language, I didn't know better):
"Good morning everyone.
A midlife crisis is when you look back and see that where you are isn't where you want to be but you also realize that you aren’t done yet. It’s a bit depressing to know that you haven’t lived up to your own expectations let alone the ones put upon you by friends and family over the years. That doesn’t mean that we should throw our hands up and give up. What it does mean is that we still have time to change.
One of my problems has been that I don’t know where I want to go. I don’t know professionally or personally. I know that I would like to be in a leadership position again. I like being in a position where I can have an impact on how well a team does as well as being held accountable for that, both the positive and negative. It’s not just being part of that team. It’s about being the one who guides that team to success. It’s where I feel most comfortable.
I would also like to spend more time with family and friends. It’s sometimes difficult with family because of how far away they can be but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try harder. Friends are people I need to connect with more often as well. Again, it can be hard because we all have our lives but I need to find ways to spend more time with them doing things instead of sitting around and just talking (which is good too but activities are where memories are made).
I need to face my fears and not let them hold me back. We all have fears and they can often be debilitating. Mine is a fear of rejection which is what holds me back the most. It’s why I don’t take risks when I should. It’s why I’m single. It’s why I’m not in the position I want professionally. It’s why I’m broke most of the time. It’s managed to run my life. I can’t let it do that anymore. I certainly need to just accept that I won’t be accepted all the time and that’s perfectly fine..
So here’s to a better half to my life. If 41 is midlife, then I should be able to make it to 82. That means I have 41 more years to do what I want and need. That means I need to take more risks. I need to go places, literally. I need to meet more people. No one is knocking on my door except evangelists. They’re nice people but not what I’m looking for.
I’m going to start by facing one of my biggest fears with rejection. I’m going to no longer hide from myself or others. I’m going to be who I am. I am bisexual. I am also a transvestite. I’m not a drag queen, just a normal transvestite. I expect this to be a shock to a lot of people. I also expect that some people will have a problem with it. Those who do can find their way out of my life on their own. I’m not going to push you out. If you think you can learn to adjust, then you are welcome to stay. If you can’t, then remember it’s your problem and not mine. I’m not asking for anyone to treat me any differently. I’m still the same person you knew yesterday, last week, last year, in high school, as a child, etc. Nothing has changed about me. You just didn’t know about this part of me. Just like you probably also didn’t know that I have written a Netbook for Dungeons and Dragons about 15 years ago. It doesn’t change who I am. It just means I don’t have to hide anymore.
No, I’m not going to go to work dressed up. No, I’m not going to hit on you just because you know that I’m interested in men and women. If I haven’t hit on you yet, odds are that I’m not going to start now. It also doesn’t mean I’m looking for you to hook me up with your friends or family (although I may be interested so don’t count me out!). I’m just looking to live my life as I see fit so long as it doesn’t harm me or others.
Those of you who have known and have been supportive, thank you very much. It means a lot. It has helped knowing that I have the support of friends and family. Those of you who aren’t going to change how you treat me, I thank you also. That is actually very supporting because it shows acceptance. Those of you who decide that we can’t be friends, coworkers, or family, I will miss you but remember that was your decision and not mine.
If you want to know why I’m saying something now, it’s because I have seen and heard too many people filling the world with hate for people like me without knowing that their actions are affecting the ones they care about. Sometimes it helps to bring acceptance to others when there is a familiar face to their hurtful words and actions.
That’s enough for now. I’m off to buy a Ferrari and find some young blondes to share it with. That may take some time but I also think that’s what I’m supposed to do with a midlife crisis.
Thank you for listening."
Things have changed, a lot. I also still don't have my damn Ferrari.
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Congrats Cindy!
I'll keep including that Ferrari in my visualizations for you.
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Kudos to Owen K Stephens
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Kudos to Owen K Stephens
This is one of the many reasons why I love Owen. Both he and LJ are amazing people. If you've never had a chance to meet either of them I recommend you do if the opportunity comes up. Owen has even provided some advice to help me break into the industry.
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Homophobic stupidity, level: Poland
A man attacked a stall with a "zmień piec!" banner thinking it says "zmień płeć!"
The later would mean "change gender/sex" (there is a single word in Polish for both).
The former, though, means "change furnace" which is part of bigger move to replace obsolete and damaging heaters across the country. Ssh**ty furnaces in which people are burning trash are still terribly common so there is widespread promoting of shift to cleaner furnaces whenever possible, including various financial bonuses offsetting some of the costs.
Apparently there were other people complaining about that stall, as well, until they were asked to read it again.
That says a lot about the intellectual level of some homophobes.
In a bit of a better news, a number of neo-nazi with political connections were put to trial over promoting nazi ideology and criminal activities. Hopfully the matter will be too prominaent for the minister of injustice to bail them out.
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Happy Birthday Cindy!
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I know that this isn't Paizo related, but it is gaming related. I am working on my first actual paid freelancing gig! It's for 13th Age. I love the system. I am focusing on the Forgeborn, which are basically the warforged of the setting. Something that came to mind as I was working on their society is that they wouldn't view gender the same way as races that reproduce sexually. They have no need for gender roles in any capacity within their own communities. I am hoping that I can add a little LGBT stuff to the project. I'm making sure that it's not a huge focus and I'm trying to make sure that the lead isn't attacked for being a SJW. If it was my project, I wouldn't care if I was labeled that way. It's not so I'm trying to keep in mind the needs of the project. I'm just happy that I'm working on this!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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I just had a major victory, at least as far as I'm concerned anyway. I can't try clothing on in the stores right now so I'm stuck having to order online. I had to place my first order for jeans and a new bra. Everything fits! All 3! Take that fashion industry!
I know that this isn't Paizo related, but it is gaming related. I am working on my first actual paid freelancing gig!
Oh, wow!
And congrats on everything fitting! That's pretty amazing.
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I just had a major victory, at least as far as I'm concerned anyway. I can't try clothing on in the stores right now so I'm stuck having to order online. I had to place my first order for jeans and a new bra. Everything fits! All 3! Take that fashion industry!
Congrats. I have ordered all of my clothing online and it has been hit or miss with the fitting. Though I am getting better.
Heh, Sowwy. All the days are blurring together right now for me.
*channels positive feelings and offers hugs to anyone and everyone else who wants or needs some as well*
same. Work is getting...to be more trouble than it is worth. We will see how Monday goes.
@Freehold DM: How is your friend who came out to your group doing?
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Quite well.
Few, if any mistakes are made with respect to name.
Good humor and gaming continue.
They remain a good friend.
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*makes obligatory puns about ace pilots*
Today was my first day of classes in college, which was... a thing that happened (most of class was spent trying to virtual textbooks & stuff to work)
There's a bunch of group chats for the incoming class going, & one of the is for queer students, so I'm probably going to start a game there once everyone figures their schedules out. :)
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That sounds like a good thing to do. You see people on these boards all the time who have ongoing groups that still contain some of their college gamer group.