
Drejk |

Freehold DM wrote:WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT ARON!!!!
Also, good story, Malachi.
Cheers! I was smiling all day. : )
Also, it's changed the way I visualise my bard's fascinate ability. : )
Probably I should tell that party Bard. Another thing that she would probably fail her save against such fascinate effect too.

lynora |

Freehold DM wrote:WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT ARON!!!!
Also, good story, Malachi.
Cheers! I was smiling all day. : )
Also, it's changed the way I visualise my bard's fascinate ability. : )
Her description at the end sounds so very much like what I experience. Actually, before I was out, I used to use my love of fashion as an excuse for why I would stare at a girl I found attractive. Imagine my embarrassment later when I found out how many people had totally figured out the truth. :)

Freehold DM |

Malachi Silverclaw wrote:Her description at the end sounds so very much like what I experience. Actually, before I was out, I used to use my love of fashion as an excuse for why I would stare at a girl I found attractive. Imagine my embarrassment later when I found out how many people had totally figured out the truth. :)Freehold DM wrote:WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT ARON!!!!
Also, good story, Malachi.
Cheers! I was smiling all day. : )
Also, it's changed the way I visualise my bard's fascinate ability. : )
It's weird though- women have little problem checking out one another and simply admiring another's beauty or a trait that they envied without really feeling weirded out by it. Or at least this has been my experience.

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It's weird though- women have little problem checking out one another and simply admiring another's beauty or a trait that they envied without really feeling weirded out by it. Or at least this has been my experience.
I think it's really sad that men are often raised to believe that admiring beauty is an inherently sexual thing. You can recognise beauty in art or nature--why not in human beings?
Although the weird thing for me comes when straight girls start groping each other's boobs or something. Like, yes, please do continue with the show, but why on earth...?

Samnell |

Freehold DM wrote:It's weird though- women have little problem checking out one another and simply admiring another's beauty or a trait that they envied without really feeling weirded out by it. Or at least this has been my experience.I think it's really sad that men are often raised to believe that admiring beauty is an inherently sexual thing. You can recognise beauty in art or nature--why not in human beings?
Although the weird thing for me comes when straight girls start groping each other's boobs or something. Like, yes, please do continue with the show, but why on earth...?
I don't know, but I've observed men groping each other's muscles. Similar, if not quite the same thing. I'm not even into muscle and I think that's homoerotic as all get-out. But then I think about half of traditional male bonding activities are so porntastic that we probably invented them as dual-use social technology centuries ago. :)
If not for us, poor straight men would probably be left staring coldly at each other across a silent room and not emoting. We should get royalties.

Freehold DM |

Alice Margatroid wrote:Freehold DM wrote:It's weird though- women have little problem checking out one another and simply admiring another's beauty or a trait that they envied without really feeling weirded out by it. Or at least this has been my experience.I think it's really sad that men are often raised to believe that admiring beauty is an inherently sexual thing. You can recognise beauty in art or nature--why not in human beings?
Although the weird thing for me comes when straight girls start groping each other's boobs or something. Like, yes, please do continue with the show, but why on earth...?
I don't know, but I've observed men groping each other's muscles. Similar, if not quite the same thing. I'm not even into muscle and I think that's homoerotic as all get-out. But then I think about half of traditional male bonding activities are so porntastic that we probably invented them as dual-use social technology centuries ago. :)
If not for us, poor straight men would probably be left staring coldly at each other across a silent room and not emoting. We should get royalties.
I am warm as all get out. Sure as hell ain't emoting, though. That's for girls!! :-)

Drejk |
1 person marked this as a favorite. |

Alice Margatroid wrote:Freehold DM wrote:It's weird though- women have little problem checking out one another and simply admiring another's beauty or a trait that they envied without really feeling weirded out by it. Or at least this has been my experience.I think it's really sad that men are often raised to believe that admiring beauty is an inherently sexual thing. You can recognise beauty in art or nature--why not in human beings?
Although the weird thing for me comes when straight girls start groping each other's boobs or something. Like, yes, please do continue with the show, but why on earth...?
I don't know, but I've observed men groping each other's muscles. Similar, if not quite the same thing. I'm not even into muscle and I think that's homoerotic as all get-out. But then I think about half of traditional male bonding activities are so porntastic that we probably invented them as dual-use social technology centuries ago. :)
If not for us, poor straight men would probably be left staring coldly at each other across a silent room and not emoting. We should get royalties.
I never understood that male bonding activities. Nor watching sports. Unless its female volleyball.

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The dual-use social tech theory is ingenius, Samnell!
I got asked out by an old friend. More details later! :D
Ok, so a week or two ago a friend of mine(remember AW?) tells me another old friend is hanging out with him. Naturally, wanting to see the friend(J), I get over there ASAP. We all hang, watch some Netflix, and have a good time.
Friday night I get a text from AW telling me J wanted him to ask me if I wanted to go out with him because J was too scared/shy to ask me himself.
I begin a little text-based cat-and-mouse with J before telling that yes, I would like to go out. :)

Limeylongears |
4 people marked this as a favorite. |

If not for us, poor straight men would probably be left staring coldly at each other across a silent room and not emoting. We should get royalties.
Bah! We've got three at least - Angry, Happy and Horny - and they're communicated extremely effectively through grunts and smells, thankyou very much ;)

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2 people marked this as a favorite. |

Awesome, DB3 and Aron!
Things still going well with my boyfriend. After he got over his initial objections to me driving in the snow, he admitted he was chuffed that I braved a blizzard to be holed up in his apartment for the weekend instead of my own. Really, what's the point of being snow-bound and separated from the one you love? I would have none of it.

Freehold DM |

Awesome, DB3 and Aron!
Things still going well with my boyfriend. After he got over his initial objections to me driving in the snow, he admitted he was chuffed that I braved a blizzard to be holed up in his apartment for the weekend instead of my own. Really, what's the point of being snow-bound and separated from the one you love? I would have none of it.
happy, wordless grunt

Drejk |

Samnell wrote:Bah! We've got three at least - Angry, Happy and Horny - and they're communicated extremely effectively through grunts and smells, thankyou very much ;)
If not for us, poor straight men would probably be left staring coldly at each other across a silent room and not emoting. We should get royalties.
You forgot Hungry.
I also have Do Not Care and Sleepy.

waiph |

popping in, after skimming some of the preceeding stuff. there's a lot and i lack an attention span.
If ya don't mind, i'm bouncing back to some of the earlier, "welcome to gaming" experiences which holds the context of what i see...
That particular group of friends/individuals included a
- Pansexual GM (although he seemed to be mostly straight, and other things have caused me to question most everything he'd say to some extent)
- His bisexual GF with whom he was in an closed-again/open-again relationship depending on the situation...
- whom i was introduced to by my delectably lecherous female friend.
the group evolved to include two very masculine bisexuals (one primarily female preference and the other primarily male preference),
- our Pan GM's new bi GF and
- her Bi (theoretically fem preference although more a-sexual than the rest of us) and
- one totally straight guy.
It was really odd to move back home to SoCal (hollywood) from Pittsburgh and that group to my current bunch, two religious guys with middle-american backgrounds (completely tolerant, and not at all homophobic, but definitely from the hertro-normative
- 4 more straight guys (2 of whom do that gay-chicken thing that guys do [no-homo])
- 1 straight girl (thought she was more asexual, but seems to be abstinant)
- and a couple girls who say they're Bi, but also are fond enough of attention that it may not be the case
It's a really weird change, going from being "the straight one" to the group with actual straight people. Back at school it was the gamers and CS students that I hung with, and there were almost no totally straight people there, and even the straight ones were open-minded and experamented and had fun with it.
Yet nerd-culture apparently does have what seems to be a large homophobic element (except saying that girl/girl is hot as long as it's sexual and not an emotional relationship)
It never really occurred to me that it would even be an issue at this point, cause i never encountered the nerd of 80's/90's stereotypes of the hopelessly dorky gamer. It was all LGBT.
as an aside
Has there been any discussion on the kinsey scail? havign to do with tendency of preference, cause i've never met anyone who didn't really have a preference one way or the other. What I've read and experienced indicates that it's missing content

waiph |

Limeylongears wrote:Samnell wrote:Bah! We've got three at least - Angry, Happy and Horny - and they're communicated extremely effectively through grunts and smells, thankyou very much ;)
If not for us, poor straight men would probably be left staring coldly at each other across a silent room and not emoting. We should get royalties.
You forgot Hungry.
I also have Do Not Care and Sleepy.
Hungry doesn't count for me, it folds into Angry for the most part. i do have Full, but that's a fleeting state that i can never quite maintain...

DeathQuaker RPG Superstar 2015 Top 8 |

If I am hungry too long, that turns into angry. Low blood sugar makes for a scary DeathQuaker.
waiph - thanks for posting! That's an interesting experience to have! It's kind of like when I went to college... I went to a school that was originally an all-girls' school which went relatively recently co-ed, and there were still waaaay more guys than girls, so our gaming groups were dramatically female dominant. I was a girl so I was part of the "norm" there but it was both dramatically different both from when I was a kid (the boys who played D&D just stared at me and then ignored me if I asked if I could play with them) and when I went to grad school to a larger public university and met with a much more typical demographic of gamers. Also, there were a fair number of out queer folk at my college too.
And no, I don't recall that we've discussed Kinsey much... I'm not the one to start the conversation, though, I don't know much about him outside the basics.

Samnell |
2 people marked this as a favorite. |

I never understood that male bonding activities. Nor watching sports. Unless its female volleyball.
I don't really get bonding activities in general. People usually have to explain them to me.
"Why is this person shaving his head when he doesn't want to and is not otherwise inclined to?"
"To support his friend."
"But how would that even work?"
"Shared humiliation?"
"That doesn't make sense!"
I think there's a big, nasty paradox in the socially-acceptable models of masculinity, though. The traditional models of masculinity are very limited and don't fit anybody very well. They greatly narrow the range of natural expression require men to deny that they color very far outside the lines. That certainly applies sexually, and a lot of this self-policing involves ducking the appearance of being gay, but I think it's a bit deeper.
Our friends are not necessarily romantic partners, but I think that personal affection and romantic affection are at least closely allied. Wanting to spend time together, caring about one another's feelings, being happy in one another's company, these are all things one feels toward one's partner, but also stuff people feel toward their regular friends. Traditional male bonding activities create a kind of safe social space where one can express those feelings in similar ways without censure.
And of course on some level that produces defensiveness about it by making the feelings something you have to have a special social license to expression, which in turn produces resentment toward those who do not have the license and do it anyway.
Or to paraphrase an old Carlin routine: The most homophobic institutions (he listed sports and the military) are the same ones where men regularly throw their arms around one another and declare that their love for one another.

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Technically I hate being refereed to as anything in the LGBTQI or what ever. I identify as Female. pronouns are what matter to me and to most who are in transition. While I am part of the T community, as I might have mentioned once you are living FT (full-time) and in the gender you are, you really want to distance yourself from being a part of that. Some do not, some become advocates and flag wavers for that part of the community. The rest really like to melt into society and have no one now. Kind of like having a past you want to hide.
Now on the other hand. I do Identify as B but once again labels :-( not fond of labels. o me what does it matter who I love? It should not and it should not matter to anyone else.

Ambrosia Slaad |
2 people marked this as a favorite. |

Limeylongears wrote:Samnell wrote:Bah! We've got three at least - Angry, Happy and Horny - and they're communicated extremely effectively through grunts and smells, thankyou very much ;)
If not for us, poor straight men would probably be left staring coldly at each other across a silent room and not emoting. We should get royalties.
You forgot Hungry.
I also have Do Not Care and Sleepy.
Ok, that's six out of seven dwarves. We just need one more and to cast Snow White.

Ambrosia Slaad |

Technically I hate being refereed to as anything in the LGBTQI or what ever. I identify as Female. pronouns are what matter to me and to most who are in transition. While I am part of the T community, as I might have mentioned once you are living FT (full-time) and in the gender you are, you really want to distance yourself from being a part of that. Some do not, some become advocates and flag wavers for that part of the community. The rest really like to melt into society and have no one now. Kind of like having a past you want to hide.
Now on the other hand. I do Identify as B but once again labels :-( not fond of labels. o me what does it matter who I love? It should not and it should not matter to anyone else.
I've had friends self-label as a Woman of Trans Experience/History. Which makes sense to me; I don't label my mom or dad primarily as "Cancer Survivors", either. And I know at least one (cis) woman who has engaged in bi/lesbian behaviors, but she still considers her orientation straight.

Cheeseweasel |
My general practice is to find out how someone self-identifies, and then use that.
Mind you, there are a lot of people out there whose ability to properly ID themselves or anybody else seems suspect, to me...
But I find that adopting someone's own ID for themselves (even if I have "O.o" moments) cuts down on arguments and hurt feelings, and is so much quicker than trying to convince them to adopt some other ID (just because I think it might be more accurate).
Which is great until I find somebody who is uncertain. Which happens a lot more often than you'd think...

Sissyl |

Drejk wrote:Ok, that's six out of seven dwarves. We just need one more and to cast Snow White.Limeylongears wrote:Samnell wrote:Bah! We've got three at least - Angry, Happy and Horny - and they're communicated extremely effectively through grunts and smells, thankyou very much ;)
If not for us, poor straight men would probably be left staring coldly at each other across a silent room and not emoting. We should get royalties.
You forgot Hungry.
I also have Do Not Care and Sleepy.
Hmmm, Wrath, Lust, Gluttony and Sloth. Perhaps Do Not Care could be Pride. Envy and Greed remaining, and one of them is apparently Happy.

waiph |

call sleepy envy, cause when i'm sleepy i'm super jealous of everyone that is asleep right now. =}
Personally Identifiers are only really valuable in picking out where people may have common experiences. there's a lo to be gained from learning from other's understandig of themselves.
And someone who identifies as Bi may confer with someone else who identifies as Bi and realize that they are Pan, or straight, or should explore transvest-ing (dunno how to verb that word). It may be helpful so they can avoid trying to be something they really aren't without having to go through the difficulites of trying to be someone you aren't. if that makes sense...
I've seen people try to fit a lifestyle that goes with one label, and realizing where they really are is hard. hearing about what they think they are from someone who actually is and looking elsewhere for identity is easier.
Also Kinsey scale: scale of 0 to 6 denotes a range of being completely Heterosexual to completely homosexual. 3 being Bi.
0 = Hetero
1 = Incidental Homosexual behavior
2 = More than Incidental Homosexual behavior
3 = Equally Homosexual and Heterosexual Behavior
4 = More than Incidental Heterosexual Behavior
5 = Incidental Heterosexual Behavior
6 = completely Homosexual behavior
It does denote preference. So a male that tends to prefer males, but also very much likes female company is a 4, where a female that vastly prefers men, but depending on the girl or situation may be attracted to a woman is a 1.
it does ignore identification and intensity of attraction, so nothing for Trans/A-sexual, but as far as noting preferences, it is something can be useful

lynora |

Found this and thought I'd share it.
I'll be honest, I laughed.
lol. That's horrible, yet awesome all at the same time. :D

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Dragonborn3 wrote:lol. That's horrible, yet awesome all at the same time. :DFound this and thought I'd share it.
I'll be honest, I laughed.
Which is exactly why I laughed! XD

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Just in case anyone is interested
Youtube video My transition

Freehold DM |

Just in case anyone is interested
Youtube video My transition
not available on mobile devices....

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IceniQueen wrote:not available on mobile devices....Just in case anyone is interested
Youtube video My transition
It is big 17 minutes so that might affect it on phones

mogwen |
Hi everybody,I've just found this thread recently and I'm still scrolling through it!
I was thinking about my own experience as a gay gamer and I just realized that I've been a gamer way longer than gay! What a shock!
Right now I just arrved in a new city,finally leaving Paris for the country(Yes,I'm french) and I quickly found a new bunch of players with whom I'm going to run the Skulls and shacles Adventure Path(A pity there's no girl on my team,I like mixity on my teams!).Some of them already know I'm gay,some may have guessed...
what Ilike with this new city is that people seem more in who you are than what you are,and after years of living in a suburb full of prejudice I find it rather refreshing!

Vincent Takeda |

Just in case anyone is interested
Youtube video My transition
I'm glad I watched this. Shout out from colorado. Couldnt remember the last time I hit larkspur for the festival but I checked on it and it was back in 2011 when they brought the big cat show back so I guess not that long ago...3 cheers for exif data! My camera is my diary.

mogwen |
Welcome, Mogwen!
I've very much enjoyed having this thread to come to, myself; much like your new city, people here are more interested in who than what.
Glad to have you, hope your new digs continue to be prejudice-free!
Yrs,
The Weasel
Well,thank you dear weasel,I'm gald to join you all on this thread and to share my experiences as a(Oh no!Raise your crucifixes!!) gay roleplayer!
It's funny cause I never identified myself as a gay RPG player,I tend to think that if I have to present myself as such,I should rather say that I'm a indie music lover,horror and SF movies watcher,comic books reader,gay roleplayer,which is,imo,a little bit too long!But you know what,it's a part of what I am,and now I tend to think my sexual orientation has an influence on my roleplay(aside from the fact that I have a tendency to play bards),not that I tend to play gay characters especially,I like to play all kind of characters(right now I play a coward gay papparazzo in hollow earth expedition,a female noble in a homemade steampunk spaceop,a vulgar very heterosexual scum in dark heresy and a young priest in deadlands).But I like to look at a cliché and try to twist it into something different and unexpected,and that, I think my being usually the only gay person on my RPG team helped me with.

Cheeseweasel |
I'm the only one in my current group, but the group I'll be going back to, in Alaska, is entirely gay. Go figure.
They might have picked up a token straight guy while I was away...
My only Deadlands character was a female, Taoist member of the Blessed, amusingly enough. Haven't gotten to PLAY Dark Heresy, but can you say Voidborn Imperial Psyker? Without shuddering?
:)
May you always have a back door with which to escape the torch-bearing mob of villagers!