C'mon, this is a gamer talk forum... we kinda haveta be troll tolerant. :)
PS: Congrats CH, good show!
Huzzah, ch!!I didn't expect to meet such a sweetheart right out of the dating gate. Maybe I'm more of a catch than I thought.
That is all.
Huzzah is right ;)
We are going to see The Dark Knight Rises tomorrow.
DO EET CH!!!!!!
*hums a happy tune*
WOOT!!!!
Huzzah!
Is it time for The Lonely Island?
Grats to everybody gettin' down!
HUZZAH!! GO FOR IT DB3!!
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I got a message on facebook from her(using his account) that said I should call him. I can't remember the exact conversation, but after taking to both of them for a bit, I got picked up and we went back to his house.
Apparently, as long as she is the only girl and I'm not diseased(I am not, by the way. I donate plasma, so I'm rather careful), she doesn't mind. Don't know if it was a one time thing or not though.
That totally rocks. Who cares if it's weird if it works? Fingers crossed for repeat engagements!
DB3, you smooth operator.
Never thought I'd be called that. Thanks!
Just remembered that she said he told her about me too. Curiouser and curioser...
Hope it all works out well for you. :)
On a separate note, how am I supposed to get any work done today if all I can think about is tonight?
*watches clock*
*realizes cubicle does not have a clock*
*checks watch*
just merge tonight's activities with today's paperwork. Talk lovingly to your spreadsheets. Run your fingers through your photocopies before you staple them. Make moon eyes at the monitor. Look over the toner like a bottle of fine wine. Dance with your supervisor at your weekly meeting. Practice talking dirty to the pencil shar- *ahem*well, uh, you get the point.
I have a very good friend who is in a polyamorous relationship with a guy and a girl. Her partners don't participate with each other as she wants to keep each one separate. They know of each other and they're all cool with it.
She is married, and her husband just goes with it. Whatever she wants she gets. In fact, he doesn't even care, just so long as he isn't asked to participate or have any sex at all with her or anyone else.
She is married, and her husband just goes with it. Whatever she wants she gets. In fact, he doesn't even care, just so long as he isn't asked to participate or have any sex at all with her or anyone else.
Is there any particular reason why he is married to her at all?
Indeed. Why no sex with the missus?
Zombie Apocalypse Meeting: Today, I shot a pistol and got 7 out of 10 shots on the paper target. The next clip was 10 for 10.
My chances of survival have dramatically increased with a pistol.
Certainly, if by chances of survival you mean delaying your inevitable death and joining the horde... Either as one of the shamblers or the warm meat inside them.
I used to plan for the zombie apocalypse, but lately I've found Kittenageddon more fun.
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I used to plan for the zombie apocalypse, but lately I've found Kittenageddon more fun.
{purrs} When Gotham Iz Ashez, We Vill Nomz Ur Bwainz Last.
Indeed. Why no sex with the missus?
Well, when they first started dating, he lived with his elderly mom and walked everywhere he went because she wouldn't allow him to get a driver's license, telling him having one made it more likely he'd die)in a car wreck. He was a pretty awkward kid in a lot of ways, from what she told me.
She, if I can put this delicately, had been around the block so much the corners were worn off. He'd only had sex twice, and said he didn't like it. When they first got together and were married she had to initiate it every time, and he just didn't seem to grasp, or even care to, the "arts of pleasing a woman".
But, she loved him and he loved her. To this day they're best friends. She's always been a sexually experimental person, though she repressed a lot of it while living here in Arkansas. When they moved to Portland, OR she began to come out of her shell. She joined a website for fetishists, met a lot of people, and after talking to her husband about it, who just smiled and shrugged then went back to his Transformers collection, she first got involved in a pretty extreme Dom/sub relationship (who she still sees on occasion), then another guy (her other "husband" as she calls him) and a woman.
Having said all that, to show the contrast between them, the best answer I have is he has no interest in sex whatsoever and was actually glad she quit harassing him to engage in it.
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Ay, so this is married friends example. I knew that it could exist theoretically but never seen it myself. As usuall - if it suits all of them and make all of them happy, then it's good.
Quiet.
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I have a topic that I am interested in opinions about, based on a recent conversation:
PDA (Public Displays of Affection) - specifically as applied to same sex couples.
Given the danger of violence to the LGBT community, does this dampen the amount of affection you would be willing to show otherwise? (Presumably, we are talking within the realm of good taste; the topic of how much PDA is appropriate for ANY couple is another matter. The question is, would you show less with a same-sex partner than you would with an opposite sex one?)
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I, personally, choose not to let the prejudice of the ignorant rule my behavior. However, I DO consult with my boyfriends about how comfortable THEY are with PDAs; the comfort of my paramour is a consideration that will alter my natural behavior.
Given the option, I will hold hands rather than not, and hug or kiss my boyfriend as the moment dictates. I do give a nod to decorum -- I don't hold lengthy snogging sessions in public, but that would be true of my relations with women (if I had any). A matter of what's appropriate -- within the realm of good taste.
It helps that I'm 6'2", and around 260#. Bigots seem put off when their target is physically imposing. So I haven't ever had to deal with anything more than shouts of "f+@$&+."
To which I reply, "Yep!"
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I'd hold hands and maybe give them a quick kiss on the cheek. Some one wants to give us trouble, at least there are two of us.
Now, if my boyfriend didn't want to do any of that, I'm okay with that too. Might have a funny moment where one of us gets a flirt. ;)
Also, here is a shameless link.
I have a topic that I am interested in opinions about, based on a recent conversation:
PDA (Public Displays of Affection) - specifically as applied to same sex couples.
Given the danger of violence to the LGBT community, does this dampen the amount of affection you would be willing to show otherwise? (Presumably, we are talking within the realm of good taste; the topic of how much PDA is appropriate for ANY couple is another matter. The question is, would you show less with a same-sex partner than you would with an opposite sex one?)
I'm not a very demonstrative person to begin with, so it's pretty moot to me. But were I inclined and in a relationship, personal safety would play a major role in what I did and didn't do. The gay panic defense has been successfully used in this state at least once to justify a blatant murder and robbery ("I was so frightened I had to stab him twenty times before I stole his wallet, maxed out his credit cards, and didn't come in until the cops caught up with me because of the cards!") so I figure my life's up for grabs.
I no more than go look at another thread and remember a funny dream related to the topic:
For some reason I can't use the bathroom at home, so I'm off walking across town to the K-Mart (a good 3 miles away) to what is apparently the nearest public john in the dream town. I come out of there and it's late. Lots of street light but the place is deserted. That being the case I decide to cut across the parking lot of the mall across the street. For some reason, as I'm walking across the parking lot my clothing is vanishing.
About halfway across the parking lot I realize it's actually a parking garage, but equally deserted. I keep on walking, despite my incredible vanishing wardrobe. I'm just about through and ready to exit the far side when a black minivan cuts me off. Only it's suspended on top of a triangle of I-beams, point down and with two wheels on the bottom. When it stops the front end comes to a rest on the ground and the body of the minivan is canted up about thirty degrees. A group of young toughs in white t-shirts hop out and start threatening me.
Dream Samnell has no patience for this. "If you're going to shoot me, shoot me already!" he says, eager to be done with them.
They oblige, shooting me square in the chest. I stand there for a moment, look down at the welling blood, and my internal monologue runs to "Damn, that kind of hurt," in a bored voice as I collapse.
I wake, deeply amused.
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The discussion came up with the new guy I am seeing. He does not have a lot of relationship experience, so hadn't given it much thought. After we started seeing each other, one of his friends said, with only the best intentions, something to the effect of, "You should be careful in public, because there are people who could want to hurt you." It gave him some pause.
Personally, I always addressed the question on a rather instinctive level without really deliberating over it, and probably erred on the side of restraint. On reflection, though, I'm not really satisfied with that.
I think it behooves anybody to be aware of their surroundings and get a sense of whether they are in a hostile environment. At the same time, I am not comfortable with hiding who I am, so I suppose the answer is highly situational.
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The discussion came up with the new guy I am seeing. He does not have a lot of relationship experience, so hadn't given it much thought. After we started seeing each other, one of his friends said, with only the best intentions, something to the effect of, "You should be careful in public, because there are people who could want to hurt you." It gave him some pause.
Personally, I always addressed the question on a rather instinctive level without really deliberating over it, and probably erred on the side of restraint. On reflection, though, I'm not really satisfied with that.
I think it behooves anybody to be aware of their surroundings and get a sense of whether they are in a hostile environment. At the same time, I am not comfortable with hiding who I am, so I suppose the answer is highly situational.
Anyone seeking to harm you, or any of my brothers who aren't into mothers, over something so stupid as the fact that they are bro-philic in public within reason(sorry guys, the 90s are over, you will be arrested for going balls deep on the Pier), will have to climb over my corpse to do so.
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Anyone seeking to harm you, or any of my brothers who aren't into mothers, over something so stupid as the fact that they are bro-philic in public within reason(sorry guys, the 90s are over, you will be arrested for going balls deep on the Pier), will have to climb over my corpse to do so.The discussion came up with the new guy I am seeing. He does not have a lot of relationship experience, so hadn't given it much thought. After we started seeing each other, one of his friends said, with only the best intentions, something to the effect of, "You should be careful in public, because there are people who could want to hurt you." It gave him some pause.
Personally, I always addressed the question on a rather instinctive level without really deliberating over it, and probably erred on the side of restraint. On reflection, though, I'm not really satisfied with that.
I think it behooves anybody to be aware of their surroundings and get a sense of whether they are in a hostile environment. At the same time, I am not comfortable with hiding who I am, so I suppose the answer is highly situational.
We need to hang again.
We need to hang again.Anyone seeking to harm you, or any of my brothers who aren't into mothers, over something so stupid as the fact that they are bro-philic in public within reason(sorry guys, the 90s are over, you will be arrested for going balls deep on the Pier), will have to climb over my corpse to do so.The discussion came up with the new guy I am seeing. He does not have a lot of relationship experience, so hadn't given it much thought. After we started seeing each other, one of his friends said, with only the best intentions, something to the effect of, "You should be careful in public, because there are people who could want to hurt you." It gave him some pause.
Personally, I always addressed the question on a rather instinctive level without really deliberating over it, and probably erred on the side of restraint. On reflection, though, I'm not really satisfied with that.
I think it behooves anybody to be aware of their surroundings and get a sense of whether they are in a hostile environment. At the same time, I am not comfortable with hiding who I am, so I suppose the answer is highly situational.
This weekend sucks for me. What time is good for you? I have pics from Otakon to share(unless you saw them already that is).
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I need to shift the conversation to something a bit more serious if that's ok? I was wondering how many of you are out to your family and friends? How hard was it? What fallout did you suffer? Did you lose friends or family? How did it affect work?
I ask because I'm going to make an announcement on Monday on Facebook and it's going to be a bombshell to a few hundred people.
Please feel free to read it and give feedback. Only three people have read it so far. One said it was raw and she supported it. Another said that it is exactly how she thinks I should handle it. My HR at work said that she is fully supportive and from all the time we're worked together she can't see how this is even going to be an issue between us. She will protect my rights as a worker.
A midlife crisis is when you look back and see that where you are isn't where you want to be but you also realize that you aren’t done yet. It’s a bit depressing to know that you haven’t lived up to your own expectations let alone the ones put upon you by friends and family over the years. That doesn’t mean that we should throw our hands up and give up. What it does mean is that we still have time to change.
One of my problems has been that I don’t know where I want to go. I don’t know professionally or personally. I know that I would like to be in a leadership position again. I like being in a position where I can have an impact on how well a team does as well as being held accountable for that, both the positive and negative. It’s not just being part of that team. It’s about being the one who guides that team to success. It’s where I feel most comfortable.
I would also like to spend more time with family and friends. It’s sometimes difficult with family because of how far away they can be but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try harder. Friends are people I need to connect with more often as well. Again, it can be hard because we all have our lives but I need to find ways to spend more time with them doing things instead of sitting around and just talking (which is good too but activities are where memories are made).
I need to face my fears and not let them hold me back. We all have fears and they can often be debilitating. Mine is a fear of rejection which is what holds me back the most. It’s why I don’t take risks when I should. It’s why I’m single. It’s why I’m not in the position I want professionally. It’s why I’m broke most of the time. It’s managed to run my life. I can’t let it do that anymore. I certainly need to just accept that I won’t be accepted all the time and that’s perfectly fine.
So here’s to a better half to my life. If 41 is midlife, then I should be able to make it to 82. That means I have 41 more years to do what I want and need. That means I need to take more risks. I need to go places, literally. I need to meet more people. No one is knocking on my door except evangelists. They’re nice people but not what I’m looking for.
I’m going to start by facing one of my biggest fears with rejection. I’m going to no longer hide from myself or others. I’m going to be who I am. I am bisexual. I am also a transvestite. I expect this to be a shock to a lot of people. I also expect that some people will have a problem with it. Those who do can find their way out of my life on their own. I’m not going to push you out. If you think you can learn to adjust, then you are welcome to stay. If you can’t, then remember it’s your problem and not mine. I’m not asking for anyone to treat me any differently. I’m still the same person you knew yesterday, last week, last year, in high school, as a child, etc. Nothing has changed about me. You just didn’t know about this part of me. Just like you probably also didn’t know that I have written a Netbook for Dungeons and Dragons about 15 years ago. It doesn’t change who I am. It just means I don’t have to hide anymore.
No, I’m not going to go to work dressed up. No, I’m not going to hit on you just because you know that I’m interested in men and women. If I haven’t hit on you yet, odds are that I’m not going to start now. It also doesn’t mean I’m looking for you to hook me up with your friends or family (although I may be interested so don’t count me out!). I’m just looking to live my life as I see fit so long as it doesn’t harm me or others.
Those of you who have known and have been supportive, thank you very much. It means a lot. It has helped knowing that I have the support of friends and family. Those of you who aren’t going to change how you treat me, I thank you also. That is actually very supporting because it shows acceptance. Those of you who decide that we can’t be friends, coworkers, or family, I will miss you but remember that was your decision and not mine.
If you want to know why I’m saying something now, it’s because I have seen and heard too many people filling the world with hate for people like me without knowing that their actions are affecting the ones they care about. Sometimes it helps to bring acceptance to others when there is a familiar face to their hurtful words and actions.
That’s enough for now. I’m off to buy a Ferrari and find some young blondes to share it with. That may take some time but I also think that’s what I’m supposed to do with a midlife crisis.
Thank you for listening.
Bob
Some of you can't imagine how hard it was for me to write that let alone to post it. I'm already feeling some anxiety coming on.
Bob
I'm out to my friends...what's left of them....okay, ummm, that's a pretty small number there. They were very supportive at first, but then sort of dropped out of my life. I think it's easy to say supportive stuff, and a lot harder not to let assumptions effect behavior.
It's not something I deliberately hide, but it's also not something I tend to bring up with someone I've just met. Though if I was asked I would answer truthfully that I'm bi.
My sisters know. One is accepting and one is kinda horrified, but neither one of them has kicked me out of their life. We're not close, but we never were, so really nothing changed. I have no intention of telling my grandparents. It would upset them, and at their age (grandpa just turned 90), well, I really see no need to put them through that. And I haven't told my dad yet either. I'm pretty sure he would disown me if he knew. But then, right now the way things are between him and I, I think the rest of the family is just waiting to see who cuts off contact first between the two of us. Long story.
Bob, your announcement appears to be well worded if a bit on the long side. Good luck and I hope that things work out well for you. I think it's very brave to put that out there.
Your announcement looks great to me, Bob.
I'm out to everyone who actually matters to me. It took my parents a while to get from "we still love you" to "oh, ok, this is a part of everyday life" but they were always supportive. I kinda-sorta came out to my non-related aunt back in the spring, but my mother told her years previously:
"Oh I know. It's fine."
I've thought about telling some relatives I dislike just to help keep them out of my life. I suspect the conversation with my fundamentalist cousin would be entertaining, but she lives in Iowa now. They all think I'm kidding when I'm openly indifferent to their opinions or just stare off into space ignoring them while they talk. But I don't care and I'm pretty good at avoiding them anyway so telling them would involve contact. Which I'm trying to prevent. :)
Good luck with coming out and (eventual) transition phase for everyone involved following Bob.
(sorry guys, the 90s are over, you will be arrested for going balls deep on the Pier)This made me smile. :)
You need to hear my wife's story of a sunny walk down the pier in the mid 90's one day at about 3 in the afternoon. If she ever gets an account, I'll see she posts it here.