The LGBT Gamer Community Thread.


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I'm happy though because my bf is visiting tomorrow! :)

Silver Crusade

Yay!


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The Usual Suspect wrote:
Freehold DM wrote:
Odraude wrote:
Victor Ravenport wrote:

I will not pretend that I am worried about the consequences of a Trump presidency, primarily because I suspect that most of the man's initial rhetoric was done to win the nomination within the party and as far as I have seen, he is already commiting a lurch to the left in the few policy announcements that has been released since he became the President-elect.

That being said, he announced that homosexual civil unions is a "settled law" yesterday.

A lot of the worry is less about Trump and more about everything else. The Republicans own the entire government, from the Senate to the House and once the spot is filled, probably the Supreme Court. That level of control means that things like the Religious Freedom act and things similar to it can be passed much easier. For securing trans rights, it is going to be a steep uphill battle.

agreed. The house and Senate are the concerning areas here.

I would also fear some type of reprisal from angry Trump supporters when he doesn't do one or more of the outlandish things he said he would.

I have always been more worried about Mike Pence having control of the White House than Trump. But I have also always worried more about what Trump's deluded supporters will do once they realize that they were taken for a ride. Some groups have already threatened to remove the President Elect if he fails to follow through on his immigration policy as described in his stump speeches.

Trump released the beast, now that beast is a danger to everybody.

I'm actually not more worried about Pence. Pence is a Republican politician. He'd be a disaster, particularly with full control of Congress, but what would he try to do that Congress isn't going to do without him? Or with him, since Trump's talked about basically leaving him in control most of the time.

Trump on the other hand is a wild card. There are all sorts of ways that he can totally f!~! things up that a more experienced politician wouldn't - even an evil bastard like Pence.

Trump + Pence is like the worst of both worlds - all the usual Republican evil, but with more crazy.


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Freehold DM wrote:
Odraude wrote:
A lot of the worry is less about Trump and more about everything else. The Republicans own the entire government, from the Senate to the House and once the spot is filled, probably the Supreme Court. That level of control means that things like the Religious Freedom act and things similar to it can be passed much easier. For securing trans rights, it is going to be a steep uphill battle.

agreed. The house and Senate are the concerning areas here.

I would also fear some type of reprisal from angry Trump supporters when he doesn't do one or more of the outlandish things he said he would.

Actually, my big fear is what a desperate Trump will do to try to distract his followers from his failings once it's become clear that he cannot (and could never) fulfil his campaign promises.

Frankly, that prospect terrifies me.

What does an aspiring autocrat do in that situation? Looking to history, the most likely reaction would be either to scapegoat a vulnerable population ("Don't blame me! It's their fault!!") or to start a war.

Or both.


Haladir wrote:
Freehold DM wrote:
Odraude wrote:
A lot of the worry is less about Trump and more about everything else. The Republicans own the entire government, from the Senate to the House and once the spot is filled, probably the Supreme Court. That level of control means that things like the Religious Freedom act and things similar to it can be passed much easier. For securing trans rights, it is going to be a steep uphill battle.

agreed. The house and Senate are the concerning areas here.

I would also fear some type of reprisal from angry Trump supporters when he doesn't do one or more of the outlandish things he said he would.

Actually, my big fear is what a desperate Trump will do to try to distract his followers once it's become cleaar to them that he cannot (and could never) fulfil his campaign promises.

Frankly, that prospect terrifies me.

What does an aspiring autocrat do in that situation? Looking to history, the most likely reaction would be either to scapegoat a vulnerable population ("Don't blame me! It's their fault!!") or to start a war.

Or both.

Considering that his initial promises revolve around scapegoating vulnerable populations ...

So a war to distract us from his failure to punish the scapegoats enough?


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Not to cause a panic but then there is the fact he is putting Bannon in a position of power too.


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I appreciate the people who have reached out to me. I haven't reached back. It's not because I don't want to. It's because I need to focus my thouhts. Doing it through messages rahter than real time speech is harder for me. So much is lost in the lack ofd tone.

I found my meds to deal with the nightmares. Apparently I had it filled last year when I left the hostpical after having blood clots in my brain, liver, and kidneys. I don't remember filling it, but it doesn't expire until the end of December so I must have. I'm glad that I had the forsight even when I was not able to think clearly.

I'm going to be takikng a break from a lot of things right now. The problem isn't that Trump won the election. It's the friends of mine who support him not understanding why his policies are dangerous to people like us. They aren't listening. That's very frustrating for me. I always try to see another person's point of vierw. I wish that they would try and see mine.

Silver Crusade

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:(

*somber hugs*

Glad you're okay, Bob.


I would 100% recommend taking a break from most media. I have found that TV is stress inducing in the best of times. In times like this, it is an instant anxiety attack. Clicking around on the internet is slightly better, but it is a little too close to the rat hitting the button over and over to maybe get a treat. Not natural, and not good for mental health. The best advice I can give is to get outside, as far from people as possible. Hike into a park, kayak out into a lake, jog or cycle on a backwoods road. Give your brain a chance to reset, and get some fresh air.
Civilization is OK and all, but it isn't meant to be endured non-stop!


Fergie wrote:

I would 100% recommend taking a break from most media. I have found that TV is stress inducing in the best of times. In times like this, it is an instant anxiety attack. Clicking around on the internet is slightly better, but it is a little too close to the rat hitting the button over and over to maybe get a treat. Not natural, and not good for mental health. The best advice I can give is to get outside, as far from people as possible. Hike into a park, kayak out into a lake, jog or cycle on a backwoods road. Give your brain a chance to reset, and get some fresh air.

Civilization is OK and all, but it isn't meant to be endured non-stop!

And friends. And kittens. And giant ridiculous dogs.

All of which did me a world of good this weekend.

Lantern Lodge Customer Service Manager

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This is just a quick reminder that this thread is called "The LGBT Gamer Community Thread." It is a thread where LGBT folks and allies can support each other within the gaming community. This is not a thread for debating politics.


Pathfinder Rulebook Subscriber
thejeff wrote:
*sympathy through light physical contact*

You sly dog. I know what that's from.


Sorry, Sara!

Free hugs to anyone who needs one!

Shadow Lodge

I'm sorry Sara, but this is also the thread where we as the LGBT community come to talk about our problems. Unfortunately, right now that includes feeling sick or being terrified about the election results. I don't think we're so much talking politics and venting our fears in the one safe place we feel comfortable doing so.

We will of course do our best to remain civil about it.

Shadow Lodge

The Usual Suspect wrote:

I'm sorry Sara, but this is also the thread where we as the LGBT community come to talk about our problems. Unfortunately, right now that includes feeling sick or being terrified about the election results. I don't think we're so much talking politics and venting our fears in the one safe place we feel comfortable doing so.

We will of course do our best to remain civil about it.

Sorry again Sara, I did not see the post that was somewhat disruptive and did not realize you had to delete a post.


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I had a disturbing thing occur. Many things happen it seems when you take on responsibility for a child. One thing is dealing with things that occur at their schools.

They are sending our children to see something called "Fight the new Drug". Supposedly it is about fighting pornography and stating pornography is the new drug. My child is a little young for this. They had a parents forum tonight to see what this program was presenting.

IN MY OPINION, they mixed truths and falsehoods. That wasn't the most disturbing about the presentation to me.

I don't know if any of you who are LGBT ever heard of something called Gay Conversion therapy. I think there are those who claim it has worked for them (I don't have any evidence for or against their claims, I just know there are those who claim it). If someone chooses to participate, I feel that they should be allowed to do so (just like people do with various herbal supplements).

In my personal experience from what I've seen, it is a horrible and horrendous thing which has been proven to be ineffective. One of my cousins went even a step further than that and had electroshock treatment and the whole nine yards. Guess what, he never changed, he was always homosexual. I think many like me would be outraged at such a program and the false pretenses it acts under when forced on others.

This program (FighttheNewDrug) seems to push that not only is pornography a drug, but it can be cured by very similar methods as Gay conversion therapy.

This BOTHERS ME A LOT. Now, if someone wants to choose of their own choice to enter this program or one like it because it mirrors their opinions, and IT IS OF THEIR OWN FREE CHOICE, I'm fine with that. I'm actually very pro free speech and action.

HOWEVER...

1. My child is pretty young...though they may have opinions, they are still VERY influenced by what they see and hear.

2. They ARE YOUNG...they don't need exposure to this type of junk science yet.

3. That the school district not only is supporting this, but advocating this program and not only having it for their high school students, but all the way down to the elementary age children.

I think #2 and #3 are excessively bothersome to me. Furthermore, even if they claim they are NOT anti-LGBT...in the presentation, in the way the program is presented (as I said, it sounds a LOT like the Gay conversion therapy programs that are out there, except with a different focus), and what I've seen, it SEEMS VERY ANTI-LGBT. I don't have any evidence, it's just a feeling that I seem to get.

I don't know how to say it, but have you ever just gotten a strong and very definite feeling something was Anti-LGBT? That's all I have, but it's pretty strong there.

I want to speak out and ask them just who do they think they are pushing this on young children. I don't know who to speak to without really making a ton of waves though (I'm not exactly the white heterosexual norm that is the ruling group of the community, and everyone else is pretty much ostracized from it). It makes me angry that they would push such viewpoints on children...

As adults we have a better grasp of identity and individuality, and are less influenced by propaganda like this. What can I do when a school system supports this?

What can I do? I feel angry about this, and sort of bereft of my rights even more since it includes not just me, but my child in this.

Has anyone dealt with something like this, and what can I do about this?

RPG Superstar 2009 Top 16

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As your child's only advocate you are 100% within your rights to voice your concerns and outright reject anything that you thing would be harmful or inappropriate to your kid.

They don't get to tell you what is right for your child.


GreyWolfLord wrote:

I had a disturbing thing occur. Many things happen it seems when you take on responsibility for a child. One thing is dealing with things that occur at their schools.

They are sending our children to see something called "Fight the new Drug". Supposedly it is about fighting pornography and stating pornography is the new drug. My child is a little young for this. They had a parents forum tonight to see what this program was presenting.

IN MY OPINION, they mixed truths and falsehoods. That wasn't the most disturbing about the presentation to me.

I don't know if any of you who are LGBT ever heard of something called Gay Conversion therapy. I think there are those who claim it has worked for them (I don't have any evidence for or against their claims, I just know there are those who claim it). If someone chooses to participate, I feel that they should be allowed to do so (just like people do with various herbal supplements).

In my personal experience from what I've seen, it is a horrible and horrendous thing which has been proven to be ineffective. One of my cousins went even a step further than that and had electroshock treatment and the whole nine yards. Guess what, he never changed, he was always homosexual. I think many like me would be outraged at such a program and the false pretenses it acts under when forced on others.

This program (FighttheNewDrug) seems to push that not only is pornography a drug, but it can be cured by very similar methods as Gay conversion therapy.

This BOTHERS ME A LOT. Now, if someone wants to choose of their own choice to enter this program or one like it because it mirrors their opinions, and IT IS OF THEIR OWN FREE CHOICE, I'm fine with that. I'm actually very pro free speech and action.

HOWEVER...

1. My child is pretty young...though they may have opinions, they are still VERY influenced by what they see and hear.

2. They ARE YOUNG...they don't need exposure to this type of junk science yet.

3. That the school district not only is...

if this is the thing I'm thinking of, this is nothing new. I am familiar with this philosophy(porn as a drug) from the 80s, where it was used in an attempt to censor everything from horror films to action films to books, and always with a very quiet religious bent. It is bunk, and easily recognized as such.


Pathfinder Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Not only that, but if anything it *drives* more folks *to* the 'forbidden fruit' than *away*.

...just like every time someone committed suicide in school, they'd have this huge thing about being uplifting and everyone's happy and life doesn't suck and... completely missing the point, which in some cases drove MORE people to crisis than away from it...

This was a few years ago, before grief counseling and the like was a thing...

Silver Crusade

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I think what I want, is to sleep, and not wake up. I've always wanted that, ever since I was a kid, even for different reasons. I just never want to wake up.

But I woke up, again. Still here, in another day.

*offers hugs to anyone and everyone that wants or needs them*

Silver Crusade

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Sorry, here, have some music to hopefully help you along today.

There's only lyrics right at the beginning, the rest is happy, easy listening.


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@GreyWolfLord

WOW, I have no idea how they managed to push that through a public school system; my mother is a high-school teacher, and---at least around here---showing or referencing anything which is even the slightest bit sexual in nature requires approval from the principal, superintendent, and unanimous support from the parents of all the children in the class (if anyone doesn't get a permission slip signed, the material can't be used). I don't have any idea what is or isn't allowed where you live, but I'd consult a lawyer; they (the school system) REALLY shouldn't be allowed to show that material, to the best of my knowledge they CAN NOT without parental consent. Please share your concerns with the local PTA/at the next school board meeting; this is the sort of thing parents will rally behind, and school board officials are elected, so they tend to listen when lots of angry parents start yelling at them.

EDIT: On a slightly different note: You could ask the teacher to let your child leave the room/do something else while the material is covered; many are willing to work with parents who feel strongly about certain issues. If all that fails, parents can petition the school system to enroll their child in a different district; I don't know where you live/what that's like, but it might be something to look into. Also look into private/charter schools, or homeschooling if there are no other options.

Scarab Sages

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Rysky wrote:

I think what I want, is to sleep, and not wake up. I've always wanted that, ever since I was a kid, even for different reasons. I just never want to wake up.

But I woke up, again. Still here, in another day.

*offers hugs to anyone and everyone that wants or needs them*

Well, good morning, glad you are awake :-)

Silver Crusade

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feytharn wrote:
Rysky wrote:

I think what I want, is to sleep, and not wake up. I've always wanted that, ever since I was a kid, even for different reasons. I just never want to wake up.

But I woke up, again. Still here, in another day.

*offers hugs to anyone and everyone that wants or needs them*

Well, good morning, glad you are awake :-)

Thankies.

Good morning to you and to everyone else as well.


I'm going to try to resolve this with the school this morning. I just don't understand how this is done. The more I hear about it, it seems there may even be some religious connection to this group.

How does a school district get away with stuff like this when there's supposed to be separation between church and state?


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GreyWolfLord wrote:

I'm going to try to resolve this with the school this morning. I just don't understand how this is done. The more I hear about it, it seems there may even be some religious connection to this group.

How does a school district get away with stuff like this when there's supposed to be separation between church and state?

Because unfortunately a lot of people want that separation to be only one way - they want the state staying out of their beliefs, but they fail to see how that translates to them not being able to use state institutions to push their own beliefs onto all and sundry. In fact, many would see it as their responsibility to make sure they're spreading the truth as they see it. (Ironically, those are the people I've heard tend to use the words "separation of church and state" the most.) And if the ones who are supposed to be overseeing that separation hold with the beliefs of this group, they may genuinely not recognize that there's an issue to oversee, because to them it doesn't look like one. After all, there's plenty of secular groups that decry pornography, too.

Silver Crusade

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Pathfinder Lost Omens, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Hey, I've never posted in this thread because I didn't really feel like it was my place, and I don't really know how to say most of this but I want to offer you all my love, and tell you that I know things are scary and that I've got your backs if you'll have me.

I've been reading a lot your stories on here and they resonate because I see reflections of people I love who've been saying similar things to me, and so I want to tell you that you're cared for and that you've got people in your corner who will fight for you, whether that means marching in the streets or doing a movie marathon or anything in between. I don't know if I'm saying this well at all, I just want to let you all know that people care, and I hope you choose to stay with us.

And, on the off chance that anyone reading this is in the Lincoln NE area and needs a friend or six, I recently moved from there and could introduce you to some awesome & inclusive gaming circles. And hell, if any of you are near Hamburg and want to hang please pm me.

<3

Scarab Sages

For those of you frightened by the election results (and that's most people), there's a petition to the Electoral College to honor the popular vote and choose Hillary Clinton instead. It's a long shot, but more signatures can only help. They CAN do this if they so choose, and Trump has ignored/broken enough American election traditions himself (tax returns, anyone???) that it makes more than a bit of sense.


Pathfinder Rulebook Subscriber

A very long shot. EC votes (not sure if all or just the ones that conflict with the results) still need to be approved by congress.

EDIT: Sorry, just saw the ixnay on the political stuff. I won't comment further on this.


Boyfriend couldn't visit bc work schedule changed, and its rainy today so mood is bad. Luckily: I'm bringing in my agender drow druid to a 5E game tonight, and this afternoon we have a meeting in my schools LGBTQ club, so that's really nice.


Pathfinder Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
189birds wrote:
Boyfriend couldn't visit bc work schedule changed, and its rainy today so mood is bad. Luckily: I'm bringing in my agender drow druid to a 5E game tonight, and this afternoon we have a meeting in my schools LGBTQ club, so that's really nice.

Sorry to hear about the lack of visit and rainy days can be rough.

Is 'agender' as in 'gender not present'? *doesn't recognize the term, and is guessing*

Good luck at the meeting, and be careful.

Silver Crusade

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189birds wrote:
Boyfriend couldn't visit bc work schedule changed, and its rainy today so mood is bad. Luckily: I'm bringing in my agender drow druid to a 5E game tonight, and this afternoon we have a meeting in my schools LGBTQ club, so that's really nice.

*offers hugs*


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Wei Ji the Learner wrote:


Is 'agender' as in 'gender not present'? *doesn't recognize the term, and is guessing*

Agender is usually defined as a Non-Binary gender identity where someone identifies as being 'genderless' or not identifying as part of any place on the gender spectrum. But yes, basically what it sounds like, it means 'no gender' usually.


Fight the new Drug tax info:

Here is a link to their tax information.
[url=https://projects.propublica.org/nonprofits/organizations/263550143]
I didn't really notice much, but I'm not an expert on this stuff. It seems they take in under a million a year, which is fairly small. I did not find who their major contributors are, which could reveal a lot. They are out of Utah, so my guess is religion is not as separate as they claim.


News from Tender

TL:DR The company is offering many more gender options.


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So I have found a trans-rights activist who is going to help me navigate my identity a bit more. I'm a difficult person to work with when I'm scared and confused, but she is very patient and understanding. I don't know where I'm going to go from here. I don't think I'm trans, but I know that I'm not cis. I just want to know what I am.


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Bob you are one of us whatever you are you are our friend. Just take care of yourself and we will be here to back you up.

Edit - I just reread the wording and I do not mean it as an insult. Just as the fact that we care about you. All of you no matter what.


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I know that most people here at least tolerate me and that some even like me. I just want to know who I am so I can start looking for a companion. It's very lonely out here and if I don't know who I am, how can I figure out what I want?


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Bob_Loblaw wrote:
I know that most people here at least tolerate me and that some even like me. I just want to know who I am so I can start looking for a companion. It's very lonely out here and if I don't know who I am, how can I figure out what I want?

I hope you find out who you are, and I think we all wish to give you all the help and support that we can give you.


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When I came to the Paizo boards, I was just looking to discuss Pathfinder. I never thought that I would find this to be a place where I can openly discuss something this serious. I really think that the original poster, who had no intention on this going this far, has done a great service to the community and the game.

Scarab Sages

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Bob, best of luck finding and accepting yourself. I hope it will be the first step on a fulfilling journey. 'What'ever you are - you come across as a good and likeable 'who'.

Silver Crusade

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*hugs Bob*

*hugs everyone else who wants one*

More upbeat wordless music for the day.

(Though I am a bit bummed that they took down a really awesome remix of it)


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Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob


Bob, I hope your journey of self-discovery goes well. Whatever you learn in the process, I hope you figure out how to be the best "you" you can be. :)


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Bob_Loblaw wrote:
So I have found a trans-rights activist who is going to help me navigate my identity a bit more. I'm a difficult person to work with when I'm scared and confused, but she is very patient and understanding. I don't know where I'm going to go from here. I don't think I'm trans, but I know that I'm not cis. I just want to know what I am.

Bob, for what it’s worth, because I know how awful it can be to be stuck in the middle of it, I’m sure it will come. When I first came out as trans, I was very unsure about where I fit under that umbrella, and I guess it took me just under a couple of years to go from, “OK, definitely not a man,” through “Need a label for androgynous that feels right,” and genderqueer, to, “Hmm. I guess woman is the best word for me after all.” In retrospect, it shouldn’t have been all that surprising, since that was the clear overall trajectory, and, goodness knows, how I was happily presenting and identifying by the end of it, but (and I just happen to have been thinking about this lately) for me there was no epiphany, no one bright moment at the time in which everything fell into place, just, one day, some indeterminate time after, the thought occurred to me: “I’m a woman, have been presenting as one for such and such a time, and both of those things feel veryvery good.” :)

All of which is to say, it may take time to find what’s right for you, and it might even sneak up on you ("Oh, so that's what that was!" :) ), but whether that turns out to be something under the trans umbrella, something related but different, or something so wild and new that it will blow all our minds, you do you, and it will be glorious. We’re rooting for you.


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I am still glad that you all are around and I still feel that you all make the world a better place by being here!


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Good news from Minnesota. A judge has ruled in favor of a transgender plaintiff in a case involving MinnesotaCare, which is the state's health care program for people with low incomes.

MinnesotaCare was covering hormone therapy, but not gender surgery. (In this case, the plaintiff was trying to get a double mastectomy covered.) The judge ruled that covering one and not the other violates the state constitution, at one point writing:

Quote:
The statute denies transgender persons the right to control their own bodies.

Good to see a court victory, and good to see our right to control our own bodies cited like this.

Full ruling is available here.


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And here's the trailer for the upcoming HBO doc, The Trans List, a follow-up to the previous docs The Black List, The Out List, The Latino List, and The Women's List.

Some more details here.

Interviews with Laverne Cox, Janet Mock, Caitlin Jenner, Miss Major Griffin-Gracy, Buck Angel, Bambi Salcedo, Caroline Cossey and others. Seems that all of the interviews were conducted by Janet Mock, which is a good sign.

Playing Dec. 5 on HBO. Hollywood Reporter review here.

Watching this makes me feel a little less horrible about my voice, so there's that at the very least.

Lantern Lodge Customer Service Manager

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The Usual Suspect wrote:

I'm sorry Sara, but this is also the thread where we as the LGBT community come to talk about our problems. Unfortunately, right now that includes feeling sick or being terrified about the election results. I don't think we're so much talking politics and venting our fears in the one safe place we feel comfortable doing so.

We will of course do our best to remain civil about it.

Sorry, I didn't intend to imply you couldn't talk about politics in here. What I meant was that it isn't the place for people to come in and try to debate policies and speak in a manner that feels like its invalidating the feelings and worries of LGBT folks and their allies in this thread; which is what my read of the situation was when I was trying to get context for flagged posts. Please feel free to email community if you have additional concerns about this.

~Sara

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