The LGBT Gamer Community Thread.


Gamer Life General Discussion

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I'm black. I'm worried for everyone who does not fall into the aforementioned category above. Because my God, it's going to be ugly.

I don't want to know what the upcoming convention schedule is going to look like.


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There were some awful things that happened yesterday.

But also some good things.

Kamala Harris won a senate seat, the first Indian-American elected to the Senate, and California's first African-American senator.

In addition to Harris, two other women of color were elected to the Senate: Tammy Duckworth in Illinois, and Catherine Cortez Masto in Nevada.

Ilhan Omar was elected to the State House in Minnesota, the first Somali-American to be elected to legislative office.

An openly bi governor was elected for the first time, Kate Brown in Oregon

Though we won't know for a certain for another week or so, it seems that Pat McCrory may have lost the governorship of North Carolina. Cooper is ahead by less than 5,000 votes, and there are apparently still provisional ballots to be tallied. But, for the moment, Cooper is in the lead, and has claimed victory.

And current reports indicate that Hillary won the popular vote. There are a lot of good people out there in this country. And a lot of good people here in this thread.

These are small lights against the dark of what happened yesterday, but they are lights nevertheless.

Going to be some rough years ahead. But I think so many of us who post in this thread have endured and made it through struggles of one kind or another already. This is another struggle. But we'll get through this.

Take care of yourselves, everyone.


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I spent Brexit day feeling half-stunned, so I can appreciate how people are feeling today. I also know what it feels like to dread the spectre of lost legal rights and reduced quality of life due to the shortsightedness of of one's fellow countrymen.

Pro-tip: given that every major public vote in which I've participated since at least 2010* has gone against my chosen side, next time I'll let you know who I'm voting and you can bet on the other side to win. :shifty:

(* = The exception was the Scottish referendum, but I wasn't eligible to vote.)


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Pathfinder Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

On the Illinois Senate Race:

It was also groundbreaking in some ways because *both* candidates for the spot have disabilities and fought through them to campaign.

Mark Kirk had a nearly catastrophic stroke and fought back from it dramatically, and Tammy Duckworth lost her legs in Iraq flying an Apache on a combat mission.


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I want to leave this here.

If you scroll down, you'll see a demographic map for 18-26 year olds. That's the important one.

Take a long look at it. That is the future.

Things will get better, I promise. Just hang on for a while longer.

Silver Crusade RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32

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I'm glad this thread can be a place of community and support, especially now.

The rest of this forum, well...

I've been thinking about this for a little bit, that some people on these forums consistently say a lot of garbage rhetoric that I don't agree with, and I imagine it may get worse soon. And it's not just that I personally disagree with some posters, I'm specifically thinking of some prolific and frequent Community Guidelines violators who were banned - the moderation team agreed that they would not allow space for certain people.

And while I'm relieved to see those people gone, I endured having to experience them for what seems like entirely too long - which is part of why I started distancing myself from the site. My basic complaint is that posters who consistently violated prohibitions of exclusion, harassment, and bigotry were given enough space that they drove me away from the Paizo online community/communities because I was tired of dealing with their bad behavior. In short: people who were removed from the community effectively removed others from this community through what has been determined to be unacceptable behavior.

This should maybe be in the Website Feedback subforum or in an email to the moderation team, but I'm tired and I don't know if I want to make this a formal conversation on that level when I'd be too burned out to carry it through. The basic gist of what I'm saying is I want the moderation team to be more decisive in removing toxic posters. It's all well and good for people to have different opinions, but there shouldn't be space made for people who continually insult and disrespect the more vulnerable members of our community.

I'm rambling… but I think it's worth re-examining what we want the forum community to be and what tools we have to achieve it.

Paizo Employee Managing Editor

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I'll pass your words on to the moderators, mechaPoet.


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People stay safe and know you aren't alone.

Tangent:

Wei Ji the Learner wrote:


On the Illinois Senate Race:

It was also groundbreaking in some ways because *both* candidates for the spot have disabilities and fought through them to campaign.

Mark Kirk had a nearly catastrophic stroke and fought back from it dramatically, and Tammy Duckworth lost her legs in Iraq flying an Apache on a combat mission.

Mark Kirk literally tweeted Duckworth didn't stand up for Illinois back in March. He can get bent at that point.


Pathfinder Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
Abraham spalding wrote:


Mark Kirk literally tweeted Duckworth didn't stand up for Illinois back in March. He can get bent at that point.

He also gundecked his lunch meeting with the press by keeping his mouth shut and not answering any questions about goals or objectives save in the most general of terms.

That was enough to cost him the endorsements of all the Chicagoland newspapers.

If he'd spoken up, he'd've had plenty of material to work from, but several papers noted his silence as particularly telling.

Liberty's Edge Developer

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This is going to be a rough four years, but at this point the cat is out of the bag: Gay people exist. Bi people exist. Trans people exist. They can try to control us. They can try to scare us. But they can't erase us. And the next generation--the 18-25 demographic--voting overwhelmingly progressive.

Give to charities if you have the means. NAACP, ACLU, Human Rights Campaign, and the Transgender Legal Defense Fund are going to be doing most of the heavy lifting in the coming years, and every dollar you give might save a life.

All we have to do is educate and endure. Scaring people is easy. Killing people is a hell of a lot harder. You can endure this. If a coward like me can survive beatings and rape and threats and homelessness, by god any one of you can survive the next four years. You f$@#ers are tougher and smarter than me without even trying.

I know how tempting it is to just leave when you see the world's ugly face. But if you work and survive, you can make sure the kids who come later won't ever have to see that face.

If you need support, please call and find assistance: Trans Lifeline - 877-5658860


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As a straight white male, I am proud of you all! My respect has grown a lot by knowing you all. I can never completely understand what you are going through, but I can support you to the best of my abilities. Please keep up the good work.

Liberty's Edge

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What Sharoth said. And so many other very good people on this thread

You will want to be there for the rainbows at the end of the storm

I found some strength in the following words. I wish to share them with you all with my deepest respect

******

In brightest day

In darkest night

All will be well

******

I wish you all the very best

RPG Superstar 2009 Top 16

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The support will be there.

Nothing they try to push through will happen without a fight. Many of us will not stand by and watch our friends be made to suffer.

Silver Crusade

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Woke up and decided to stay around a bit longer today, again.

So,

*offers hugs to anyone and everyone that needs or wants them*


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Rysky wrote:

Woke up and decided to stay around a bit longer today, again.

So,

*offers hugs to anyone and everyone that needs or wants them*

Glad to have you around still. ~hands back your wallet~ Next time please keep more cash in there so it is worth picking your pockets. Your cash is still in there, but The One Ring will be kept by me.

~grins~


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Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Rysky wrote:

Woke up and decided to stay around a bit longer today, again.

So,

*offers hugs to anyone and everyone that needs or wants them*

Sometime's a day at a time's what you've got, and that's ok.

*vehemently returns hugs, because the best hugs are reciprocal hugs*

For a bit of good news, I came out as bi and demi to my husband of seven years last night. And he was cool as a cucumber - his exact words were "you do you, at least you decided to sleep with me". And the somewhat-expected "well when's the three-way" jokes. Can't fault him for having a dream. :) I don't know why I'd convinced myself he'd freak out or that he wouldn't get it, but if he were any less troubled by the matter he'd have spontaneously fallen asleep. It was...really nice.

Plus, my Pathfinder group's starting Wrath of the Righteous in a couple of weeks. The GM's running Kyra as an NPC healer, and he's already offered me a chance to lesbian flirt if I want - and I haven't even come out to him yet. Sorely tempted to take him up on it. A couple of others in the group are kind of asshats when it comes to anyone non-cis-het, but I'll keep Mr. GM. ^.^


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Rysky wrote:

Woke up and decided to stay around a bit longer today, again.

So,

*offers hugs to anyone and everyone that needs or wants them*

Very happy that you're here and that you're sticking around.

My boyfriend is really helping me get through these times tbh.

Hopefully this weekend I'll be able to meet with the players of the game that I run- we're all queer and here and angry, and it's nice to talk with them and escape to killing a bunch of snake people (or, in my case, being the snake people, since I'm GMing)

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Companion, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

Yay, good luck to both of you!

*continues hugging*

Scarab Sages

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Coming from a small town in Germany, I must say I wasn't really aware of the problems LGBTQ people had to face until the end of my teenage years. I wasn't what you could call popular or well adjusted myself (physically and socially). I didn't care about somebody being gay or 'whatever', and I figured most folks wouldn't - if anything they wouldn't face more problems than I did.

When a friend of mine came out and did want to meet other LGBTQ folk another friend of mine, whom I knew for some time was gay, mentioned that there was a regular meeting at a local pub. I told my friend who was coming out, but he would't go alone so I offered to accompany him.

During the first eveing I had to hear stories of almost every man and a few of the women at the table that they have been insulted, threatened, beaten, sometimes had rocks thrown at them on more than one occasion - my faith in humanity was shaken quite a bit that evening and I started to have a more proactive outlook on the issue of LGBTQ (well, frankly mostly GL at first, mostly due to a lack of knowledge and experience) rights and acceptance.

Time did well, politics changed and while not all (probably not even most) was good, I heard less stories about abuse and violence, most LGBTQ folks I know living in my area sayd that they felt pretty secure now, some younger folks to my delight never experienced any harsh reactions. The neo-fascist scene in my hometown moved away for lack of acceptance (which made me quite happy as I have been a victim of ultra rightwing violence myself).

The last years brought problems back that I had hoped forgotten. insults at school became comonplace again, people rejecting even the most basic acceptance for LGBTQ people resurfaced. While my hometown is still a bit of a haven (the right wing party that brought/picked up much of this ugly old stuff got 50 people to listen to their pamphlet while 1,500 marched through the city protesting aginst them), seeing prejudices against any kind of minority wriggling themselfs back into everday politics makes me sick - seeing the canditate for presidency in the US getting elected not in small part for these prejudices...makes me want to cry.

I hope that you all, especially in the US, right now manage to stay reasonably safe, I hope and pray it will not come to the worst and manage to keep the values and virtues of a liberal, enlightened society safe for our own and the following generations during the storm of hate and bile that seems to rage through the world right now.

Sorry for the 'storytime', but I am not exactly known to be brief. Be safe and hugs to everyone who wants them.


What if I don't want to continue fighting? What if I'm tired of getting my ass handed to me? What if I don't really want to be a part of a world that doesn't want me here? This has been a struggle for nearly 40 years for me. It's tiring. I'm so close to being done.


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I'm sure somebody else would say the reconverting words my mind is unable to put together, Bob, I just wanted to say you've been a good person/poster the time I've been in the paizo forum, I hope your situation improves.


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Bob, seeing LGBTQ people older than me (like you) on the forums here dealing with their identity and questioning their identities and discovering who they are is so amazing and makes me so hopeful for my future. I don't want you to define yourself solely off of your effect on others, but I do want to say that you are inspiring to me in your continuing struggle- I've spent several years doubtful that I'd make it to my 20s, and so seeing older LGBTQ people gives me hope that I'll keep fighting, even if I want to be done.

Scarab Sages

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Bob_Loblaw wrote:
What if I don't want to continue fighting? What if I'm tired of getting my ass handed to me? What if I don't really want to be a part of a world that doesn't want me here? This has been a struggle for nearly 40 years for me. It's tiring. I'm so close to being done.

Knowing you only from these boards, I can say it would sadden me. From where I am, I can only offer you my virtual hand and little more. While I can't put myself into your shoes, I am suffering from depression and I know the feeling of being close to quit fighting. Please don't. If you can't fight anymore for now, seek out the relative safety of your friends and loved ones to help you through. Don't let hope die. Live through the storm to either pick up the fight again when you are ready or to be the safe haven and the council for another generation. Don't let the bigotted haters end the fight!


Let me know when the protests starts. I usually get a seat in front of the dogies. Not so good with the words thing but I make a great meat shield.

Shadow Lodge

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Rennaivx wrote:


For a bit of good news, I came out as bi and demi to my husband of seven years last night. And he was cool as a cucumber - his exact words were "you do you, at least you decided to sleep with me". And the somewhat-expected "well when's the three-way" jokes. Can't fault him for having a dream. :) I don't know why I'd convinced myself he'd freak out or that he wouldn't get it, but if he were any less troubled by the matter he'd have spontaneously fallen asleep. It was...really nice.

Glad to hear I'm not the only one who could be out to their spouse. I was able to do it from day 1 (almost) when we were still dating. It hasn't always been smooth, but she's always been there for me and understanding. Wish I could be that open with the entire world.

Contributor

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Sharoth wrote:
I can never completely understand what you are going through, but I can support you to the best of my abilities. Please keep up the good work.

Absolutely echoing that sentiment, and adding words from a friend who attended a protest yesterday:

"You shouldn't have to justify your humanity, but we're ready to fight for it."


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Pathfinder Maps, Pathfinder Accessories, Pawns, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

Transgender suicide hotline needs volunteers

Translifeline

And donations, of course, but folks in this thread may want to check it out.


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"You shouldn't have to justify your humanity, but we're ready to fight for it."

This, and...

Yes...yes we are.

Liberty's Edge

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CrystalSeas wrote:

Transgender suicide hotline needs volunteers

Translifeline

And donations, of course, but folks in this thread may want to check it out.

I don't have much time, but I do have money. Thanks for sharing.

I must say that I'm glad to have my local trans community during these times. We sort of all huddled together at my house around midnight est when the results started rolling in. While it doesn't make the crapfest coming up any better, it does serve as a reminder that my community is there and we have each other.

It was, however, heartbreaking yesterday to see many of my younger trans friends - those who are 19-early 20s - covered with new cuts and other self-harm wounds when I went to my weekly meet-up. It breaks my heart to see so many people internalizing this hatred. I hate how this is killing us. I'm so sad by the fact that my good friends feel like they can't transition now, because the atmosphere is so toxic. I'm so sad that suicide calls and risk and attempts are rising. I want to take care of my people, especially those most failed and those most at risk.

I want to say don't let the bastards win and live your life in resistance, but I know it's not that easy. Many of our lives are contingent, marginalized, and organized around us having to fight for every inch of livability. I'm going to continue pushing forward in hopes that it makes space for more people.


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Bob_Loblaw wrote:
What if I don't want to continue fighting? What if I'm tired of getting my ass handed to me? What if I don't really want to be a part of a world that doesn't want me here? This has been a struggle for nearly 40 years for me. It's tiring. I'm so close to being done.

In the military we go on ruck marches. "Full kit" 12 miles plus affairs.

We stop for breaks occasionally of course. When we do no more than half the unit breaks at a time, the rest pull security. Then we trade places.

So take a break Bob. You've earned it. Just be you. All of you including Cindy. We got your six. And when you are recovered we'll keep moving. No Soldier left behind.

Don't think that just because you got your butt kick that we think less of you. You can do everything right and still lose sometimes. That doesn't make your efforts any less and should not diminish the pride you take in doing the right thing to the best of your ability.

Rest, recover and do so knowing people have your back


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My biggest worry as a custom white male is my friends that are not will not trust me anymore and my life will be duller and less full for that loss.

Selfish I admit, but I would hate to lose all that is good and beautiful that the entire LBTQ community brings to my life, culture, and the world.


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Bob_Loblaw wrote:
What if I don't want to continue fighting? What if I'm tired of getting my ass handed to me? What if I don't really want to be a part of a world that doesn't want me here? This has been a struggle for nearly 40 years for me. It's tiring. I'm so close to being done.

"The revolutionary must not only be brave, but wise in order to avoid the killing fields."

If you don't feel like fighting, don't. Take a rest for a few days, and gather up your strength. No one said you have to deal with the crazy s*$! that has been going on every waking hour of the day. Choose your battles and fight on your terms.
I think I speak for everyone here when I say, WE want you here!


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I came out as bi to my family in October, and to some circles of friends before then, but I've been finding it very hard to be motivated to share anything at work, especially now.
A lot of people I work with seem to be more the kind of people that say they support LGBT rights, but on a personal and one-on-one interactions aren't so great at being supportive. Support it when it's convenient, or because peer pressure.
I know I'm lucky for that at least, but when people were talking about Trump's win, and saying I (and the other 'straight' white guys) were the 'safest' ones, I just didn't correct them.

I've recently been spending more of my time trying to be active in the community online. Also consuming as much LGBT media as I can.


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Please forgive the meandering commentary here...

I've gone to some pretty dark places in my time. They pale in comparison to some of the things I've seen recounted here, though.

The sort of dark that makes the Abyss seem like sunshine and lollipops.

And no amount of 'outside help' seemed to be able to do the trick.

Had to go all the way to the darkest of the dark, fully on the bottom, no further down...

...and then have the realization that NO WAY IN HECK was I going to give anyone smug satisfaction by my 'taking myself out'. Or by 'taking someone else out'.

Life is too short as it is, we don't have to help it along.

At the sake of being trite, keep on hanging on!


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Saafris wrote:
Truth

That's why I don't tell people to stay or be brave.

My Great Uncle was Jewish when his family immigrated to the USA from Germany.

I can't and won't blame people for fear. I can't and won't blame them for getting to safety when they can. Maybe their fears will be for nothing. But I understand not taking the chance when we have the history we have not only in the world but in the USA too.

Even if their lives aren't threatened (and I wish that was less likely than it is), the desire to not going back to being the target of gross discrimination (instead of the "soft" discrimination of today) is enough to understand trying to get somewhere where the poem on Lady Liberty's tablet is still true.


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In an anger-fueled post, I somehow managed to get a very ultra conservative person to start listening. Both her and her husband starting asking me questions. They live in a bubble where they never see the hate and anger. I didn't share my story, but I did come out as LGBT. I shared other stories. I suggested that they join LGBT pages on Facebook so they can see the stories that we face. They would see the murder, assault, rape, and the way the system prevents us from having homes or jobs in many states. They were shocked that 40% of homeless youth are LGBT. I told them that those kids had to often prostitute themselves just so they can have a place to stay or food for the night.

I think I got through. They sent me a friend request. I told them that it's not the right time because of all of my anger right now. I would be glad to answer whatever questions they have. I want to be the person who can change things. Right now, I'm not that person. I will be again, eventually.

We talked for a little bit more and they thanked me for a good discussion and I thanked them for extending the olive branch. Hopefully something good comes out of this.


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Thank you everyone for being so supportive. I can get very emotional and my mind immediately goes to very dark places because of my PTSD. I always get through it, but it doesn't help me be positive. It's a stupid excuse. I am working on changing that. I don't want to be someone who blames his actions on PTSD. I must be in control.

Silver Crusade

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*hugs Bob*


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Bob_Loblaw wrote:
Thank you everyone for being so supportive. I can get very emotional and my mind immediately goes to very dark places because of my PTSD. I always get through it, but it doesn't help me be positive. It's a stupid excuse. I am working on changing that. I don't want to be someone who blames his actions on PTSD. I must be in control.

It is not a stupid excuse. PTSD is a very nasty issue to have for even the mild cases. At least you know about it and are doing something about it. We are here for all of you. Rant away. Complain and b~!%* and moan to us. Take a break if you need to. But just do not give up. Don't give up on yourself and don't give up on the world. I am sorry that all of you are going through this. Sadly, sorry doesn't make it right. I am looking at myself and realizing what a coward I am and I am trying to think on how I can help. It is time for this straight white male to step up to the plate and do something to help. Any suggestions?


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You're doing something already. You're reaching out. You're listening. You aren't diminishing our fears and concerns. You don't realize how much that means to many of us. We aren't really looking for anything other than acceptance. We just want to exist and live in peace.


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Bob_Loblaw wrote:
You're doing something already. You're reaching out. You're listening. You aren't diminishing our fears and concerns. You don't realize how much that means to many of us. We aren't really looking for anything other than acceptance. We just want to exist and live in peace.

~tries to keep from crying in RL~ But that is not enough. I don't feel strong enough and I need to. None of you deserve this. I am trying to speak out and up for what I think is right. But sometimes it is hard. I will do my best to do more. You all deserve at least that.


Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

I'm glad you've had a chance to be a light, Bob, even when you're not at your most shiny. PTSD's a damn good excuse for things getting dark, because darkness is its stock and trade. Which is what makes it all the more wonderful that you realize that, that you're brave enough to do everything you can to live with it and show it who's really boss. Rest when you need, keep fighting when you can. And for Cindy, when/if she's ready again - the best nail polish is Sally Hansen Insta-Dri. One of the cheaper options and goes on like a dream. ;)

Sharoth wrote:
~tries to keep from crying in RL~

~already failed that Will save~

Silver Crusade

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New day, still here, and I see the call for more hugs.

*offers hugs to anyone to anyone and everyone that wants one.*


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Good morning Rysky. Glad to have you and everyone else still around.

Silver Crusade

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Same to you, and everyone else here on these threads.

*continues hugging*


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Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

*joins hugging*

Scarab Sages

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*hugs Bob*
Speaking from personal and semi-professional experience, I second that PTSD is anything but a stupid excuse. Suffering from it put so much more weight on your shoulders, especially when dealing with social and potentially threatening issues. (And to make it even worse it is a sneaky bastard that can kick in at any time without you expecting it, stupid non-related triggers, stupid...)
Take care and be safe!


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I'll take some hug action, could use one after yesterday.

::joins hug pile::


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First time posting in this forum, but as a bi poly person now is not the time to stay silent. I am have so much sympathy for those of you in the US just now. The Brexit vote was horrifying but that pales to almost insignificance compared to Trump. I'm trying to hang on to the thought that it is better to know just how big the divide is than not but the amount of work ahead before any of us will really see a difference is staggering. But every step we make is a step in the right direction.


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So far as I know, I do not suffer from PTSD from the traditional sources (combat, etc).

In a former gaming group that I am very much not affiliated with (though I had gamed with them for over 15 years), we had a new player show up and he told us straight out of the box that he suffered from PTSD, and then warned us that there were certain specific triggers he'd have a hard time with, and also some of the warning signs for us to watch for.

A person in authority in that campaign decided to *push* those limits.

The person with PTSD politely went over, asked the person to *stop*, and came back and sat down.

It took all of *my* willpower to not go over and beat the ever-living crap out of the person when they said 'Oh, he's just a pansy, he's just making that s+!% up, what a joke'.

And I'm not really a violent person.

Anyone who has PTSD has my support, as much as I can provide. Holy crap, folks see things that no person should see, that's not an excuse to treat them as less of a person.

Or to modify a saying I've heard of late (and wasn't in vogue at the time, or I would have shoved it down the a-hole's throat)

...didst thou even serve?

No offense aimed at anyone who didn't serve, this is only for the self-righteous a-holes that didn't and presume to know how tough a person is.

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