Ever wonder what certain monsters would taste like if you could eat them?
Like would giant scorpion taste like lobster if you boiled them?
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Our GM sent a giant crayfish after our party in a swamp. My cajun-modeled voodoo witch just about had a foodgasm when he saw it. We ate well that night my friend.
Dragon steak. it's a bit gamey, but otherwise a very nice cut of meat.
By the way, giant cockroach would taste a whole lot like lobster if you boiled it.
My first gaming group went through a period where we speculated on the taste of different monsters. We decided most giant bugs tasted like shrimp or lobster (because they are basically the same thing). Most reptilians tasted like alligator or snake (from Louisiana, yes, eaten both). Most mammals tasted sort of gamey but meaty. But the fun started when we speculated on things like beholders or gelatinous cubes...
After a while, when we started venturing into the sentient races, we started feeling sort of creepy about the whole thing...
In my world, everything tstes like chicken. Except Dire Chickens, they taste like mint juleps. Its good to be DM.
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If you just eat the horse parts of the centaur, you're not a cannibal.
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If you just eat the horse parts of the centaur, you're not a cannibal.
Technically, unless one actually was a centaur, one could eat any part of the centaur and not be a cannibal.
*munch, munch*
AAAARRRRRGGGHHH
Pipe down, you! This is totally not an abomination in the eyes of the gods! *munch, munch*
I don't feel as guilty eating lizardman as I do other things, because.....well,...they eat us too.
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@Aleph --> Yeah, my players never had a problem eating lizardman. One barbarian even went so far as to take the highly-recognizable skin of a locally feared lizardman chieftain and make a snazzy jacket with lizardman-skull helm to wear around and intimidate the other tribes. Anyone that challenged him was eaten, and much respect was gained.
Then a girallon killed him.
mmmm.....bushmeat.
Hmmm... if a person dies while under the effect of a Beast Shape spell, does the corpse stay in that form? And if so, would a dispel magic return it (and any pieces that have been removed) to their original form?
Just got an idea of framing someone for cannibalism....
One game we faced giant scorpions. After harvesting the venom, my gnome broke off the claws, cooked them, and served them with melted butter. As said by one of the other players (who was Chinese) "We're like the Chinese. We eat everything."
I'm certain everything is eaten and used because it's too good not to. Certainly with things like giant crayfish it's a no-brainer.
I have it on good authority that Ropers taste somewhat like swiss cheese with some earthy overtones. Or at least thats how I'd imagine it would be. Seriously though, at my table, my group has it in their heads that dwarves eat anything they slay, so i constantly have to come up with flavors on the fly (and keep them consistent).
In previous campaign my character, who was vagabond, ranger and wanderer tried to eat anything exotic that happened on our way: wyvern soup, roasted griffin, other things. As a side effect, when some of our characters replaced deities of the homebrew setting we played in and some catastrophic changes to the universe, the new deity of travel and wanderers that replaced the old good Fharlanghn also happens to be the god of cooking and exotic food.
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Heck, the halfling summoner that I'm currently playing draws a lot from the halflings as presented in Munchkin: if you can catch it, you can eat it. He was very disappointed to find out that a group of fiendish snakes were summoned, and therefore vanished after they were killed. He was in the mood for Hell-hot-snake kebabs. He did manage to keep all of the dire rats that we cleared out of some warehouse and went through various recipes with those; rat potroast, rat stew, rat sammiches, rat-pot-pie, rat-in-a-blanket, and so on. He had the Iron Liver trait & Great Fortitude.
Owlbears tend to get eaten any time we run across them, too. Tastes like turducken, but with bear!
Those proto-scorpions we faced in one of the APs ended up getting cooked, as did a giant spider and a dead monkey gifted by our winged friend in the night.
One of our guys decided to try and eat a dead harpy back in a game I ran. I told him that it tasted like boiled possum and shame.
Best character idea ever:
An adventurer who travels the globe searching for new and exotic creatures to devour. He sticks with the group of PC's cause they can help him kill said creatures since some of them can be quite vicious. (Dragons don't seem to take kindly to someone sticking a fork in them for some reason.)
Best character idea ever:
An adventurer who travels the globe searching for new and exotic creatures to devour. He sticks with the group of PC's cause they can help him kill said creatures since some of them can be quite vicious. (Dragons don't seem to take kindly to someone sticking a fork in them for some reason.)
I think you just described the love child of Bear Grylls and Man vs Food.
Grindylow calamari That sounds delicious to me.
I think you just described the love child of Bear Grylls and Man vs Food.Best character idea ever:
An adventurer who travels the globe searching for new and exotic creatures to devour. He sticks with the group of PC's cause they can help him kill said creatures since some of them can be quite vicious. (Dragons don't seem to take kindly to someone sticking a fork in them for some reason.)
I think he just described Toriko, from the manga of the same name. The guys whole goal is to travel the world, kill exotic monsters, and eat them.
I would eat a goblin I would think they would taste like catfish and squirrel mixed but less fishy.
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My last 3.5 Campaign(The 'Dwarf Campaign', as the players were all members of one Dwarf Clan, save the token Gnome...) had a scene where they killed a Dragon-Eel. They Levelled, and one guy took a few ranks in Prof-Sushi Chef...
Clever use of a bag of Holding/full of rice...
They made about 80,000 GP(Higher Level game, still, a nice chunk of change) selling Dragon Eel Unagi rolls.
If you just eat the horse parts of the centaur, you're not a cannibal.
What if you're a horse?
I once played in a game where most humanoid races held no taboos about eating any creature humanoid or not. Everyone was paranoid that if their character died the rest of the party would eat them instead of having them raised.
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The tail is the only section of the Alligator that we can eat.
It's an interesting experiment to consider what parts of monsters we could or could not eat:
Only the tails of lizard folk.
Maybe only the tendrils of a Beholder.
Etc.
My one group of players killed a dire boar, and harvested it to make pancetta and bacon.
The tail is the only section of the Alligator that we can eat.
It's an interesting experiment to consider what parts of monsters we could or could not eat:
Only the tails of lizard folk.
Maybe only the tendrils of a Beholder.
Etc.My one group of players killed a dire boar, and harvested it to make pancetta and bacon.
I think it's more a case of "want to eat" relative to the amount of time it takes to get the meat out.
One imagines that alligator/crocodile feet are as edible as, say, chicken feet if cooked down slowly for gelatin rich broth. Probably would make a nice stock for a gumbo.
Beholders have this interesting levitation ability. It might be possible to powder their brains to get a cooking agent that would make any souffle rise or even be useful for some novelty presentations. Why look! These creampuffs are so light and airy they actually float!
I think monsters need a "Taste" stat in their Bestiary statblocks.
I just know that in our evil 3.0 party my water genasi and her best pal, the gnome constantly make food out of our slain enemies. Including humanoids, although they have a strong preference toward boiling their heads and spleens in a soup together.