Scarf of Mimicry
Aura faint divination; CL 5th
Slot neck; Price 27,000 gp; Weight 1 lbs.
Description
This colorful and gaudy scarf wraps around the neck and allows the wearer to mimic an individual after watching and listening to them speak for 3 rounds even if they speak a language wearer normally don't speak.
To activate wearer must just speak after which affect last for one hour. When activated wearer can only mimic language and voice of the individual and no other language can be spoken. If 24 hours pass and scarf's mimic affect is not activated the affect is then lost and new target must be observed for 3 rounds all over again to gain the affect.
Secondary anyone wearing the scarf can gain two languages each time they gain a rank in Linguistics instead of the normal one but if the scarf is removed or lost the extra language(s) are lost until new rank(s) in Linguistics is taken even if scarf is later found or placed back around neck.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, tongues, creator must have 4 ranks in Linguistics; Cost 13,500 gp
Thank you in advance for taking the time out to critique my item.
Gloves of the Grasping Sovereign
*This is a lot of cheese for just 19,000 gp. I forsee a lot of abuse with what these gloves can do.
*Vote to Reject.
*Agreed. Reject.
*Lester Hayes' gloves!
*Reject.
*The construction shows this isnt really a wondrous item as much as it is gloves covered in sovereign glue.
*Rejected.
Cloud Catcher Cube
Wow, that's almost the exact same as my orb of mists. I'll be interested in seeing the feedback for both items side by side. ;)
Rustpicks
*Hmmmm, masterwork picks of the rust monster.
*Let's presume I'm ok with the idea. This is not the way to go about it mechanically. I think the picks, like a rust monster, should simply give any metal lock or trap the "broken" condition.
*The real problem, and the one I am struggling with, is how in the world does it make the trap easier for the PCs if it is rusted and broken? Maybe its less likely to trigger, but it sure can't be easier to disarm or pick, if it is all gunked up with rust. Which explains why the rules for the "broken" condition dont really seem to apply.
*Plus, how do you adjudicate what part of the trap is metal and how this all works? I mean, what if it is part metal but mostly magical?
*3E, and subsequently Pathfinder, went to great lengths to un-Grimtooth traps and to really make them abstract, rather than mini science puzzles. No more trying to solve the trap with real world solutions (pour in water and freeze it and bust the lock, etc). No, traps are obstacles that can't be solved by these types of solutions. If you could do that, then rogues become less valuable. This item sort of runs counter to the whole abstract design principle behind traps in 3E and Pathfinder.
*For that reason, I say REJECT.
*I have to admit, I can't fault the author too much since the spell rusting grasp seems to fit this well. Of course, the spell itself fails to take into account how it applies to locks and traps and it, too, runs counter to the design ideas that are inherent to 3E/Pathfinder. So poor design in the spell, too :)
*Failure on price/cost ratio. They're assuming an added cost for the masterwork thieves' tools apparently and that's not necessary. A few other presentation problems as well. I like the name in comparison to what the item does. Seems like 2 lbs. is a lot of weight for what really ought to be a single lockpick as opposed to an entire collection of them. I'm not sure why they're capitalizing non-game terms like Crustacean and Masterwork Thieves' Tools. And then they've failed to lowercase the spellnames (even though they obviously know enough to italicize them).
*On top of that, this is an item that essentially gives a +5 skill bonus to Disable Device. Sure, it actually lowers the DC by 5 instead (permanently, I assume) and thereby makes it easier for anyone to use Disable Device on it thereafter. I'll disagree with Clark a bit in that I'm not sure the broken condition is the mechanic you'd want to tap for this...as locks and traps are more of an on/off kind of thing than giving them broken conditions. Sure, you can break a lock, so if the item had indicated it simply reduced the Break DC by 5, that would've worked better, I think. And that would fit the theme better, too. That way, instead of a bonus to the Disable Device aspect, you're simply indicating you've made the lock weaker with the rusting element.
*I completely agree that leaving it up to GM adjudication on how much metal a lock has is a design misstep. It's never a good idea to leave things up to the GM. Wondrous items need to be tight and clear in their mechanics. And this one isn't...despite a decent core idea.
*Vote to Reject.
*I think we are saying the same thing. Rust monsters have the "rust" ability which applies the "broken" condition to metal items. That is the mechanic that logically should be applied, since that is really what these are--lockpicks of the rust monster. BUT the fact the broken condition doesnt apply, highlights that traps are more abstract than that.
*Rejected.
Lich's Heart Amulet
*No more need to go adventuring. Let the adventure come to you. And while you're at it, bring an entire undead scourge upon any town you stay at for awhile.
*Vote to Reject.
*Agreed. Reject.
*Rejected.
The Traveler's Trowel*It's just a language-granting item. For 12,000 gp.
As Yoda said. "That... is why you fail." Or maybe that was Mr Miyagi. I get those two mixed up.
Anyway, yeah. I got so hung up with "this uses deep and powerful mojo and alters the fundamental nature of your brain waves with a permanent Tongues effect that comes at a price" that I didn't notice until after I submitted that the NET MECHANICAL EFFECT was a 0-sum single-skill-point swap.
My original cost was something like 60K, based on the fact that it used tongues, at CL6, and was permanent. And I thought "That's ridiculous, no one would buy it." Its limited application occurred to me, but I did think it was edgy enough (not many Wondrous Items do something permanent that you don't need to keep the item for) that it might make it in. So I cut the cost drastically and hoped the judges wouldn't say "That's way too cheap for a permanent effect." Technically, by the rules of the effect it grants, it should have been free.
It also occurred to me after I sent it that there are no rules in the PRD to define what a "native" language is other than "common" and that's the native language everywhere in the world if we're just going by core.
So, I thought it was useful, and I thought it was something we hadn't seen before, and I thought that might be enough. Lessons learned: kill your darlings. I had some boots I chose not to submit, thinking, "they'll be sick of boots by the time they get to mine." Probably should have gone with those.
Pup Tent of Preparation
*Pup tent? Isn't that more of a modern day name? It doesn't make me think of medieval fantasy. It's also a camping item with the same routine purpose of giving spellcasters a faster means to prepare spells again. Not Superstar.
*Kudos for including lullaby, though. I'm sure making someone more susceptible to sleep would certainly aid in preparing spells faster. O_o
*Vote to Reject.
*Agreed. Reject.
*Rejected.
Mantle of Dominion
*Hmmmm. Usurping someone's spell (which requires concentration) is kind of a bold, innovative idea. I'm not that keen on allowing other classes to take over such a spell even though they're not a spellcaster themselves. In some ways, that's both a nerfing of opposing spellcasters and borrowing a class ability (one spell at a time) from another caster. And, what's to prevent a party wizard from cooperating with another member of the party who's wearing this mantle. He casts a spell requiring concentration, willing passes it to them, and then casts another spell requiring concentration? I don't know. Feels potentially broken to me.
*That said, this designer is pushing hard to do something innovative and different. It's an interesting idea. Just needs more work, I think...and more consideration of the game impact it would have. And especially at this cost. I think the item is way undercosted for what it can do.
*Weak Reject.
*Would be better if it was spellcasters-only... I don't see why a dumb fighter would get to make ANY check to take over a caster's spell.
*The +4 concentration bonus to cast your own spells is basically Combat Casting in a can, but better (not just for combat casting) and cheaper than the default "virtual feat in a magic item" cost (5,000 gp) and stacks with Combat Casting.
*Neat idea, serious problems with the execution.
*Reject.
*Rejected.
RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32, 2011 Top 16
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Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka JoelF847
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Samsaran Amulet
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 7th
Slot neck; Price 8500 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
This talisman prominently displays a piece of bone, most often a shrunken skull. The amulet focuses the wearer's connection with their past lives, granting them insights learned in previous incarnations, as well as strengthening control over future incarnations. Three times per day, the wearer can change into the form of one of their previous lives, as per alter self. Once during each transformation, as an immediate action, you can draw upon insights and knowledge from a past life, granting you a +2 competence bonus to one attack roll, save, skill check or ability check.
When a samsaran amulet is created, roll on the reincarnation table. The result is the race of a past life the wearer can change into. The wearer can use the alter self ability of the amulet to transform into one specific person of that race, which cannot be the form of a living creature. Each time the wearer reincarnates, he attunes to the form of another specific past life. Roll on the reincarnation table again; this determines the race of the new form the wearer can assume.
A character wearing a samsaran amulet at the moment of death, and is reincarnated, can roll twice on the reincarnation table, selecting which result to use. After a week, if the user has not returned to life, the talisman expends its magic, crumbles to dust, and casts reincarnate on the user.
A samsaran amulet must be created using a bone from remains that have been reincarnated, and only functions for a wearer who's own mortal remains were used during creation.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, alter self, reincarnate, creator must have been reincarnated or be a samsaran; Cost 4250 gp
Thanks, as always for taking the extra time for the feedback.
Coat of Minions
*Missing item name in the body text. What's a "circumstantial" bonus? Even if you use this item's statues to summon red clay minions, what are their game stats?
*Vote to Reject.
*Animate objects-in-a-can, that's all it does.
*And they last an hour per level, though the 6th-level spell lasts *minutes* per level. So the cost is way off.
*Reject.
*Rejected.
Glove of the Sky King
*"Created by a druid alliled to storm giants..." Really? So, no one else can craft one I guess.
*It's basically a SAK of varying abilities, many of which are SIAC effects.
*Vote to Reject.
*SAK/SIAC.
*Wind shouldn't provide a deflection bonus because wind doesn't affect incorporeal creatures, and deflection bonuses apply to incorporeal touch attacks.
*Reject.
*Rejected.
Dragon Bone Whetstone
*Interesting. Now this is the way to introduce an item that conveys special weapon properties. Rather than stacking, it temporarily replaces the property that was on the item before. I like what they did here.
*It could be worded better. And, obviously, they don't need the [b]Item Name[/i] tag, so they misinterpreted how to use the template. They could also dispense with the material component in the construction requirements.
*I don't know. If I look beyond the item (and the excitement at seeing someone successfully consider the problems inherent in stacking weapon properties), I'm just not sure if this designer is ready yet. They might deserve a shot. Or at least a visit to the Keep pile before sorting them back out.
*Weak Keep.
*This just does WAY too much and it is so cheap and scales in relation to the weapon.
*Good idea, you are right that this is the way to deal with the weapon enhancement issue, but this designer isnt ready yet.
*Reject.
*The problem here is that the "dragon's breath" is already an "X burst" type of weapon ability. So if you use this on a +3-equivalent weapon, you could turn it into a +1 flaming burst weapon (which gets bonus fire damage on a critical hit), plus it gets the dragon's breath bonus on a critical hit, so it's a doubled, stacking effect.
*Wait, whoah, it's even better because they're talking about the dragon's breath spell, which affects a 30-foot cone or a 60-foot line, every time you crit. Broken broken broken. No-brainer for someone using a crit-heavy weapon like a rapier.
*I like the idea of temporarily transforming magic weapon bonuses. I think this one does it wrong, and is too powerful.
*Reject.
*Rejected.
Okay. Done with Page 4 now.
Time for dinner.
Mantle of Dominion*Hmmmm. Usurping someone's spell (which requires concentration) is kind of a bold, innovative idea. I'm not that keen on allowing other classes to take over such a spell even though they're not a spellcaster themselves. In some ways, that's both a nerfing of opposing spellcasters and borrowing a class ability (one spell at a time) from another caster. And, what's to prevent a party wizard from cooperating with another member of the party who's wearing this mantle. He casts a spell requiring concentration, willing passes it to them, and then casts another spell requiring concentration? I don't know. Feels potentially broken to me.
*That said, this designer is pushing hard to do something innovative and different. It's an interesting idea. Just needs more work, I think...and more consideration of the game impact it would have. And especially at this cost. I think the item is way undercosted for what it can do.
*Weak Reject.
*Would be better if it was spellcasters-only... I don't see why a dumb fighter would get to make ANY check to take over a caster's spell.
Augh! I was going to make it spellcaster only, but then when I was listening to the podcast, I started to think it would limit it too much, so broadened it.
Hadn't considered the cooperative sharing concept, though.
Anyway, thanks for the feedback guys! Glad to see the general idea at least was well received. I'll try and tighten up my implementation next time around (with whatever I end up doing).
(And especial thanks to Neil, because I'm sure this has to be a pretty time consuming task locating, editing, and reposting all these comments in the first place!)
Proliferating Pocket Purse
I'm only on page four of this thread (and just looking a little bit at a time as I work on my organizations), so I apologize if others have already dealt with this and I won't see if you reply to it until who knows when...) but you've worked so hard on things around this contest, Anthony, I wanted to respond.
I'm seeing several problems with your item. I think one is, as you thought, a mojo issue. It's basically a bag of holding. End of story. It's got some more complexities, obviously, but in the end, it's a bag of holding or a handy haversack.
Speaking of complexities, I got lost in all the various turnings and whatnot. Just was too much.
I think you also had some other writing issues. Your first sentence lacks a verb, which throws me immediately. There are times to do that in writing, but I don't think the first sentence of a wondrous item is the place. I think being overly alliterative in a name can also be annoying, and I suspect that might've dinged you as well.
Also you say living creatures placed in a pocket will die after 2 minutes due to suffocation. What if it's a shrunk alchemist that can hold his breath for 17 hours? Or something wearing a magic item that provides air somehow. You'd have been better off to simply say it can hold 2 minutes worth of air or something along those lines.
Sorry for the many criticisms, but you did ask for brutality.
Eeep, go to bed, wake up and whoosh 205 posts behind :(
Ah well, here's my effort.
As said elsewhere, no idea where I goofed this time, I was working on execution and tightness this year and was aiming for simplist elegance.
Think I may have stifled the excessive mojo way too much.
(296 words - needed to describe all the actions - yeah this was a tight squeeze).
Proliferating Pocket Purse
Aura moderate conjuration; CL 9th
Slot -; Price 3,000 gp; Weight 5 lbs.
Description
A six inches square purse made of girallon fur.
The starting pocket is always open. Unlike other containers, the contents never spill when the purse is inverted.
The first and all other pockets provide access to individual pockets of nondimensional space, each sufficient to hold small desirables to a total weight of 5 pounds or 1 cubic foot in space.
If you rotate the purse one quarter turn, the current pocket seals and a new pocket opens.
You can rotate left or right one quarter turn up to three times in each direction for a total of 7 pockets.
Changing rotation direction will pass through prior pockets until you pass the first pocket to the other side's pocket set.
With the purse at the first pocket position, flipping left or right by holding one of the top corners and flipping the purse to the reverse side provides another six pockets that can be rotated to.
Finally, if the first pocket is kept empty, you can reach into the pocket to turn the purse inside out, revealing a new first pocket providing an additional thirteen pocket set.
When stowing away, the purse resets itself to the original starting pocket after 10 minutes. Patting the purse side 3 times provides an immediate orientation reset.
The purse always weighs five pounds regardless of contents.
Living creatures placed in a pocket will die after 2 minutes due to suffocation.
Damage to the pocket or placement of the pocket into other nondimensional spaces result in the same effects as for a bag of...
Okay, so for the first time, I have an item I liked enough that I may want critique on it. And, of course, this ONE year is the one were I do a 3 am. total rewrite, where I'm positive everything got messed up (including the Aura, I believe). Anyway, I'm going to ask just to try. If my item can be recovered, I'd like to know what you said to the Metallurgist's Lodestone?
And if it was bad 3 a'clock in the morning rewriting, lack of native English and missed Aura that killed it I'm officially never again submitting at that hour. If it was copyright to Allomacy of Brandon Sanderson (I sure tried to stay far, while inspired), or being a telekinesis SiaC, I guess I should have known.
Thanks in advance, to all the judges, your time is honestly appreciated. I hope I'm not wasting it now.
I seem to have lost the original write-up of this, but here's something I managed to salvage (I'm sorry if it's not exactly accurate- the name is still correct, so that helps). I'm sorry it's not the final draft, but I just don't know where that thing went (the name is a guess at what I think it was called). The name might have also been "Helpful Pocket Guide."
Handy Pocket Guide
Aura Moderate Divination; CL11th
Slot[b] none; [b]Price 13,800 gp; Weight 1 lbs.
This small, leatherbound handbook is filled with all sorts of useful information on flora, fauna, and outdoorcraft. A creature that consults the book gains a +2 competence bonus to Survival checks made to get along in the wild. The book is also a wellspring of common knowledge. As a full-round action, a creature may consult the book to find any information that could be gained from a DC 10 Knowledge check. Once per week, the book may be consulted on a specific topic or question for any information that could be gained from a DC 20 Knowledge check. The reader must still make an appropriate Knowledge check, but gains a +5 competence bonus and may make the check untrained.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Crafter must have at least 5 ranks in the Craft (calligraphy) and Survival skills, legend lore, prestidigitation; Cost 7,900
Neil, you are a machine. Thanks so much for taking the time!
As a side note I did ask Clark if they had a list of items they can not bring themselves to call "superstar" simply based on the type of item you start with, i.e. hair or sponge. I'll let you know if he gets back to me on that, but I went ahead and added outhouse and cupcake to the list. :)
I'm not sure about cupcake, that might be cool. :)
Thats fine thanks, I think I'm on page 5 or 6 , so I have the big smack upside the head still to come >.<
Argh, that first line, yeah, I managed to mangle it when doing the final cutting and pasting and didnt spot it on the preview at posting time - classic example of eyes seeing what they want to see - ah well.
As for the turning, yeah, I think thats was my eight or ninth rewording, it ws trying to conver from a start point you can turn 3 times left or right, the opening becomes a side and the side coming to the top becomes the new opening.
Then if you imagine a purse blue on one side and red on the other, that give 7 pockets with the blue side facing you during the rotations ( 1 for the starter, 3 pockets turning left from starter, 3 pockets turning right from starter)
Flipping it over so the red side is now facing you, the starter pocket is the same starter pocket, but the 3 left and 3 right are new pockets.
So thats 1 + 3 + 3 + 3 + 3 = 13
Then reaching into the starter pocket and turning it inside out is a new starter pocket with the same turning, i.e. 13 pockets again.
Gosh, it's so much easier when you have no word count restrictions. LOL
I'm fairly happy with my techie fu at last, so now all I need to do is shine some mojo which I have started practicing in my practice thread.
Anyone is welcome to come along and jolly me along and maybe have a go - I'm setting myself restrictions each month to practice different item types as well as getting mojo back to full strength.
This month it's a wondrous item less than 5k price, max caster level of 5. Done one so far - low power is a real muscle flex I am finding.
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It was my first time to enter this race. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.
Dust of Reification
Aura moderate conjuration; CL 9th
Slot -; Price 4500 gp; Weight -
Description
This blue shimmering dust, smelling faintly of lavender, is usually stored in thin walled vials. When it comes contact with a incorporeal creature it has the power to coalesce it into a near solid state. The vial, when thrown using a ranged touch attack, breaks upon successful contact showering the target in a fine layer of blue dust.
As the dust is a corporeal spell-like effect it must succeed a 50% miss chance before affecting an incorporeal creature. Once affected the creature is no longer granted the normal 50% damage reduction from corporeal magic weapons and spells that comes from the incorporeal trait for 2d4 rounds. All other abilities granted by the incorporeal trait remain unaffected.
Should an affected incorporeal creature pass through a solid surface like a wall, the dust will be removed from the creature leaving a thin blue residue on that surface. Corporeal creatures are not affected by the dust.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, plane shift; Cost 2250 gp
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I have two favorite things about this thread.
1) The designers said I had talent. Even though my item bombed, and I can understand completely why it did, THAT makes me extremely happy.
2) Reading through the items that didn't make it and finding the ones I like and snagging them. I love the Librarian's Key.
As a side note I did ask Clark if they had a list of items they can not bring themselves to call "superstar" simply based on the type of item you start with, i.e. hair or sponge. I'll let you know if he gets back to me on that, but I went ahead and added outhouse and cupcake to the list. :)
A suggestion for this: pick an iconic character - do you think they'd he happy swinging it around/wearing it/eating it? if not, it's probably not a superstar base item.
But, this isn't a hard and fast rule. I'm sure there will be exceptions, but it's probably a good early step.
I can totally see Lem eating a cupcake of paramount performance. With sprinkles, of course.
Well, might as well try the same thing as everyone else; review all the items in the "review my wondrous item" thread! As a forenote, I try to be critical, but constructive. Hope this helps you all!
Thanks for the feedback.
This is really not a PC item. It's either a villian item, or a cursed item, but either way it doesn't feel like something you want to buy or find.
I have been the GM for several Ravenloft campaigns and this is pretty much standard drawbacks for those types of campaigns lol. Sorry it bled through with the design. I will really ratchet back the drawbacks next year.
You start out strong, at least, with a neat description and a good first ability, but then you keep going and going... But, before I get too far, do remember to include the specific auras under aura, not just "varied", and bold "cost". A few paragraph breaks wouldn't hurt either, it'll help your content flow better.
This really helps, thank you. Good to see what was received well and what killed it. I have a problem with hitting the add ability button over and over. I should have just made the first ability better, explained it and developed it better, and then not even added the others.
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Dedicated Voter Season 6
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Irisated Tabard
Aura faint transmutation and enchantment; CL 12th
Slot body; Price 33,800 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
The back panel of this sky-blue tabard is embroidered with a giant iridescent iris.
Once per day, when a critical hit or sneak attack is scored on the wearer, they may allow the irisated tabard to activate as an immediate action. Upon activation, space between the wearer and attacker twists and the iris opens. A secondary dilated iris appears within 55 feet, over a creature of the wearer’s choice. The irisated tabard pulls the attack effect into its iris and expels it through the secondary iris with a translucent image of the attack. The critical hit or sneak attack is then scored on the new target.
If there is no secondary target available, this ability may not be used.
The irisated tabard confers a +10 circumstance bonus to Perception checks to avoid being surprised.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, twisted space; Cost 16,900 gp
*Hmmm. A lot of pebble and marble items this year.
*If this explosion of pebbles sticks to the ground and can't be pried loose, how does it serve as a grease effect? I'd expect them to be rolling around underfoot when people step on them. And, at its core, this is really just a grease and spike stones SIAC acting in concert.
*Vote to Reject.
*Grease in a can.
*It only sticks so that the pebbles can't be dispersed and thereby end the effect. But you are right, that doesn't work with the concept.
*Reject.
*Rejected.
*Apologies in advance. We were not kind. Like...at all...
*A ki waterfall? What kind of messed up item name is that? Seriously? It sucks. Pure and simple. Doesn't tell you a thing about it other than it's probably a monk item.
*Then we get into the meat of it and we're basically sharing class abilities regardless of the difference in level between the monk who's activating the item and anyone else he imparts his class abilities to...
*It's also poorly written in terms of explaining the mechanics as cleanly and clearly as possible. And I think it overreaches.
*Vote to Reject.
*Ki Waterfall? Is that like one of those plug in waterfalls that make that soothing trickling water sounds, with maybe a light in it or something?
*Seriously what kind of name is that?
*Waterfall? More like sprinkler. Or maybe Ki Hose--let me hose down my fellow party members with my ki abilities without regard to level or rules or good mechanics! Come, bathe in the ki cheesiness!
*Uh, no.
*Reject.
*I'm only not hitting reject because I want everyone else to read this...
*Oh, I'm reading them all, even if they end up in the reject pile before I get to them...
*Reject!
*Sharing class features is bad. Sharing them for one round is pretty much a recipe for "a one-shot kill to the foozle", which makes adventuring easy.
*Vote to Reject.
*Rejected.
I went through 20 different names over two days that googled into something else already used. Not an auspicious start. Part B was to add mojo, but the theme got lost and lo: SAK!.
I have been through this before so I waited for others to get their shot in. If you make it this far, cool if not, also cool. :) Thanks!
Rime Trap Amulet
Aura moderate conjuration and transmutation; CL 6th
Slot neck; Price 33,400 gp; Weight — lbs.
Description
Feathery, white crystals flow from the diamond center of this amulet. Each forms a unique frozen shape, trapping brief flashes of white light.
When activated the crystals grow across the wearer’s body coating him in an icy rime that slows his actions. Frost-covered tendrils of ice spread along his arms. Activating the amulet is a standard action that lasts six rounds. It can be activated once per day, and when not active the user gains resist cold 10.
While active the wearer may strike opponents with the icy tendrils to spread the rime-coat. Frost-ferns flow across an opponent’s body if the wearer succeeds on a touch attack. These opponents and the wearer move at half normal speed and gain the staggered condition. An opponent’s rime-coat effect ends at the same time as the wearer’s.
The rime trap’s cold resistance reaches extreme levels under the icy coat. The feathery crystals trap cold energy, growing to stitch wounds closed. For every 3 points of cold damage that would be dealt, the wearer of the amulet heals 1 point instead, up to his maximum hit points.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, cure serious wounds, draconic reservoir, resist energy, slow; Cost 16,700 gp
This is not a real submission, just in case anyone needs that spelled out. ;)
Aura faint conjuration; CL 8th
Slot –; Price 6,000 gp; Weight 5 lbs.
Description
Once per day, by turning the crank, this strange looking device spits out a cupcake. When consumed, this cupcake removes any fatigue condition suffered by the character for 1 minute per level of the user of the contraption. When that time has elapsed, the character is exhausted.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, create food and water, lesser restoration; Cost 3,000 gp
Butler's Gloves of Silver Service
*So, it's basically just prestidigitation-in-a-pair-of-gloves. That isn't nearly innovative enough for Superstar. And the butler theme is far more annoying than cute.
*Vote to Reject.
*Because it's so difficult to actually prepare a prestidigitation cantrip.
*Reject.
*Rejected.
Lastwall Guardian's Scabbard
*I don't care for pigeon-holing this thing into Lastwall with the Watcher-Lord reference. This is also the power-gamer's item with the preservation of temporary magic enhancements on a weapon while it's sheathed. Someone doesn't want to be bothered with unused durations of weapon enhancement spells and is willing to pay 3,500 gp so they don't have any of them run out anymore. It's also make whole-in-a-scabbard.
*Vote to Reject.
*Splitting an effect's duration as you need it is a very powerful ability, worth far more than 3,500 gp. It also draws out the round-by-round bookkeeping annoyance, whereas normally you can assume most round-based durations go away after a single combat.
*You could also use several of these to hold various bane-like effects, swapping weapons as you encountered different monsters. That's cheesy.
*Reject.
*Rejected.
My first RPG Superstar entry:
Turban of the Merchant King
Aura moderate divination; CL 7th
Slot head; Price 11,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
Prized by the trade princes of Qadira, this turban is made of bright red and yellow silk with a large, multicolored opal in its center. As a standard action, a creature wearing the turban can detect treasure such as gems, artwork, jewelry, or magic items in a 60 ft. cone-shaped emanation. The wearer can maintain this effect as a standard action. The amount of information revealed depends on how long the wearer studies a particular area.
- 1st Round: Presence or absence of treasure.
- 2nd Round: Number of treasure items and the location of each. If an item is outside the wearer’s line of sight, then he discerns its direction but not its exact location.
- Each Additional Round: The wearer can attempt to evaluate the monetary value of one item in his line of sight as per the Appraise skill with a +5 competence bonus to his roll. Each round, the wearer can turn to detect treasures in a new area. The turban’s effect can penetrate barriers, but 1 foot of stone, 1 inch of common metal, a thin sheet of lead, or 3 feet of wood or dirt blocks it.
The wearer may use this ability up to 9 rounds per day. Additionally, the wearer may activate the turban as a standard action to determine the properties of one visible magic item by making a Spellcraft skill check with a +10 competence bonus. The wearer may make this check untrained. Using the turban in this way expends 3 rounds from its detection ability.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, arcane eye, detect magic, identify, creator must have 5 ranks in the Appraise skill; Cost 5,500 gp
My thoughts:
- Should have left the Qadira part out.
- "treasure" is kind of ambiguous requiring more work for the GM
- the detection ability is too complex
- SIAC-ish with the identify ability
Linnorm Raiding Drum
*So, this is just to enable swift travel for Ulfen warriors in their longships and overland marches. Meh. How often do the rules for rowing watercraft and forced marches come up in your game? Almost never. Yet, you want 22,000 gp for this item? I think I'll pass.
*Vote to Reject.
*Agreed. Reject.
*Also, agree. Reject.
*Rejected.
Mask of the Iron Facade
*Eh. Not exceptionally compelling. I don't get a huge sense of mojo from what this item is exploring. Does it make thematic sense? Yeah. Would PCs be fighting over who got to use this thing? Probably not. I mean it's a little niche in terms of spells with the [emotion] descriptor. Is this just the barbarian item so no one can screw with his rage ability?
*Vote to Reject.
*Blah. Reject.
*Rejected.
Battle Boots
*Well, we've found ourselves a ZZliteralist when it comes to following a ZZtemplate ZZguide.
*"bonous" vs. "bonus"
*Clearly, not ready for Superstar.
*Vote to Reject.
*Agreed. Reject.
*ZZzzzeject.
*Rejected.
Proliferating Pocket Purse
*Well, this one wins the most Annoying Alliteration Award.
*First sentence isn't even a statement. Includes an unnecessary material component in the construction requirements. It's a SAK of extradimensional storage spaces. Ooh, how innovative. That's never been done before (sic).
*On and on with the flipping and the pockets. C'mon.
*I'm suffering from a migraine and not in the mood for this...
*Vote to Reject.
*My head hurts. Too many pockets, too many dimensions. Not enough value. The core idea "a bag of many bags" has been done to death.
*Vote to Reject.
*Rejected.
Dust of the Shaitan
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 9th
Slot -; Price 5600 gp; Weight -
Description
This dust resembles powder-fine sand and is often found in small sun-bleached leather pouches.
A handful flung into the air billows forth creating a shimmering, stationary, ground-hugging cloud no more than ten 10-foot cubes in area. This cloud changes the very nature of the air within, making it dense and viscous like heavy silt or mud.
Within the cloud creatures with the air subtype must make a DC 18 Fortitude save or be stunned for 1d6 rounds. Also flying or levitating creatures and objects are grounded harmlessly. Movement speeds reduce to 5 feet, though creatures with burrow speeds may move at that rate. In all other respects creatures gain the entangled condition. Mundane projectiles fired into or within the cloud act as flying objects noted above.
The cloud's shape is decided at dispersal and cannot exceed sight range. It affects neither breathing nor visibility. Wind, fog and other cloud effects do not operate within or upon it, except to limit duration. It remains for one hour in still air or mild breezes and 15 minutes in moderate winds. It even holds together against strong winds such as a gust of wind up through the strongest of sandstorms for 5 rounds. Any portion of the cloud in or atop a substantial body of water fails to form. This cloud has no effect upon freedom of movement spells or effects.
Alternately, a handful of this dust poured into a quantity of water (maximum volume as the cloud above) transforms that water to quicksand.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, control winds, transmute rock to mud; Cost 2800 gp
Coins of Callidity
*Well, it's an interesting theme and a grab bag of abilities, but it mostly hangs together. Something like silversheen would be overshadowed by just one of these coins. But you get all three capable of doing different things to different creatures susceptible to them. For now, I'll say...
*...Weak Keep.
*Can I put 3 coins on 3 weapons?
*Why humanoid aberrations? Would have been cooler if it was just "aberrations".
*Actually, I think the second power is more interesting than the first. The first becomes mostly unimportant once magic weapons are widespread, and with a 13,500gp cost, they'll be in every PC's inventory by the time this item enters the game.
*Reject.
*What is it with gamers and the word "whilst"?
*Severe mechanical flaws. "adhere to and bind"? How? Just hold monster-in-a-can? And what does bronze have to do with humanoid aberrations, let alone aberrations at all? Plus these items are essentially permanent weapon changes, if the PC wants them to be. The landing on edge and flipping thing is just too much, too.
*And yes, Ryan, as I read it you could put the three each on a different metal weapon and even switch it up as you wanted.
*Reject.
*It took me a while to realize "The cold iron and silver coins bestow their special qualities" means "they treat the item as if it were of that special material. I was thinking these would add flaming, keen, whatever.
*Issues: This is three items, not one item. The price assumes a set of three, but there's no reason why you couldn't or wouldn't find these separately. What Clark said about the flipping and edge-landing is just goofy (that's a cantrip-level effect that has nothing to do with the item's abilities, and is only relevant because the author decided to make them coins instead of gems, straps, or whatever). What Ryan said about "humanoid aberrations"... something is humanoid, or an aberration, but not both, and we don't distinguish the two-arm-two-legs-one-head aberrations from the i-am-made-of-flippers-and-tentacles aberrations.
*Focus more, work on your writing skills, try again next year! This item is salvageable.
*Weak reject.
*Rejected.
Map of tracking
*Totally botched the wondrous item template. If they had included the correct formatting, it would have carried them over word count. Clearly, this is an author who isn't ready, professiionally-speaking, for RPG Superstar.
*This is also one of those items that completely flies in the face of Sean's auto-reject advice about "the never get lost" item that makes adventuring far too easy. That tells me the author didn't do their homework on that front, either.
*It also includes boring backstory in the whole last paragraph.
*So many things wrong with this one. Why even bother going any more in-depth?
*Vote to Reject.
*Format fail. Italics description. Item prevents you from getting lost. Legendary origin.
*Reject.
*Rejected.
Whispering Earring of a Thousand Screams
*SAK. With many SIAC effects. Designed for someone who's in love with the notion of carrying around a demonic item connected to their ear.
*Vote to Reject.
*We saw a lot of items like this in the second year when people mistakenly believed we didnt know the difference between mojo and gonzo. They were quickly disabused of that notion. But not everyone apparently...
*This is gonzo.
*Reject.
*"This effect lasts for 10 hours, until the earring alerts the wearer, or until the earring receives another command." Does that mean it only lasts until the first combat after you activate it?
*Goofy "wear me for a while" activation time.
*Reject.
*Rejected.
Bellows of Higher Burning
*So, it's a specialized, fire-themed empowered metamagic rod in bellows-form that can also extend the light range and duration of normal fires? Does that include a torch? A lantern? A candle?
*Meh. Not Superstar.
*Vote to Reject.
*Neil, man I am with you. This is just a really fancy, specific metamagic rod with some special effects.
*That is NOT superstar.
*Reject.
*Rejected.
Amulet Of Mighty Spells
*So, it just raises the CL by a set amount? A +5 CL is pretty tremendous boost. Not sure 60,000 gp is enough to cover it.
*Weak Reject.
*And it's no more innovative than a +5 sword.. or a scabbard of vigor from the APG.
*"amulets maximum" should be "amulet's maximum"
*Reject.
*Rejected.
Umbral Cord
*So, this is basically a magic jar-in-a-can disguised as an incorporeal shadow, only the designer never references the rules for an incorporeal creature? This ability also seems like a bit much for just 10,500 gp.
*Vote to Reject.
*What Neil said.
*Reject.
*Rejected.
Phylactery of Urgathoa
*Really poor mechanic for calculating the Will save on this item. I also don't like that it grants the Command Undead feat with an auto-success for anything lower in Hit Dice than the anti-paladin's level. Intelligent, energy draining undead like spectres and wraiths and wights don't fall that easily under someone's sway. And no wondrous item should auto-assure it.
*Really, this item comes off more like someone's favorite idea for an item their Urgathoa-worshipping anti-paladin can use to become an uber-controller of undead. I'll pass.
*Aside from that, there's also several missteps in properly referencing game terminology in the descriptive text. It should be "standard action"..."channel negative energy"..."Hit Dice"...and "control undead."
*Vote to Reject.
*Try to spell Urgathoa correctly every time you mention her. She likes that.
*Phylacteries use the headband slot, not the wrist AND hand slots.
*Free transformation to undead, woo!
*And it's just Control Undead in a can.
*Reject.
*Rejected.
I went through 20 different names over two days that googled into something else already used. Not an auspicious start. Part B was to add mojo, but the theme got lost and lo: SAK!.
I have been through this before so I waited for others to get their shot in. If you make it this far, cool if not, also cool. :) Thanks!Rime Trap Amulet
Aura moderate conjuration and transmutation; CL 6th
Slot neck; Price 33,400 gp; Weight — lbs.
Description
Feathery, white crystals flow from the diamond center of this amulet. Each forms a unique frozen shape, trapping brief flashes of white light.When activated the crystals grow across the wearer’s body coating him in an icy rime that slows his actions. Frost-covered tendrils of ice spread along his arms. Activating the amulet is a standard action that lasts six rounds. It can be activated once per day, and when not active the user gains resist cold 10.
While active the wearer may strike opponents with the icy tendrils to spread the rime-coat. Frost-ferns flow across an opponent’s body if the wearer succeeds on a touch attack. These opponents and the wearer move at half normal speed and gain the staggered condition. An opponent’s rime-coat effect ends at the same time as the wearer’s.
The rime trap’s cold resistance reaches extreme levels under the icy coat. The feathery crystals trap cold energy, growing to stitch wounds closed. For every 3 points of cold damage that would be dealt, the wearer of the amulet heals 1 point instead, up to his maximum hit points.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, cure serious wounds, draconic reservoir, resist energy, slow; Cost 16,700 gp
<evil laughter>
You shall not escape by hiding your item here, dragon, instead of posting it over on your nine months thread!Disclaimer:
Note:
Fair is foul and foul is fair supposedly . Basically, though, does this item have any useful application in a spa?
Well, it has some possibilities as an emergency modesty measure, if surprised in a state of undress by someone who ought not to be permitted such a view, although more permanent solutions involving perpetual torture - usually in the depths of the Abyss - are preferable long-term solutions to such incidents.
Assuming for a moment that it’s more convenient to pay taxes than to circumvent the system, does this item look likely to be a tax-deductible business expense for a succubus art-dealer?
My initial instinct is to say 'no', but it's pretty. It has a diamond. Hmm. It might be possible to do something creative with 'decoration' expenses in some jurisdictions.
Is the item useful in a strawberries-and-cream-tea context?
It's highly ornamental, on which basis, probably yes.
Other Comments?
The actual cold resistance isn't very useful to a succubus, and the injury closing is of minimal utility if one is careful not to get injured in the first place, but still, it does have a diamond in it...
I seem to have been reviewing far too many unattractive pairs of gloves recently. I'm going to give this item a pass, and an Ask A RPGSupersuccubus stamp of approval (for now).
Gollum Rating:
Cloak of Inspiration
*It can double a "moral bonus"...? Clearly, they mean "morale."
*It's basically just moment of greatness-in-a-cloak. I'm not really a fan of that spell, anyway. Doubling it for any spell or ability produced by the wearer of cloak goes too far. Some morale bonuses are greater than others. And if you can double a +4 morale bonus vs. a +2, you've already doubled the value of the item, depending on which effect it modifies.
*Vote to Reject.
*Double a modifier? No.
*Reject.
*Rejected.
Girdle of the Girallon
*This one's kind of whacked. Tack on an extra pair of arms, but you can't make any extra attacks with them. So, what's the advantage? You don't have to waste actions drawing additional weapons or gear, you can hold four items at once. Oh, and it gives you a big +8 bonus on Climb checks.
*Is this Superstar? It doesn't feel Superstar.
*Good form on following the template, though. Mostly. You don't need to cite material components in the construction requirements. And you don't have to say "waist slot" for the item's Slot..."waist" will do you just fine.
*I'm not really enamored with this one. Anyone a big fan of girallon's and four armed PCs? Anyone? Buehler? No?
*Vote to Reject.
*I think this is kinda cool.
*I like that you get extra arms. It doesnt break things with more attacks, which would be jacked. But now a cleric can have a mace AND a shield AND a holy symbol AND a vial of holy water and decide which he wants to use.
*The big problem is that it is, by its own title, a monster in a can.
*Still, I like it. Weak KEEP.
*It's almost a template in a can.
*I like that they didn't allow you extra attacks with this.
*I'm not sure if the draw or stow as a swift action requires you to use the second pair of arms, or if that's just a side effect of having the belt.
*We normally don't list monster parts in the Construction section.
*However, there's already an alchemist ability that does this (vestigial limb, Ultimate Magic), so that makes this a class ability in a can (#21). And therefore...
*Reject.
*Ah, shoot. Missed the alchemist ability. The author probably did, too :)
*If that is the case, I move to REJECT. Bummer. I had such high hopes.
*Rejected.