Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager
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robot chris: everyone that got that pretend I used the words I meant to
christopher: Did you accidentally the email?
robot chris: a bit
robot chris: but it's internal, so I guess that's less bad?
christopher: Unless the editors got it. Fortunately, I think we're low on torch and pitchfork supplies right now.
jessica: Editors don't judge unless they're actually editing
jessica: well
jessica: we judge
jessica: but we do so in secret
jessica: so you need never know :-)
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Ignore that little man with the hammer. He's just there to relieve the pressure on your brain. Really.
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Ignore that little man with the hammer. He's just there to relieve the pressure on your brain. Really.
"I can fix it!"
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Lissa You know it looks easy until you have to hook the eggs into the internet.
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Lissa You know it looks easy until you have to hook the eggs into the internet.
That sounds absolutely slaadful.
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digital egging?!?!?! BRILLIANT!!!!! You are now on Slaadi Claws' nice list ... you really don't want to be on the naughty list...
21:10:04 * Daigle likes to taste his toxins.
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digital egging?!?!?! BRILLIANT!!!!! You are now on Slaadi Claws' nice list ... you really don't want to be on the naughty list...
Hmmm, you look familiar somehow... nope, I got nothing.
digital egging?!?!?! BRILLIANT!!!!! You are now on Slaadi Claws' nice list ... you really don't want to be on the naughty list...Hmmm, you look familiar somehow... nope, I got nothing.
A Slaad by any other name is just another egging opportunity.
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Robot Chris festive cosmo is a thing to behold
Christopher I can only imagine.
Cosmo You can only nightmare
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Ashley i don't think squid ink is traditionally used in a turkey brine
RobotChris: because I have a problem
RobotChris: maybe? I don't know
Christopher: That would explain the frequent walking into walls.
RobotChris: nope, I bump into things of my own accord
{opens RobotChris' BALDUR.INI file, updates Path Search Nodes from 4000 to 32000}
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Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager
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cs erik: Squeely Nord for iconic golem.
sara marie: squeely nord is a golem???
crystal: Pork Golem?
christopher: Savory Golem
sara marie: meat golem
sara marie: is that sucha thing?
christopher: Well, there's the Flesh Golem...
christopher: That's made of meat.
christopher: Magical meat.
justin: there's also a blood golem... cause that's a thing
sara marie: nope this is a meat golem
sara marie: ground beef, porkchops, chicken feet, tripe
crystal: Feast Golem, maybe? It's head could be a pig with an apple in its mouth
ashley: feast golem punishes you for your holiday overindulgence
justin: why did we not have this for thanksgiving?
ashley: because turkeys are too dumb to be golems
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sara marie: i want that so bad i can taste it
*Purr....*
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Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager
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liz: Hrm. I wonder if pork golems would deal fire damage to those grappling or damaging them in melee...because their crispy fatty flesh bursts and splatters hot fat on them.
cosmo: I dunno... but I would expect them to grant any opponent with a mouth a bite attack.
cosmo: because PORK IS DELICIOUS
liz: Compelling Aura (Su): The pork golem drives creatures to distraction with its luscious, dripping, fatty flesh, crisped to a perfect golden brown. Creatures within 30 feet must make a DC 25 Will save—failure indicates that the creature must make a bite attack (even if they normally do not have this attack) against the pork golem.
cosmo: Successful attacks deal 1d4 damage to the biter from the hot, fatty juices.
cosmo: Successful attacks leave the attackers staggered for 1 round as they slowly chew and savor the delicious, delicious pork...
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Noooo, it's a treyf golem!
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Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager
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crystal: I haven't told you about the lemur gangs?
crystal: They like to steal things
crystal: And they know they out-weigh you when there's fifteen of them
crystal: No bars. Just a need for your keys. And hair.
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Lissa: Are you sure they didn't want to thelma and louise it off a cliff. If disney has taught me anything, it's that lemurs jump off clifs.
Christopher: That's lemmings
Crystal: Yeah, we didn't have any lemmings. When the cops come for them, they fight to the death
RobotChris: pesky lemurs, walking the streets, leering at passers by
steelwool q-tips needed, all crazy lena dunham style
omg spoilers
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crystal: No bars. Just a need for your keys. And hair.
I need an expert opinion (as I am waaaay out of practice) ... Doodlebug Anklebiter, is the lemur on the far left a little ?
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Wes: Not freezing trumps style.
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liz: Hrm. I wonder if pork golems would deal fire damage to those grappling or damaging them in melee...because their crispy fatty flesh bursts and splatters hot fat on them.
cosmo: I dunno... but I would expect them to grant any opponent with a mouth a bite attack.
cosmo: because PORK IS DELICIOUSliz: Compelling Aura (Su): The pork golem drives creatures to distraction with its luscious, dripping, fatty flesh, crisped to a perfect golden brown. Creatures within 30 feet must make a DC 25 Will save—failure indicates that the creature must make a bite attack (even if they normally do not have this attack) against the pork golem.
cosmo: Successful attacks deal 1d4 damage to the biter from the hot, fatty juices.
cosmo: Successful attacks leave the attackers staggered for 1 round as they slowly chew and savor the delicious, delicious pork...
Cerilian Dwarves should get at least additional +4 morale bonus to saving throw against this aura because of their taboo against pork, if not outright immunity.
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Noooo, it's a treyf golem!
Fear not, fair lady! *Runs offstage. Various odd noises and a few mutters ensue.* creak, creeeeaaakkk, creakk, ruummble, rummmble, . *SnowJade appears, tail first, towing a wheeled platform with a....thing....on it.* Here you are! An actual Paizonian gefiltefish golem, just for you! *Headbonk* Enjoy!
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Wes: Not freezing trumps style.
Yes.
Yes, it does.
Wes: Not freezing trumps style.Yes.
Yes, it does.
*Complacently licking a paw* But of course, you can have both.
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Noooo, it's a treyf golem!Fear not, fair lady! *Runs offstage. Various odd noises and a few mutters ensue.* creak, creeeeaaakkk, creakk, ruummble, rummmble, . *SnowJade appears, tail first, towing a wheeled platform with a....thing....on it.* Here you are! An actual Paizonian gefiltefish golem, just for you! *Headbonk* Enjoy!
I'll take your gefilte fish golem and raise you a certified kosher pork flavoured goose golem. What a wonderful world we live in.
LET THE GOLEM WARS COMMENCE!
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certified kosher pork flavoured goose golem
I'd fix that link for you, but you didn't even include the website, let alone the http:// that you need to direct it off paizo's site...
uhhhh... everyone missed the fact that it's a BACON golem?
And thus the question that resulted in a pun tax, a pun thread and being hit with a d20 of bludgeoning at least twice was answered!liz: Dire consequences are spiky and covered in bone armor.
liz: Natural armor spikes.