
Ambrosia Slaad |

Ross Byers wrote:TESTIFY!Sissyl wrote:uhhhh... everyone missed the fact that it's a BACON golem?There are many other ways to prepare delicious pork than bacon.
Now I want to trap a wizard's tower with a roasted pork tenderloin stuffed with pork sausage & bacon and then wrapped in bacon. Let the adventurer's eat it, then everyone makes a Fort save; failed saves=heart attacks, successful save=pork bliss coma for 10d6 minutes.

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Feros wrote:Now I want to trap a wizard's tower with a roasted pork tenderloin stuffed with pork sausage & bacon and then wrapped in bacon. Let the adventurer's eat it, then everyone makes a Fort save; failed saves=heart attacks, successful save=pork bliss coma for 10d6 minutes.Ross Byers wrote:TESTIFY!Sissyl wrote:uhhhh... everyone missed the fact that it's a BACON golem?There are many other ways to prepare delicious pork than bacon.
Sort of like this.

Lamontius |
4 people marked this as a favorite. |

D'aw. I realize this makes it look like I hate Christmas. I don't. I really don't ;_;
Robot Chris: I HATE EVERYTHING
D'aw. I realize this makes it look like I hate Christmas. I don't. I really don't ;_;
Robot Chris: I HATE EVERYTHING
D'aw. I realize this makes it look like I hate Christmas. I don't. I really don't ;_;
Robot Chris: I HATE EVERYTHING
D'aw. I realize this makes it look like I hate Christmas. I don't. I really don't ;_;
Robot Chris: I HATE EVERYTHING
D'aw. I realize this makes it look like I hate Christmas. I don't. I really don't ;_;
oh god the infinite loop ERROR ERROR ERROR Ḛ̠ͅR͓̰͔ͅR͕̘O̭̯̦̺̺̤͔ R̲̺̰͎̰ ̭̳͙E̘͚R̤̩̲R̩̼O͕̝R̻̼̜̫̻̘͉̭ ̭̮ E̳͖̹̹͙͉͈R̗̪̠̞̘R̝̪̦O͙͈̙͎R̙̭̤̲̣͔̤̣ͅ ̳̲̳̦̬E̞̤̱̘ͅ R̘̞͖R͙̳̭̦̣̙̲͚O͚͍͎̪̱ͅR̭̱͈̘̻̘̼̲
͖̱̠̫̪̮̲̫̺E͕͎̘̰̞ͅṚR̩ O̲̼̬̥͚̥R̘͕̼̼̤ ̩̝E͓̠̟R̤͖̪̮̺̺̲ͅR͚̫O̺̘͖̜̜Ṛ͕̜͔͚͚ ̯̺E̞̖͙̘R͕̣̥̗R̹̰͇̳̦O͚̻̝͕̹͔ͅR̝̖̣͈ ̟͉͕̟E̳̣R͈̮̱̱̗̦R̺̖͈͍̱͖ͅO͔͙̬̭̥̯̼̦R̗̱̣
͙̮̲̹͍͉͔̗E̗̫̺̝͈̲͓̭Ṛ̬͖̘̬̰R͇̘̫̣̬̲̭-̲̭̦

Bitter Thorn |

SnowJade wrote:zylphryx wrote:Oookay. Makes me glad my mtDNA places me as being from Denmark.Liz Courts wrote:Lisa: What does the fox say?ring-ding-ding-ding-dineringeding?
wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow?
hatee-hatee-hatee-ho?
joff-tchoff-tchoffo-tchoffo-tchoff?
chacha-chacha-chacha-chow?
fraka-kaka-kaka-kaka-kow?
a-hee-ahee ha-hee?
a-oo-oo-oo-ooo?
a-bayda-bump-bump-bayda?
But in the end I think it all just translates to "Norwegians are a strange people" ... land of my ancestors, land of WTF?
I've got the region triangulated through blood; Norway and Denmark on my dad's side, Latvia on my mom's.
And for those who do not know the source of the listed "sounds", prepare yourselves ... do not say you were not warned. :)
I watched it all hoping it would make sense at some point, but now I'm even more confused. Is this one of those things I don't get because I'm old?
*head scratch*

Bitter Thorn |

Liz Courts wrote:Bad pun tax, sir! *goes to adjust zylphryx's account*Noooooo!!!
I mean ...
So in late 1960's London, a young Irishman named Sean O'Donnell took a job in a bank. His boss was an annoying man who took to calling him Paddy due to his Irish heritage. To make matters worse, whenever Sean would make a mistake, his employer would slap him in the back of the head. But Sean would not be baited and over a few years he worked his way up from teller to the loan department.
On his first day as a loan officer, a frog walked into the bank, introduced himself as Gribbit Richards and asked for a loan.
A bit puzzled, never having seen a walking, talking frog before, and worried someone may have spiked his tea with some sort off hallucinogen, Sean paused and then asked if the frog had any collateral.
The frog nodded and pulled a shiny bauble from his pocket. Sean was even more perplexed.
With a bit of hesitation, Sean went to ask his boss what to do.
Upon hearing the situation, his boss replied:
** spoiler omitted **
<prepares to be taxed heavily and to see JMD031 roll a 1>
*facepalm*

Bitter Thorn |

Sara Marie wrote:Cerilian Dwarves should get at least additional +4 morale bonus to saving throw against this aura because of their taboo against pork, if not outright immunity.liz: Hrm. I wonder if pork golems would deal fire damage to those grappling or damaging them in melee...because their crispy fatty flesh bursts and splatters hot fat on them.
cosmo: I dunno... but I would expect them to grant any opponent with a mouth a bite attack.
cosmo: because PORK IS DELICIOUSliz: Compelling Aura (Su): The pork golem drives creatures to distraction with its luscious, dripping, fatty flesh, crisped to a perfect golden brown. Creatures within 30 feet must make a DC 25 Will save—failure indicates that the creature must make a bite attack (even if they normally do not have this attack) against the pork golem.
cosmo: Successful attacks deal 1d4 damage to the biter from the hot, fatty juices.
cosmo: Successful attacks leave the attackers staggered for 1 round as they slowly chew and savor the delicious, delicious pork...
not kosher?

Kajehase |

zylphryx wrote:SnowJade wrote:zylphryx wrote:Oookay. Makes me glad my mtDNA places me as being from Denmark.Liz Courts wrote:Lisa: What does the fox say?ring-ding-ding-ding-dineringeding?
wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow?
hatee-hatee-hatee-ho?
joff-tchoff-tchoffo-tchoffo-tchoff?
chacha-chacha-chacha-chow?
fraka-kaka-kaka-kaka-kow?
a-hee-ahee ha-hee?
a-oo-oo-oo-ooo?
a-bayda-bump-bump-bayda?
But in the end I think it all just translates to "Norwegians are a strange people" ... land of my ancestors, land of WTF?
I've got the region triangulated through blood; Norway and Denmark on my dad's side, Latvia on my mom's.
And for those who do not know the source of the listed "sounds", prepare yourselves ... do not say you were not warned. :)
I watched it all hoping it would make sense at some point, but now I'm even more confused. Is this one of those things I don't get because I'm old?
*head scratch*
It's by Norwegians, what do you expect?
Actually, it's from a Norwegian comedy show - if I remember correctly, they managed to get a fairly successful producer to work with them for a song, and they decided to attempt to write a song that could never become a hit for the collaboration.

Bitter Thorn |

Bitter Thorn wrote:zylphryx wrote:SnowJade wrote:zylphryx wrote:Oookay. Makes me glad my mtDNA places me as being from Denmark.Liz Courts wrote:Lisa: What does the fox say?ring-ding-ding-ding-dineringeding?
wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow?
hatee-hatee-hatee-ho?
joff-tchoff-tchoffo-tchoffo-tchoff?
chacha-chacha-chacha-chow?
fraka-kaka-kaka-kaka-kow?
a-hee-ahee ha-hee?
a-oo-oo-oo-ooo?
a-bayda-bump-bump-bayda?
But in the end I think it all just translates to "Norwegians are a strange people" ... land of my ancestors, land of WTF?
I've got the region triangulated through blood; Norway and Denmark on my dad's side, Latvia on my mom's.
And for those who do not know the source of the listed "sounds", prepare yourselves ... do not say you were not warned. :)
I watched it all hoping it would make sense at some point, but now I'm even more confused. Is this one of those things I don't get because I'm old?
*head scratch*
It's by Norwegians, what do you expect?
Actually, it's from a Norwegian comedy show - if I remember correctly, they managed to get a fairly successful producer to work with them for a song, and they decided to attempt to write a song that could never become a hit for the collaboration.
OK
So it's meant to be nonsense, and I'm not missing anything, right?
OK

Drejk |

Drejk wrote:not kosher?Sara Marie wrote:Cerilian Dwarves should get at least additional +4 morale bonus to saving throw against this aura because of their taboo against pork, if not outright immunity.liz: Hrm. I wonder if pork golems would deal fire damage to those grappling or damaging them in melee...because their crispy fatty flesh bursts and splatters hot fat on them.
cosmo: I dunno... but I would expect them to grant any opponent with a mouth a bite attack.
cosmo: because PORK IS DELICIOUSliz: Compelling Aura (Su): The pork golem drives creatures to distraction with its luscious, dripping, fatty flesh, crisped to a perfect golden brown. Creatures within 30 feet must make a DC 25 Will save—failure indicates that the creature must make a bite attack (even if they normally do not have this attack) against the pork golem.
cosmo: Successful attacks deal 1d4 damage to the biter from the hot, fatty juices.
cosmo: Successful attacks leave the attackers staggered for 1 round as they slowly chew and savor the delicious, delicious pork...

Bitter Thorn |

Bitter Thorn wrote:** spoiler omitted **Drejk wrote:not kosher?Sara Marie wrote:Cerilian Dwarves should get at least additional +4 morale bonus to saving throw against this aura because of their taboo against pork, if not outright immunity.liz: Hrm. I wonder if pork golems would deal fire damage to those grappling or damaging them in melee...because their crispy fatty flesh bursts and splatters hot fat on them.
cosmo: I dunno... but I would expect them to grant any opponent with a mouth a bite attack.
cosmo: because PORK IS DELICIOUSliz: Compelling Aura (Su): The pork golem drives creatures to distraction with its luscious, dripping, fatty flesh, crisped to a perfect golden brown. Creatures within 30 feet must make a DC 25 Will save—failure indicates that the creature must make a bite attack (even if they normally do not have this attack) against the pork golem.
cosmo: Successful attacks deal 1d4 damage to the biter from the hot, fatty juices.
cosmo: Successful attacks leave the attackers staggered for 1 round as they slowly chew and savor the delicious, delicious pork...
Cool

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Kajehase wrote:Bitter Thorn wrote:
I watched it all hoping it would make sense at some point, but now I'm even more confused. Is this one of those things I don't get because I'm old?*head scratch*
It's by Norwegians, what do you expect?
Actually, it's from a Norwegian comedy show - if I remember correctly, they managed to get a fairly successful producer to work with them for a song, and they decided to attempt to write a song that could never become a hit for the collaboration.
OK
So it's meant to be nonsense, and I'm not missing anything, right?
OK
Yep ... their other stuff is pretty freaking funny, though probably NSFW by most definitions.

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Kudaku |

Bitter Thorn wrote:Yep ... their other stuff is pretty freaking funny, though probably NSFW by most definitions.Kajehase wrote:Bitter Thorn wrote:
I watched it all hoping it would make sense at some point, but now I'm even more confused. Is this one of those things I don't get because I'm old?*head scratch*
It's by Norwegians, what do you expect?
Actually, it's from a Norwegian comedy show - if I remember correctly, they managed to get a fairly successful producer to work with them for a song, and they decided to attempt to write a song that could never become a hit for the collaboration.
OK
So it's meant to be nonsense, and I'm not missing anything, right?
OK
Indeed. It's a little sad that it's 'the fox' that got all the attention when (Warning! Slightly NSFW) 'Stonehenge' is better in pretty much every way.

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Erik Keith: trapped in a blizzard or trapped in its gizzard, unless you can teleport and therefore a wizard.
Liz Courts: But witches can be b&+@@es, and counter your fleeing for the ditches.
Erik Keith: A well timed smite can counter her blight, and keep your feet moving in your expedious flight.
Liz Courts: Such a knight to run from the Witch Queen's might—proving the power of winter's bite!
Erik Keith: Solo the witch queen is an epic feat on Golarion, who do you mistake me for, AM BARBARIAN?
Liz Courts: Better a librarian, else you'll end up as carrion, feeding the fields to make them green.
Liz Courts: For knowledge is power, better than any angry glower
From someone all muscles and in need of a shower
Erik Keith: Carrion indeed, for this rap I will cede. I want to continue with no intend to mislead. The emails are piling and baba yaga I fear, your powers are endless and your chicken hut with no peer. I'd love to continue but the emails--POOG HATE RHYMING AND NEED FIX EMAILS!

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liz: Can someone see why importer is not importing?
gary: lissa gonna poke it
christopher: With bullets?
gary: that, or sweet, cleansing fire
ashley: I'm pretty sure you cross the poking line when you start making holes in things with bullets
cosmo: “The poking line” in this case means “Skin”.
christopher: Nah, that's just poking with sufficient fervor that you're certain to garner the other party's attention.
robot chris: poking = kicking it like a jukebox until it works
christopher: Now I have the image of Lissa cosplaying The Fonze. Thanks, Robot

Bitter Thorn |

zylphryx wrote:Indeed. It's a little sad that it's 'the fox' that got all the attention when (Warning! Slightly NSFW) 'Stonehenge' is better in pretty much every way.Bitter Thorn wrote:Yep ... their other stuff is pretty freaking funny, though probably NSFW by most definitions.Kajehase wrote:Bitter Thorn wrote:
I watched it all hoping it would make sense at some point, but now I'm even more confused. Is this one of those things I don't get because I'm old?*head scratch*
It's by Norwegians, what do you expect?
Actually, it's from a Norwegian comedy show - if I remember correctly, they managed to get a fairly successful producer to work with them for a song, and they decided to attempt to write a song that could never become a hit for the collaboration.
OK
So it's meant to be nonsense, and I'm not missing anything, right?
OK
This was much less confusing to my simple mind.

Amby's Brain |

Mysterious Voice from Warehouse (Heard Through the Walls): DO YOU WANT TO BUY A CHICKEN?
ashley: do not let goblins make the coffee. they will use pickle juice.
Great, now I'm hungry for chicken and pickle juice.

Acolyte of Urizen |

Mythic JMD031 wrote:Don't make me take back that mythic power.You can try.
Listen all! This is the natural 20 of it. Fighting leads to thread-locking, and thread-locking gets to edition-warring. And that was damn near the death of us all. Look at us now! Busted up, and everyone talking about hard RAW! But we've learned, by the dust of them all... Paizotown learned. Now, when men get to fighting, it happens here! And it finishes here! Two men enter; one man leaves. {cue Tina Turner singing "Punderdome"}