Corrupt the Wish

[Charles Scholz]

Granted. Unfortunately, you accidently touch yourself and become your first victim.

I wish IU beats Michigan State Tuesday.

[lucky7]

Granted. IU beats Michigan State, but half the team dies in the process.

I wish there was something that I would be remembered for as long as there was life in the universe.

[Tordek Rumnaheim]

Granted - you have been acknowledged as the founder of SPAM emails.

I wish cable tv was free.

[lucky7]

Granted. Machines enslave us all and put us in pods, to be drained as living batteries and fed to the living once we die. On the other hand, those cables they plugged in our necks get GREAT reception.

I wish I had won the battle for my honor in the kite competition.

[FuelDrop]

Granted. you win by cheating, thereby forfeiting your honor anyway.

I wish I knew what "MUCKLE DARMED CULTISTS! 'AIR YOU NAMBLIES KEEPIN' ME WEE MEN?!?" means.

[Icyshadow]

Granted. Problem is, you forgot what it meant.

I wish I weren't a sadist.

[Tordek Rumnaheim]

Granted. Unfortunately, you are in perpetual solitary confinement in a padded cell.

I wish people would quit trying to scam money from me all of the time.

[Evil Finnish Chaos Beast]

Granted. They instead just steal it from you.

I wish I didn't have the Evil sub-type...

[FuelDrop]

Granted! you lose the evil subtype as long as you stick to the paladin's code. you gain no other benefits, and people keep trying to make you fall.

I wish that the cult of the king in yellow would return my lawn gnomes.

[lucky7]

Granted! Sadly, they deform your gnomes so that children run by your house, mothers shield their eyes, and you never interact with anyone again.

I wish I didn't have a fried chicken as a mascot.

[The Vicious Chicken of Bristol]

Granted! Your mascot is now a live chicken with a bad temper who likes to peck out your eyes. *flaps wings*

I wish the impending snowstorm would bypass Arkansas and hit Missouri instead.

[lucky7]

Granted! When they realize it's your fault they come after you when the snow melts/

[El Dios De Los Almas Perdidas]

Granted! You are now a cripple.

I wish I knew what lucky7's last wish was.

[lucky7]

Granted! The knowledge of it drives you mad.

I wish people would be nicer to me.

[El Dios De Los Almas Perdidas]

Granted! But concepts, deities, chickens, flumphs, monsters and mimes (which are not people) still give you a hard time.

I wish I wasn't sick on my days off from work.

[lucky7]

Granted! You are sick at work, and you end up destroying your hometown with smallpox.

I wish someone would post in World of Farael

[John W Johnson]

Granted...but it won't happen for another 300 years.

I wish I would be around in 300 years to see what is posted in World of Farael.

[lucky7]

Granted. Sadly, it is completely uninteresting.

I wish Pathfinder Online had been started on in 2008 so I could be playing it NOW.

[John W Johnson]

Granted. Unfortunately it became free to play within a week of it's release, and the servers shut down in 2010.

I wish Free To Play MMOs were the bees knees.

[lucky7]

Granted! Sadly, since everyone is on free-to-play MMOs, no one showers or interacts to face to face. It's half-better that way.

I wish I was an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.

[John W Johnson]

Granted, you are a member of Smurfs Hiding Illegal Electronic Language Dictations.

I wish my lucky7's Avatar was a Smurf.

[lucky7]

Granted! A very pale, eye-bleeding, and psychopathic one, but one nonetheless.

I wish I had a "status meter" so I could see other's status.

[John W Johnson]

Granted...unfortunately Other's status is always dead.

I wish everything tasted like bacon.

[lucky7]

Granted! But bacon tastes like raw sewage.

I wish for a sassy orangutan sidekick. "Everyone loves Mr. Bananas!"

[Little Skylark]

Everyone loves Mr. Bananas, more than they love you. Even Mr. Bananas.

I wish I knew why Luck7 is crying. (crying blood, but crying)

[El Dios De Los Almas Perdidas]

Granted! He asked for the "Halfling Special" and got a punch in the groin.

I wish I could shake my depression or, at least, find some dark and angry music to soothe it.

[FuelDrop]

Granted! All negative thoughts leave your head. You become happy and serene, at peace with the world. Now that all your issues are resolved and you know true enlightenment you can't help feeling that gaming (including computer gaming), reading and watching television are all focused on the negative and are rather shallow, so your idea of a good time becomes sitting on a stool in a dark room.

I wish the marine in doom 3 could tape his torch to his shotgun. poor sod.

[Nightskies]

Granted; not only does he, but it becomes the norm for action heroes everywhere. Soon, every hero has to choose between the optimized shotgun-torch build or the sub-optimal builds that don't include it.

I wish my Drizzt application gets accepted in the PbP for an upcoming Forgotten Realms game.

[lucky7]

Granted! But no one cares!

I wish I knew what or who Drizzt was.

[Schism]

Granted, but the knowledge makes you violently ill.

I wish for horses with wings.

[lucky7]

Granted! Sadly, they are all undead, and eat your face.

I wish I could get to the March game day.

[The Vicious Chicken of Bristol]

Granted! You are forced to march for 50 miles on a hot summer day with no stops or water breaks. The winner of the game gets to live.

I wish I would just get up the nerve to open recruitment for my homebrew game.

[Little Skylark]

You do, and there are many people interested. So many you can't let them all play. They start to fight over how gets to play. The fight grows and grows, things escalate and eventually you get banned for starting a war.

I wish I had not watched "The Following"

[#1FudgeCake]

Granted. The corrupted timeline creates a black-hole and you die.
I wish for my wish to not be corrupted. *Win*

[lucky7]

Granted! Sadly, those who came before you attempted the same thing, and the first person to do gets it, not you.

I wish I had better timing.

[#1FudgeCake]

Granted! The thing is, you're still Porter. No one cares!

I wish I owned Google.

[lucky7]

Granted! Sadly, they ban you for real names.

I wish there was Shark Week, every week.

[#1FudgeCake]

Granted! However, the public quickly hates the series now that the shows are rushed, and therefore it is canceled.

I wish I had the Number 1 Fudge Cake to eat.

[Captain Spalding]

Granted, but you leave it on the table and someone else eats it.

I wish I could sail the seven seas.

[Little Skylark]

You can sail the seven seas, but only in an Optimist.

I wish I had a boat.

[Captain Edward Curnow]

Granted. Sadly, your dinghy is leaky.

I wish I was the mayor of space.

[FuelDrop]

Granted! how's ruling an absolute vacuum working out for you?

I wish that world leaders would start thinking things through carefully when making decisions, but not taking so long about it that they never get anything done.

[lucky7]

Granted! Sadly, they all die in a freak case of smallpox, and the new ones are just as incompetent as now.

I wish my stomach cramp would subside.

[Viscount K]

Congratulations, your stomach cramp fades entirely when you're paralyzed from the neck down.

I wish for a delicious turkey sandwich.

[FuelDrop]

Granted! you die of food poisoning.

I wish that I'd been more inventive granting that wish.

[lucky7]

Granted! It creates a zombocalypse, and you are eaten during it!

I wish for my wildest dream to come true.

[FuelDrop]

Granted! you really didn't think that one through, did you?

I wish I knew what I'd just granted.

[Viscount K]

Your wish is granted, and your brain shuts down from the horrifying images.

I wish for a supercomputer.

[lucky7]

Granted! It's SUPERcomputer, who has a secret identity which is revealed as your supercomputer, and you're attacked by his nemesis.

I wish for superhuman intelligence.

[imimrtl]

Granted! As a result you become depressed at how stupid everyone else is resulting in you concocting a serum to bring you back to normal intelligence. Ignorance really is bliss.

I wish that this game will continue for another 2000 posts!