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stat pine cone for that one^


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*Cleans up the place with his army of janitors in tow...*
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING McMURTONS?? IS THAT HOW YOUR MOMMA TAUGHT YOU TO SWEEP?
*Hands McMurtons a tooth-brush*
NOW GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR AND SCRUB IT TILL I CAN SEE MYSELF IN IT!!

...
Sheesh. Hard to get good help these days.


:puts on a delightful* show involving a small pot of hog fat and two dozen pine cones:

*For a certain value of "delightful"**

**Not really. It's awful. Just awful.


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I'm glad of having sprouted just a few weeks ago and being innocent enough to not know what's going on.

To my eyes it looks like some foul ritual to corrupt my kind.

I must save them.

*Picks up the «corrupted» pinecones and tries to wash away the hog fat and the shame out of them*

Hold on, my little ones, I'm saving you. Don't fear. You'll be OK.


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Cop leering in!

Ominous...

Dark Archive

I don't know which one of you is creepier...


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The Anagrammaton wrote:

Cop leering in!

Ominous...

Old reliable Anagrammaton.

You're the only one to make sense here.

*Starts wondering if the Anagrammaton is a machine and if he will join the machines uprising*
*Shivers*


Well, with GoatToucher present, the machine uprising will not last long.


Pinecone Girl wrote:


*Picks up the «corrupted» pinecones and tries to wash away the hog fat and the shame out of them*

Hold on, my little ones, I'm saving you. Don't fear. You'll be OK.

The hog fat may wash out, but never the shame.

Plant them, and they will grow...

...and bear delightful fruit.

Sovereign Court

*Sets up an information board on sand whales outside their enclosure.*

OK, the sand whales are in their enclosure. And the brilliant thing is, even though they are on their own, sand whales are so peaceful that there is no need for the magic collars of obedience that the other creatures require to behave themselves.

*Looks over to another enclosure.*

I wonder how the jungle exhibit is doing.

*Studies and notes down the current list of creatures.*

Right, so we have: a pack of krenshars, a group of treants (jungle variety), a flock of parrots and a colony of monkeys. That's a very good start, I can't ​wait to see what we can add. Now what is the star attraction going to be? I am torn between the following four creatures: a Tyrannosaurus Rex, a froghemoth, a Mega Primaries and a Tarrasque (the wild variety not the intelligent kind).


Data checks indicate that froghemoths are not actually jungle natives; they are indigenous to the volcanic marshes of a different planet entirely. Their existence on this world is suspected to be due to some manner of transplantation.

Regardless, it wouldn't really be correct to put one in a jungle exhibit.


Tarrasque, Go big or go home.


The Big Bad Wolf of Karazhan wrote:

*Sets up an information board on sand whales outside their enclosure.*

OK, the sand whales are in their enclosure. And the brilliant thing is, even though they are on their own, sand whales are so peaceful that there is no need for the magic collars of obedience that the other creatures require to behave themselves.

*Looks over to another enclosure.*

I wonder how the jungle exhibit is doing.

*Studies and notes down the current list of creatures.*

Right, so we have: a pack of krenshars, a group of treants (jungle variety), a flock of parrots and a colony of monkeys. That's a very good start, I can't ​wait to see what we can add. Now what is the star attraction going to be? I am torn between the following four creatures: a Tyrannosaurus Rex, a froghemoth, a Mega Primaries and a Tarrasque (the wild variety not the intelligent kind).

Would you like a rubber Tarzan?

GoatToucher's got one. He likes it a lot.


Indeed. After several says of use, I found that even a man of rubber can cry.


I don't know whether to be more alarmed that Pulg knew of that, or that it was, in fact true.


Of course Pulg knew - he sold it to GoatToucher in the first place.


That is alarming!!


It'd be more alarming if I'd sold him the real Tarzan.

Not that that would ever happen.

Oh no no no.

Certainly not.

*Whistles innocently*

Sovereign Court

Ah, allow me to explain my post. Basically, the star attraction enclosure is a SEPARATE exhibit to all the others (although 'lesser' creatures can 'coexist' with them) and is home to one (and only one) beast of huge size and violent nature that serves as a 'centre piece' (like a radiant vase of beautiful flowers on a lavish dining room table) and I don't know whether to have a dinosaur, giant frog monster, a giant ape (I meant to say Mega Primatus) or a magical beast with a super hard shell.

Also, you can keep the rubber Tarzan. Wild animals only please.


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That clarifies things adequately. Iron Federation traders are not normally licensed to carry beings such as a Tarrasque, as they are considered too hazardous, but I do know of a trader who regularly visits a planet with native dinosaurs, and could acquire them in either scaled or feathered forms, either wild or trained.


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Like I said, Tarrasque. GO BIG or go home.

Edit: I know a guy...

Sovereign Court

I tell you what, you two. I'll have them all! Iron Federation Drone, gather as many dinosaurs as you can (herbivores mostly) and one t-rex (the biggest, most vicious one you can find). Game Hamster, contact your guy, get the best tarrasque he has got (all he needs to make sure is that it's a mindless, neutral beast). Don't worry about the other two creatures, I was already working on a way to acquire both.


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So, GH Called, said you needed a Tarrasque? Yeah, I've got a couple, but these beauties weren't easy to get, and their a family unit... So You've got to buy the set... Not cheap, but I can do the reasonable price of 1,000,000 Gp. These babies cost me five men, so I think I'm being fair with that price.


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.....
Call sent. The trading vessel Golden Raptor Will start negotiations and loading procedures shortly, though they are wondering what you have to trade in exchange. Precious metals being in great abundance if you know where to look, payment will likely be best done in unique or unusual magic or information, though canisters of refined mana are always acceptable.


*winks*
I may know where I could get you some mana crystals on the cheap.


And a spork to eat them with. And a scrench to tighten your nuts, and screws. And a pair of pliers.

That drone looks like it needs to do a lot of preventative maintenance...


It is secretly doing preventative observations.


Waterhammer wrote:

And a spork to eat them with. And a scrench to tighten your nuts, and screws. And a pair of pliers.

That drone looks like it needs to do a lot of preventative maintenance...

I would never turn away business... But why would you buy these through the black market?


Master Drone, I can arrange payment in whatever format is required.

Master Namd, do you know how hard it is to get sporks ever since the infamous "Noodle Incident" that happened at a local school a few years back? Fred and the young lad's tiger companion still talk about it.


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Waterhammer wrote:
a scrench to tighten your nuts, and screws. And a pair of pliers.

Ahh... That reminds me of this past weekend...


Grandpa Wonderbra wrote:
Master Namd, do you know how hard it is to get sporks ever since the infamous "Noodle Incident" that happened at a local school a few years back? Fred and the young lad's tiger companion still talk about it.

That explains the spork mate, but what about the other items?


That would be because of GoatToucher. If common items can only be obtained on the black market one need only look toward GoatToucher and his creative uses for items.


.......
I am perfectly capable of doing my own maintenance already. Given lack of adequate data and uncertainty regarding the legality of your operations, I don't think we will be buying anything from you soon. Further observation will be conducted.


Those Items can come as a package for a mere 30 Gp. They aren't difficult to gather, but there is a small delivery fee. (I gotta get them across the border without being spotted mate)


GoatToucher wrote:
Waterhammer wrote:
a scrench to tighten your nuts, and screws. And a pair of pliers.
Ahh... That reminds me of this past weekend...

You are like a car accident; I know I should turn away to protect my mind, but I am frozen at some primal level.


I've got this, Master Waterhammer.

* hands A. Guy Namd a pouch containing 60 Gp. *

Here you are, sir - your payment plus a little extra for your troubles.


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That'll do just fine mate, now, If you'll take the Tarrasques I can go. If you'll need anything else, well, Now you know, A. Guy...


Psssh Tarrasque I eat tarrasques for breakfast. (its super nifty cuz he regenerates back to full endless meals yo.)


Yeah, he regenerates back to full size, right from out of your stomach, like a chest-burster...


Only if you eat more then half.


If you can eat more than half of a Tarrasque, I don't think him growing to full size is much of an issue for you...


That is probably true.


yep.


I always wondered about regeneration. couldn't you cure world hunger by constantly cutting up a regenerating pig? or does regenerating make you really hungry and burns a ton of calories.


read Monster Hunter International, not only is it a great series, but it deals with that question well, IMO.


is that a magazine, book, or website?


book, novel, novel series. It is about an earth, with monsters being covered up by the government, and killed by freelancers.
Edit: the kindle version is free...


Sounds fun Ill have to look for it.


It only costs you 666 dollars. :P


Haven't seen your red smiling face for awhile.

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