I'm Hiding In Your Closet
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No no no, he's telling you to put the spell on the counter - like this!
*pops up from behind crowded kitchen counter wearing a chef's apron; lights swirl around, public domain music plays*
Hiya folks! Today on "Counter Spells," we show you how to make fireball soufflé, a horrid wilting lettuce-leaf nicoise salad, and magic missile muffins!
As ever, I'll need an assistant!
Avatar of Zon-Kuthon
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*Runs on to the show unexpectedly.*
Uh, guys? Just wanted to let you know that I have recently used kytons as hosts for my xenomorphs and some of them have escaped. To make matters worse, GoatToucher has managed to force the xenomorphs to use him as a host and now some of those hybrids have also escaped.
*Runs off and the kitchen scene from Gremlins Two happens, only with hybrid xenomorphs instead and one of them is a GoatToucher hybrid.*
| Ventnor |
:walks in bearing a gruesome chest wound, seemingly unperturbed:
Jambi? Young Jambi!
:GTomorph attends dutifully:
Jambi, bring some almond butter and a particularly reluctant member of the studio audience to the "Workroom". It's time for afternoon tea!
Oh, Sirrah! How disgustingly droll!
| The Fiend Fantastic |
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I heard a rumor MoltenDragon met judge Julie.
So what was your crime, MD?
| Mysterious Sara |
You are all invited to the reading of the will of my father's paladin friend.
As for evidence that I shot him, you have none.
| Celestial Hippeh Lawyer |
It is unfortunately that Safety Bear cannot dance when he wants to, nor can he leave his friends behind. Because his friends don't dance, and if they do not dance, then they cannot be friends of mine.
The prosecution rests.
Wait, you're the prosecution and the judge?! Nine Hells, I guess I made a major boo-boo not getting Safety Bear to take the plea deal... being sentenced to Rura Penthe to mine unicorns is pretty harsh for stealing pic-a-nic baskets.
| Molten Dragon |
I heard a rumor MoltenDragon met judge Julie.
So what was your crime, MD?
My crimes are various and sundry. Most if not all,involve port-a-johns, inhumane treatment of squid folk and authentic replica forgeries of stuffed animals.
| GoatToucher |
Does the UltraSodomite enter your colon 'til it's swollen?
Does the legendary Dr. Dingle use his unit to ruin it?
Will Phil the Kraken fill the crack in?
Is it the destiny of The Mighty Manpiece to use his conker to conquer?
These questions and more will be answered in this month's GoatToucher Comics #5!
Avatar of Zon-Kuthon
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Um, Schism, you might want to look out for...
*Gets interrupted as GoatToucher's new (friend?, pet?) Jambi launches at Schism from out of nowhere and attacks relentlessly until Jambi runs off, leaving Schism badly scarred and lying on the floor completely comatose.*
Yeah, it's now mandatory to buy GoatToucher Comics or else.
*Quickly runs to the nearest shop to buy the entire collection of comics.*