Below is a chart of all wondrous magical items submitted to the judges/developers for their comments. Before each name is the list of the judges/developers (by first name) and in that column "X" indicates they have posted comments. The "ALL" column means that all comments from the judges have been posted.
Please let me know if you see any omissions or errors and I will update it on the next submission.
Thank you,
KenCould you please spoiler it? it's huuuge!
Edit: thank you, thats way more convenient.
PS: pages 3+ will have to wait until after i gave the Archetypes my pass, but I will be back.
my Origami Familiar from page 9 got left off, but thanks for doing this extra work.
RPG Superstar 2010 Top 32
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Bah, did the list a couple hours one night, then made it a better format (the newest version) on my lunch break at work. No big deal.
Well then, since it's no problem, can you link all of them? Thanks! :)
Seriously, major props for organizing all of those with the judges' comments.
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So Clark, I think I speak for all of us when saying you are most welcome to give your tuppence ha'penny on items you feel so moved to do so.
Aha! Another Brit!
Don't forget to pop by and find some new blood!
Wow 138 on the list, did not know I was that far down.
My hat is off many times to you Mr. Cole. Wondrous effort on your part effort.
Below is a chart of all wondrous magical items submitted to the judges/developers for their comments. Before each name is the list of the judges/developers (by first name) and in that column "X" indicates they have posted comments. The "ALL" column means that all comments from the judges have been posted.
Please let me know if you see any omissions or errors and I will update it on the next submission.
Thank you,
KenWONDROUS ITEMS CHART
** spoiler omitted **...
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I experimented with some item-making, and against my better judgement I come seeking feedback. Mostly auto-reject bin issues. Let the flaming commence.
Aura: weak divination {caster level should have been here}
Slot: n/a
Price: 3,500
Weight: 4 lbs
Description
The wooden or stone salt and pepper shakers are finely crafted, high-class ornaments suitable for a noble's dinner table. When used with a command word, the owner of the shakers may use the item's abilities to discern information about the individuals they dine with. The items are used to gather information on individuals in diplomatic situations without the the obvious use of spells.
When eating a meal using contents of the Salt Shaker, the user benefits as if he could Detect Evil.
When used in conjunction with the contents of the Pepper Shaker, the user will Detect Chaos, as the spell. The owner of the shakers also may use the command word to eavesdrop on the conversation of any using the shakers with their meals (radius of 10'). Lastly, if at any point poison is brought close to the shakers (5' radius), both the Salt and Pepper Shakers will proceed to fall over repeatedly, until the owner speaks the command word to deactivate the items.
Requirements: Craft Wondrous Item, Detect Chaos, Detect Evil Detect Poison, Mage Hand, Message, Cost 1,750 GP
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Wow Kenneth.T.Cole, major kudos to you for compiling all of that data, much appreciated and admired!
I may have been a bit presumptuous with my original post in this thread, and maybe a bit resentful of not making the Top 32 so...
...argh, I'll just get it over with and admit it:
:
Looking at the thing a 2nd time, I think I could have used less room describing things and that's what may have killed me, but I would like a judge or someone who actually matters in the contest to give me some advice on this thing. Anyone else, please feel free to, but since doing this type of thing is, like, what I want to do with my life, a professional opinion is desired above all else.
Right now, just reading what I had posted about four days ago... it feels like somebody else, some pompous horse's backside who thinks his crap doesn't stink, wrote that instead of me.
But unfortunately that was me, no alien mind-control device took over my fingers and made me type those nasty words. My behavior is unacceptable. I deserve for no one to have said anything about my item so far, because I completely lost sight of the big picture; I forgot that we're all in this together.
So now I am begging the Paizo messageboard community: Please give me a chance to start over! I am not as conceited as my original post asserts. I realize now that I was being childish and insecure about my rejected submission when I should have been candid and mature.
Contrary to what I wrote, I believe that the opinion of anyone who has the guts to share any personal idea in a public forum (especially this place, which has become something of a cyber-sanctuary to me), "professional" or not, is just as valuable as the opinion of any of the RPG Superstar judges or anyone else who I may have thought "matters". Implying that anyone else is less important than I am in any way is one of the more shameful things I have ever done publicly.
I sincerely apologize, and I humbly plead for any of you to forgive me for my hubris and my short-sightedness.
You all matter, you are all the Superstars of our community because you care enough to take valuable time out of your busy lives to share your imagination and brilliance with the rest of us, and that is precious and priceless.
I feel like I matter much less for ever thinking otherwise. :-(
*********************************************************************
If anyone can look past my arrogant and conceited original post, and forgive me enough to give my wondrous item submission any feedback whatsoever (good or bad, extremely harsh or just a single word of feedback, anything at all) I would be incredibly grateful.
Aura moderate divination and transmutation; CL 10th
Slot —; Price 26,600 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Rumored to be an invention of the Mordant Spire elves, this strangely colored and irregularly spiraled conch shell is unnaturally light and hard as steel. Fitted at one end with a darkwood mouthpiece decorated with esoteric astrological carvings, the conch has three small holes drilled through one side and can be played like a horn or flute, creating eerie echoing notes.
As long as it remains in a character’s immediate possession, it grants the possessor a swim speed equal to half of their total land speed (rounded down to the nearest 5-foot increment) and the ability to breathe underwater via hidden closable gill flaps that open between their ribs. If they already have a swim speed, or are granted one by a separate spell or item, possessing the conch increases it by 50%. The possessor can also speak and understand Aklo and Aquan, and gains a +2 bonus to Charisma checks and Charisma-based skill checks regarding creatures with the aquatic subtype.
Twice per day as a standard action, by speaking the command word and blowing the conch like a horn, the possessor and all allied creatures within 20 feet gain a +3 natural armor bonus and damage reduction 5/bludgeoning, as abnormal chitinous barnacle-like growths with sharp-edged protrusions cover their entire bodies. Anyone striking a creature under this effect with a non-reach melee weapon, unarmed strike, or natural weapon takes 1d6 points of slashing damage. This effect lasts for 10 minutes.
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, beast shape II, tongues; Cost 13,300 gp
I will be indebted towards anyone kind enough to do lend me any advice at all, and I pledge to return the favor for anyone who would like.
Sincerely,
e n
:-)
Wow Kenneth.T.Cole, major kudos to you for compiling all of that data, much appreciated and admired!
I may have been a bit presumptuous with my original post in this thread, and maybe a bit resentful of not making the Top 32 so...
...argh, I'll just get it over with and admit it:
:
Looking at the thing a 2nd time, I think I could have used less room describing things and that's what may have killed me, but I would like a judge or someone who actually matters in the contest to give me some advice on this thing. Anyone else, please feel free to, but since doing this type of thing is, like, what I want to do with my life, a professional opinion is desired above all else.Right now, just reading what I had posted about four days ago... it feels like somebody else, some pompous horse's backside who thinks his crap doesn't stink, wrote that instead of me.
But unfortunately that was me, no alien mind-control device took over my fingers and made me type those nasty words. My behavior is unacceptable. I deserve for no one to have said anything about my item so far, because I completely lost sight of the big picture; I forgot that we're all in this together.
So now I am begging the Paizo messageboard community: Please give me a chance to start over! I am not as conceited as my original post asserts. I realize now that I was being childish and insecure about my rejected submission when I should have been candid and mature.
Contrary to what I wrote, I believe that the opinion of anyone who has the guts to share any personal idea in a public forum (especially this place, which has become something of a cyber-sanctuary to me), "professional" or not, is just as valuable as the opinion of any of the RPG Superstar judges or anyone else who I may have thought "matters". Implying that anyone else is less important than I am in any way is one of the...
Honestly I don't remember if I read your original post, but that was certainly a great apology. No matter how badly you might have come across previously, I definitely respect you for it, and any negative impressions I might have had are long gone.
For what it's worth, I think your item was generally well written and clear. The description of the item and its effects was flavorful and interesting. A couple of things strike me as potential problems though.
I'm a little hesitant about the name. Why or how is the tide twisted?
I'm not sure about the requirements (more qualified/knowledgeable people than me can help out there). Is beast shape II enough to get you water breathing, a swim speed, a bonus to Charisma checks, and barnacle armor for you and all allies in range? It seems like a stretch.
Does the barnacle armor work underwater? It's odd to think of a wind instrument being blown underwater. (the armor itself is a really cool effect though)
The ties to Golarian may have worked against you - do Mordant Spire elves want to speak anything other than Azlanti? Why would Aklo and Aquan be conferred on the conch's owner if they invented it?
It feels a little bit like an underwater swiss army knife - it's useful in a lot of different ways, but I'm not sure how well they all derive from the concept so much as are being cobbled together into a concept, if that makes sense.
Genteel Rogues Handkerchief
*Automatic magical trap disabling? Not a good design decision.
*We also have "then" vs. "than" in the second statement. The "Trapfinding" class feature should be lowercase. Spell names should lowercase and italicized and alphabetized. Lots of little inconsistencies and presentation issues.
*...really just boils down to a set of thieves' tools (which are both masterwork and give you a +5 bonus?). Close, but no cigar.
*Why add the autodisarm?
*Just as a way to hide your lockpick set in plain sight, this item would have been a Keep.
LACE FAN OF THE VIGILANT COURTIER
*Way too open-ended on identifying important socialites and emotions.
*This is a GM fiat, plot device type of item.
*Yeah, story item.
*...it doesn't define any rules for how the encumbrance negation works.
*Does fanning take a free hand (I assume)? Is it a move action? A swift action? Or just something you say you're doing and then forget about it.
Staff Head of the Dragon Lords
*There's way too much math involved in computing what this item does. Regardless, it all boils down to a once/day extra charge bestowed to a staff...yeah, not really excited by that.
*...it can blow out all the charges in some elaborately complicated damage calculation with a DC 17 "reflex" save to avoid it. Plus a 20% chance the user nails himself with it, too. Not really a fan.
*I'm pretty sure the first ability of this item is useless, as you can already recharge a staff 1 charge per day by expending a spell of the highest level it can cast.
*I don't like the blast option, it doesn't make sense that a staff of healing could explode and hurt people.
Ruby Monocle of Mind Bending
*It's confusion in a can, except you get to choose the most harmful results, and for some reason it also tells you what feats they have so you can make them as dangerous as possible.
*Yeah. Peering into the minds of others to become aware of (only) the combat feats they possess so you can use them against them is kind of lame. That killed it for me.
*I'm not super-thrilled by the ramped-up confusion effect and the ability for the monocle-wearer to select the confused individual's target in the first place.
*To me, this is a metagame battlefield control item. And not in a fun way.
Archers' Elemental Glove
*It's interesting they're flat out replacing the normal weapon damage with energy damage only. That's certainly different than the usual flaming, frost, shock, etc. damage from the weapon properties rules.
*How does this convert additional Strength damage from a Strength bow? It turns it into energy damage? I'm not sure I favor this approach over the weapon property stuff.
*And they also used "Craft Wonderous Item"...grrrrr...
*I like this one. I think it's pretty simple to just type the damage. It's neutral in most cases, and a negative in more cases than it's a positive. The extra damage on crits swings it back to the useful.
*Not really sure how to price this accurately.
*Acid, cold, and such aren't *elements,* they're *energies.* We changed that term for 3.5 (when it became protection from energy rather than protection from elements).
*I don't see why they listed each glove type separately in the Price section. And why if they did it there they didn't also do it in the Cost section.
*You don't list a feat's type (like "metamagic") in the Req section.
*...I concur with the question about how this affects Strength damage.
*...how this would stack with a bow or arrows that already do this sort of damage. Frex, you can't normally stack flaming-type effects, but it looks like a +1 flaming arrow from this bow would do 1d8 fire from the arrow and 1d6 fire from the flaming property. Which is weird.
*Nice idea, too many questions, didn't spend enough words explaining them.
*This is basically the same as the elemental quiver from the first RPG Superstar.
Spectacles of the Second Sight
*Another Monster's-Senses-Ability-in-a-Can item. Still not a good idea, though this one went through some pretty tight mechanics to explain it.
*These are pretty goofy, and their abilities are too variable, given that you could get tons of abilities with it over and over again. It's not priced high enough to get the higher-end abilities, either.
Athame of the Master
*Weapon disguised as a wondrous item.
*...pricing/cost ratio is off.
*...I don't really want to reward a sacrificial item with a pass into the Top 32.
*No way can you swap easily fixed hp for spells. That's a fundamentally broken design.
Naturesmith Gloves
*Is this particularly more useful than marvelous pigments?
*I suppose this also lets you mend a broken item? Still, not a very Superstar idea.
*The designer also has a few grammar problems with the sentence structure in the description.
*Poor idea...mechanics shaky at best...bad presentation.
Goggles of Twisting Sight
*Meh. No one but fey and gnomes would ever truly want this thing.
*It's a bit too focused on nerfing the non-fey users.
*...it just protects against gaze attacks. Not all that exciting, really.
Duality's Left Hand
*Seems underpriced.
*Also seems like a class-feature-in-a-can.
*Granting clerics the ability to channel both positive and negative energy is a no-no. It's why they're forced to choose between the two. If they want to throw around inflict spells after choosing channel positive energy, that's an option that's open to them. But letting them bomb away with both energy types shouldn't be allowed...not in a wondrous item...
*...the lesser of these two items with the ability to channel as part of a single touch attack with your holy symbol might be bending the rules a little more acceptably.
*...this design has other flaws that pull it down anyway, including some grammar and presentation issues.
Leatherback Cloak
*SIAC and a SAK.
*Also doesn't recognize the proper formatting for spell names, etc.
*Agreed.
Threads of Discourse
*So, this is like long-distance communication via multiple users that are far apart from one another who just happen to use a dream to share information with one another? All for 2,300 gp. And you get 24 threads per spool...so that's at least 12 uses between 2 individuals. I'm fairly certain that 12 scrolls of dream would cost you more than that. And this item outstrips that spell by extending it to more than two participants...so it should cost even more.
*...the presentation in the writing isn't focused enough. It wanders in and out of a half-dozen different rules elements to apply to this unusual situation. It's not all that clear on exactly what purpose it serves...though I think I got the gist of it after a couple of re-reads.
*...There's also a sentence in there that starts off without any capitalization, so the grammar mastery and proofreading takes a hit.
*They've also included a material component in the construction requirements, which isn't necessary.
*...I'm kind of bugged by the ring slot being used for a wondrous item.
Nightmare Flask
*...Interesting flavor to this thing. But if the contents of fear trapped in the flask can't be poured out, how are you able to drink it? Wouldn't that necessitate pouring it down your throat?
*...Mostly, it's a protective device against fear, but you've got to empty it after each use. That's kind of an interesting mechanic as the basis for an item. It fills itself up with your normal fear, but later you need to drink it (or trick someone else into doing so) and live out that nightmare before the flask can be used again. So, basically, you're choosing the when and where of the fear effect...and it's a bit more potent once you do finally drink it in...as a nightmare actually inflicts damage and prevents you from recovering spells for an entire day.
*...I'm not all that keen on destruction of the flask sending a nightmare back to the one who filled it. But, thematically, it kind of holds up. The device itself is the "sender" of the nightmare if the fear gets inadvertantly released. I actually think it might be cooler if you could pour this stuff out and visit nightmares on people. That way, you could make them wear it during an interrogation...fill the bottle up with their fear...and then plague their dreams with a nightmare before starting the whole process over again. Would make for a better torture device in addition to a protective item.
*...I'll also note the designer really followed the provided template well...and they got all their Golarion lore right. So, they've got an eye for detail.
*...I think their pricing might be off a bit for what this thing can do. I'd have liked to see nightmare in the construction requirements and factored in as a secondary effect on top of the remove fear ability.
*...I kind of like the mojo on this one...vote to Keep.
*...Keep, but this is really a DM item, not a Player item.
*...The base DC should be 17 (as for a nightmare spell), not 15.
*...I think it's a little too cheap for an item that automatically overcomes all fear effects, no matter how powerful ("Up yours, Tiamat!"), and has unlimited uses.
*...I like it, but some pretty serious flaws...Weak reject.
*...Hardness 1 and 2 hp? Why even bother giving it hp or hardness?
*...Ditto the concerns on mechanics. If the designer had shown the same attention to detail in this regard as s/he did with the world flavor elements, I think this'd be a sure contender, but as it is now, I consider it a weak reject.
Mask of Dou-Bral
*...Plot device. SIAC. Rejected.
*...Good lord! What a shopper's list of SAK benefits...for only 85,000 gp. Really? A +8 armor bonus? DR 3/adamatine? Spell resistance? What else you want to pile on this thing?
Belt of Sudden Elasticity
*...So, it's a +5 Skill-Bonus-in-a-Can for Acrobatics (which the designer forgot or didn't know to capitalize).
*...it can give you a double-boost on your reach for up to 10 rounds/day. I don't know. I'm not really bowled over by that. But I don't recall many reach-boosting items in the game. Maybe that's innovative? The designer was obviously inspired by one of the new APG spells (i.e., fluid form). I'm just not sure this is Superstar enough for Top 32. Might be worth a visit to the Keep pile though. I'm on the fence. What do the rest of you think?
*...would have preferred a flat increase to reach rather than basing it on size.
*...I would like to know how this interacts with reach weapons, if at all.
*...No idea what happens when a Colossal creature wears this.
*...Would you really spend 61k on this, or would you just get a reach weapon or the Lunge feat? Or buy a +5 weapon of your choice?
*...Agreed. Rejected.
Mask of the Demon Hound
*...I'm not really feeling this one right now. It's designed pretty tightly to its theme. It grants a unique scent ability and masking of good-aligned creatures so they can more freely track demons. But that's about it.
*...I'm not sure I'd want to pay 27,000 gp for such a thing.
*...The designer has done a good job using the template, though.
*...I'm going to say I'm a weak Reject at the moment, but I'm interested in hearing what everyone else thinks.
*...Don't let Paladins in Hell use evil or chaotic gear they loot. It sucks to go to Hell. Get over it.
*...Reject.
Paranoid Charm
*...Wow. Messed up mechanics on this one...or, perhaps more appropriately, the description of them.
*...This thing would be a mess to adjudicate in an actual game. It makes the GM's job harder.
*...I'm not sure if it makes the GM's job harder, but it certainly makes someone's. Whoever is keeping track of it all, he'll have a heck of a time.
*...Even if the mechanics were better conceived, the concept of the item is pretty meh.
*...What's an "enchantment bonus"?
*...Rejected.
Hammer of the Master Craftsman
*...Doesn't use the template correctly.
*...The ability to inflict the broken condition on anything it strikes when wielded as a weapon with no save? Does that work on magic armor and weapons, too?
*...also cuts down on the crafting time for items mundane and magical. I think it's cutting too many corners, both in design intention and in actual presentation.
*...Vote to reject.
*...I second the nomination for the same reasons. Buh bye.
Sneak Thief's Bluff
*...Wouldn't Sleight of Hand need to factor into this? That's what steals items without being noticed...not a Perform check coupled with the steal combat maneuver.
*...Not really a fan of the inherent design behind this thing. If the scarf had allowed ranged Sleight of Hand whereby a bard's versatile performance ability could substitute a Perform check, I'd have been okay with that. As is...I vote to Reject.
*...Agreed. Rejected.
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Smokesting Fire-Geyser
*...I don't see why, if this drags the user, it uses dimension door instead of telekinesis.
*...I don't really understand why you'd use this item at all. If you want to dimension door, get a cape of the mountebank for the same price. If you want to fly, a broom of flying only costs 50% more and works for hours, not just once a day.
*...There's more flavor than crunch to this one. It's written fairly well. And, you can tell the designer is striving really hard to stand out. There are a lot of "cool effects" that they've injected into this thing. But, at its core, the device is really meant as a means of moving yourself faster than you otherwise normally could...with an obscuring trail of smoke left behind...and a pillar of damaging flame at the end. It appears that pillar of flame even burns the user of the item itself. I guess maybe that's meant to be the cost of using the wasp?
*...Regardless, for 10,800 gp, there's a lot of better items most people would choose over this thing. It might make it into a book of magic items, but it would come off as a weird choice.
*...As is, I vote to Reject.
*...Agreed.
Collar of Tricks
*...Trick in a can. + No flea's.
*...It's kind of an interesting low-level item. I don't think I've seen anything that grants extra tricks to an animal before. I'm not sure I'd want to pay 2,000 gp for it though.
*...I actually searched for other reasons to maybe accept this one, because low-level items are often some of the hardest to do. But the designer didn't execute his use of the template 100%, so he or she gets no extra points for a finely polished presentation.
*...this doesn't really measure up to what we'd want to see for RPG Superstar. Vote to reject.
*...Agreed.
Marbles of Useful Distraction
*...SAK of SIAC effects.
*...Also, no such thing as a ghost sounds spell.
*...Vote to reject.
*...Agreed.
*...Another horse item. It seems a little expensive. And I think it's a little too open-ended in some ways, because the mount can make Aid Another checks with any skill check..."while being ridden." It says only for "physical ability or skill checks" and I'm left wondering what skills that might mean? For instance, a horse only has the Perception skill...so, aside from physical ability checks, that's pretty much all it can aid its rider in...as I'm guessing a horse wouldn't be smart enough to Aid Another in an untrained skill. A griffon, on the other hand, also has Acrobatics and Fly. So, can it use the Aid Another action to somehow influence its rider's skill check to leap from this saddle and grab someone? I guess I'm trying to envision the ways in which this would come into play. And, since it can assist with physical ability checks...is that only a Strength check? Does it also include Aid Another actions in combat? I'm guessing not.
*...this item seems far too expensive for what it allows the mount to do. A few extra tricks aren't really worth 15,000 gp.
*...there are some other quibbles with the template execution. The designer didn't proofread very well, as he or she misspells the item's name in the descriptive text (i.e., "Blassing").
*...It's a reasonably good idea, but the presentation of that idea doesn't come across as well as it could...or maybe as thought through as I'd like for it to be.
*...On the fence for this one. Maybe leaning as a weak Reject.
*...Concur...Reject.
My item was the "Cloak of the Choker". Unfortunatley I forgot to copy it to my computer (I wrote it straight to post from my notes). Could one of the Vaunted Paizoites please dig it out and post it with feedback, please? Much thanks!
Okay, first, I want to point out one thing. I'm really annoyed by those who "forgot" to keep a copy of their item...or "lost" it since submitting for the contest...etc. I don't mean to single you out here, Enyn. You're not the only one to post here for feedback stating something similar. But...here's where I'm going to wield the whip of chastisement (not a real wondrous item or magic weapon) for a moment.
If you want the judges, the voters, and Paizo to take you seriously with regards to a freelance writing opportunity like that represented by RPG Superstar, you need to start developing the serious habits of a freelance game designer. You should always keep a copy of your work. And you should never misplace it. And if you find yourself in that situation, and then post here for feedback on your item, you should understand that it immediately raises some pretty serious reservations to learn that you haven't applied enough attention to detail to even organize your work so you can find it again and have it on hand to reference as we give you this feedback.
Okay. I got that out of my system. I'm okay now. Really.
Unbiased feedback on its way...
Cloak of the Chokers
Aura Strong Transmutation; CL 11th
Slot Shoulders; Price 45,875 gp; Weight 1lb.
Description
This charcoal gray cloak has a disturbingly rubbery texture with tapered corners that twitch and sway even in the absence of a breeze. It is held in place by a dull pewter clasp molded in the shape of a twisted knot of tendrils.Up to three times a day the wearer may animate the cloak as a standard action, allowing it to make grapple attacks, using the wearer's CMB, against one adjacent opponent. The cloak's tapered ends eerily seek out an opponent's neck, so when grappled by the cloak the opponent cannot speak or cast spells requiring a verbal component unless they possess the Silent Spell Metamagic feat. This grapple attack does not provoke an attack of opportunity on the wearer. The wearer may not use the Pin or Tie Up actions on an opponent the cloak has grappled. The animation lasts for four rounds per activation.
The cloak also grants a +5 competence bonus to climb checks as the tapered corners slither about, seeking and using additional handholds for its wearer.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Animate Object; Cost 22,938 gp
*...This is very similar to the other grappling cloak we got in today. If this trend continues, I think we may have our overdone item of the season.
*...I like the description of this one, especially the twitching corners and rubbery texture, but the actual mechanics are clunky.
*...The primary use alone isn't enough for me to fight for this to be kept, and the addition of the final sentence makes me actively vote the other direction, as it pushes the item too far into SAK territory for my comfort.
*...I'm actually okay with the last line of text. It comes off more thematically appropriate to me than SAK. The author is trying to embody many of the aspects of a choker from the Bestiary (which threatens going into MIAC territory, but I think he or she did a good job of avoiding that). So, the bonus on Climb skill checks makes sense and I think it increases the flavor of the item.
*...I like this one better than the other grapple cloak we've seen. I think it's more well-written and a bit more thought through. I like how the grapple attacks are limited in that they can't pin or tie-up a victim. And each use is limited in that it can only last for 4 rounds, which may not be enough to go an entire combat.
*...The only quibbles I've got with it right now are some of the errors in presentation...i.e., capitalizing some words that shouldn't be, not italicizing the spell name, etc. I'd kind of prefer that the cloak attack with its own CMB rather than the wearer's so it limits the item a bit more, but at this price, I don't think it's that big a deal.
*...I'm leaning Keep on this one. Let's allow the other judges to decide.
*...Like it, would keep.
*...Not bad.
*...Would have preferred it has its own CMB, as scaling with the wearer means it's hard to price.
*...I'm not sure 45k gp is the right cost for this thing. One, using 4 rounds of grapple 3/day may as well be at will, as you'll use it in almost every fight.
*...I'm also not sure if each activation lets you attempt a grapple each round, or if it only grapples on the first round and maintains a hold on the later round (but does nothing if it fails to grapple the first round).
*...Weak reject from me.
Note: This item made the Keep folder and stuck around for awhile. Ultimately we rejected it for not being quite solid enough to overcome some of the flaws cited above in relation to the other items we kept for the Top 32 plus 4 alternates.
Stygian Seal of Blasphemy
*...Well, nerfing clerical holy symbols is an interesting ability, but I don't like that it happens automatically even when the item is in possession of its owner. There should be a item saving throw and an opportunity to substitute the owner's save instead.
*...The rest of this stuff is really just desecrate and poison SIAC effects with a lot of Asmodeus flavor wrapped around it.
*...this comes across far more as a villain item to me. I don't necessarily knock all villain items, but this particular concept (affecting holy symbols) could have been extended to all alignments...or at least two versions. I'd have rather seen at least a nod towards that.
*...Vote to Reject.
*...It's a hazard, not a wondrous item.
*...Reject.
Gauntlets of Deep Earth
*...Tight design and really followed the format and template really well.
*...it's very SIAC and SAK. Not sure this is Superstar mojo on the creativity scale.
*...Really not feeling this one. While the design seems tight, it is very SIAC and SAK, and thematically, I'm not so sure all the abilities really fit together.
*...I vote to reject, as I can't see this beating all but 31 other items.
*...What's with the 80 minutes thing?
*...This is for solo adventurers who don't have a wizard who can cast the right buffs, right? So its a WIAC more than a SIAC...
*...Rejected.
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RPG Superstar 2010 Top 32
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Stygian Seal of Blasphemy*...Well, nerfing clerical holy symbols is an interesting ability, but I don't like that it happens automatically even when the item is in possession of its owner. There should be a item saving throw and an opportunity to substitute the owner's save instead.
*...The rest of this stuff is really just desecrate and poison SIAC effects with a lot of Asmodeus flavor wrapped around it.
*...this comes across far more as a villain item to me. I don't necessarily knock all villain items, but this particular concept (affecting holy symbols) could have been extended to all alignments...or at least two versions. I'd have rather seen at least a nod towards that.
*...Vote to Reject.
*...It's a hazard, not a wondrous item.
*...Reject.
Thanks Neil! I'd gotten similar feedback from others, but it's really great to see it from the judges. Shows that the flaws really were universal.
I went for a cool idea (which I still think could work), that I felt made for a really cinematic encounter, and I think that was the wrong approach. It's really good to read this feedback. Much appreciated!
Stump Dust
*...Meh. Seems to make adventuring easier. Also, how long does the effect last? If I go off down the wrong fork in the road, when do I figure it out?
*...is the "inhaled" power too powerful? Will vote with the majority.
*...This item actually works on the same principal as a portion of the guards and wards spell (which I would have preferred to see in the construction requirements of this thing. It too doesn't indicate how long the confusion about the "wrong way" vs. "right way" lasts. So, the designer is following in suit.
*...I think, overall, the descriptive text is a little confusing on its own...or maybe just not evocative enough. I don't particularly care for the pun in the name. Ground up "dust" from a "stump" is meant to "stump" people who come across it by making them lose direction. I get it. I'm just not sure I appreciate the inside joke elements of the name that much. Still, what else were they going to call it? The dust of confounding?
*...I also think the DC of the Will save is too high. A 4th level spell like confusion should typically be a DC 16 or so. And I think that would fit better for the price range selected for this item. I don't like the different DC for inhaling it. They really should have just stopped with the "crossing the path of the dust" as the activation and left it at that.
*...I think the price might be off, as well. This item should probably cost more. But, it appears to be a one-shot item. It's priced per use. So I'm not sure. A one-shot scroll of confusion would be 700 gp. Or, more believably for me, a one-shot scroll of guards and wards would run 1,675 gp. So maybe it's more appropriate after all?
*...Regardless, I think it's over-written in some parts and too open-ended in others. For instance, if they inhale it and have a 50% chance of making the wrong choice in any decision, that's left to GM fiat as to what the "wrong" choice would be.
*...I don't know. Lots of hand-wringing with this one. At best, I'm a weak Keep. But I have a real feeling this won't make the Top 32.
*...Lots of this item's execution is left up to the GM, such as the right/wrong choice for inhaling it and whether the dust even sticks around after being applied.
*...The contestant also really butchered the template and style as exhibited in published material.
*...Vote to Reject.
*...More of a plot device than an item. If the PCs use this, I don't see a GM really deciding what the pursuing monsters do, the GM would just delay them for a while. And misdirecting effects like this are hard to do when everyone can see the map on the tabletop. I want to put this in the "encourages metagaming" category, except it's like double-reverse-metagaming... if the GM draws the map on the tabletop and this is in effect, he's going to have to draw a fake map so the PCs don't realize they're not following the right path.
*...Basically, makes too much work for the GM.
*...So does the guards and wards spell and it uses the same mechanic, though. I still think it's fair game to implement a wondrous item around it. This design just needs stronger mojo to help override the fact it'll introduce more work on the GM's part if brought into a game. I think this one comes close to doing that...as I could easily see it as a fey item...or an item designed to confuse or ward off the fey. Or maybe a group of reclusive elves. It's not just a getaway item for bandits.
*...I think there's some mojo behind the idea. Regardless, the execution just isn't there. I agree on the decision to ultimately Reject. Just not strong enough.
Ersatz Elixir
*...This item is bending the rules a bit...maybe in a good way. First, it lets you do Maximized potions...which you couldn't normally pull off without elevating the spell effect beyond what Brew Potion will allow.
*...Additionally, it's letting you create all new 4th level potions...and do so with spells of a range of personal. Are all of these things good? I'm not so sure.
*...They've really done well on their writing and presentation. The idea seems cool on the surface. I'm worried about mechanics.
*...Well as originally conceived, as a low level caster you'd brew potions. Then as you gained in power you'd make wands, and then staves. I don't think there was any concern about allowing higher level potions - the Brew Potion feat was limited to make it clear who it was intended to be used by.
*...There shouldn't be any spells in the game that if a character casts on themselves become game breakers. 3.x multiclassing means that you have to think about that for every class feature.
*...I have some issues with this item as written: "First, if poured into the empty container from a magic potion (a standard action), the elixir transforms into a maximized version of that potion. This requires a number of ounces, equal to 1 + the spell level of the source potion." What does this mean, exactly? Does "empty container from a magic potion" mean "the bottle a potion was in before you drank it"? This seems to imply that potion bottles themselves have some kind of history. Could I somehow use this to pick up a clue? Would that be a bad use?
*...How do I figure out how many ounces to use if I don't know what the previous potion was? What if I'm a non-spellcaster in a world where that information is not common knowledge (or I have a low INT or something)?
*...This is really some kind of metamagic potion, not a wondrous item in my book. Vote to Reject.
*...It's an interesting concept but bends the rules a little more than I'm comfortable with.
*...it requires a certain amount of metagame knowledge. And what if you're using it to replicate an already consumed potion that had an expensive material component? Does this negate the need for the same in the "ersatz", maximized version?
*...I think there's a spark of some interesting alchemist alternate class abilities or something here, but a wondrous item isn't the place to rewrite how potions work.
*...Don't break the 3rd-level limit for potions by using metamagic.
*...Don't break the 3rd-level limit for potions by allowing 4th-level spells.
*...Don't make a magic item that means you don't need to take the Brew Potion feat at all.
*...Rejected.
Torc of Totemic Form
*...Kind of intriguing in a couple of ways to me. One, you know those times when you find an item that just lets you polymorph into a bat (i.e., a cloak of the bat)? Or some other singular animal totem. And yet, your character doesn't especially identify with that animal, so he or she isn't really interested in using that magic item. So, you sell it and use the gold on something else. What I like about this item is that it adapts to the user. And it levies an interesting mechanic (i.e., alignment paired with highest mental attribute) to determine what your animal "avatar" will be. Flavor-wise, I think that's cool.
*...the notion of shielding the wearer against baleful polymorph by changing that spell to simply force the wearer into the animal form provided by the torc is a fairly interesting defense.
*...There are, however, two things I don't like about this item. One, the animal doesn't change if the wearer changes alignments (I think it should). And two, the item can't be used if stolen from someone. You have to kill them before you can make the power your own. I don't care for that.
*...I'm kind of on the fence with this one. What say the rest of you?
*...This designer is a fox furry. Or some other kind of furry.
*...This item is weirdly about controlling, not about change. It's about locking in an alternative animal form, and ensuring that nobody will take that control away (since PCs rarely really "die" anymore).
*...Had this item been more flexible (attunement not death required to use it, shape fixed by runtime alignment/ability score, etc), I think it would have been Superstar. As it is, it's a custom one-off answer to a person-specific peeve. Vote to Reject.
*...I'll come off the fence and say this one just doesn't have enough mojo to convince me to support it.
*...Rejected.
SERPENT TONGUE
*...Kind of interesting. Here's what I like about it: The ability to communicate two different things to two different "targets." The removal of it inflicts damage because it has to be cut off and the victim then can't talk until that damage is cured. What a pain to a spellcaster relying on verbal components.
*...Here's what I don't like about it: The definition of "two different groups" is too vague. If the author had worded it so that a single hidden message could be whispered to someone while everyon else heard something different, now THAT would be cool. I also didn't like the twice/day ability to do two bardic performances, two spells, or two magic item activations via command word.
*...I'm not all that keen on granting a "profane" bonus to skill checks. Is there a precedent for that anywhere? I thought profane bonuses were kind of reserved for special cases (and not typically on skills). And, I don't see anything particularly "profane" about a serpent's tongue, despite the throwback allusion to the serpent in the Garden of Eden.
*...Given all the dislikes, I vote to reject. There's the core of a really cool idea in there. I just think the author blew it up with a bunch of unnecessary stuff and not-fully-thought-through design.
*...This is an interesting item, but feels more like a strange magical grafting than a wondrous item. The 2/day use of two bardic performances, spells, magic item activations is too much, though, and rife with potential for abuse. The designer's failure to follow the template and use of spelled out "gold pieces" certainly don't help the item. Vote to Reject.
*...If it let you do 2 things in one full round action that would be great. If it let you communicate to the occupants of two different squares without them overhearing that would be cool. Trying to do both is trying to do too much. Space gained from cutting either ability would allow the designer to expand the words devoted to the remaining ability and make it mechanically better.
*...What does "until the damage is healed" mean? A hit point is a hit point. I don't want to track where each was lost. It would be better to do something like permanently remove the bearers ability to speak, requiring a restoration to recover.
*...Also, it will be pretty easy to recognize someone is using this. Maybe the forked tongue should be ethereal or incorporeal?
*...Vote to Reject.
Naturesmith Gloves*Is this particularly more useful than marvelous pigments?
*I suppose this also lets you mend a broken item? Still, not a very Superstar idea.
*The designer also has a few grammar problems with the sentence structure in the description.
*Poor idea...mechanics shaky at best...bad presentation.
Thank you for the feedback Neil, it is going right into the file with my item for reference next year.
Ironwood Vest
*...This is just several SIACs all tenuously tied together by a thin theme. I don't like that there's no save for transmuting weapons to wood, and the repetition of "non-artifact, metal melee weapon" really grated on me when reading through this. Vote to Reject.
*...Yeah, it's clunky. (Sadly, the no-save bit is right out of the trasmute metal to wood spell.) Vote to Reject.
*...Too many inconsistencies in the presentation on this one. Spell names referenced in the description aren't lowercase like they should be (but they got the italics right?). And the "non-artifact, metal" bit got old for me, too. And this designer ran write up to the extreme end of the word count. That's usually not a good sign.
*...I'm also not that keen on the potency of this ability. Everytime a metal weapon strikes you, it's transformed to wood for 5 rounds? That's enough for most fights to be over. Meanwhile, it also gives you a +5 natural armor bonus? This is just an uber-melee druid's dream armor. Someone is powergaming and this is what they'd like for their PC. Vote to Reject.
Compass of the Inner Circle
*...Please. What rogue in his right mind wouldn't snap this item up at any cost to be able to flank for himself with three other images...which also protect him while he sneak attacks the crap out of the BBEG? Vote to Reject.
*...Agreed. Reject.
Locket of the Last Breath
*...Phew, SAK-a-go-go, and many of these abilities are tenuously related to the breathing theme at best.
*...it doesn't specify a Hit Die minimum to use this... you could kill a rat and gain its benefits (woo, natural 20). And the natural 20 bit is weird (ancient red dragon breath? NATURAL TWENTY!!!). Vote to Reject.
*...Agreed. Mechanical nightmare. Vote to Reject.
*...Rejected.
Ok, I'll fix it. Did you post the description? Those are the ones I included.
Thanks,
Ken
Well then, since it's no problem, can you link all of them? Thanks! :)
I'm not quite sure how you do it, but if I have a chance I'll try :)
Derro Bag of Beetles
Aura moderate conjuration/transmutation; CL 9th
Slot --; Price 12,500 gp; Weight 15 lbs.Description
This grey bag adorned with a black beetle is often found buried with the previous owner.For each activation, the beetles can be used for 10 minutes until the animating magic ceases. Often those using the Derro Bag of Beetles develop a fear of insects and must make a DC 15 Will save to use it. The insects will die if exposed to natural or magical sunlight for one full round.
Once a day, as a standard action, the bag can be opened and beetles swarm over the user's body. The beetles provide protection until 15 points of damage is prevented. A few beetles can still be seen crawling around after the damage is halted and until the animating magic ceases.
Once a day, as a full round action, the owner can command the beetles to surround him and carry him through mud, sand, earth, and unworked stone with a burrow speed of 10. No tunnel is left behind. The unnerving feeling of having hundreds of beetles swarming over the user makes them difficult to control. A DC 5 Will check is needed to control the direction traveled or dismiss them. The DC increases by +2 if the user is afraid of insects and by +1 for each round. For each failed save, the beetles dig in a random direction and inflict 1d6 damage. This can cause the user to lose track of their location. He may be lost until the beetles lose their animating magic and die, leaving the user buried alive in a cramped space littered with dead beetle shells.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, soften earth and stone, summon swarm; Cost 6,250 gp
*...Lots of messed up stuff in this one. Will check? DC 5? Really? You have to save against your own fear of insects to even use it? Not fun.
*...Can also damage you if you fail to control the swarm over your body as it burrows along? Just not an item anyone would even really care to spend 12,500 gp on.
*...I also think the writing isn't structured very well. It jumps into telling us about beetles before we even learn that's what the bag can summon. Vote to Reject.
*..."Insect" isn't a game term, and it doesn't explain what a fear of insects entails re: anything other this item. Is an ankheg an insect? Would you flee one?
*...The bugs provide protection "until 15 points of damage is prevented." Melee damage? Spell damage? All damage?
*...Last paragraph refers to a "DC 5 Will check." Boo, hiss. Vote to Reject.
Jotunblood Mantle
*...Blatant template-in-a-can. Also leads with that annoying italicized descriptive text, which comes out of the Magic Item Compendium format, not the Pathfinder Core Rulebook. And, mechanically-speaking, altering a PC with a whole host of size effects when you could just cite the enlarge person spell is just treading ground that a Superstar item should know better than to repeat. Vote to Reject.
*...Does it stack with my Girdle of Giant Strength and Gauntlets of Ogre Power? Dude that would be SO AWESOME! Reject.
*...This one keeps referring to a "special size modifier" but I don't know what that is. I know what a size modifier is, so I know what that stacks with, but I don't know how this stacks. What if I wear this and have enlarge person cast on me? Reject.
Glove of Snappy Comebacks
*...So...this item lets you mark a target you've already successfully struck (in melee only?), after which, at any time within 1 minute...and as long as your opponent remains within 60 feet of you...you get an automatic hit again with the same weapon? Does that automatic attack get resolved like a normal die roll to determine if I also crit with the weapon in question?
*...Meh. Don't like auto hits. The name of the item is annoying. Weak core idea. Shaky mechanics. Decent presentation and use of the template. Vote to Reject.
*...Don't "mark" stuff. Name is dumb. Vote Reject.