I've added a few new things - only one set of roleplaying books, but the calendar and comic books might find an audience here as well. More roleplaying books to follow this month, as I figure out shipping boxes. As always, thanks for looking!
I'm selling off all of my old role playing books and such to try to make an upcoming move a bit easier. It looks like I'm starting with the oldest stuff, and will be adding more recent stuff soon.
I also have some Weta Sideshow Lord of the Rings statues for sale - check my seller page. I'm willing to negotiate on prices for those, so let me know if you are interested!
Yeah, I'm still working on passive myself - with seems and appears, I find that when I read seems, it implies an all encompassing term, including aspects beneath a visible surface, where appears is for me talking about the surface visible layer only... Hope that makes sense.
Im also looking not so much at what is technically passive, but also that hazy, gentle description, where you show a passive style to vaguely say things rather than out right say them. In novels, and flavour text it can be useful, but for items, I personally prefer clean well stated non ambiguous descriptions.
That's why on every review I include the caveat that the opinions are mine and not necessarily Paizo. The public can read, digest and take what they will from my ramblings.
The difference in meaning you describe doesn't not make sense, if that makes sense :)
I just meant to point out that both are similarly passive in style (even the verb 'resembles' which is a more dynamic alternative, falls into the same trap, in my opinion, of describing what something is like rather than saying more directly what it is - which is the problem for both seem and appear).
Gloves of the Frugal Healer 21/25
Hell-Shod Boots 21/25
Icon of Aspects 20/25
Skipping Stone 19/25
Cobra-Hood Cloak 18/25
Ghost Ship Binnacle 17/25
Quiver of Spiderkind 17/25
Goblet of the Elements 16/25
Swarm Slurper 16/25
In some ways I think this type of feedback would be far more useful for those who didn't make the top 32.
As it is, I'm not sure what this level of detailed feedback for those who were successful will ultimately achieve - it may be nice to point out general aspects of writing that can be applied to future rounds, but it also might bias voters against some designers who you've given low scores (particularly in the later rounds, when a designer's early work might be taken into account to help decide between the very top entries). I could be wrong here though, and if the top 32 welcome the feedback, then certainly carry on.
I do hope that you'll update your dictionary before you score people's spelling. It's one thing to maintain consistency across reviews, but if the people you're reviewing are consistent with a different standard (i.e., standard English instead of the particulars of the dictionary you choose), then you're doing them a disservice, and you should adapt to their standard, rather than encouraging them (via negative feedback) to adapt to a standard that they don't know and therefore can't meet.
If it were me, I would take more care as well with what I consider passive. To give one example (from Hell-shod boots) - 'seem to be' is not grammatically passive (in fact, it cannot be made passive in English), and is equivalent in structure (and very nearly in meaning) to 'appear to be' which is also not passive (and also can't be made passive). I was a bit confused by your comment that 'seem to be' would be better if replaced by 'appear to be' - they both have the same problem of saying what the item is like, rather than what it is (and are both therefore kind of weak "passive" writing, even if neither can be grammatically passive).
That's just my opinion, and in any case your effort and enthusiasm are certainly inspiring.
... the dictionary in my 2010 word processor is calling the shots.
It didn’t like pedipalps (which I am sure should be ok). But for consistency, Office 2010 ate a point.
I'm sure that everyone appreciates the tremendous amount of effort you're putting into providing feedback, but it strikes me as unfair and somewhat ridiculous to ding an entry for spelling a word correctly. Your word processor should have an 'add word to dictionary' option, which you could use if you're going to rely on that dictionary as an authority.
(This is likely a side point that it would be best not to derail this thread with, but I would also hesitate to rely on a grammar checker in a word processor to identify passives correctly - I can't think of one that actually does that job accurately - but with an appropriately large grain of salt one might occasionally serve to identify weak or awkward writing, even if for the wrong reason)
I clocked your item at 301 words. Auto-disqualifiaction!
You body formatting makes me want to challenge you to a fish slapping duel. Why do you seperate everything out so much? Take a cue from existing items.
Throwing dagger, Profession (driver), Turn, broken, wrecked, sinking, and sudden stop should not be italicized. If you want to practice on the Superstar, again look at the published materials for formatting.
The rule for wrecked already calls out the sinking condition, so you can save a few words. Why did you add a new rule to avoid a sudden stop? I think it should have been left out. By the rules if a vehicle is wrecked it comes to a sudden stop. You are adding the chance to avoid a sudden stop without entailing what the effects would be.
I liked your visuals though.
How I would rewrite:
Description
A silken hoop made from spider thread surrounds the splayed carcass of a black widow spider. The spider can separate from the hoop by grasping and tugging the spider body. The body begins to throb and its legs to twitch when separated. The spider must be attached to a vehicle for the widow wheel to function. The spider may be placed or thrown (range increment of 10 ft) as a touch attack onto a vehicle. Once on the vehicle, it scuttles into the steering mechanism in 1d4 rounds and embraces it. Once the spider is attached to the steering mechanism, the hoop warms to the touch indicating vehicle control is possible.
Turning the hoop will force the vehicle to turn. The vehicle’s driver may attempt a driving check to counter your control (DC 15 + your ranks in Profession (driver)). On a failed check, the vehicle turns under your control. If the check fails by 10 or more, the vehicle becomes broken. If already broken, it becomes wrecked. On a successful check, the driver retains control of the vehicle and for every additional 5 points the check succeeds against the DC, the driver is immune to further opposed driving...
Overall I agree that the first few sentences are am improvement over Anthony's latest (though the item has also been vastly improved in that version already!).
Just a brief comment on the bolded sentence. Be particularly careful with nonfinite verb forms (participles like grasping, tugging). In your sentence the subject of these verbs is not expressed - the problem is that the unexpressed subject of those verbs is interpreted (by default) as the main clause subject - 'the spider'.
So it reads as if the spider is grasping and tugging its own body to free itself from the hoop, and it takes some effort to recognize that the intended meaning is that the user is doing the grasping and tugging.
I would rewrite that sentence more simply as:
Grasping and tugging the spider body separates it from the hoop.
or even:
Gently tugging the spider body separates it from the hoop.
(you can't tug without grasping, so the two verbs are somewhat redundant)
Just FYI, "This barometer is used..." is also a passive sentence. 'can' is a modal verb, which, while not terribly dynamic or certain, has nothing to do with passive voice. So while removing it may help punch up a sentence, you're not technically removing the passive or making it active.
If you're using 'passive' in the non-technical sense of 'weak' or 'not exciting' then sure, removing 'can' certainly helps, but consider whether or not the active voice is a better choice for this particular sentence (it may or may not be - sometimes passive voice is the better choice).
Thanks for this! I love the artwork from 1st ed, and never had the version of Deities and Demigods with this artwork (one friend had it, and one found it for sale on the streets of NY for about $5, the lucky bastard).
Also, speaking as a copy editor, some of your writing quirks raise flags as I read this.
I suspect that what you found quirky came from me trying to avoid 'to be' verbs. I eliminated all but few to see if it could be done, but some - I just couldn't get around.
I don't mean to sidetrack things (and I haven't gone through your writing in detail), but this is exactly why I rail against writing advice that emphasizes things like "avoid passive" or "avoid to be".
The verb 'to be' is a useful verb - it exists for a reason. Sure, it shouldn't be overused, and if used poorly does contribute to a feeling that writing is weak and not very exciting (which I think is really the issue that the judges want people to avoid). But if it's used well it won't even be noticed, whereas a sentence that awkwardly tries to avoid it stands out like a sore thumb.
I'm sorry that this issue might have tripped you up, but if you want to avoid avoiding them in the future, and instead master their use, I highly recommend this book:
(avoid Strunk and White - they'll tell you to avoid passives but don't identify them correctly themselves - it's like taking medical advice from a doctor who calls morphine an antibiotic)
This was my second favorite entry. I loved the gonzo nature of the human/animal hybrids, and I love pitting high level characters against Wizards.
What ultimately decided against it for me was the perception that there would be too many similar encounters, and too much sprawl in the middle, as the PCs tackle each of the returning Wizards. I think I'd be happier if Acts 2, 4, and 6 were somehow condensed.
I'm a little torn by the science fiction aspects of it. It seemed that you were including elements of relativistic space travel (the wizards haven't aged, while several generations of their descendants have come and gone), which is interesting is a fantasy setting, but somehow doesn't fully work for me.
I do like the invasion aspect of it, and do like the Event Horizon-esque feel to it.
But, I only had one vote, and unfortunately (based in part on prior work as well), I didn't vote for you. But if you win I won't be at all disappointed - this is really a deserving entry.
Edit: I agree too that the name needs to change - the form of the name is great, but the word 'Dustpawn' makes me feel like I have a speech impediment
I was torn between this and Doom comes to Dustpawn, but I felt this adventure was a bit more doable for a module (I'll elaborate in the other thread).
I loved the old school feel of it. I'm not worried about the required changes. Based on your prior entries (particularly Eightfingers Tomb), I am confident that you'll make the changes and the final product will be just as good or better.
The death effect didn't bother me. As worded, it sounds like there is only a chance per hour that a PC would have to make a saving throw. So either the effect builds over time or it's random. It was hard to judge how long the PCs would stay in the area of the death effect, but if it's less than one hour, it seems that there is only a small possibility of character death, and the effect is reversible by Wish (not too expensive, if necessary), so I'm surprised people are reacting so strongly to it. It doesn't seem like that big a deal.
Edit: Also, I love the name - it really has a Conan feel to it.
A small number of my favorites -
Slayer
Candlemass
Behemoth
King Diamond/Mercyful Fate
Death
Suffocation
Incantation
Nile
Emperor
Darkened Nocturn Slaughercult
Immortal
Cradle of Filth
Necros Christos
Diablo Swing Orchestra
Ahab
Pseudogod
Iron Maiden
Black Sabbath
Judas Priest
Cathedral
Marduk
Autopsy
Black Pyramid
Lord Vicar
Reverend Bizarre
Asphyx
Megadeth
Overkill
Therion
Celtic Frost
And Neil's analysis of each submission is second to none. He has gone above and beyond the call of duty, spending hours and hours to help out future freelancers.
Yeah, he has really raised the feedback process to both a science and an art form* I think we're all lucky that he's willing to put in so much effort.
Wow, pretty small sample for this exit poll. Not sure you can count on its accuracy.... ;)
Of course, I know if you guys are right or not since I get to see the vote tallies but of course I cant tell you....muuuuhuuuhuhhuhuhhhahahahahaaaaaa!!!
Ah but I can guarantee you'll tell us eventually, and which is more plausible - that we finally broke you with our incessant questions and badgering, or that there was a plan already in place to announce the top four?
I think you don't have to be a supergenius to know it's the former. Bwahahaha.
Exactly what Phloid said. Including who I voted for. Didn't end up play testing any. I'm sure I will, but couldn't get to it with me gamers over the weekend. I wished for more than four votes, but I guess everybody is strong when you get to the top eight.
Steve Miller – Brike Isle
James Olchak – Mushti’s Beguiling Oddities
Tom Phillips – Eightfinger’s Tomb
Russel Vaneekhoven – Hungry Mountain Dragon
Exactly what Saint Trickery said exactly what Phloid said.
Steve Miller – Brike Isle
James Olchak – Mushti’s Beguiling Oddities
Tom Phillips – Eightfinger’s Tomb
Russel Vaneekhoven – Hungry Mountain Dragon
I was really tempted to vote for Sam based on his previous entries, but couldn't justify not voting for what I felt were better entries in this round.
I got an email that I could download a new version of the file for this product. But, I don't remember ever buying it or downloading it, and I don't see it anywhere on my assets page in my account.
I love the map, and the concept is a bit gonzo, which I like. I agree with some of the problems raised by the judges, but this seems like it would be fun to run through (particularly if a party only has limited or no access to flight).
I freakin' love the style of the map. That alone sold me on this already. It reminds me of the old maps from Iron Crown Enterprises, many of which are still favorites.
I loved the location idea. It's compelling and interesting, and begging for further investigation.
I like the map a lot, both the vertical view and the 2D floor plan. My initial impression was that the floor plan was similar to what I remember from the sample maps in the 1st edition DMG, and so maybe not as interesting in places as it could be, but it is so well done that I don't mind.
Jacob, good points there. Allow me to address most of them in my revised item below:
Alchemical Palm Aura faint transmutation; CL 4th
Slot hands; Price 4,000gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
Collections of copper loops and glass tubes, these complex mechanisms are strapped to the underside of one's wrist. Twice per day, as a standard action, a user can fill either hand's alchemical palm (or both as part of the same action) with any potion, elixir or any contact or inhaled poison held within that hand. Once so charged, the wearer can deliver the potion, elixir or poison to a willing target by touching them as a standard action, or to an unwilling one as a melee touch attack or as part of an unarmed or natural attack.
Once a potion, elixir or poison has been used to charge an alchemical palm, it cannot be recovered - though it can be emptied from the palm as a swift action.
Construction Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, touch injection; Cost 2,000gp
As to the hardness of the glass tubes bit; I deliberately left that out. It's a magic item, so if someone wants to, say, sunder it they'll have to go through the same process as, say, trying to sunder someone's necklace of fireballs.
I'm having trouble with your first sentence - the first part "Collections of copper loops and glass tubes, these complex mechanisms" makes me think of something big (partly because it's plural), like in a mad scientist's lab. The second part "are strapped to the underside of one's wrist" makes me think of something much smaller.
maybe revise to something like:
"This complex but compact collection of copper coils and glass tubes is strapped to the underside of one's wrist." (I couldn't resist the alliteration, but don't recommend it!)
I'm sad to hear this. I bought the first 26 books as a subscriber, and had been hoping to pick up the rest - I guess just 7. (I was too broke to continue my subscription at the time, and I was a bit disgruntled by all the typos).
I'm definitely interested in whatever you have planned for the future - whether ebook or print book. Hopefully more of the footballs will be caught this time - but even if any new books are only as outstanding as the old ones, I'm happy to support the line.
To be fair, I don’t think his description was unclear at all. I think the term adjacent is very explicit when looking at Pathfinder game mechanics. To try and read more into it is either trying to justify why a judge may have made a snap judgment error in the mechanics of the item or an unclear understanding of how the rules in Pathfinder work.
Actually, re-reading it now given your comment I see how it might be interpreted as intended.
Just to be clear, I was not trying to interpret it uncharitably or unfairly, and it is certainly possible that I have an unclear understanding of the rules, which contributed to me missing the strict game-mechanic interpretation of 'adjacent' (though I'm certain this is not true of the judges). That said though, I do still think that if phrased more simply it might have been even clearer, and might have more clearly avoided this misinterpretation.
I do like the idea behind the item quite a bit, but I still don't think the mechanics or the presentation of the mechanics were fully there.
I think you're also assuming that a creature's shadow will fill all of those adjacent squares. This is not the case (as the judges and I indicated). It depends on the direction of the light source. If the only light is from someone facing me, then my shadow will be behind me. So even if I had understood your sentence restricting the area of the shadow, it still requires a lot of work from the GM to determine which squares the shadow falls into based on the direction of the shadow.
I'm not assuming, I'm dictating. I've abstracted the need to calculate light source vectoring and simply indicated adjacent surfaces are acceptable targets-- much in the same way we don't worry about facing.
That said, your revision about surfaces within 5 feet is cleaner, even if it doesn't handle the "directly above/below" option. Thank you.
-Ben.
No problem. This is intended to be constructive :)
If you're going to dictate something like that I think you need to say it very explicitly - something like: "For the purposes of this item, all adjacent squares [or however you say that] are acceptable targets, regardless of light source or whether the target's shadow actually occupies the area." The assumption may avoid the need for new rules about shadows, but conversely since there aren't any such existing rules as far as I am aware (other than what I assume is the default for most people, which is that they work as in real life), without saying it really explicitly either the GM has to assume your intended meaning (which they may or may not realize), or has to make up their own (potentially very complex) interpretation.
You may also consider the case of overlapping shadows. What happens for a group of creatures standing close to each other, such that a given square may be an acceptable target for more than one creature. Are all of them pinned by a single spike? If so, it's a more powerful effect. If not, how do you choose which target is affected?
Except the item specifically accounts for that, saying:
terraleon wrote:
The surface must be directly above, beneath or adjacent to the target, like a 5-foot square of wall, floor, or ceiling, but not attended objects.
For me the text you point to really doesn't do much at all to clarify the point - "surrounding" can be a very big or very small area.
Those are game mechanics-- a surface "above, beneath, or adjacent to the target" creature is a very clear area. Medium-or-smaller creature? Then its square and the surrounding 8 squares are valid, as is the square over the creature with the ceiling (if the ceiling exists in the setting). An adjacent attacker's shield? No, as it's an attended object. That table or the door? Sure.
You're conflating the mechanics of the item with my comment. Only my quoted portion is from the item. A space "adjacent" to a target is pretty clear within the rules and requires no calculation of shadows and light sources. "Above and below" are pretty clear, too.
The item can't target the shadow stretching 90 feet down a hall. It can only target the shadow on a surface "directly above, beneath or adjacent to the target, like a 5-foot square of wall, floor, or ceiling, but not attended objects."
-Ben.
I think your sentence as written doesn't quite convey what you just described here. Your sentence specifies that the surface must be adjacent to the target, and surfaces can be pretty big. You say "like a 5-foot square of wall, floor, or ceiling" which doesn't really explicitly state an adjacent 5-foot square.
While I think I might get now how you intended the item to work, it is a hard sentence to write, particularly since there is a need to cover the case of airborne targets as well. I would rephrase it or revise the underlying concept. (it would be far simpler, for example, if you just say that shadows can only be pinned on a wall, ceiling or floor within 5 feet of the target. Then it doesn't matter how high the ceiling is or if the target is flying - it's much easier to say.
But, I think the mechanics are still overly complicated, and at least two things still need some thought.
First, it seems a bit weird that a creature can only be pinned from an adjacent square, but can then move up to 30 feet. If they can move that far while pinned, why can't they be pinned from that far away? This also makes the sentence about pinned creatures being pulled towards the spike less clear. Wouldn't a creature only be pulled towards the spike if they were farther away than their allotted distance? If they can't move that far beyond the spike, how would they get that far away in the first place? Also, if the ceiling could be 50 feet above a target, why couldn't a wall 50 feet away be used? If they are flying 1000 feet up, can they still be pinned from the ground?
I think you're also assuming that a creature's shadow will fill all of those adjacent squares. This is not the case (as the judges and I indicated). It depends on the direction of the light source. If the only light is from someone facing me, then my shadow will be behind me. So even if I had understood your sentence restricting the area of the shadow, it still requires a lot of work from the GM to determine which squares the shadow falls into based on the direction of the shadow.
*You realize of course the introduction of this item will now necessitate the GM measuring all of the lighting angles to determine how long of a shadow an individual creature casts to determine which squares can be targeted by this spike? Creature size would also need to be factored in, as a dragon's shadow is likely to stretch much further than a man-sized creature....
*Yeah, this introduces a lot of issues with measuring/guessing the location of shadows.
Except the item specifically accounts for that, saying:
terraleon wrote:
The surface must be directly above, beneath or adjacent to the target, like a 5-foot square of wall, floor, or ceiling, but not attended objects.
Which pretty clearly limits the target area to the floors, walls, and ceiling either surrounding the creature or directly above or below it.
For me the text you point to really doesn't do much at all to clarify the point - "surrounding" can be a very big or very small area.
Imagine how a shadow looks when light is directly overhead - it's a small pool directly at someone's feet. Now imagine the shadow when light is coming from the side and slightly above shoulder height. The shadow will stretch all the way across the floor and up the wall (assuming one is present), and will be larger the farther from the target it is.
In the first case, the spike will be very difficult to use. In the latter case, the spike could be used from 50 feet away or more with ease.
What if there are two or more light sources? Everyone in the room casts multiple shadows, in a variety of angles/lengths. Can any one of these shadow be pinned for a particular creature?
An easy strategy then is to surround the target with torches or magical lights (of any sort), adjust the lighting to move any one shadow to the Umbral spike wearer's feet, then use it. I think that's a very easy way to abuse this item (though it would reduce the GM's bookkeeping, if the players auto-succeed on manipulating where the shadow goes).
edit: for that matter, could a target casting multiple shadows be spiked by multiple Umbral Spikes at one time?
If you select more than 8 entries this round your vote won't be recorded. We should probably display a message to that effect once you click the vote button but I don't think we do currently. Could that be what you're running into?
I only selected six to vote for. Could it be because I'm voting for less than 8 entries?
If you see checkboxes, your vote hasn't been recorded and you need to vote again.
Something's still not working for me then. I've hit the vote button about 15 times each in Safari and Firefox, and each time the page refreshes with the checkboxes coming back up.
Really? Posting to try and get votes in the thread advising you to keep quiet and get to work?
Unless I'm missing some humorous tone not explicit in the text, all that does is very much make me NOT want to vote for you.
Despite the glaring flaws in my item design, I'd still very much love to be where the top 32 are, and every time I see post after post after post from a competitor all I can think is, "why aren't you using this time to work on your submission rather than beg for votes!?"
I'm voting for the well written and creative submissions. The kind of stuff I'd want to see in a module that I'd actually want to play. The desperate cries for votes are really only a distraction from the work itself, and since that's how I place my votes, you should probably stop distracting me!
Then again...I'm just one guy...
Joke or not, I've got to agree with this. It's not the best time or place for a joke (and I have almost no sense when it comes to that, so if I get it....)
I had the same feeling about the top 32 commenting on the organizations that their competitors submitted. It may not be against the rules, and the comments may be generally (but not always) positive, but it rubs me the wrong way.
Pointing out the strengths and weaknesses of your competition while voting is going on just seems like it's in poor taste. If you really have something you need to say, why not at least wait until voting is over. Again, even if it's not against the rules, it's not going to endear me to the person(s) doing it.
I only voted for six this round, that really grabbed me in one way or another -
Bob Drouin - Fear, Fist and Flame
Sam Polak - Riders of the Black Steppe
James Raine - Besmara's Chosen
Tom Phillips - Sisters of Chana-Zhol
Jacob Michaels - The Unfettered
Russell Vaneekhoven - The Foulgrip Rangers
Interesting idea. For me, the rules-specified difficulty in breaking the bond between a summoner and their eidolon isn't a big deal. It's easy enough to imagine that the organization has found a (secret) way to break that bond (if made public, maybe it could be countered, so they keep it close within the upper ranks).
I'm with Ryan on this one - I loved the name and the structure of the organization. I think the name stands out as an unusual one, that nicely avoids any kind of cliched structure, and makes it easy to remember the different parts of the organization. Good job!
+2 Acrobatics (Dex +2, Rank 0, Class Skill +3),
+0 Appraise (Int +1, Ranks 0, Class Skill +3)
+7 Bluff (Cha +3, Ranks 1, Class Skill +3)
+1 Climb (Str +1, Ranks 0, Class Skill +3)
+* Craft(untrained) (Int +1, Ranks 0, Class Skill +3)
+3 Diplomacy (Cha +3, Ranks 0, Class Skill +3)
+2 Disable Divice (Dex +2, Ranks 0)
+3 Disguise (Cha +3, Ranks 0, Class Skill +3)
+2 Escape Artist (Dex +2, Ranks 0, Class Skill +3)
+* Fly (Dex +2, Ranks 0)
+9/13 Handle Animal (Cha +3, Ranks 1, Class(trait) Skill +3, Race +2) (+4 vs. Canines)
+0 Heal (Wis +0, Ranks 0)
+3 Intimidate (Cha +3, Ranks 0, Class Skill +3)
+* Knowledge, Arcana (Int +1, Ranks 0, Class Skill +3, Bard +1)
+* Knowledge, Dungeoneering (Int +1, Ranks 0, Class Skill +3, Bard +1)
+* Knowledge, Engineering (Int +1, Ranks 0, Class Skill +3, Bard +1)
+7 Knowledge, Geography (Int +1, Ranks 1, Class Skill +3, Bard +1, Trait +1)
+* Knowledge, History (Int +1, Ranks 0, Class Skill +3, Bard +1)
+7 Knowledge, Local (Int +1, Ranks 1, Class Skill +3, Bard +1, Trait +1)
+* Knowledge, Nature (Int +1, Ranks 0, Class Skill +3, Bard +1)
+* Knowledge, Nobility (Int +1, Ranks 0, Class Skill +3, Bard +1)
+* Knowledge, Planes (Int +1, Ranks 0, Class Skill +3, Bard +1)
+* Knowledge, Religion (Int +1, Ranks 0, Class Skill +3, Bard +1)
+* Linguistics (Int +1, Ranks 0, Class Skill +3)
+4 Perception (Wis +0, Ranks 1, Class Skill +3)
+3 Perform(Act): (Cha +3, Ranks 0, Class Skill +3)
+3 Perform(Comedy): (Cha +3, Ranks 0, Class Skill +3)
+3 Perform(Dance): (Cha +3, Ranks 0, Class Skill +3)
+3 Perform(Keyboard): (Cha +3, Ranks 0, Class Skill +3)
+7 Perform(Oratory): (Cha +3, Ranks 1, Class Skill +3)
+3 Perform(Percussion): (Cha +3, Ranks 0, Class Skill +3)
+3 Perform(Sing): (Cha +3, Ranks 0, Class Skill +3)
+3 Perform(String Instruments): (Cha +3, Ranks 0, Class Skill +3)
+3 Perform(Wind Instruments): (Cha +3, Ranks 0, Class Skill +3)
+2 Ride (Dex +2, Ranks 0)
+0 Sense Motive (Wis +0, Ranks 0, Class Skill +3)
+2 Slight of Hand (Dex +2, Ranks 0, Class Skill +3)
+* Spellcraft (Int +0, Ranks 0, Class Skill +3)
+6 Stealth (Dex +2, Ranks 1, Class Skill +3)
+0 Survival (Wis +0, Ranks 0, Race +2)
+1 Swim (Str +1, Ranks 0)
+* Use Magic Device (Cha +3, Ranks 0, Class Skill +3)
Each level skill points gained = 7+1 (6 Bard +1 Int +1 (if FC))
Traits:
• Restless Wayfarer - +1 Knowledge(local, geography), bonus language
• Adopted --> Animal Friend - +1 trait bonus on Will saving throws as long as an animal (Tiny or larger, must be at least indifferent toward you) is within 30 feet, and Handle Animal is always a class skill for you.
Feats:
Lingering Performance (1st Level)
Weapon Proficiency(Bard): simple weapons plus the longsword, rapier, sap, short sword, shortbow, and whip.
Racial:
Assimar(Idyllkin) have the following racial traits:
Ability Adjustments: I +2 Constitution and +2 Charisma.
Type: Outsider(native) & Humanoid(Gnome) <-- See Alternative Racial Traits Size: Small - Gnome Aasimar
Base Speed: 30'
Languages: Common & Celestial -- Aasimars with high Intelligence scores can choose from the following languages: Draconic, Dwarven, Elven, Gnome, Halfling, and Sylvan.
Celestial Resistance: acid resistance 5, cold resistance 5, and electricity resistance 5.
Skilled: Idyllkin - Handle Animal +2, Survival +2
Spell-Like Ability (Sp): Idyllkin can use Summon Nature's Ally II once per day as a spell-like ability (caster level equal to the aasimar's class level).
Darkvision: darkvision 60 ft.
Alternate Racial Traits:
Scion of Humanity(Gnomemanity): Some aasimars' heavenly ancestry is extremely distant. An aasimar with this racial trait counts as an outsider (native) and a humanoid (human) for any effect related to race, including feat prerequisites and spells that affect humanoids. She can pass for human without using the Disguise skill. This racial trait replaces the Celestial language and alters the native subtype.
Weapon and Armor Proficiency:
Bards are proficient with all simple weapons, plus the longsword, rapier, sap, short sword, shortbow, and whip.
Bards are also proficient with light armor and shields (except tower shields).
Bardic Knowledge (Ex):
A bard adds half his class level (minimum 1) to all Knowledge skill checks and may make all Knowledge skill checks untrained.
Bardic Performance
May be used 4 + Cha + 2/level over 1st rounds per day.
Starting = Standard Action, Maintaining = Free, Changing = Standard.
7th - Starting = Move, 13th - Starting = Swift
Countersong (Su)
At 1st level may counter certain spells.
Distraction (Su)
At 1st level, a bard can use his performance to counter magic effects that depend on sight.
Animal Friend
Level 1 --> Canines
An animal speaker selects a particular kind of animal, such as apes, badgers, bears, boars, cats, snakes, and so on. The bard gains a +4 bonus on Handle Animal checks to influence animals of his chosen kind. Animals of this kind have a starting attitude of at least “indifferent” toward the bard and never attack him unless he attacks them first.
Animal companions and magically controlled animals of the bard’s chosen kind can be directed to attack the bard if the controlling creature wins an opposed Charisma check against the bard (this check can be made once per round until it succeeds, after which no further checks are needed). Supernatural versions of animals (such as animals with the fiendish template) can attempt an opposed Charisma check against the bard with a +4 bonus on its roll to overcome this hesitation. This ability has no effect on creatures other than animals.
This ability replaces fascinate.
Nature’s Speaker
At 5th, 11th, and 17th level, the animal speaker selects another kind of animal friend. The bard can use speak with animals at will on animals of his selected kinds.
This ability replaces well-versed.
Inspire Courage (Su)
+1 moral bonus on saving throws against charm and fear effects.
+1 competence bonus on weapon attacks & damage.
+2 @ 5th Level, +3 @ 11th Level, +4 @ 17th Level
Summon Nature’s Ally
Gains as known spells all Summon Nature's Ally spells when able to cast.
This ability replaces mass suggestion.
Versatile Performance (Ex)
Perform may replace certain skills.
2nd, 6th, 10th, 14th, 18th level.
The types of Perform and their associated skills are: Act (Bluff, Disguise), Comedy (Bluff, Intimidate), Dance (Acrobatics, Fly), Keyboard Instruments (Diplomacy, Intimidate), Oratory (Diplomacy, Sense Motive), Percussion (Handle Animal, Intimidate), Sing (Bluff, Sense Motive), String (Bluff, Diplomacy), and Wind (Diplomacy, Handle Animal).
Soothing Performance:
At 3rd level, an animal speaker can use bardic performance to influence animals. This works like the druid ability wild empathy, except he expends 1 round of bardic performance and makes a Perform check. If the bard already has wild empathy from another class, he adds the class levels that provide wild empathy to the result of his Perform check to influence an animal.
This ability replaces inspire competence.
Attract Rats:
At 5th level, the animal speaker can use bardic performance to summon 1d3 rat swarms; they remain as long as he continues performing. At 11th level, he summons 2d3 swarms instead of 1d3 and the swarms have the advanced creature simple template. At 17th level, the number of swarms he summons increases to 3d3.
This ability replaces lore master.
Suggestion (Sp)
A bard of 6th level or higher can use his performance to make a suggestion (as per the spell) to a creature that he has already fascinated (see above). Using this ability does not disrupt the fascinate effect, but it does require a standard action to activate (in addition to the free action to continue the fascinate effect). A bard can use this ability more than once against an individual creature during an individual performance.
A Will saving throw (DC 10 + 1/2 bard’s level + bard’s Cha modifier) negates the effect. This ability affects only a single creature (but see mass suggestion, below). Suggestion is an enchantment (compulsion), mind-affecting, language-dependent ability and relies on audible components.
Dirge of Doom (Su)
A bard of 8th level or higher can use his performance to foster a sense of growing dread in his enemies, causing them to take become shaken. To be affected, an enemy must be within 30 feet and able to see and hear the bard's performance. The effect persists for as long as the enemy is within 30 feet and the bard continues the performance. The performance cannot cause a creature to become frightened or panicked, even if the targets are already shaken from another effect. Dirge of doom is a mind-affecting fear effect, and it relies on audible and visual components.
Inspire Greatness (Su)
A bard of 9th level or higher can use his performance to inspire greatness in himself or a single willing ally within 30 feet, granting extra fighting capability. For every three levels a bard attains beyond 9th, he can target one additional ally while using this performance (up to a maximum of four at 18th level). To inspire greatness, all of the targets must be able to see and hear the bard. A creature inspired with greatness gains 2 bonus Hit Dice (d10s), the commensurate number of temporary hit points (apply the target’s Constitution modifier, if any, to these bonus Hit Dice), a +2 competence bonus on attack rolls, and a +1 competence bonus on Fortitude saves. The bonus Hit Dice count as regular Hit Dice for determining the effect of spells that are Hit Dice dependent. Inspire greatness is a mind-affecting ability and it relies on audible and visual components.
Jack of All Trades (Ex)
At 10th level, the bard can use any skill, even if the skill normally requires him to be trained. At 16th level, the bard considers all skills to be class skills. At 19th level, the bard can take 10 on any skill check, even if it is not normally allowed.
Soothing Performance (Su)
A bard of 12th level or higher can use his performance to create an effect equivalent to the mass cure serious wounds, using the bard's level as the caster level. In addition, this performance removes the fatigued, sickened, and shaken condition from all those affected. Using this ability requires 4 continuous performance, and the targets must be able to see and hear the bard throughout the performance. Soothing performance relies on audible and visual components.
Frightening Tune (Sp)
A bard of 14th level or higher can use his performance to cause fear in his enemies. To be affected, an enemy must be able to hear the bard perform and be within 30 feet. Each enemy within range receives a Will save (DC 10 + 1/2 the bard’s level + the bard’s Cha modifier) to negate the effect. If the save succeeds, the creature is immune to this ability for 24 hours. If the save fails, the target becomes frightened and flees for as long as the target can hear the bard's performance. Frightening tune relies on audible components.
Inspire Heroics (Su)
A bard of 15th level or higher can inspire tremendous heroism in himself or a single ally within 30 feet. For every three bard levels the character attains beyond 15th, he can inspire heroics in one additional creature. To inspire heroics, all of the targets must be able to see and hear the bard. Inspired creatures gain a +4 morale bonus on saving throws and a +4 dodge bonus to AC. The effect lasts for as long as the targets are able to witness the performance. Inspire heroics is a mind-affecting ability that relies on audible and visual components.
Mass Suggestion (Sp)
This ability functions just like suggestion, but allows a bard of 18th level or higher to make a suggestion simultaneously to any number of creatures that he has already fascinated. Mass suggestion is an enchantment (compulsion), mind-affecting, language dependent ability that relies on audible components.
Deadly Performance (Su)
A bard of 20th level or higher can use his performance to cause one enemy to die from joy or sorrow. To be affected, the target must be able to see and hear the bard perform for 1 full round and be within 30 feet. The target receives a Will save (DC 10 + 1/2 the bard’s level + the bard’s Cha modifier) to negate the effect. If a creature’s saving throw succeeds, the target is staggered for 1d4 rounds, and the bard cannot use deadly performance on that creature again for 24 hours. If a creature's saving throw fails, it dies. Deadly performance is a mind-effecting death effect that relies on audible and visual components.
Bard Spells:
0th Level
Detect Magic
Mage Hand
Message
Read Magic
Light Load: x < 58 lbs.
Medium Load: 59 < x < 116 lbs.
Heavy Load: 117 < x < 175 lbs
Appearance:
Approaching you is a small woman riding a large dog. As she approaches you realize that she is a gnome, but with strange eyes. She seems rather uncomfortable on the dog, yet you get the feeling that the dog is completely loyal to her. With her hair flowing behind her and dust on her patched armor, it is clear that the small woman has spent much time on the road.
Background:
A small woman sits next to a fire on a hill looking down at the village a few miles off. Another town and another message delivered. So many years, so many messages. Someday, perhaps I will be part of the story rather than just the messenger.
As she sits, she recalls her long youth and many years on the road and the stories that came with them. As she does so, she reaches out and scratches the ears of her faithful hound friend and companion.
Her youth is like a shadow it is now so many years ago. Growing up in a village just north of the Grundig Forest. The cold days and colder nights of the Land of the Linnorm Kings are legendary. But nowhere near as cold as Irrisen to the east. As she recalls the cold of the north, the small woman pulls her cloak more tightly around her to ward off the evening chill. Erdthira has never been affected by cold as her friends, gnome, human or otherwise, are. Nonetheless, she still can feel the chill wind of the north on nights like this when she is alone and recollecting her youth.
While not directly next to Irrisen, every village in the northern lands must be on a continuous watch for wolves and other predators from the wild frozen nation of Witches. Erdthira recalls the first time that she discovered she had a connection with wolves and dogs. She was out with friends and was returning home just after the sun had set and the frigid night had begun. As she walked, she suddenly saw before her two sets of cold blue eyes and heard the deep growl of a wolf. While the night was cold, these eyes were colder, like the heart of a witch.
Knowing that running would be useless as the much larger wolves could easily outpace her, Erdthira simply stood and watched the animals. The continued to growl and moved slowly toward her. Much to her surprise, the two big dogs did not attack, but simply approached her and then sniffed her, as though she were a pup or a member of the pack. Having regained some confidence, Erdthira then reached out and carefully scratched the wolf's ears. The wolf did not snap at her, but rather put its head down while the other wolf lay down before her.
Erdthira stayed and scratched the wolves ears and stomachs for several minutes until her hands became cold. Then she waved to the wolves and continued on her walk home. Once home, she asked her mother about the incident. Her mother told her this story:
Many years ago, your great grandmother, Rentinossi, was out picking berries in the spring when two wolves came out from the woods. She was sure that she was done for and turned to run. But, as she did, a small person with a grey foxlike appearance suddenly appeared and stood between her and the wolves. The wolves growled at the strange small man, and then turned and went back into the woods and Retinossi let out a great sigh of relief. She then turned and asked the foxlike man who he was. He responded that he was an Agathion, a creature from the heavens, and that he travelled the lands telling stories and learning the stories of others.
Rentinossi invited the agathion back to her home where he told her a tale of great adventure from the south where the sun was hot and snow was never seen. Rentinossi could almost not believe such stories. A land where there was no snow - unbelievable. Once the agathion had finished his story, Rentinossi told him of her gnome village and of the fear all gnomes have of the bleaching. After hearing the story, the agathion thought for a few minutes and then said:I shall bless you, and you and your children shall never have to worry about this bleaching again.
Rentinossi did not know what the small creature did, but it was as though she had a piece of him within her forever after. She found great delight in telling stories and hearing the stories of others. Also, she found that she had a great ability to calm dogs and other canines.
Once Erdthira heard this story, she knew that she to must have been somehow touched by this small man-fox, this agathion as he called himself. After this day, Erdthira found that she could calm and almost speak with dogs and other canines, the foxes that wandered the fields, even an occasional wolf when she found one in the wild. In addition, after hearing this story, Erdthira found that she too loved stories, both hearing them and telling them.
Within a year or two of the encounter with the wolves, Erdthira developed a wanderlust. She was given a large hound by her parents and left the town with a wave riding the dog. While she has never been the most comfortable in the saddle riding a dog, her ability to communicate with the loyal animals has made travel quite easy. From the Land of the Linnorm Kings, Erdthira travelled to the coast where she was hired to take a message from Kalsgard to a merchant in Riddleport to the south. There she was hired to carry a message to Magnimar. One message soon led to the next to the next. She travelled many lands, even those strange places to the south where the snow never falls and the sun is so hot it makes you feel as though you skin is afire.
After thinking of this, all the towns and cities, the merchants, the nobles, and the others she has met over the years, Erdthira once again looks down on the small town of Heldren.
Perhaps some day, I will be part of the stories, not just the messenger.
Well, we shall see what tomorrow will bring. Most likely a message for someone two towns away, or perhaps a missive for a noble in his castle, or the start of a great adventure with dragons and giants.
As her imagination rapidly escalates, she sadly shakes her head. [i]No, it will assuredly just be another message for the merchant a few towns away.
And with that, she reaches out and scratches the ears of her hound once more before pulling her blanket up and curling up for the night.
