Why are Gnomes so awful?


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Dark Archive

I'm not talking rule mechanics. I just hate gnomes. The old school gnomes looked ugly, the WoW gnomes look ridiculous, and the Golarion gnomes look like those old "Troll" dolls from when I was a kid. Not to mention lawn gnomes deserve smashing. All gnomes deserve my undying hatred. Why do you people put up with them?

Grand Lodge

Pathfinder Adventure, Rulebook Subscriber; Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber

*shrugs* I can't recall any of my players choosing to play one themselves. And they really do seem to be bastard offspring of dwarves and halflings. I could do worse than cutting them from my campaign completely.

Dark Archive

TriOmegaZero wrote:
*shrugs* I can't recall any of my players choosing to play one themselves. And they really do seem to be bastard offspring of dwarves and halflings. I could do worse than cutting them from my campaign completely.

Which is why I also enjoy the old school Dark Sun, gnomes were one of the races wiped out by the sorcerer kings.

Dark Archive

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Are you cooking them right? I have a good recipe for gnome stew you might like. :)

Pathfinder Gnomes are the most interesting. I am not wild about the crazy colors but I like everything else about them. Which is a first for me to like gnome fluff.


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Companion, Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber
Jeremy Mcgillan wrote:
I'm not talking rule mechanics. I just hate gnomes. The old school gnomes looked ugly, the WoW gnomes look ridiculous, and the Golarion gnomes look like those old "Troll" dolls from when I was a kid. Not to mention lawn gnomes deserve smashing. All gnomes deserve my undying hatred. Why do you people put up with them?

To be honest, the Golarion Gnome is the only gnome i have actually been tempted/willing to to play as my own PC. I like the new image, and the fey ties, and to me they finally seem to be distinct and set apart from the halflings and dwarves.

The Exchange

Jeremy Mcgillan wrote:
I'm not talking rule mechanics. I just hate gnomes. The old school gnomes looked ugly, the WoW gnomes look ridiculous, and the Golarion gnomes look like those old "Troll" dolls from when I was a kid. Not to mention lawn gnomes deserve smashing. All gnomes deserve my undying hatred. Why do you people put up with them?

I play Gnomes as if they were Kender. If I have done my job right, once you have played with me your Hate morphs all the way into Loathing.


Dark_Mistress wrote:

Are you cooking them right? I have a good recipe for gnome stew you might like. :)

Pathfinder Gnomes are the most interesting. I am not wild about the crazy colors but I like everything else about them. Which is a first for me to like gnome fluff.

mmm... Gnome fluff what is the recipe for that.

Dark Archive

Crimson Jester wrote:
Jeremy Mcgillan wrote:
I'm not talking rule mechanics. I just hate gnomes. The old school gnomes looked ugly, the WoW gnomes look ridiculous, and the Golarion gnomes look like those old "Troll" dolls from when I was a kid. Not to mention lawn gnomes deserve smashing. All gnomes deserve my undying hatred. Why do you people put up with them?
I play Gnomes as if they were Kender. If I have done my job right, once you have played with me your Hate morphs all the way into Loathing.

I already detest the things.......

Dark Archive

Dark_Mistress wrote:


Pathfinder Gnomes are the most interesting. I am not wild about the crazy colors but I like everything else about them. Which is a first for me to like gnome fluff.

Ditto. Finally make sense AND different from all the rest of the races. Now willing to consider playing one.

Liberty's Edge

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Jeremy Mcgillan wrote:
I'm not talking rule mechanics. I just hate gnomes. The old school gnomes looked ugly, the WoW gnomes look ridiculous, and the Golarion gnomes look like those old "Troll" dolls from when I was a kid. Not to mention lawn gnomes deserve smashing. All gnomes deserve my undying hatred. Why do you people put up with them?

Many moons ago, a buddy of mine knew this family that had a "pet" lawn gnome. They would dress it up for different holidays, keep it on the porch out of the elements, you name it. Well one day, when everyone was at work, we gnome-napped their little lawn gnome and went to the sex shop to get it a new accessory. We let them stew for a few days before returning the gnome to the middle of their front lawn brandishing his new strap-on dildo. The look on their face when they opened the door to let us in and (after a few minutes of conversation) noticed their beloved (now well-endowed) gnome returned was priceless.

I still laugh about that to this day :D

The Exchange

Jeremy Mcgillan wrote:
Crimson Jester wrote:
Jeremy Mcgillan wrote:
I'm not talking rule mechanics. I just hate gnomes. The old school gnomes looked ugly, the WoW gnomes look ridiculous, and the Golarion gnomes look like those old "Troll" dolls from when I was a kid. Not to mention lawn gnomes deserve smashing. All gnomes deserve my undying hatred. Why do you people put up with them?
I play Gnomes as if they were Kender. If I have done my job right, once you have played with me your Hate morphs all the way into Loathing.
I already detest the things.......

I could make it worse.

Silver Crusade

1 person marked this as a favorite.

I love gnomes.

Deal with it.

:-P

Grand Lodge

Pathfinder Adventure, Rulebook Subscriber; Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber
Celestial Healer wrote:

I love gnomes.

Deal with it.

:-P

No, YOU deal with it!

Dark Archive

Celestial Healer wrote:

I love gnomes.

Deal with it.

:-P

I`ve already dealt with it. I can`t help your wrong!!!

Silver Crusade

Jeremy Mcgillan wrote:
Celestial Healer wrote:

I love gnomes.

Deal with it.

:-P

I`ve already dealt with it. I can`t help your wrong!!!

My gnome sorcerer could kick your ass.

Dark Archive

Celestial Healer wrote:
Jeremy Mcgillan wrote:
Celestial Healer wrote:

I love gnomes.

Deal with it.

:-P

I`ve already dealt with it. I can`t help your wrong!!!
My gnome sorcerer could kick your ass.

I would punt that gnome to a field goal.

Silver Crusade

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Jeremy Mcgillan wrote:
Celestial Healer wrote:
Jeremy Mcgillan wrote:
Celestial Healer wrote:

I love gnomes.

Deal with it.

:-P

I`ve already dealt with it. I can`t help your wrong!!!
My gnome sorcerer could kick your ass.
I would punt that gnome to a field goal.

He would cry.

Dark Archive

Celestial Healer wrote:
Jeremy Mcgillan wrote:
Celestial Healer wrote:
Jeremy Mcgillan wrote:
Celestial Healer wrote:

I love gnomes.

Deal with it.

:-P

I`ve already dealt with it. I can`t help your wrong!!!
My gnome sorcerer could kick your ass.
I would punt that gnome to a field goal.
He would cry.

GOOD!!!!!!


I like gnomes. I've only played a couple of them in FR, but I liked the forgotten folk. My buddy Nate played gnome rogue who dipped into Gnome Giant Killer and rocked! Everybody ignores/dismisses the little gnome until the sneak attack dice get busted out.

I may like them to some degree because they aren't popular. I might be a bit contrary.;)

Dark Archive

Bitter Thorn wrote:

I like gnomes. I've only played a couple of them in FR, but I liked the forgotten folk. My buddy Nate played gnome rogue who dipped into Gnome Giant Killer and rocked! Everybody ignores/dismisses the little gnome until the sneak attack dice get busted out.

I may like them to some degree because they aren't popular. I might be a bit contrary.;)

Still doesn't change the fact they're annoying creepy little weirdos.

Dark Archive

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Jeremy Mcgillan wrote:
Bitter Thorn wrote:

I like gnomes. I've only played a couple of them in FR, but I liked the forgotten folk. My buddy Nate played gnome rogue who dipped into Gnome Giant Killer and rocked! Everybody ignores/dismisses the little gnome until the sneak attack dice get busted out.

I may like them to some degree because they aren't popular. I might be a bit contrary.;)

Still doesn't change the fact they're annoying creepy little weirdos.

So their gamers? :)


Before the pathfinder changes, yeah I did not get Gnomes. I really like the changes and can really get behind em. I like em being odd, Alien and creepy and not just short humans.

Now if only they would do something with halflings

Dark Archive

seekerofshadowlight wrote:


Now if only they would do something with halflings

Next month.

Sczarni

Three words:

Gnome (Fey) Sorcerer.

"You don't like me," wipes away glistening single tear and pouts adorably, "but I like you..."

<Charm Person>

"There, there, all better."

Sovereign Court

Wait, if you smash your lawn gnome then whose protecting your garden from black magic?


Morgen wrote:
Wait, if you smash your lawn gnome then whose protecting your garden from black magic?

Pink flamingos and lawn jockeys.


joela wrote:
seekerofshadowlight wrote:


Now if only they would do something with halflings
Next month.

Without a total fluff rewrite I would still find them Boring and well lame. Paizo did a great job with Gnomes but left halflings as uninteresting as they have always been

Shadow Lodge

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

How can you not like the little guys? They come bearing gifts!


Whilst I love Paizo gnomes(they have a few things in common with Wunian[Freehold] Halflings), and I think that one picture of Lini is hot, I have yet to have a positive experience with one in game. Maybe I should give them a try. Gnomes are believed to be extinct in Freehold! The Saga of Wune, although they left a plethora of fascinating items and artifacts behind that humans(and their half-kin), dwarves and halflings puzzle over to this day.


In my home game, I play the gnomes in stark contrast to the dwarves, which is funny because they live in the same settlements.

Dwarves are steadfast, crafty, though a little blunt. Like a skilled craftsman working at his table.
Gnomes are Hyper, Imaginative and Inventive. They see life like a party ( what with their ability to create sparkly rave lights)

Dwarves emerged under the skin of the world, and have a history dating back to one of the biggest disasters of all time.
Gnomes emerged onto the Prime material plane because of a war with the troglodytes, who were invading the plane of dreams.

Dwarves fight and die with honor, Fighting foes that have vexed their kind for centuries.
Gnomes explode into Smoke, Confetti, and small bits of candy when they die.


Elias Alexander wrote:
Gnomes explode into Smoke, Confetti, and small bits of candy when they die.

I'm surprised Gnomes aren't on the Endangered/Threatened Species list. C'mon, who wouldn't wack-a-gnome to get to the piñata goodness inside! Are your flumphs made of flan too? :)

Dark Archive

Elias Alexander wrote:

In my home game, I play the gnomes in stark contrast to the dwarves, which is funny because they live in the same settlements.

Dwarves are steadfast, crafty, though a little blunt. Like a skilled craftsman working at his table.
Gnomes are Hyper, Imaginative and Inventive. They see life like a party ( what with their ability to create sparkly rave lights)

Dwarves emerged under the skin of the world, and have a history dating back to one of the biggest disasters of all time.
Gnomes emerged onto the Prime material plane because of a war with the troglodytes, who were invading the plane of dreams.

Dwarves fight and die with honor, Fighting foes that have vexed their kind for centuries.
Gnomes explode into Smoke, Confetti, and small bits of candy when they die.

If they exploded into good milk chocolate in wrappers when they died I would hunt them to extinction.

Sczarni

Gnomes = Viva Pinata Animals?

Complete with "Sweet, sweet candy guts?"

Man, I've been missing out!


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Dark_Mistress wrote:


If they exploded into good milk chocolate in wrappers when they died I would hunt them to extinction.

I think the new Willywonka said this best.

" But that is called "cannibalism," my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies. "

The Exchange

Traditional Gnomes are Earth Element creatures that look like Small Humans less than a foot tall (Their Elemental Rivals are Salamanders, Pixies, Nerids).

Dark Archive

Elias Alexander wrote:
Dark_Mistress wrote:


If they exploded into good milk chocolate in wrappers when they died I would hunt them to extinction.

I think the new Willywonka said this best.

" But that is called "cannibalism," my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies. "

Except I am not a gnome or even from the prime material plane.


Dark_Mistress wrote:
Elias Alexander wrote:
Dark_Mistress wrote:


If they exploded into good milk chocolate in wrappers when they died I would hunt them to extinction.

I think the new Willywonka said this best.

" But that is called "cannibalism," my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies. "

Except I am not a gnome or even from the prime material plane.

that brings up an interesting concept... how do you define " cannibalism" with multiple sentient races? .... does an orc who chews the bones of dwarves risk becoming a ghoul?


Jeremy Mcgillan wrote:
Bitter Thorn wrote:

I like gnomes. I've only played a couple of them in FR, but I liked the forgotten folk. My buddy Nate played gnome rogue who dipped into Gnome Giant Killer and rocked! Everybody ignores/dismisses the little gnome until the sneak attack dice get busted out.

I may like them to some degree because they aren't popular. I might be a bit contrary.;)

Still doesn't change the fact they're annoying creepy little weirdos.

They're not as cool as dwarves, but I still like them.

Dark Archive

Bitter Thorn wrote:
Jeremy Mcgillan wrote:
Bitter Thorn wrote:

I like gnomes. I've only played a couple of them in FR, but I liked the forgotten folk. My buddy Nate played gnome rogue who dipped into Gnome Giant Killer and rocked! Everybody ignores/dismisses the little gnome until the sneak attack dice get busted out.

I may like them to some degree because they aren't popular. I might be a bit contrary.;)

Still doesn't change the fact they're annoying creepy little weirdos.

useless gnomes I can't stand.

They're not as cool as dwarves, but I still like them.

See I love dwarves, elves, humans, and halflings just fine. It's those damned useless gnomes i can't stand.


Jeremy Mcgillan wrote:
Bitter Thorn wrote:
Jeremy Mcgillan wrote:
Bitter Thorn wrote:

I like gnomes. I've only played a couple of them in FR, but I liked the forgotten folk. My buddy Nate played gnome rogue who dipped into Gnome Giant Killer and rocked! Everybody ignores/dismisses the little gnome until the sneak attack dice get busted out.

I may like them to some degree because they aren't popular. I might be a bit contrary.;)

Still doesn't change the fact they're annoying creepy little weirdos.

useless gnomes I can't stand.

They're not as cool as dwarves, but I still like them.
See I love dwarves, elves, humans, and halflings just fine. It's those damned useless gnomes i can't stand.

LOL! Merry Christmas anyway!

Liberty's Edge

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Haters gonna hate.


*squawks approvingly*


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

You know whats funny, I don't have an issue with Gnomes but I can't stand (stereotypical) Dwarves.

Shadow Lodge

With Paizo's re-write of gnomes, they're probably the MOST interesting PC race. Elves and dwarves are basically the same as they always have been.

I generally discount halflings altogether, because they've always been boring as hell. In 0E-2E, they were Bilbo Baggins, only without a cool artifact. In 3.X, they became a bland kender-lite race.

Scarab Sages

Crimson Jester wrote:
I play Gnomes as if they were Kender.

BURN HIM!


Snorter wrote:
Crimson Jester wrote:
I play Gnomes as if they were Kender.
BURN HIM!

fistbumps CJ

KENDER FOREVER!!!!!!!!!

Dark Archive

Kthulhu wrote:

With Paizo's re-write of gnomes, they're probably the MOST interesting PC race. Elves and dwarves are basically the same as they always have been.

I generally discount halflings altogether, because they've always been boring as hell. In 0E-2E, they were Bilbo Baggins, only without a cool artifact. In 3.X, they became a bland kender-lite race.

No disresrect to paizo. But their gnomes are creepy little troll dolls.

Liberty's Edge

Bitter Thorn wrote:
I may like them to some degree because they aren't popular. I might be a bit contrary.;)
Jeremy Mcgillan wrote:
Still doesn't change the fact they're annoying creepy little weirdos.

Alright! Mission accomplished!


Creepy little troll dolls bent on world domination Go Gnomes!!!

Dark Archive

Frostflame wrote:
Creepy little troll dolls bent on world domination Go Gnomes!!!

Never happen, world domination will always be out of their reach. (And yes that was a short joke)

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