790. Butting ahead in line in the Boneyard really isn't worth it.
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788. I will refrain from saying "Gesundheit" whenever someone mentions Hamatulatsu.
Gesundheit
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791. No matter how many problems it would solve, you are not allowed to burn down the Blakros Museum.
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792. No, the unicorn does not fart rainbows.
793. They do however, impale things they don't like with their horns.
794. Lucky for you, unicorns like virgins. Oh, Calistrian I see.
795. CR of encounters appear closer than in mirror.
796. No, you cannot make your phylactery a rock on the moon.
797. Chewing a breath mint will not negate the effect of a Hezrou's stench.
798. No rebuilds past level 1. You want to change your character's sex, it's 2,250 GP now for the elixir.
799. A Chernasardo Ranger's Armor totally protects their vital organs. It covers their chest and... chest...
800. Soylent Green isn't made of people. It's made of orcs.
801. Nobody uses orcs anymore. It's Ghorans all the way down.
801. Nobody uses orcs anymore. It's Ghorans all the way down.
802. Unless you're going for a Scarred Witch Doctor.
803. Your character will not stop a fight to roll little dice because 'that is how you fight'.
806. Not allowed to kill the witnesses and then excuse it by saying "DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES!" with a lousy and obnoxious pirate accent. That is the whole reason why Speak with Dead was made.
805. No, Iomedae is not voice by Bea Arthur.
Disagree
807. I canNOT serve two masters. It is either Mammon or my deity.
808. Despite all rumors to the contrary, I shall deny sleeping with the enemy at every opportunity.
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187. No the fifth archdaemon did not become a milkman. (kudos if you get that.)
Ronnie, the Fifth Rider of the Apokalyps, who left before they become famous in Terry Pratchett's Discworld (Thief of Time, I think)
*takes kudos and ran away*
RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32, 2010 Top 8
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811 I will not go into detail on my 'heart's desire' when fighting the female wishcaster
812 Even if I fail my save.
813 especially if I make my save.
814 I will not wait for the GM to total the damage before I remind him I have evasion, and made my save.
815 I will no longer sing "Hooked on evasion" when I make a reflex save
(All from a recent PFS scenario)
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816. Transsexuals have personality traits beyond "trans" and "sexual."
817. Even Arsheans have personality traits beyond "trans" and "sexual."
818. No, you cannot have a jackalope as a familiar. Wolpertingers on the other hand...
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822. You are not allowed to name your wizard Gandalf just so his battle cry can be "You shall not pass!"
823. Your wizard also can't be voice-acted by Ian McKellen.
824. Hobbits are not pathfinder halfings.
825. Not all magic rings are evil, insanely powerful artifacts bent on ruling the world.
826. No, you can't ride the giant eagles to the end of the campaign.
827. The BBEG does not have DR ∞/Women.
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829. The Prophets of Kalistrade do not wear white to make a simple fashion statement.
830. You are not allowed to make fun of the Prophets of Kalistrade for wearing white after Labor Day.
831. You are not allowed to glue wings onto the Prophets of Kalistrade to get them back into heaven.
832. You cannot "turn" the Prophets of Kalistrade. Nor will holy water hurt them. It will just make them wet and very irate.
8
824. Hobbits are not pathfinder halfings.
824a. More importantly, kender are not pathfinder halflings.
826. No, you can't ride the giant eagles to the end of the campaign.
Aww, why not? I've totally got the right spell for it!
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817. Even Arsheans have personality traits beyond "trans" and "sexual."
But, but... those are the two best things I've got! The beauty with which Arshea's blessed me transcends all mortal expectations! And I just can't help that second part... folks I meet just can't keep themselves off me!
Speaking of... that brings me to:
833. I will not cast unnatrual lust on the dragon, and designate the paladin of Irori as the target of his affection. And I probably shouldn't select myself as the target of his affection either.
834. Really, that spell's just not meant for things like dragons or demons, but sometimes you just have to, you know?
(Edit: fixing numbers because Dreaming Psion threw me off with his quotes!)
Aww, why not? I've totally got the right spell for it!
826. No, you can't ride the giant eagles to the end of the campaign.
That's actually pretty funny. Sorry... I was commenting on the whole "why didn't they just ride eagles to the end" discussion.
And why would you want to skip the adventure in a campaign anyway? I guess as a gm I wouldn't stop you from using/taking advantage of the spell... but I'm sorry I didn't mention the dragon and/or other evil/neutral flying creatures on your tail.
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835. I will not place a burning bag of dog s@+! on a demon's seal right before summoning it as a prank.
835. I will not wander around Andoran yelling "Howdy!" to everyone.
836. I will not try to make the Ulfen Guard laugh.
837. I will not try to "walk like an Osirian."
838. I will not accidentally refer to Qadira as "Calormen."
839. Not allowed to ask every Ulfen we come across why he/she is not wearing a horned helmet.
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841. If I come across a Hanspur baptimsal ceremony, I won't say "What is dead may never die" when they're done.
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842. The Unliving and Necromancer's Guild bylines clearly state that undead are not allowed behaviors that constitute Good Alignment.*
*Ghosts have an exemption because they're such emotional crybabies.
You are conflating your Pratchett apocalypse novels.187. No the fifth archdaemon did not become a milkman. (kudos if you get that.)Sounds like you've got some Omens there, Panguinslayer7. Good ones, assuredly.
Thats the reference? Discworld? That's pretty freaking funny. Actually... has anyone tried to play a pathfinder Discworld campaign?
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843. The party's Bard can't play "Rains of Castamere" during a noble wedding in the Kingmaker AP
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844. The party's Bard is certainly permitted to play that song during any wedding involving a Blakros.
842. The Unliving and Necromancer's Guild bylines clearly state that undead are not allowed behaviors that constitute Good Alignment.*
*Ghosts have an exemption because they're such emotional crybabies.
845. I am not allowed to point out the many exceptions (besides ghosts) to the "all undead are evil" rule.
846. Wizards, stop letting your hawk familiars have sex with other animals. The hippogriff and griffin are enough. Thank you and don't forget to spay and neuter your familiars!
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Thats the reference? Discworld? That's pretty freaking funny. Actually... has anyone tried to play a pathfinder Discworld campaign?You are conflating your Pratchett apocalypse novels.187. No the fifth archdaemon did not become a milkman. (kudos if you get that.)Sounds like you've got some Omens there, Panguinslayer7. Good ones, assuredly.
This was what Penguinslayer was referring to.
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This was what Penguinslayer was referring to.Thats the reference? Discworld? That's pretty freaking funny. Actually... has anyone tried to play a pathfinder Discworld campaign?You are conflating your Pratchett apocalypse novels.187. No the fifth archdaemon did not become a milkman. (kudos if you get that.)Sounds like you've got some Omens there, Panguinslayer7. Good ones, assuredly.
Wrong. The 5th Horseman is from Thief of Time.
Grievous Bodily Harm and his buddies aren't really horsemen.
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845. I am not allowed to point out the many exceptions (besides ghosts) to the "all undead are evil" rule.842. The Unliving and Necromancer's Guild bylines clearly state that undead are not allowed behaviors that constitute Good Alignment.*
*Ghosts have an exemption because they're such emotional crybabies.
847. Actually... I'm not allowed to point out any alignment exceptions.
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848. After the Tarrasque is pushed back into the Pit of Gormuz, not allowed to say, "Tarrasque go down the hole!"
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846. Wizards, stop letting your hawk familiars have sex with other animals. The hippogriff and griffin are enough. Thank you and don't forget to spay and neuter your familiars!
849. I will not provide my familiar with enough spare gold to afford a Regeneration spell.