This is disgusting. And awesome!
Wow! This is, in my oppinion, the best monster I`ve seen here.
I kinda got that "Darkman" feeling, if anyone have seen those movies. Desperately struggling to be human again, though his flesh always melds away in the end. Awesome, just awesome:)
You got my vote for a job well done:)
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See? Intellect devourer monster :)
However, this is a VERY well-conceived monster, and I can ignore the name. I like the creepiness of the creatures not entirely forgetting who they are - imagine running into someone you know who's turned into one of these. Blech!
All it needs is a rename, I think, there was some skin something-or-other in the Dragon that I picture whenever I see this name. Skinwalker, maybe? Some dude with a living cape.
Skinwalker, from <i>Dungeon</i> magazine, yeah. The guys with the macuahuitl-things. I had the same problem when I first saw the name.
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The description of your creature was very well executed and the ties to the I.D. were great but I was left feeling flat because I felt like I hd seen this monster before. There are at least three monsters who use the same skin stealing schtick in the Creature Collection series, and I really didn't see much here to distinguise these guys from a Skeletal Host, a Skin Devil, or a Skin Weaver. I was looking fosomething more, something different, and I did not find it.
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This is Awesome!
I am sorry I did not get this back in time to count, but I like the background and the ID Tie in. To be honest, I.D.'s are not my favorite monster. they are just hard to work into a campaign. This writeup makes an I.D. storyline interesting and the story practically writes itlself.
It totally disgusts me and makes me sympathetic at the same time.
I am not good at Constructive Critisism, but here goes.
It seems a little light on details. I would have liked a mention of whether this is a template monster (Probably), and whether it regenerated or just had fast healing when it healed itself. I love creatures with background, and this one has a great one, but a mention of why the I.D.s actually need these monsters to do infiltration work might be nice, as I <think> the ID's already can do that stuff. of course, ID's need minions to do thier dirty work without actually endangering the ID's themselves, and these monsters can be mass produced. <ICK>
Gross, Shapechanging Monsters are a dime a dozen, but this monster has a cool tie in, and a simpathetic bone to challenge the morals of a party. "No! please don't kill me! I am really the barmaid you met last week. Please help me!"
Killing bad monsters is Ho Hum. this one also chalenges a party Moraly.. I really like this monster. Without this monster, the ID is just another monster.
This monster makes them masterminds.
good Job
First of all, a big thank you to Bengaltiger, Trevor, Sander Skeie, dhamma, Aestic, gbonehead, Chef’s Slaad, catmandrake, Lief Clennon, Nicolas Quimby, Gorbacz, and the Earl of Sandwich!!! (I love the Earl’s messageboard name, heh)
I don’t want to hold anybody’s praise higher than anybody else’s, but I’m especially grateful for Lief and Nicolas’ support here.. as I’ve thought they’ve been great participants both as competition and in attitude.
Also heartfelt thanks to David Fryer, Dance of Ruin, Lukas Klausner, and Capt_kirstov. I regret I couldn’t capture your vote (or if I’m on the edge). I hear what you’re saying and wish I could respond. I can only ask that if I make it to the next Round you guys will give me another chance to get your attention.
As always, I look forward to when the gag order is lifted.
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Also heartfelt thanks to David Fryer, Dance of Ruin, Lukas Klausner, and Capt_kirstov. I regret I couldn’t capture your vote (or if I’m on the edge). I hear what you’re saying and wish I could respond. I can only ask that if I make it to the next Round you guys will give me another chance to get your attention.
Don't worry, I thought your Item was great. If you make it to the next round, I will judge your new submission without any prejudce from this round.
Sometimes I fear I don't understand what constitutes a Superstar monster, if only because my first impulse looking at this entry, was to think, "Haven't I seen you somewhere before?"
There's a skin stealing undead in African Adventures. I want to think one of the Swords & Sorcery Creature Collections had one. It reminds me of the Totenmaske from the Pathfinder Bestiary. Doesn't that warp flesh and steal skins/faces? (And someone's already brought up these examples or other ones.)
I don't know. Maybe I'm approaching this from the wrong angle. I mean, if it made it into the Bestiary, it would fill what's obviously a necessary and well-loved monster niche the PFRPG lacks (if we assume the Totenmaske isn't quite on base.) Boggards are a good example of a creature which does that, and I really dig them.
Reading the entry a second time, it is very well written, and it does connect with and expand an under-utilized OGL villain monster that's a potential big bad force in(literally) Golarion.
Still, and I apologize... it doesn't set me on fire.
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Skintaker
Bloody tendons and ligaments tightly wrap the body of this skeletal once humanoid monstrosity. Skintakers possess a glistening spinal cord attached to an exposed brain and lidless human eyes held aloft by nerves. Intellect devourers create these still-living slave aberrations from prisoners.
I both love and hate this monster.
My first reaction was a very visceral dislike for reasons that I seem unable to pin down. I wanted to know why so many people seemed to like this item, so I read through the posts.
I discovered, this monster has some real room for imagination. For example: How did I.D.'s come up with the idea to NOT eat their brains and create these things?
edit: and the Brave Little Intellect Devourer went back to his underground village and they were soooo proud of his new invention that they all made similar slaves to build a statue commemorating the occasion.
Thank you for your comments Sara Marie! I shall endevor to reply when it is appropriate for me to do so.
Drakli, no need to apologize. I wish I hadn't disappointed you this time, but I hope to recapture your imagination next round if I am so lucky. :D
Keep up the great work buddy.
Thank you Jester!
Please come back after the voting is closed for some follow up comments.
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Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 4, Legendary Games
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I like it, mostly because I love Intellect Devourers; always have since 1st Ed days. I'm not a huge fan of gross for grossness' sake, but these guys at least have a logical ecological reason for their disgusting insidey parts hanging out. The name... is not great, but I guess it's descriptive of what they do.
Alas, I'm not in mad love with the basic concept of the skin-stealing shape-shifter; maybe I've just seen too many. I mean, I should like it, because it's a perfectly logical extension of what ID's WOULD create as minions and mooks, it's nicely written, well organized. You spell out the creature's abilities about as explicitly as you can within the constraints of the round.
Overall: Very well done, and I could think of lots of ways to use them, but for whatever reason they just aren't tickling my fancy as well as some of the other monsters. With work of this quality, you should be fine getting through to the next round; hopefully I'll be digging your next go-round.
Contributor, RPG Superstar 2010 Top 8
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Jim,
I really think that this one is the one to beat this round!
I think it's got great execution and an engaging premise. By linking it to the story of a pre-existing monster you achieve resonance while also creating interest in something new.
Personally, I also like the pity angle. Creatures that lament their condition and either strive to be human (Frankenstein's Creature) or have become desicated versions of what used to be (Gollum) are spread throughout lit and I think this taps in.
Also, I like the fact that this might create a grey-area for players that might be physically powerful enough to overcome a skintaker, but will be left wondering if they should have, or if there wasn't some way to save or redeem it. For me, that hits at some of the things I like most about gaming.
I mean, yeah, rolling that natural 20 with a flaming burst great-axe IS awesome, but it doesn't always leave the same lasting impression as a good story.
Seriously, well done. I think you've made this round harder to qualify for and I don't mind!
-QGJ
This one is one of my favorites. I'm a sucker for a villain with a back story. I love when there's motivation behind badness, not necessarily two-dimensional badness for its own sake. This monster has it all - a hint of the gross, it's memorable, you can make an encounter or an adventure around it... Love! I'm fairly new to gaming, so I'm not as up on rules and stats, so I can't comment as to how well it's written with respect to statistics. But in terms of evocative writing, I keep visualizing this monster and getting excited about it.
It doesn't hurt that Watcher's comments are super classy, too...
@ Jeff and Jesse, thank you for your feedback guys! That means a lot to me.
It is also meaningful because the common wisdom this morning says that we shouldn't be commenting on each other's stuff. I've done it a lot, now you've done it. This morning finds me somewhat wracked with doubt that I've cost myself votes by doing it. Then I come here and find you guys have given me something to smile about. That's awesome.
I'm not sure I'm going to be commenting outside of my own threads any more past this point, which part of me does consider a loss (though a loss for exactly who is debatable). On the other hand, one can interpret the reason of the forum threads to be for the audience and not the participants. I just don't know. I'd really like to continue to advance in the contest, and if some compromises are necessary, like posting less out of concern of public reaction, then I suppose that is just the way it is.
What I *do* know is that I admire people who continue to be themselves, no matter what. You've both demonstrated that quality.
As for me, I may stop posting in other contestants threads but I'm not going to stop thanking people in my own thread. That's who I am or at least who I *want* to be, and I'm not giving that up.
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@ Jason Nelson! If you ever had any doubts that your reviews weren't appreciated then let those doubts be dispelled today. I've actually been waiting for *you* to get around to me. Honestly.
I appreciate your positive comments as well what held you back, and wished I'd sealed the deal for your vote. That doesn't mean I'm not going to try harder next time. If there's a next time, because I'm not assuming!
Please come back after the voting has ended, when I do a Post-Vote debrief!
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It doesn't hurt that Watcher's comments are super classy, too...
How could I possibly not say 'thank you' to remark like this?!? Being cool be damned. :D
Dear lady, you picked me back up at a moment when I was feeling a little discouraged. I wish I could say more than just "I appreciate it" or "thank you" but the rules don't allow me to say much more. I hope I can inspire you again next Round!
You got my vote. (And I'd recommend the compromise be that you write comments after voting has closed. If you feel like you have to say something, write it down and save it. Alternatively, talking in the lodge for contestants can help get you through. Alternatively, as a college teacher, I've found that I best survive reading course evaluations by having my girlfriend read the comments aloud after I've had a belt or two of hard alcohol.)
I'm not sure I'm going to be commenting outside of my own threads any more past this point, which part of me does consider a loss (though a loss for exactly who is debatable). On the other hand, one can interpret the reason of the forum threads to be for the audience and not the participants. I just don't know. I'd really like to continue to advance in the contest, and if some compromises are necessary, like posting less out of concern of public reaction, then I suppose that is just the way it is.
but... I like reading your comments. I know it's a fine line between supporting your fellow participants and shooting yourself in the foot. You just have to be carefull what you post. You can comment on your design decisions after voting is over, which is only a few more days away anyway. In the mean time, get cracking on your monster's stat block!
edit: what the mouse said. +1
Very well written. Cool idea. Definately a new spin on a few different older ideas. I agree that it fits a need. It would be a threat to the characters and is more than just a punching bag for a hack and slash campaign.
I like it. It's not one of my top choices, yet, but I haven't finished reading them all and am reserving my votes until the end.
Ken
Nicely done. A Silence of the Lambs reference.
Jim: I’m jealous, but not in a “sour grapes” kind of way. Paizo said this year’s round 1 was going to be a surprise, and I suspected that it would be a monster. If I had advanced, I swear to Lamashtu (goddess of monsters) I was going to create a critter with an I.D. tie-in. So I’m jealous that you beat me to the punch. However, I’m man enough to admit that your monster has more mojo than mine would have had. My baddies wern't nearly as cool as this. So in consideration, I'm glad you advanced. Well done sir. I am going to study your every move from now on, and hopefully learn a thing or two.
To those who say “it’s been done before”: Yes, perhaps creatures that take your skin exist elsewhere, but they don’t exist in Pathfinder. That’s what this contest is about, creating something for use with Pathfinder. This is a niche that deserves to be filled. If we started limiting the monsters to completely new ideas, then we wouldn't have angels, demons, devils, dragons, giants, goblins, golems, human-animal half-breeds, undead, etc. The bestiary probably wouldn't even exist. I say again, the idea may have been done before, but not for this game. That's all that should matter.
Still more to read, but I strongly suspect that you have one of my votes.
Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8
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How did the author respond to the challenge? Addresses the necessary rules without parroting them. Intellect devourer enclaves might be a Golarion reference, though it's borderline.
How does it stack up
- as an opponent? I don't have a clear picture of how they fight or what, if any, interesting tactics they employ, apart from bony claws.
- as something other than an opponent? Creation and interaction with players are very well described.
- in relation to other monsters? They sit at an interesting juncture between several monster types, though their role as hateful shapechangers fits other existing creatures. Stepping outside the game for a minute, if the author hasn't read "The Hellbound Heart", it's an awfully close resemblance, not that I'm saying that would be wrong.
- in relation to the author's item? Not much to say here. They're very different.
- in itself? Very evocative development of their nature and the quandaries of fighting them. I don't know if it quite gets there as a well-rounded element of an adventure.
Interesting, but at this stage it's not at a level where I'd bump others to vote for it.
Praise:
This is an interesting take on undead, and feeds into a hierarchical structure for monsters that I really like. I can see these as lieutenants in a lich's army, establishing the front lines and striking the first blow. I might separate it from it's alien origins, and make it more setting and genre neutral. They are driven, cruel, and with the use of weapons and armor, would make both great, adaptable villains and solid encounters.
Concerns:
This thing is really really gross, but is pretty simple and reminds me too much of the things from Mars Attacks(ACK ACK ACK!). I feel like they have an exalted purpose in a simple form, and might have some problems with identity and role. I also don't like the reference to another creature that seems to imply required knowledge, though not overtly.
Overall:
I'll start out by saying I am not a fan of alien origins, or origins that require the knowledge of a creature that is not iconic. This would seem to require the presence of intellect devourers in your campaign world, and that is a limitation. That said, the writing is there, and the creature is pretty neat. I see some cool roles for this creature, as more than just a random encounter.
Praise:
This is an interesting take on undead, a...
...So, as a GM, I'm all for a new undead in my bag of tricks to use aginst my players...
Ummm. I think this an aberration. I mention this because a couple of people have said something about undead...Third sentence in:
Intellect devourers create these still-living slave aberrations from prisoners.
-Ben.
This is the first monster I've read (I'm about half way through the entries) that I can say has my firm vote. No questions. No thinking about it. It is as simple as that.
Praise:
This is an interesting take on undead, a......So, as a GM, I'm all for a new undead in my bag of tricks to use aginst my players...Ummm. I think this an aberration. I mention this because a couple of people have said something about undead...Third sentence in:
Intellect devourers create these still-living slave aberrations from prisoners.-Ben.
Hrm I think the word aberration can legally be used for it's real world connotation without defining a subtype. That said, these are made by aliens so who knows, but it seems like a formerly living creature, so I would say undead. Aberrations are typically creatures that defy placement in another category. This seems to fit snugly in the category of "living dead". That said, the definition of aberration...
"An aberration has a bizarre anatomy, strange abilities, an alien mindset, or any combination of the three." via wizards.com
Additionally,
"Aberrations eat, sleep, and breathe." via wizards.com
Essentially, aberrations seems to encompass living creatures that avoid other categories. The phrase "still-living" in it's description might be an attempt to remove it from the Undead category, but could set a dangerous precedent for future "undead-but-not" creatures.
Where do you get the idea that this thing has died and then been brought back to life with negative energy? I don't think that was the author's intent at all.
Yes, in the REAL world a creature with exposed brains and not much else couldn't be alive, but (to swing around a tired line) this is fantasy, and the creatures who make them have vast supernatural powers.
Very, nice Watcher. I think that you already have a lot of support from your fans on the boards and you didn't let them down. This is a solid concept and it makes me want to know more about the stats this baddy has and what it can actually do. Good Luck in the next round, I think you'll be there!
Skintaker
Skintaker. The name is the concept here. It's not a new concept after all, but you manage to do something new and nifty with it.
Like many others I love the intellect devourer angle. They didn't go well with any other monster before, now they have found a great counterpart. Now they can find their way into my campaign.I love that they are neither undead nor mindless, but still have free will and are basically what they were before in a new, gross shape.
This is more creative and has more tilt than most of the other entires, while being well designed. Actually I don't find a bad thing to say about these, except that I think that you could have done even better. More creative, more tilt.
The Skintakers resonate really well with me, but fail to really inspire me. I see their potential, but it remains partially unused. I can easily imagine using them, but they don't give me ideas on how to use them.
I'm (strongly) consdering this for a vote. But even if you don't get it I'm pretty sure you'll be in round 3. The Skintakers are great.
Director of Brand Strategy
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Great entry, Jim! These are certainly gross, but not so much that I'd worry about using them in a campaign with kids or squeamish players. Their physical description and role tie in very nicely with their intellect devourer masters, without stepping on their toes—er, probisci, probiscuses. They're a great minion for a higher level beast that doesn't get a lot of play, so it would be easy enough to throw these in a low-level adventure as a foreshadowing for the master-minds behind a larger plot. Well done!
This gets my vote - nasty creatures that you also feel pity for. Also - as it has been said before - it fullfills a role that allows a GM to set a plot in motion with the intellect devourer monster.
Good luck!
"Skintaker"
"Bloody tendons and ligaments tightly wrap the body of this skeletal once humanoid monstrosity."
"Intellect devourers create these ... slave aberrations from prisoners"
"Underground they perform manual labor"
"(they are) often dispatched to infiltrate well-populated civilized areas."
"Cunning and capable of stealing the material necessary to temporarily refashion their original forms, skintakers create ...""
"skintakers create secret networks and kidnap ... for their alien masters."
"Some keep captives of their own"
"Skintakers strip away blood and sinew with a touch"
"a skintaker experiences the physical sensations"
"Skintakers may also reconstitute into the form of a humanoid they recently fed upon, limited to their own size"
"Skintakers ... utilize weapons and light armor when reconstituted"
No apologies necessary Firehawk! I will elaborate when allowed to do so by the rules. Thank you for your detailed review.
Yoda, I am overjoyed with your endorsement. :D Same to Panda40, Andrew Black, lojakz, Derrick Thomas, Chef's Slaad, and roguerogue!
And to Montalve: it is not for me to judge your beloved cleric. ;-) Glad you enjoyed it and I hope you consider voting for me
Jason Rice: This can only mean that Great Minds Think Alike!
To Azmahel, Caith, Ken Cole, and Starglim: Thank you for your honest appraisals. I hope you know that I check every few hours for you regular reviewers to come by my entry. Know that I was waiting for all of you. You spend a lot of your time unselfishly giving us your feedback and none of us take that for granted. I realized that you liked parts of my entry but didn't like other aspects of it, so I hope you'll stop by after the voting is closed for some discussion on all the collective feedback. In any case, you have made me a stronger contestant next round by showing me where I could do better.
And even now I'm waiting for Eric Norton, varianor, Dennis, and a few others to make their rounds.
To everyone out there: please vote for me so that I can continue to advance! I know the exit polls look favorable, but I don't take one single vote for granted. Every vote is appreciated. THANK YOU!
This thing is creepy as hell. It's got a kind of Invasion of the Body Snatchers feel to it while at the same time being a little humane. The added intelligence exploits my fear of smart zombies, too (which, may not grant you points with the JUDGES but definitely scares the pants off me).
Even worse than FIGHTING one would be SEEING it do its dirty work. As a DM, to describe to my players as they round the wrong corner at the wrong time to watch the town's "serial killer" they've been hunting strike again only to then either enter combat or watch it flee would be a real treat. Man, the adventures practically write themselves!
I also love how it can tie into a greater type of creature (namely, the intellect devourers) and how it could be incorporated into a larger campaign with very little problem. Very cool. Allows for a kind of internal "In case of smart PC, break glass" kind of aspect, too. Even if there's a class or particularly smart player who finds a way to kill off one or two of these things at a lower level, once you've gotten to mid or higher and track the Intellect Devourers to their lair in the sewers then you find TEN of these things to fight! Take that!
Well done.
RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32, 2011 Top 16
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Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka JoelF847
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While I like the tie in to the ID, and the abiility to use the skintakers as a lower CR way to get IDs into the gamne, if you strip away that link and flavor, the monster alone leaves me a bit flat. It's essentially a doppleganger that steals skin instead of transforms its own. It even has telepathy, which could include detect thoughts like a doppleganger.
That similarity is somewhat forgiven based on the ID link, but when you consider that, in too many ways the skintaker seems to be the same as the ID itself. It kills people and takes over their outward form, has the same defenses and abilities, just a different flavor text way of getting there. Based on this, it makes me wonder why you need the skintakers at all. Just use young/small IDs and the fill the exact same role in the game. Generally, a servitor monster fills some other role that supplements the base monster, but doesn't duplicate it. For example, skum serve aboleths as manual labor/grunts, while the aboleth are the brains of the operation and use weird arcane powers and illusion.
I can see a place for the skin takers in a bestiary, but don't feel there's enough new mechanically in them to be in the top 4 for RPG Superstar. If I had more votes, I might have given one to you, since I can see you have talent, so I do hope to see you in R3 (which looks likely based on other comments).
Skintaker
cut for space
This is the thirty-first monster that I am looking at. I do not read the comments below the entry before posting my opinion. An apology if this duplicates someone else’s entry, in part or whole.
Bloody tendons and ligaments…oh no. Not another one. Okay, let’s give it a fair shake! Glistening spinal cord, exposed brain, and eyeless held aloft by nerves. Yah. That’s just weird enough. Oh. They serve the intellect devourers. Interesting. I find that actually justifies them a bit. I like the cruel promise that their even more alien overlords hold over them.
Powers:
*strip away blood and sinew with a touch (yuck – so how exactly do they do damage?)
*experiences sensations and pleasures they desire (not exactly a power)
*gets disguises from the false tissue (sure)
*feign death when they’re hurt (I find that interesting actually – tough to pull off mechanically, but bold)
*flesh melts over time (now with chocolate syrup!)
*form of – a humanoid! (cool)
*telepathy (mm-kay)
*resist weapons and elemental damage (because??? Oh wait, like their creators. That works.)
*boney claws or weapons and armor when reconstituted (mm-kay)
Summary: These are so much more than just skin-takers. These things flense people for a living! I mean, whoa. Horror monster if there was one. Right down to the melting flesh and the disguise. Okay. That gives me a pause. I need to reread these on lunch tomorrow when I make my final decisions. You’ve got me wanting to see more of them. But for the tie-in, I suspect that I would fully reject these. Interesting how history and tradition helps out eh?
Like many people, I like the niche you found with this monster. I'd almost forgotten about intellect devourers before you submitted this. But that same niche also makes it hard to find a place for these guys in a campaign that doesn't include the ID. If you don't have them, you may as well use doppelgangers.
Their motivation to be whole again is great, and I do almost feel pity for them. I suppose in an ID-free game they could show up as runaways looking for a cure on their own, but I'm not sure what other roles they could play.
Regardless of that, I like what you've created here.
Does it grab me visually: Oh, god, yes it does. This is disgusting and pathetic. I love that they gain vitality from the stolen skin. I love that the process may be reversible. I love that the stolen flesh erodes over time. This one is stuck in my brain.
Would I use it in game: Yes. I’m already trying to work these guys in. I’m a fan of intellect devourers, so I like a lower level into to them. While I don’t really need more horrific creatures that masquerade as humanoids, I love that the disguise is far from perfect.
Would my players enjoy an encounter with it: Yes. And the story that comes with the creature pretty much guarantees that my players will hunt down the intellect devourers to make things right.
Thanks for voting folks!
Tomorrow, before the reveal (and now that voting is closed), I'll talk about these critters a little!
Can't wait to hear your thoughts Jim. You're on my shortlist for this year's grand prize.