Aura moderate enchantment and transmutation; CL 7th
Slot shoulders; Price 10,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Outwardly, the Muse of the Solemn Vessel is a simple, though beautiful mantle made of blue cashmere. However, adorning the inside of the mantle’s collar is the image of three silver nymphs, positioned as though they whisper secrets to the wearer. One of nine mantles of the muse, the Muse of the Solemn Vessel’s providence is that of the musical voice.
Three times per day, the wearer may call upon the insight of the muses. She may gain a +5 bonus on any Perform (Sing) check; make an aid another action as a swift action; or if the wearer is a bard, she may call upon the full power of the mantle to perform the Aria of Sorrows.
The Aria of Sorrows is a bardic performance that affects all allies within 30’ who are willing and able to hear the bard. All those affected are given the benefits of Sanctuary (as per the spell, with a DC of 10 + 1/2 the bard’s level + the bard’s Cha modifier). Should someone affected by the spell break it by attacking, the effect of the performance is broken for all those benefiting from it. Maintaining the Aria of Sorrows is the same as a regular bardic performance, the use of the Muse of the Mantle is only required to start it.
Requirements Bardic Performance ability, enthrall, haste; Cost 5,000 gp
Boy this seems like a nice tight well designed item. I like it.
I'm inclined to keep.
Guys?
It's smart enough to use bardic performance (and the bard's ability continues the item). And it's a new effect for bardic performance.
I personally don't think people would use sanctuary too often, but it's smart design.
Keep!
I really like that they're playing with the new types of bardic performance rules. Sold.
Keep.
This is a well-designed, tightly-themed item. Even if you're not a bard, the mantle grants a +5 bonus on Perform (sing) checks -- which I assume is a competence bonus, of course -- and the ability to pull off an Aid Another action as a swift action. That latter bit isn't to be underestimated, but I'm not 100% sure I would value it at 10,000 gp. Seems a bit pricey. Granted, if you're a bard, the item unlocks the much more potent ability with the aria of sorrows, but even that only allows for a mass sanctuary effect. I'm not sure how many PCs would be beating down the door to spend their gold on this item when they could purchase far more powerful gear instead.
Nevertheless, I really like the presentation. You nailed the use of the template. Your item concept is sound. And you've alluded to multiple muses with different themed performance-enhancing abilities as flavor. And lastly, you've delved into using one of the new Pathfinder rules related to bards. That's Superstar mojo and ingenuity at work.
So, welcome to the ranks of RPG Superstar! You've certainly earned your way into the competition. And, if you can continue producing material with this degree of professional polish, you should be well-positioned to go far. Let's see what you've got next! And best of luck!
RPG Superstar 2009 Top 4
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Star Voter Season 6
aka raidou
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I think a willingness to tinker with additional bard abilities is a good core theme for an item. I'm glad you gave it a try. Despite its limited use, a Sanctuary effect is very good one for a bard to have. It's about forcing a will save to be able to attack, which is in-line with other stuff a bard is built to do.
Is it worth 10K gold? Probably not, but cost is merely one factor in the competition. In this case, you came up with a good core idea and blended related abilities into a tight design.
If there's one thing about this item that strikes me as a little jarring is that you're straddling the line between a magic item that someone can actually create, and a unique "named" item, like an artifact or relic. You state right up front that this is a named item, part of a set and this one is dedicated to the muse of voice. I may be misremembering, but I think people got grilled for this in the past.
But regardless, you're in! And I do like the item, after all. Best of luck in the rounds ahead and welcome to the competition!
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This is the kind of item that proves to me I have a long way to go in designing. I absolutely love this item! Sure, I think it's a little over-priced, but having said that, I can't think of a Bard that wouldn't want this item. And I can totally imagine a series of items that work for the other forms of Perform checks. Perhaps a mask for Act, a viola or lyre for String Instruments, etc, etc.
I'm a big fan of the Bard class (and all the other skill-focused classes), especially the Pathfinder one, so this item is a big win for me. It completely plays to the Bard's strengths - supporting the other member's of your party so they can do their jobs. Combine this item with a Bard's other abilities, and you've got some gaming greatness just waiting to happen. Mid-combat, you can pull this trick out, giving the group some breathing room in order to be more able to handle the current situation.
This item is in my top 5. Keep this up in the following rounds, and congrats on being a Superstar!
Agreed that this is over-costed, but I really like it. Going through these in the order they're listed (so this is #3), but a comment was made before the Big Reveal that one of the top 32 made the Paizo folks think about having a whole suite of such items for the APG... I hope it was this one!
I dunno about it being overcosted, at least by the RAW; skill bonuses are pretty expensive.
Of the items I've seen so far (a whole three at this point--woo!), this is my favorite. The mechanics are tight, the flavor is solid, and there's the worldbuilding hint of the other eight muses out there. It might be some of Clark's supposedly-hated flavor text, but it's really nice flavor text. Opens up a bunch of possibilities.
I will be watching your career on RPG Superstar with great interest.
Thank you judges and everyone who has commented so far! I'm very glad that I waited until after work ended to check on the results of the contest, because as soon as I saw my name I gave a big whoop that resounded across the building.
I've wanted to participate in RPG Superstar all three years so far and this year I almost backed out again after deciding all of my ideas were foolish. I read Clark's 'Just Do It' thread the night before the 1st round's deadline ended and resolved to work on all three of my ideas, finally choosing this one.
There's been a lot of great, constructive advice so far-please keep it coming! Bards are one of my favorite classes and I've really liked what Pathfinder has done to the class (Versatile Performance is pretty awesome, as are the changes made to Bardic Knowledge). And Lief Clennon, I didn't catch what they said about an item suite, but I would love to write more on the brothers and sisters of my item! The other perform subtypes don't really get much love in D&D and they really deserve some unique performance abilities.
Thanks again, if you don't see me around the boards much these next few days it's because I'm merrily toiling away for Round 2!
Contributor, RPG Superstar 2010 Top 16
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Andrew,
Congratulations on getting into the Top 32!
This is a nice bard themed item that ties in well to the new Pathfinder mechanics. The flavor of the item is interesting and flavorful.
I look at items from three angles,
Seems to pass the first and last tests but I'm not entirely sold on whether my player's would get much use out of the key ability.
I look forward to seeing your entries in the later rounds, good luck!
Andrew let me add my voice to the accolades and kudos on a job well done. I'm somewhat familiar with the Muses of Greek Mythology and I would personally love to know more about this item's brothers and sisters (although weren't the Muses all female?) ;)
I have a PC bard/harrower who would probably enjoy using this item.
Anxious to see what monster mojo you cook up.
Regards,
Dean; The_Minstrel_Wyrm
RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32, 2011 Top 16
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Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka JoelF847
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Andrew, great job making the top 32! I like your item quite a bit. Not only does it give a new, thematically appropriate bardic performance, but I like the swift action aid another ability. I'm not entirely sure how that fits with the item's other powers, but it's definately a cool ability (I think I like it better than the Aria itself.) Skill bonuses to perform skills are particulaly nice for bards due to versatile performance, and the core book has none, so this fills that gap as well. With only being usable 3 times per day, I think it's overpriced. If this were a constant item, or at least had the skill bonus constant, the swift aid 3/day, and the bardic Aria limited by the bard's # of rounds of performance, it would be more appropriately priced I think.
Finally, I like the reference to it being one of a set of 9 related items - I presume that each one is tied to a different perform sub-skills, and would like to see all 9 detailed in a book that expanded the bard themed magic items out there.
VeryCool. I like that you made an item specific to the Bard who dosn't ge enough love. Good Luck on the next round.
Well written, tightly designed, inovative. Overall a superior item.
I love the muses whispering in the wearer's ear. you sold me right there.
God job.
Hey there everyone! I'm coming down a little bit down from the cloud I was on yesterday, and having made some progress with some monsters I've given myself a lil bit of a break from wrestling with my own muse.
Thanks again everyone for all your comments, I really appreciate them. I don't know if y'all are still reading but I figured it'd be polite to respond!
Neil Spicer: Off-topic, but thanks very much for all the advice threads you've written! I've been following them and am trying to utilize your experience. And I'm not sure if calling my item 'sound' is a punor not, but I liked it nonetheless =). The bonus was priced as a competence bonus, though I was tempted to make it a smaller, insight bonus. Pricing was also tricky, as there was little precedent for adding what was basically a class ability onto an item. 10,000 gp was around the ballpark of other magic items I felt were similar in usefulness, though as a DM I tend to overprice rather than underprice.
Eric Bailey: Thanks for your comment! Pricing was something I was worried about, and while the item would probably not be purchased by everyone I hoped to make it a tempting choice for a bard. While the name of the item sounds somewhat mythical, I don't see it as a unique item. I'd chalk it up as bards simply wanting to give cool-sounding names to their equipment ;-)
PsionicFox: Great to see another bard fan around! And don't get down on yourself, everyone has their specialties and each round tests different areas. I'd like to think of myself as having a good grasp with mechanics/crunch, though this next round will be difficult for me as writing description/fluff is not a strong point-but maybe it would be for you. Most of all, I'm glad that the line about the other muses brought ideas of your own into mind. You've given me a high compliment and I really appreciate it, please do follow my work in the following rounds, I hope I won't disappoint!
Lief Clennon: Congrats yourself for getting into the top 32 this year! I've only now had the time to look through everyone's items (and none yet to comment!), but I was really impressed with the imagination and evocative image yours has. I hope we both progress in the future rounds so we can show the world what we've got!
Demiurge1138: Thank you very much for your comment. I'd like to think the muse is around the right ballpark as far as price goes, but I know as a DM I tend to price my items over rather than under. Thank you for your support and please keep commenting on my material in future rounds =)
Dennis Baker: I think I've seen your test before, either posted on the general boards or from years previous and it's a good one. I made a trio of items before submitting into this contest and I was really worried about finding #2, a target audience. I tried to narrow down my focus more, and while I don't think every PC would want this item I'd like to think that most bards would pick up either this item or one of it's sisters. Thanks for weighing in, please continue to do so in future rounds!
The_Minstrel_Wurm: I would expect nothing less from a fellow poster with the word 'Minstrel' in their name! Thank you for your support, you are definitely right on calling the other items in the set 'sisters' =) Where is this 'Harrower' class from, by the way? I imagine it's related to the Curse of the Crimson Throne campaign, but I've yet had a chance to run or play the path. How's your group been taking to it?
Joel Flank: Pricing was a really difficult question as I couldn't find very many other items that added what was essentially a class feature. I think your last suggestion was the one I would go with if I submitted the item today. And funny you would like to see those 9 items, I completely coincidentally would love to write about them ;-)
Andrew Black: Thanks very much, I'll need all the luck I can get! Please keep an eye out for my stuff, I'll try not to disappoint.
Carl Falherty: Thanks! Out of the three items I came up with, I felt this one was the most solid. The others were wayyy too kooky in my attempts at being innovative. I'm glad something more cohesive came out of all that chaos.
Chef's Slaad: Thank you. I'm really glad that the image worked, it was hard for me to describe without being confusing. Keep posting, good to hear from you!
Reckless: Thanks for your comment, though I'm sorry my item didn't sing to you nor inspire you to sing ;-) Critique and nitpick away, I very much welcome it. Naming items, spells, NPCs is something I especially have difficulty with as a DM, most of the time it's a lot easier for me to come up with mechanics than flavor.
James Martin: Thank you for commenting! I've got a few ideas for other items in the set, because as much love as bards don't get, poor Perform (Dance) or (Oratory) folks get even less love. Keep on stopping by in future rounds, I appreciate it.
Charles Evans 25: Thank you, a highly critical post! You have quite the reputation around the Pathfinder Adventure Path board section for being an astute reader who's unafraid to voice strong opinions. I can tell that you've put much thought into your response and I appreciate it. I think I'm allowed to respond for clarity since there's no voting this round, so I'll try.
-The 'Solemn Vessel' part of the name is referring to the musical voice, but I can see why that's not particularly clear. If it were in a magic item compendium, it might be more understandable if it was one of nine items under the heading 'Mantles of the Muses'.
-I'm not sure about Paizo's pronoun usage, but I did look to shoulder items in the Pathfinder SRD for guidance. But I am familiar with Lem, he's a cool guy ;-)
-I mean for the item to be used by the type of performance it's related to (Singing), but I can see how that isn't specified. Thanks for bringing this up. There are supposed to be 8 other Mantles of the Muse, for the other performance types.
-The rules for audible/visual performances are listed under the Bard's bardic performance ability and handle deaf bards and similar. The default word Pathfinder uses for allies to receive the effects of bardic performances is if they 'perceive' it. Since I meant this ability to be used specifically for singing bards I used the word 'hear'. Like the regular sanctuary spell, only recipients of the spell need to be effected for the ability to work.
Hope this answers your questions! Thank you once again.
Benjamin Bruck: Thanks for your comment, I'm glad that this item inspires you! For what it's worth, I'm not much of a singin' bard man myself. I like the other uses of comedy, such as Perform (Comedy) or (Dance), and if I finished writing up the other sisters of this item I'd try to make each of those just as interesting. Keep on posting in future rounds, look forward to hearing from you!
Whew! That took a little longer than I thought, I'll be off again to write some monsters. Keep up the comments guys, they're much appreciated!
I like this item!
It's a very elegant and well-thought out design. Your rules-fu is really showing through here. Bards are probably my least favorite character to play, but now you've got me almost...almost interested. Kudos and good luck!
This is a neat item. I like the mechanics and, if I was playing a bard, I would totally appreciate finding this item. The actual name of the item sounds great, but the name worked into the item is really bothering me.
There is a Castlevania game named Aria of Sorrow. The fact that it's the exact name leads me to question if you ripped this from the title of that game and/or if you took anything else from that game. You may have no knowledge of this Castlevania game but it does exist. My advice for future rounds would be to toss names and titles into Google real quick. It takes 5 seconds and you can see if there is something out there with the same/similar name.
Other than that, congratulations on making it through!
Tom Phillips: Thanks! I do consider myself more of a rules-fu guy, which can make for an interesting item but this next round will be pretty challenging. Hopefully in the future I can tempt you with other bard items so you'll give the class a try ;-) It's not a class for everyone but I think most people would enjoy it for at least a little while.
taig: Bards are awesome, so they get more items ;-). Thanks for your comment, I hope to not disappoint next round!
Minorelementx: Ack, I definitely did not realize that. I googled both Muse of the Solemn Vessel and Mantle of the Muse as a check, but forgot to on the ability. The name must have filtered from my subconscious because I'm a huge video game nerd, though I've only played the original Castlevania on NES.
After I turned in the item I did notice that the name of the ability didn't quite fit, and if I were to name it again it would be the Aria of Solitude. Thanks for both the advice and for catching this!
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Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 4, Legendary Games
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I like it! Nice, evocatively described, just the perfect amount of light background to suggest a lot without having to say a lot. The effect is nice, well tied in with bardic performance, and can be useful. It's the kind of item that's not for everybody (and I'm noticing, lots of bard-friendly items this year), but a good idea well executed. Good job!
Hi there Andrew,
The Harrower PrC is from the Pathfinder Chronicles Campaign Setting.
The only woman in my game group wanted to play a bard character and utilize the Harrow deck I got for her, in the game. So, I made her a Bard 7/Harrower 2 (she has since advanced to Bard 9/Harrower 2).
Although I have tried to GM "Curse of the Crimson Throne" twice... that's not the game I'm currently running for my Monday night group... I got them involved in the latter half of "Legacy of Fire". Nearly finished with part 5... we begin level "E" this coming Monday.
Sorry about the "near" thread-jacking... this thread is about you and your item. ;)
But, that's the character (and player) who would most likely enjoy your item... as well as its "sister" items... y'know... should they ever be discovered. ;)
Dean; The_Minstrel_Wyrm
Bard item. You've got my attention already. A nice trio of abilities that highlight what a bard excels at, performing and helping allies. You've giving an interesting description, and you've made me want to see the other items in the set.
Very nice job! Looking forward to your monster.
TM
:::gives the RPG Superstar 2010 bard item club secret handshake:::
Yeah, so bards have been my favorites ever since 1st edition. I remember getting all pissy at one summer camp where the counselor running a game wouldn't let me play a bard because he didn't like them. So I am very glad they're getting lots of love in this year's contest. The fun thing is that both this and the lyre of truthtelling do something I never even thought of- toss on another whole use for bardic performance. That's fantastic thinking, and I'm slapping myself upside the head for not having thought of it myself.
As for the muse itself, even outside my gut reaction of 'bard item! shiny!' I still like it a lot. The description is superb, and the non-bard specific uses are decent enough that it's not worthless. As for the bard use, Sanctuary is definitely a nice, if situational, ability for a bard to have, and the fact that it's a mass sanctuary, AND that unlike the spell itself it scales with the bard's level means it keeps being useful long after the party cleric has stopped bothering to memorize it. I don't think 10K gold is too much to shell out for this at all. My only issue is with the name 'aria of sorrows' not really matching up with the effect, but that's minor at best and your suggested change to 'aria of solitude' is spot on. I like this a lot. Congrats.
:::hey, mine's sort of a bard item too! /tries to learn handshake by watching:::
This is good stuff. I'd really like to see the rest of these items. Other than the names (the most minor of quibbles) everything is pretty much spot on. Excellent flavor and solid mechanics (except, you didn't list Craft Wondrous Item as a prereq).
If your monster is anything like this, you'll sail into the next round. Good luck!
Also: Missouri boys represent!
:::hey, mine's sort of a bard item too! /tries to learn handshake by watching:::
Yeah, you're in the club too. No worries. :-) Just haven't gotten down to yours yet; I'm slow and going in alphabetical order.
Last post before round 2 starts up! I'm sure with most of the contestants but it's definitely a combination of nervousness and excitement. I took a gamble with my monster and I'm not sure how the judges will receive it-but I hope you all will like it!
Continuing on,
Jason Nelson: Thanks, that means a lot coming from you. I probably followed 08's RPG Superstar more closely than 09's and can't imagine how much harder it was-at least now everyone can look back on previous years for guesses to what the judges/public want to see. I was surprised by the amount of similar bard items as well, but I'm just glad to see the class getting some much needed lovin' =)
Patrick Walsh: I was always interested in Greek mythology from a young age and I was worried about getting this item 'right'. I'm really glad to hear it resonates well with someone familiar with the stories. I hope to impress in any future rounds I can compete in!
Valemorgan: Thank you. I was definitely trying to create a solid, if not flashy item when I created the muse (ironic statement, no? ^_^). Funny you should mention my campaign, I don't know where yours or my player's name ideas came from, but the ranger PC's island kingdom is named Valmorgan! It's a weird coincidence, is there a meaning behind your screen name? I know that particular player is a fan of many different languages (I definitely asked for his help in naming my monster, lol).
The_Minstrel_Wyrm: Don't worry about thread-jacking, this competition is all for fun/gaming anyways =) I'll have to check out that PrC, anything related to harrowing gets an A in my book. Congrats on what sounds to be a successful LoF campaign! I just pitched the idea to a group of friends the other day when one asked me if there were any D&D adventures in the City of Brass. How has that adventure path been treating you?
Eric Hindley: Thank you! I still haven't gotten around to commenting on other superstar's works, but I wanted to say that your hourglass instantly gave me some cool ideas upon reading it. Open-ended items like that really bring out the creative mind, and I'm glad I got to see your item advance!
Tobias Mullen: Thanks! As i said to Eric, I'm sorry I haven't gotten to commenting on your item yet, but have already thought about using it for a particular villain in my next campaign. Thanks!
Sean McGowen: *Returns the secret handshake awkwardly, singing odd intervals in between gestures* Glad to see more bard fans popping up! Your cacophonous monkey definitely has one of the coolest visuals in this competition, I'll definitely have to show my bard PC the little monkey whenever we have our reunion campaign. Good luck with round 2!
Joe Wells: Bard lovers (and Missourians), unite! I noticed the Craft Wondrous Item omission immediately after turning it in, but forgot about it since. It was a copy/paste error when using the template (copied the main chunk of text and filled out the rest by memory-silly mistake on my part), though most of the other errors pointed out were truly accidental. The last mistake I think this item has is in the last line, I said "Muse of the Mantle" instead of "Mantle of the Muse". Ack! I really believe the statement "we are our own worst critics" and truly appreciate any nitpicks people have about the stuff I write. I'd like to think it makes future submissions that much stronger. Good luck in round 2, Joe!
Ack!
Andrew, I'm sorry I never noticed you had asked me how Legacy of Fire has treated/is treating my group (and me).
The answer is pretty good. (Makes me wish I had started them out with Legacy of Fire, instead of the mid-level "Crucible of Chaos" and then "trick" them into the latter half of LoF... I had a pack of gnoll raiders ambush them as they were heading into Katapesh... and a fiendish gnoll cleric (of Rovagug) had the scroll of Kakishon on her person... and that's how I got them into LoF).
IIRC it seems to me that LoF part 1 wasn't out yet, I had CoC (and it is still one of my favorites in the GameMastery modules) so I went in that direction. But the group just finished "The Impossible Eye" and only lost one character, the rogue/pathfinder chronicler. (And in "The End of Eternity" he lost his cohort to the spikestone guardians).
They are going to take a break in the City of Brass, the wizard wants Jhavhul's palace (and since they found the deed) he's going to try bribing his way in. Should be an interesting RP-ing encounter.
Dean (TMW)