I doubt anyone is interested, but I thought it might be fun to knock together a Villain in the style of the top 36. I would love to see what other people would have done.
Randolph Stein, favored musician of the outer gods
Male Human Bard 2/ Sorcerer 2(aberration blooded)
Description:
At rest, Stein is an overly thin man, with gaunt and haunted features. His hands and eyes are never still, always moving nervously like a sailor who has spent to long in a Korvosian Shiver den. He always dresses in black tailed jacket, britches and pressed white shirt, that make him look a little like a magpie. Stein is never without his violin, which he keeps safely in a case.
When performing he is like a man possessed. His movements are furious, as he jumps from note to impossible note with jarring discord and violating din. His features tighten and his eye burn with passion for the performance and the music. Only in the moments after he has played does he ever look happy or at ease.
Motivations/Goals:
Randolph Stein has always loved music. A prodigy for his earliest years, the violin was his life. He contracted the Mumps aged ten, while at his fathers hunting lodge for the summer. The disease left him deaf. Utterly distraught Stein prayed with a fierce passion to anything that would listen, to be able to hear music again. Something answered the prayer and his hearing returned but ever since stein has heard the sound of deranged pipes and fiddles on the edge of his perception. Entranced by these sounds he plays, trying to recreate them with his violin. The larger the audience the more successful he is and slowly but surely his is building a following amongst the Taldoran avant-garde. His performances rarely start small riots as the music takes a slow toll on his audience's sanity. With adulthood, Stein has started to study, searching for the source of the music in his mind. This search led him into unsavoury study of other places and times that never were. As his talents for both magic and music grew, Stein set about planning a way he might travel to the courts of the Outer gods, so that he might join the chorus of discord. Stein moves from town to town, performing for small art house crowds or busking on the street to earn his way or visiting wizards and occultists to study in their libraries for clues as to a way to travel to the court of Azathoth. Everywhere Stein roams, din and discord follow.
Schemes/Plots/Adventure Hooks:
- Caught up in a violent riot while returning to their tavern one night, the PCs must fight to survive against man and woman driven to distraction by Steins music. Can they survive long enough to investigate the source of the disturbance?
- Word reaches one of the PCs that a old friend or mentor has been murdered. Arriving at the wizards home they discover that his possessions have been ransacked and several old and dangerous books have been stolen. Can they track down stein before he unlocks the Books secrets?
I'm waiting to hear if posting my first villain idea is kosher while voting is still going on, if not I'll post here after voting for sure.
I'm waiting to hear if posting my first villain idea is kosher while voting is still going on, if not I'll post here after voting for sure.
Probably worth you waiting, i don't see that it is likely to be a problem for a know one like me, but since you have a nice shiny tag it is probably worth you waiting. By the way, i loved the Maw.
Hey Zombieneighbors - do you want feedback on that guy? I'd be happy to give you my thoughts.
Hey Zombieneighbors - do you want feedback on that guy? I'd be happy to give you my thoughts.
Sure, this stuff is most fun when people are laying into it :D. But, mmm, i know the grammar and spelling are crap, no need to point that out ;)
*Shakes fist at Steven* I'll get you for that!!!
OK, well, you already know that the spelling & grammar need work. Capitalizing proper nouns - that's a biggie. Also, I'd avoid casually using phrases like "places and times that never were" - that sort of statement should be reserved for a big reveal or to reinforce someone's madness.
From a concept standpoint, I'm not sure this guy is 'villainous' enough. He makes bad music which causes riots, and he's searching for a way to reach the outer gods. I guess he disregards the well-being of others when he creates his music, because sometimes people get hurt in the ensuing riots. That's kinda blah-evil to me.
I'd push this a step further. Perhaps he only hears the otherworldly accompaniment when he's causing pain in other people with his music. Thus, he drives them to frantic fervor with his furious fiddling. Then we know that he's consciously choosing a path of evil to further his own goals. Furthermore, what if he occasionally kidnapped or tricked someone to get test subjects for his new songs? In these cases, he might literally 'dance the victim to death' while practicing a new melody, discarding them afterwards, as if they were nothing more than a puppet dancing on strings for him. Finally, I'd suggest you look at the wikipedia page about the Dancing Plague of 1518. Great inspiration for a music-theme villain.
I would love to see what other people would have done.
Not in the tournament format but this is what I had milling around in my head..
Ahrah-koonem, The Raccoon Lord
‘He who rubs, scratches and despoils with its hands’
History
The embodiment of Raccoon traits, both fair and foul, Ahrah-koonem is a primeval creature simply known as The Raccoon Lord. Once a verdant and benevolent trickster, the Raccoon Lord has fallen from his light-hearted ways. A rotten bough of the world tree known as Boletus fell to the deep wilds of the Raccoon Lords domain. There the gargantuan branch lay to rot, bringing with it the taint that the world tree sought to be rid of. Ever curious the Raccoon Lord investigated the wondrous, albeit forbidding bough. To his delight he found a pair or acorn still attached to Boletus. As a being of perpetual hunger, the Raccoon Lord quickly devoured one to sate his appetite.
The acorn rotted within the Raccoon Lord and he languished for years, tormented by pain, hallucinations and wracking. Over time the Raccoon Lord found that devouring rotting material would ease his suffer; and so he sought rotten leaves, piles of compost and forgotten carcasses of anything he could find. He quickly found the need to traverse great distances to sate his hunger, baying his discomfort the best he could. The Raccoon Lord sought a solution to his woes, beseeching greater powers and urgently searching the civilized races for knowledge.
Eventually the Raccoon Lord found what he desired, a plan to end his suffering. The Raccoon Lord still possessed the other acorn from Boletus and he learned that if he were to plant it in the right location, it would grow a new sapling world tree. It was possible the power of this new world tree would cure him if he were to devour a fresh untainted acorn. Secondly, the rise of the new sapling would pulled the power of the natural world to itself, and halt the rotation of seasons for hundreds of miles around. Thus the Raccoon Lord knew if he was to plant the seed in Autumn, the season would never end and a great rot would ensue, sating his hunger until the sapling could grow.
Still possessing the other acorn of Boletus, the Raccoon Lord seeks to find a suitable place to plant it. Only rumors of such places lay in legend; Nalateem the navel of the world, Gilhegrand the wild growth, Everebb heart of all rivers. Much to his chagrin, the Raccoon Lord and his minions have failed to find these locations and now search methodically while trying to keep his hunger sated. With rotting material in short supply the Raccoon Lord creates his own out of necessity, complicating his search for knowledge while among the civilized races of the world.
Description
The Raccoon Lord appears as a twenty five foot raccoon with an overly large maw, a ringed prehensile tail, and bristly fur that shimmers with supernatural radiance. He can easily stand on its hind legs and manipulate his delicate from paws with meticulous detail. The Raccoon Lords cavernous maw contains a barbed tongue and small swarm of stirges that live within feeding upon the roof of his maw. Should the Raccoon Lord be roused in anger he will often brush his tongue on the stirges and exhale them outward, creating an enraged cloud of stirges in front of him.
The Raccoon Lord can take other forms but prefers his own form greatly. When taking another form they are often imperfect and lack common traits of that race. For example, when taking the form of an Elf, in his haste the Raccoon Lord may apply a light coat of fur and forget the ears. The Raccoon Lord and shift between forms as a full round action as often as he wishes.
Raccoon Lord, I'm not sure I like the name very much. Also, Ahrah-Koonem, or whatever, is a poor stand in for "a racoon." How about, "Koonem-rah, the Masked King"? You've got your racoon tie-in with the masked part, and Koonem-rah... well, I still don't like that very much, so don't go with that part.
Here again, I don't see anything particularly 'villainous.' He's suffering and perhaps he's a bit too empathetic. We really want to help him plant this tree so that he can get all healed up. In the meantime, we'll feed him rotting logs and whatnot and we'll be a big nature family.
Here's a sort of fix. Eating the first acorn drove the nature spirit of the raccoon king mad with pain and twisted him into a bestial version of himself. Driven to the mortal world, he tears apart every living thing he can get his paws on. (no... not paws, that's too silly) Mortal weapons have no effect on him, and even the most powerful spells and blades can do naught but banish him temporarily. If his reign of destruction isn't stopped, he'll destroy the kingdom (or whatever.) Then, let the players figure out the part about the other acorn. Let them go into the Masked King's twisted lair on some outer plane to recover the thing, and have them defend it from monsters who want to eat the growing sapling and gain godlike power from it. I like this better, although the raccoon king here is more of a plot device than a villain.
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Ahrah-koonem, The Raccoon Lord
‘He who rubs, scratches and despoils with its hands’
IT'S A RACCOON!!!! (calming down)If this had shown up in the villain round, I would have given all four votes to it!
Edit: Don't listen to the nay-sayers. They don't know what they're talking about.
IT'S A RACCOON!!!!
Glad you liked it.
Looks like the board ate it, let's try this again. It sounds like a got the green light from Vic. This is obviously a first draft since it's about half the max word count but here's what I had so far:
Glurd, The Enduring Hate
Female Advanced Reefclaw Sorcerer 8 Barbarian 4
Description: Glurd's shell suffers from numerous cracks which have healed poorly as well as a number of gnarled protrusions which resulted from imperfect regeneration. Glurd's voice sounds remarkably human with a thessalonian accent and is produced via a permanent tongues spell. When charming won't due she and her minions occasionally don magically preserved skin suits to walk among humans undetected, just as long as nobody looks at them too long.
Motivations/Goals: Attempts to bring back the Runelord of Wrath (the reefclaw's creator) was, in times past, Glurd's primary goal. But lately her attention has shifted from the sunken palace to the nearby coastal cities of Golarion. She intends to stop the mass killings of the reefclaw populations due their highly prized claw meat. Organized demonstrations of his species' cunning have been brushed off as curious behavior. Attempts to bring awareness to reefclaw's intelligence through dominated activists has failed. The occasional ambush of a fisherman goes noticed. The only fair thing is to kill and eat a human for every reefclaw that has been fished out of the waters. The time for subtle manipulations is reaching it's end. Now is the time for blood and justice.
Hook: Glurd has been working to organize a number of charity reefclaw feeds, which has taken months to set up. The plan is to invite the most important members of society to the feeds and have the tables turned as the doors are locked and very much living reef claws and chuuls pour over the attendees. The feedings are occurring within a few days of each other and far apart so it is up to the party to discover this evil plot, discover the next feeding locations, and put an end to the charity events before they end the attendees.
Oh, and I'm a big fan of the Raccoon!
Glurd, The Enduring Hate
*Smacks Casey upside the head.* You muppet, why didn't you submit this, it is made of awesome!!! I am so stealing this little gem. Its not going to change my vote, but For godsake, enter again next year and do something like this if you get to the villain section.
OK, well, you already know that the spelling & grammar need work. Capitalizing proper nouns - that's a biggie. Also, I'd avoid casually using phrases like "places and times that never were" - that sort of statement should be reserved for a big reveal or to reinforce someone's madness.
From a concept standpoint, I'm not sure this guy is 'villainous' enough. He makes bad music which causes riots, and he's searching for a way to reach the outer gods. I guess he disregards the well-being of others when he creates his music, because sometimes people get hurt in the ensuing riots. That's kinda blah-evil to me.
I'd push this a step further. Perhaps he only hears the otherworldly accompaniment when he's causing pain in other people with his music. Thus, he drives them to frantic fervor with his furious fiddling. Then we know that he's consciously choosing a path of evil to further his own goals. Furthermore, what if he occasionally kidnapped or tricked someone to get test subjects for his new songs? In these cases, he might literally 'dance the victim to death' while practicing a new melody, discarding them afterwards, as if they were nothing more than a puppet dancing on strings for him. Finally, I'd suggest you look at the wikipedia page about the Dancing Plague of 1518. Great inspiration for a music-theme villain.
Ah, i know about the Dancing Plague of 1518, it may well have been an early outbreak of Mass Hysteria. However, this isn't a fairy tale, having people dance until there is no flesh on their feel or they die of exaustion but their red shoe keep going is a very different story structure. This takes its insperation and structure from stories lie the music of Erich Zann and the King in Yellow.
In fairness i did only take an hour to pull it together so it isn't as good as it could be.
This takes its insperation and structure from stories lie the music of Erich Zann and the King in Yellow.
It's really hard to do that kind of creepy atmosphere in 500 words, especially when you're supposed to spend at least half of those on goals/motivations & adventure hooks. So much of Lovecraft/Chambers is description and slow buildup of tension. You just don't have the space to pull that off in 500 words, which is why people often shortcut to phrases like "places that never were", hoping to get a splash of that flavor. It doesn't come off the same way, at least not to me. I could be wrong on this, though. WotC has numerous villains in this vein published in various supplements with their whole "far realm" idea. It never really resonated with me.
I think you should push for a big hook straight off, then give some descriptive text, but keep it short and powerful. Finish off with solid goals/motivations/adventure hooks that augment the villain.
Glurd, The Enduring Hate
OK, I love the core concept here. She's tried to bring peace between her race and the surface dwellers and failed every time. Now the only way to protect her people is to take the war to the surface. Great motivation. It immediately had me thinking of the Israel-Palestine situation. IMO, this is a far stronger concept than the one you submitted.
A few things. First, I don't know what a reefclaw is (I gather they're some kind of intelligent lobster?) I'm guessing they were introduced in one of the pathfinder bestiaries? I don't think you should assume that your audience knows what they are. Use the description section to elaborate a bit.
The Hook is good, but I'd twist it even a bit further. Rather than have these events be "charity reefclaw feeds" have them be "all you can eat reefclaw buffets" put on for the fat gourmands in the upper class. Really play up the brutal nature of these events, so that when the tables are turned, it will be all the sweeter. If I was writing an adventure around this, I'd have the characters go to a real reefclaw dinner early on and then juxtapose it with the reefclaws eating people later in the adventure - delicous!
Lastly, I think there's a tiny inclination for the reader to empathize with Glurd. She's sort of a hero, after all. I think you need to emphasize her hatred, brutality, and cruelty a bit more. Maybe she and her loyal followers feed on the homeless, just to sate their anger while their big plan comes together.
I didn't make it to the second round but I would love to have my villain ideas critiqued.
Captain of the Mithril Talon - Sorya Sparrowsong
Female Air Genasi Martial Rogue 4/Bard 6/Warlock 8
Description:
A rare beauty even as child Sorya was captured as plunder by the pirate Ymric Hellrazor. Normally Ymric would have simply given her to the crew but he sensed something of magic in the girl and "adopted" her as daughter and mascot.
Tall and lean with sky blue skin and midnight black hair that glitters with stars, Sorya would be striking in any arena. In the male dominated world of piracy Sorya is truly unique. Always impeccably dressed (something she demands of her crew as well) at sea Sorya's clothing is practical and suitable for work on a warship. In port Sorya dresses as appropriate to a woman of quality, her only visible conceit to her profession is her rapier Quill which is at her hip at all times.
Underestimated as a mere brigand Sorya sails from port to port pulling the strings of thieves' guilds in more than a score of coastal cities. Over time, select crew members "graduate" to the thieves' guilds of the port cities Sorya frequents. These agents gather the information that is the Mithril Talon's most valuable cargo. Brokering this information has given Sorya vast wealth, and through wealth, the power to control more than a score of thieves guilds along the coast.
Motivations/Goals:
Sorya the pirate is well known. Sorya the information broker, Sorya mistress of thieves is unknown to all save her agents. Sorya always manipulates the guilds through agents and is very disciplined about keeping her true role and power secret. Sorya is ambitious, but uncomplicated, she wants to maximize the profit of her criminal empire and enrich herself and her crew. With her wealth, ability, and network of agents Sorya knows she could be a potent political power but she loves life at sea and the adventure and even the violence of piracy.
Sorya is fiercely loyal to those who are loyal to her and the abuse of one of her agents often results in the cruel demise of the offending persons.
Schemes/Plots:
Sorya holds the nobility in contempt. She revels in finding and trafficking information that keeps the wellborn at each others throats. Sorya prides herself on knowing everything worth knowing in her ports of call and is constantly implementing minor schemes to collect it or sell it.
Sorya's current pet project is engineering the fall of one of the Great Families to avenge the death one of her favorite agents.
Adventure Hooks:
• The PCs kill, capture, or harm a valued agent.
• Sorya recruits the PCs to her crew and they learn her true role in the region.
• The Nobles sense the thieves know too much, and that their resources run too deep, they commission the PCs to investigate.
• The Nobles realize they are being manipulated and the PCs are tasked to find the source of the information that is fueling their conflicts.
Admiral Yryz Bloodmoon
Female Gnoll Bard 15
Yryz is tall and lanky, over 7 feet tall. She keeps her hyena-head's mane somewhat cleaner than the average gnoll. She typically wears black studded leather armor over blood red silk shirts. Her eyes are a sickly amber, and her spotted pelt covers a pale grayish-green hide.
Yryz is a slaver. She commands a fleet of gnoll pirate-priestesses that raid the civilized ports for slaves and other plunder. She herself captains the Cruel Jape, an ironside galley of immense size. She has a wicked sense of humor, and her sarcastic wit and cruel jokes inspire her gnollish crew. In addition to being a ship's captain and admiral of a fleet of pirate ships, Yryz is also a talented alchemist. In fact, it was her alchemical research which ignited her strange obsession.
Yryz is convinced that gnolls are ill-lucked lycanthropes, cursed to remain in their bipedal forms. She seeks to free her race from this curse. Yryz read a history where an insane derro alchemist built a device that called down a star and destroyed a city. Yryz seeks to re-create that device and draw the moon into the sea. She believes that if she can bring the moon closer to the gnolls, they'll regain their lycanthropic power and break their racial curse. Yryz has several allies amongst what she calls the locked lycanthropic races: kenku, worgs, aranea, minotaurs, rakshasa, and serpentfolk.
Yryz finances her insane research from the plunder of her raids.
Adventure Hooks:
Yryz's slave ships capture a valued ally or family member of the PCs.
Yryz (or one of her agents) hires the PCs to track down the Talisman of the Sphere, as the Sphere of Annihilation is a necessary component to construct the mad derro's device.
Yryz's fleet barricades the city the PCs are in, demanding tribute of an unusual nature. The mayor of the port requests the PC's aid in recovering what Yryz demands.
During a famine, Yryz and her fleet supply their allies with mysterious sausage, while increasing their slave-taking raiding parties.
Fanatical gnoll barbarians known as the Lunatics pillage the PC's home while they are away, stealing the magic items they were having constructed.
The PCs are hired to protect the sanitarium where the insane derro was confined. Yryz is rumored to need the journal he wrote there to complete her infernal engine.
The PCs discover a treasure map that leads to a share of Yryz's booty. When she discovers it's missing, she seeks to track down the PCs that stole from her.
I didn't make it to the second round but to better prepare for next year I would love to have this villain critiqued - thanks in advance.
Smaragd Volnot Eco-Terrorist
Male Treant Wizard 15
Description:
Tall and twisted at Smaragd Volnot appears to be no more than an ancient walnut, he is however far more. Over the centuries Smaragd has grown bitter and hostile toward all the races of man and their encroachment and contamination of his forest home and its denizens. To protect his forest (and all wild spaces) Smaragd has declared war on the pestilence known as civilization. Smaragd's battle began as a holding action, a fight to maintain balance between the world of men and the wild. However after centuries of failing to halt the advance of men Smaragd has rededicated himself to his cause and is taking his war to the cities and the cultivated lands that support them. Smaragd uses friendship, persuasion, coercion and magic to organize like minded woodland creatures into a powerful confederacy of hate toward men and their kind.
Motivations/Goals:
Smaragd works to reclaim and reforest the lands stolen and corrupted by men of all races. As a treant Smaragd is not bound to the morals and conventions of men. Smaragd is completely intolerant of all men regardless of race or class, he is however intelligent enough to use them to advance his plans and will sometimes feign allegiances to gain intelligence or resources that advance his cause.
Schemes/Plots:
As a treant Smaragd's machinations have much longer time frames than most human plots. However Smaragd knows that many of his allies lack the focus and discipline to stay with plans that may take decades to bear fruit so he typically has several plots moving in parallel to fit the attention spans, energies, and abilities of his allies. Some of Smaragd's schemes are known to the surrounding settlements others are not. Some that are known are:
• The destruction of the roads, aqueducts, merchant caravans and lines communication passing through lands under is control.
• Smaragd and his agents use bribery, deception, extortion, and magic to fuel political disputes and drive the nations of men to war. Smaragd uses these same techniques to support a variety of criminal activities that make men weak.
• Not all of Smaragd's activities are destructive, his war also includes the reclamation of lands recovered from the plow and reforestation of woods harvested by loggers.
• Smaragd dedicates a significant amount of his time and energy (and that of his allies) to the mystical fortification of his woods.
Adventure Hooks:
• The PCs are hired as guards for a logging operation (or caravan or construction project) in Smaragd's wood.
• The PCs are commissioned to recover a magic item captured by Smaragd's terrorists.
• The PCs find themselves lost in a forest under Smaragd's control.
Anyone else got some sweet villainy goodness (evilness)???
I was kind of hoping someone would jump on the two I posted so far.
This thread seems to have pretty much been abandoned.
(Or maybe the villains I posted are too lame to comment on).
Maybe tonight I'll try to comment on some other peoples'.
I didn't make it to the second round but I would love to have my villain ideas critiqued.
Captain of the Mithril Talon - Sorya Sparrowsong
Female Air Genasi Martial Rogue 4/Bard 6/Warlock 8Description:
A rare beauty even as child Sorya was captured as plunder by the pirate Ymric Hellrazor. Normally Ymric would have simply given her to the crew but he sensed something of magic in the girl and "adopted" her as daughter and mascot.Tall and lean with sky blue skin and midnight black hair that glitters with stars, Sorya would be striking in any arena. In the male dominated world of piracy Sorya is truly unique. Always impeccably dressed (something she demands of her crew as well) at sea Sorya's clothing is practical and suitable for work on a warship. In port Sorya dresses as appropriate to a woman of quality, her only visible conceit to her profession is her rapier Quill which is at her hip at all times.
Underestimated as a mere brigand Sorya sails from port to port pulling the strings of thieves' guilds in more than a score of coastal cities. Over time, select crew members "graduate" to the thieves' guilds of the port cities Sorya frequents. These agents gather the information that is the Mithril Talon's most valuable cargo. Brokering this information has given Sorya vast wealth, and through wealth, the power to control more than a score of thieves guilds along the coast.
Motivations/Goals:
Sorya the pirate is well known. Sorya the information broker, Sorya mistress of thieves is unknown to all save her agents. Sorya always manipulates the guilds through agents and is very disciplined about keeping her true role and power secret. Sorya is ambitious, but uncomplicated, she wants to maximize the profit of her criminal empire and enrich herself and her crew. With her wealth, ability, and network of agents Sorya knows she could be a potent political power but she loves life at sea and the adventure and even the violence of piracy.Sorya is...
Sorry, i should have gotten back to you sooner but i have been busy lately.
Villain?:
Sorya falls into the middle ground between admirable villain and anti-hero. The closest comparison I can think of is the more mature explorations of Cat Woman. I think you would have risked people saying that she was not a villain.
Adventure Hooks:
These are weak, I am afraid. You would have done better shrinking down to two plot hooks and given more detail.
Writing:
Over all, I like you use of language, but in places, it was confusing. The first sentence especially really needs work. I know I am not one to talk, but hey.
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I think folks would have liked my angry druid. I think the trick is to not have bring human forest druid that hates civilization for an unthoughtful reason. Not to say that the entered druids were necessarily that type. Just one to avoid.
I was thinking about throwing Kedu Meht Sun up here, but I never finished her.
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I think folks would have liked my angry druid. I think the trick is to not have bring human forest druid that hates civilization for an unthoughtful reason. Not to say that the entered druids were necessarily that type. Just one to avoid.
I was thinking about throwing Kedu Meht Sun up here, but I never finished her.
Well, my druid had a reason to hate civilization, and he was going to have a fairly insidious way of getting his revenge. Maybe next year...
I had this as a loose concept, that I'm still working on, but so far I like where it's going.
Nilah Gale
Female Advanced Medusa (Medium Monstrous Humanoid, cold subtype) Barbarian 2 Ex-Monk 4
Description: The first thing and adventurer sees when looking into Nilah’s eyes are the piercing sea of blue. By then it’s usually too late to look away.
While she is not bothered by the cold in the slightest, Nilah hides her perfectly sculpted body behind layers of animal furs and a dingy hooded cloak in hopes to throw off adventurers that she is more than what she truly is. Nilah’s serpentine ‘hair’ is tied back to disguise her true nature whenever possible, and the scales on them are dark black and brown giving her an appearance of wearing dreadlocks.
Motivations/Goals: Nilah was cursed by a jealous lover decades ago after he discovered her with another man. He wielded great arcane powers and used them to twist her mind and soul into the body she now wears. Nilah is relentless in her pursuit into tracking down the man that cursed her and gaining her vengeance, along the way doing whatever is needed to sate her blood lust.
She has spent years researching ways to break her curse, but without any kind of magical aptitude herself she has gained no progress.
Hook:
A remote city on the northern edge of the world stops sending communications and trade caravans south to its neighboring towns and cities. When adventurers are finally sent to look into this disturbance they discover it empty, unless you count the numerous ice sculptures of people left all over town.
A group of rangers return to the city to stock up on supplies confronts the PCs about the towns condition, but quickly drop their accusations when they realize some of the tracks they followed back to town were in fact the parties and they couldn’t of been here when whatever happened to the city transpired.
It is when the rangers start identifying the ice sculptures as townsfolk that they realize they way over their heads and try to enlist the PCs help finding out what is going on.
Dear Zombieneighbours,
Reread the first sentence you are absolutley right it needs work.
I don't see pirates as anti-heros - but I take your point.
I guess I just kind of liked the idea of a real criminal running the criminal organizations - but know one knowing. I also liked the logsitics of being at sea both keeps her away from the day to day and exposure to the authorities and allows her to deliver the information and maintain control over multiple areas. Though I readily concede that has a lot to do with how I see perceive management in general.
I will have to think about the plot hooks.
THANKS FOR THE FEEDBACK!
I appreciate the time and thought!
Dear Zombieneighbours,
Reread the first sentence you are absolutley right it needs work.
I don't see pirates as anti-heros - but I take your point.
I guess I just kind of liked the idea of a real criminal running the criminal organizations - but know one knowing. I also liked the logsitics of being at sea both keeps her away from the day to day and exposure to the authorities and allows her to deliver the information and maintain control over multiple areas. Though I readily concede that has a lot to do with how I see perceive management in general.I will have to think about the plot hooks.
THANKS FOR THE FEEDBACK!
I appreciate the time and thought!
I also wrote up a pirate villain. One thing I like about the pirate villain concept is its portability--you can drop the ship and pirate into any campaign (except maybe Dark Sun....).
I'm thinking some might find your pirate kind of anti-heroic because she seems to focus her activities on other criminal organizations and villains, like evil despots and competing thieves guilds. She might be considered more villainous if she conducted her villainy on innocents. Although that bit about her liking to get her hands dirty in the violence of piracy might be a good jumping off point.
Any comments on the Eco-Terrorist?
At least he isn't druid (actually dislikes them).
I didn't make it to the second round but to better prepare for next year I would love to have this villain critiqued - thanks in advance.
Smaragd Volnot Eco-Terrorist
Male Treant Wizard 15Description:
Tall and twisted at Smaragd Volnot appears to be no more than an ancient walnut, he is however far more. Over the centuries Smaragd has grown bitter and hostile toward all the races of man and their encroachment and contamination of his forest home and its denizens. To protect his forest (and all wild spaces) Smaragd has declared war on the pestilence known as civilization. Smaragd's battle began as a holding action, a fight to maintain balance between the world of men and the wild. However after centuries of failing to halt the advance of men Smaragd has rededicated himself to his cause and is taking his war to the cities and the cultivated lands that support them. Smaragd uses friendship, persuasion, coercion and magic to organize like minded woodland creatures into a powerful confederacy of hate toward men and their kind.Motivations/Goals:
Smaragd works to reclaim and reforest the lands stolen and corrupted by men of all races. As a treant Smaragd is not bound to the morals and conventions of men. Smaragd is completely intolerant of all men regardless of race or class, he is however intelligent enough to use them to advance his plans and will sometimes feign allegiances to gain intelligence or resources that advance his cause.
The rest of the entry is above - I don't why I couldn't quoate the whole thing.
I also wrote up a pirate villain. One thing I like about the pirate villain concept is its portability--you can drop the ship and pirate into any campaign (except maybe Dark Sun....).
SAND PIRATES!!!
I also wrote up a pirate villain. One thing I like about the pirate villain concept is its portability--you can drop the ship and pirate into any campaign (except maybe Dark Sun....).SAND PIRATES!!!
ARRRRRGGGGG!!!! How could I forget those!!!???
And don't forget Ice Pirates!
And don't forget Ice Pirates!
How could I, after the terrible case of Space Herpes they gave me?
And don't forget Ice Pirates!
How could I, after the terrible case of Space Herpes they gave me?
Overshare much?
;-)
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Anyone else got some sweet villainy goodness (evilness)???
My pbp have been asking me to post so, yeah I will add what I submitted.
Sebari Watertinker, The Black Song
Male air gnome bard 9
Description:
The water began to seep through the mud entombing Sebari and he suddenly understood why the cries of the others had been stifled. For two days each dying voice was stamped on his soul like a dark hymn.
Sebari Watertinker is a tall, comely gnome with dark gray hair, a charming smile, and sky blue eyes that seem to hold wisps of clouds. Always elegantly and practically attired, his clothes blend in from the docks to city hall. Although an avid singer, Sebari’s smile and impassioned speeches for public works are where his true charm shines.
For his victims substitute the following
*spoiler*
A man in a black leather mantle and dark helm leans in close. His bi-tonal mourning song pierces flesh, resonating in your chest.
*/spoiler* (unspoilered for reposting in a spoiler thread)
Motivations/Goals:
Sebari was fostered to a distant cousin in a village near an Absalom dam construction site. The dam burst before completion, dumping his home into the river’s path. Under a night sky, the entire village was buried alive in the mudslide. Sebari endured dying cries until he freed himself.
Those suffocating cries still sing to him and drive him to be one of the premier engineers of Absalom and leader of the Canalworkers Guild. Sebari achieved this position with one goal in mind: bury the city and listen to its people cry as they suffocate.
Schemes
Through illusions, bluff, disguise, charms, and bardic performance Sebari has created many ways to seduce a person to a place where he can suffocate them. He enjoys watching his victims take their last breath, face to face. Pressing his tongue lightly to his lip, Sebari releases the songs of mourning buried in his heart as they die. The people of Absalom have named these mournful hymns the Black Song.
Plots
Sebari is undermining the city, literally. Through many years of ‘public works’ he has completed a maze of sewers and canals. When the time is right he will collapse Absalom, burying its citizens like its dam buried him.
Adventure Hooks:
Parties may encounter Sebari just as he is establishing himself in Absalom or when he completes his tunnels. Some hooks as appropriate for your party’s level.
Low:
Fetching water one morning a PC finds a drowned person in the Petal District fountain. Nine others are discovered in wells and fountains around the city. Witnesses blame a man in black.
Medium:
Air elementals appear at the clock tower each day at noon to attack the city. A ‘child’ with blue eyes asks one of the PCs to please take him safely home.
High:
A dragon announces his herald has declared Absalom as easy gold and has moved in. Where is it hiding, who is his herald, and how can the city avoid becoming its lair?
City Hall collapses in a sinkhole and the one engineer who might be able to coordinate a rescue of the entire council has been trapped beneath the rubble with them.
and the part that got me into alternate status
Cerberus’ Collar
Aura weak conjuration; CL 3
Slot neck; Price 7200 gp; Weight --
This ornately crafted leather collar is to be worn by a character’s animal companion, special mount or familiar. It has spikes of silver or gold, and three gemstones decorate its surface. Three times per day, the character may activate the collar summoning two purple tendrils of energy from the item. The following round each tendril coalesces into an extra appendage based on the animal’s primary attack (such as heads for a dog, or legs for a horse). For the next three rounds, when the animal makes a full attack action, the extra appendages may each make a single attack at the highest attack bonus. When the animal makes an attack of opportunity these two appendages may make an attack of opportunity which may affect the same target.
CONSTRUCTION
Summon Natures Ally II;
I should add that I corrected the typo that the judges had a good laugh at *grin*
Nice, Curaigh. I especially like the hook in the first sentence of the description. That's a chilling image. Dying people crying, water slowly rising, and Sebari thrashing with his free arm to free himself. Burying a whole city is a worthy villainous goal.
I might change the high level hook because the dragon doesn't seem to fit the theme. Maybe a block or two of the city collapses prematurely. (taking a PC's home with it?) Or the collapse is part of Sebari's plan to discredit the head of public works so that he can seize control and complete the last segments of his plan.
The Collar is good too, but you already knew that. Now you've got me curious as to the typo.
I didn't make it to the second round but to better prepare for next year I would love to have this villain critiqued - thanks in advance.
Smaragd Volnot Eco-Terrorist
Male Treant Wizard 15...
The destruction of the roads, aqueducts, merchant caravans and lines...
Nice Job Kyr.
I think the destruction of aquaducts and roads is in character, but to make it more villainous, you might need to add that needed supplies spoiled or that people are dieing of thirst. It should add an immediacy to the cliche. Hating civilization is a little cliche (I used it too), but it can be tightened to make it more interesting (a particular target such as beat farms, cattle ranches, or 'gutter-rivers' or a particular method such as sieging a city.)
I like the wizard angle, and using magic to destroy his targets is ineresting. I am not as impressed on gaining getting mankind to war on itself. I am not sure how a treant (or a forest/fey minion) could wield that much political power without giving himself away.
The encroachment upon his forest, means it might be easy avoid this villain as well (hence the destroyed caravan's/seige suggestion above).
I could be wrong-not sure how the 'associated hd works' Treant is 7 HD +5 ECL +15 wizard = CR 27
Pestilant civilisation is too vague a goal to be villainous, but I like the concept. And treant + wizard = awsome! I hope that helps.
Thanks Curaigh!
I read the gnome.
I liked the gnome - the a sort of suffocating gnome Jack the Ripper and the undermining the city bit.
I wasn't such a fan of the description - I thought the motivations goals would of been a better description.
Definately a villain as opposed to an encounter and not over the top with power - just nasty - well done!
Additional notes.
I am painfully aware, reading through it, that Narlandra doesn't come across as the outright in-your-face egomaniac style of villain that several of the best villains from Round 2 were; her villainy is probably too subtle.
The 500 word limit really is a nuisance, and the choices it can force you to make on what to convey.
On reflection, I suspect I blew this; some of my 'gag' villains over on the other thread probably present better (although most of those were over the word count).
Hmmm.
It's funny ... when I read her, I didn't think "villain" but rather "golddigger". The only thing that really tells me she's a villain rather than an intriguing NPC is that she's a Succubus :) A very intriguing lady, Charles.