reveille, in the Mordorian Baths of Sphink Tor
where even the evilest orcs feared bending over
and weird rashes in post-menopausal hobbit women
not to mention itchy irritation of Tom's Bombadil
were also a problem. Meanwhile Sauron was upset
Ragweed pollen grains, which really irritated his Eye
it quick. "Invade Gondor, for they have the
rode forth, cupons in hand, travelling across the
To the giant strip mall city of Osgilliath
but where the sacred Visine Fountain still flowed
saddle-sore cavalry, rode on despite hemorrhoids to reach
in breadth of proctological lore. "Welcome, riders. How
are those piles? We can offer all manner
come cheaply! I am in desperate need of
healing wench, Eophedrine, sister-daughter of King Eopedius, son
of the dread emperor Methedrine. You seek the
legendary Nards of Ea, do you not?" He
to his saddlebag to retrieve the cryptic scrolls.
"I bought these for a $1." Each has
this interesting bit right down her. When it
start chasing moths around the fire, smashing them
the Anduin river runs black with Orc blood.
hatched a plan to use moths to lure
the hapless hobbits to a watery grave or
clumsy humanoids like the orcs. The moths fluttered
about alluring and the hobbits, mesmerized, began to
see why Elves called Hobbits the "Tripod Race"