Runelord Roundtable


Off-Topic Discussions

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The Eighth Runelord wrote:
The last time I counted, there were EIGHT schools of magic, and all the rest of you just tell yourselves that Divination's not worth focussing on. Hah. It doesn't stop you from dabbling in the school to further your own goals. Naturally, a master of Divination knows the best way to hide oneself away until a suitable moment to return arises.

Well, maybe you should talk to Lissala about that. She did, after all, give us only seven virtues of rule, which were convenient enough to manipulate into Sin Magic. Sorry to be the one to have his slave tell you this on his behalf, but Divination is for pussies. It was left out for a reason. If it can't be associated with a sin, it just doesn't make the cut. Now get out of my way, you're blocking the tv.


Runelord of Sloth wrote:
The Eighth Runelord wrote:
The last time I counted, there were EIGHT schools of magic, and all the rest of you just tell yourselves that Divination's not worth focussing on. Hah. It doesn't stop you from dabbling in the school to further your own goals. Naturally, a master of Divination knows the best way to hide oneself away until a suitable moment to return arises.
Well, maybe you should talk to Lissala about that. She did, after all, give us only seven virtues of rule, which were convenient enough to manipulate into Sin Magic. Sorry to be the one to have his slave tell you this on his behalf, but Divination is for pussies. It was left out for a reason. If it can't be associated with a sin, it just doesn't make the cut. Now get out of my way, you're blocking the tv.

I was just glad there wasn't a Runelord of Paranoia (to my knowledge), because everyone knows Diviners only have to give up one school of magic, which isn't fair to the other sucky schools like Necromancy and Illusion. And, yes, that was an insult!

I think our first order of business should be choosing a Topic to be our Capital. None of this "everybody gets their own" business again.


First King wrote:
I think our first order of business should be choosing a Topic to be our Capital. None of this "everybody gets their own" business again.

Well I ain't movin' so this is the capital. 'Nuff said.


Runelord of Sloth wrote:


Hey, could someone hand me the nacho dip? And get my mail. This infomercial on exercise machines is too grueling for me to consider actually getting up and moving. I'd appreciate any help I can get. And I'll throw you some bound demons and such when the invasion happens. Deal?

Yes, master....


I will absolutely not share my capital with anyone, and I am insulted that you believed I would.

I hope the rest of you suffer debilitating anarchy. I hate you.


Runelord of Pride wrote:

I will absolutely not share my capital with anyone, and I am insulted that you believed I would.

I hope the rest of you suffer debilitating anarchy. I hate you.

What are you going to do about it?!


First King wrote:
What are you going to do about it?!

My hate is your problem, not mine.


roguerouge wrote:
Runelord of Sloth wrote:


Hey, could someone hand me the nacho dip? And get my mail. This infomercial on exercise machines is too grueling for me to consider actually getting up and moving. I'd appreciate any help I can get. And I'll throw you some bound demons and such when the invasion happens. Deal?

Yes, master....

See, all of you other Runelords are busy running around and doing things, and I'm the first one to get a minion. I rest my case, and for that matter, I rest everything, especially myself. Going back to sleep now.

Your friend and ruler,

Sloth


Runelord of Sloth wrote:
roguerouge wrote:
Runelord of Sloth wrote:


Hey, could someone hand me the nacho dip? And get my mail. This infomercial on exercise machines is too grueling for me to consider actually getting up and moving. I'd appreciate any help I can get. And I'll throw you some bound demons and such when the invasion happens. Deal?

Yes, master....

See, all of you other Runelords are busy running around and doing things, and I'm the first one to get a minion. I rest my case, and for that matter, I rest everything, especially myself. Going back to sleep now.

Your friend and ruler,

Sloth

You know, technically you are all supposed to be MY minions.

Let that be a lesson to you, Sloth.


Aww, man! I want a minion! And if I can't have a minion of my own, I'll just have to destroy yours.

Let's see, where did I put the contact poison to go with those nachos.... "Captain Bedsores" may be able to fend off the poison, but his minions have to touch his food if they're going to feed him.

Meanwhile, any progress on wrangling that thread bug? Sounds like a job for Grumpy...I mean, Wrath. If you need some wards against annihilation magic, let me know.


Oi vey, what have I wrought?

-E.X.


First King wrote:
I think our first order of business should be choosing a Topic to be our Capital. None of this "everybody gets their own" business again.
Emperor Xin wrote:

Oi vey, what have I wrought?

-E.X.

What? Why are there two of you?! There isn't even supposed to be one! You're dead!

That said, this thread seems the obvious capital.


Runelord of Greed wrote:
First King wrote:
I think our first order of business should be choosing a Topic to be our Capital. None of this "everybody gets their own" business again.
Emperor Xin wrote:

Oi vey, what have I wrought?

-E.X.

What? Why are there two of you?! There isn't even supposed to be one! You're dead!

That said, this thread seems the obvious capital.

It had better be. I started this one and I ain't movin' from this spot. Can one of you be good Runelords and smite the rest of these threads that I have to scan through to find this one? That scroll wheel on my mouse takes a ton of work for my lazy fingers.

Your BFF,
Sloth


Runelord of Greed wrote:
First King wrote:
I think our first order of business should be choosing a Topic to be our Capital. None of this "everybody gets their own" business again.
Emperor Xin wrote:

Oi vey, what have I wrought?

-E.X.

What? Why are there two of you?! There isn't even supposed to be one! You're dead!

That said, this thread seems the obvious capital.

Clearly, Emperor Xin is the past Xin, travelled forward in time to deal with you incompetent, squabbling, destructive, lazy, treacherous, promiscuous, disgusting things.

I, on the other hand, am what you might call the "disembodied head of the former Emperor Xin come back to haunt you as punishment for your sins". (Please note my Avatar...)

The question remains if I am still dead, undead, reanimated, reincarnated, or just resurrected.


First King wrote:
The question remains if I am still dead, undead, reanimated, reincarnated, or just resurrected.

I vote for you being annoying. Stop yer yappin' and let me sleep! Get the rest of these six, seven or however many there are to take over Paizo and let me know when it's done. You'll be compensated for your work.

Can you scratch my foot there? I don't want to reach for it.


Runelord of Sloth wrote:
First King wrote:
The question remains if I am still dead, undead, reanimated, reincarnated, or just resurrected.

I vote for you being annoying. Stop yer yappin' and let me sleep! Get the rest of these six, seven or however many there are to take over Paizo and let me know when it's done. You'll be compensated for your work.

Can you scratch my foot there? I don't want to reach for it.

See, this proves you are not the real Runelord of Sloth. If you were, you wouldn't be doing so much talking.

And don't tell me that you are dictating, that takes work too. Unless, of course, you have a permanent telepathic effect with your scribes.


Runelord of Sloth wrote:


See, all of you other Runelords are busy running around and doing things, and I'm the first one to get a minion. I rest my case, and for that matter, I rest everything, especially myself. Going back to sleep now.

Your friend and ruler,

Sloth

Please, allow me to be your footstool while you slumber, master. These books should make me just high enough for your mightiness!


Runelord of Sloth wrote:


Can you scratch my foot there? I don't want to reach for it.

I wriggle with joy at doing so, master.


::telepathically::What's this!?! Didn't we spank you all and send you off to bed for a couple centuries? (And more importantly, didn't many of you enjoy that? - Sloth, Lust, I'm looking at you.)


Joe the Aboleth wrote:
::telepathically::What's this!?! Didn't we spank you all and send you off to bed for a couple centuries? (And more importantly, didn't many of you enjoy that? - Sloth, Lust, I'm looking at you.)

Oh, indeed I did. Please, spank me again, but I want the Triskele of Aboen like you promised.


First King wrote:

See, this proves you are not the real Runelord of Sloth. If you were, you wouldn't be doing so much talking.

And don't tell me that you are dictating, that takes work too. Unless, of course, you have a permanent telepathic effect with your scribes.

Your underestimation of my abilities is laughable. Roguerouge, dispatch him immediately.


Joe the Aboleth wrote:
::telepathically::What's this!?! Didn't we spank you all and send you off to bed for a couple centuries?

We got better.


Joe the Aboleth wrote:
::telepathically::What's this!?! Didn't we spank you all and send you off to bed for a couple centuries? (And more importantly, didn't many of you enjoy that? - Sloth, Lust, I'm looking at you.)

Hey, I thought that was just speculation by scholars in the distant future!

Unless, that was a confession of guilt...where is that dang lawyer who plays with ponies?


Runelord of Sloth wrote:
First King wrote:

See, this proves you are not the real Runelord of Sloth. If you were, you wouldn't be doing so much talking.

And don't tell me that you are dictating, that takes work too. Unless, of course, you have a permanent telepathic effect with your scribes.

Your underestimation of my abilities is laughable. Roguerouge, dispatch him immediately.

Oh no, please don't kill me AGAIN. How much diamond dust is there in the world?


First King wrote:
Runelord of Sloth wrote:
First King wrote:

See, this proves you are not the real Runelord of Sloth. If you were, you wouldn't be doing so much talking.

And don't tell me that you are dictating, that takes work too. Unless, of course, you have a permanent telepathic effect with your scribes.

Your underestimation of my abilities is laughable. Roguerouge, dispatch him immediately.
Oh no, please don't kill me AGAIN. How much diamond dust is there in the world?

A mouse fighting a severed head? This should be interesting.


Runelord of Greed wrote:
First King wrote:
Runelord of Sloth wrote:
First King wrote:

See, this proves you are not the real Runelord of Sloth. If you were, you wouldn't be doing so much talking.

And don't tell me that you are dictating, that takes work too. Unless, of course, you have a permanent telepathic effect with your scribes.

Your underestimation of my abilities is laughable. Roguerouge, dispatch him immediately.
Oh no, please don't kill me AGAIN. How much diamond dust is there in the world?
A mouse fighting a severed head? This should be interesting.

I foresee that I am going to have difficulty getting any bookmaker to take a bet from me on the result of this fight. This is one of the reasons why I haven't revealed myself for so long (information as to the true names of several female other-planar beings might be another). The second a bookmaker hears that you're the a specialist in divination, they don't want to take bets from you for some reason. The same seems to go for casino owners*. If I didn't know the answer already, I'd be asking how irrational anyone involved in the gambling industry could get?

* That reminds me, Runelord of Greed. Nice gambling operation you had going on that barge near Turtleback Ferry. I was passing through the area the other day and happened to drop in to see how your minion was doing. Lamia Matriarch by the name of Lucrecia, right?


Runelord of Sloth wrote:

Your underestimation of my abilities is laughable. Roguerouge, dispatch him immediately.

One "Death of a Thousand Paper Cuts" coming right up!


roguerouge wrote:
Runelord of Sloth wrote:

Your underestimation of my abilities is laughable. Roguerouge, dispatch him immediately.

One "Death of a Thousand Paper Cuts" coming right up!

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The Eighth Runelord wrote:
* That reminds me, Runelord of Greed. Nice gambling operation you had going on that barge near Turtleback Ferry. I was passing through the area the other day and happened to drop in to see how your minion was doing. Lamia Matriarch by the name of Lucrecia, right?

Yeah, a way to simultaneously resurrect myself and make profit. Probably my best plan to date.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
First King wrote:


Hey, I thought that was just speculation by scholars in the distant future!

::telepathically:: No, no. That was Then, this is Now. We passed Then, just now. Now, you're looking at Now. Everything that happens now, is happening Now.

Where's the Runelord of VHS when I need him?!


Screeee!

skitters and gambols away, madcap


Yuan yuan yaun!

chases after the Driv


Blarg.


First King wrote:
Joe the Aboleth wrote:
::telepathically::What's this!?! Didn't we spank you all and send you off to bed for a couple centuries? (And more importantly, didn't many of you enjoy that? - Sloth, Lust, I'm looking at you.)
Hey, I thought that was just speculation by scholars in the distant future!

From what I've heard, they did it, but their main goal was to destroy Azlant (that's why the Azlanti sank into the sea and not us).


Squelch

cleans off Walzt gore from underside of foot with near by forest


It would appear these . . . things are invading my, I mean, our capital. Any suggestions on how to remove them? I could make some lovely gold statues . . .


Runelord of Greed wrote:
The Eighth Runelord wrote:
* That reminds me, Runelord of Greed. Nice gambling operation you had going on that barge near Turtleback Ferry. I was passing through the area the other day and happened to drop in to see how your minion was doing. Lamia Matriarch by the name of Lucrecia, right?
Yeah, a way to simultaneously resurrect myself and make profit. Probably my best plan to date.

Didn't go as planned, though, did it? Best to just lay low ... permanently and get what you can with the least possible effort. No use overextending yourself, eh?

Roguerouge, bring me my bag of Runecheetos!


Runelord of Greed wrote:
It would appear these . . . things are invading my, I mean, our capital. Any suggestions on how to remove them? I could make some lovely gold statues . . .

They would look nice in my spa, all shiny gold.


Casts Flesh to Stone on the invaders, then turns the statues into gold with Polymorph Any Object


Runelord of Sloth wrote:


Roguerouge, bring me my bag of Runecheetos!

I regret to inform my master that the Runelord of Gluttony ate them all. Something about needing a chaser for WotC's boards, sir.


Secretly applies the contact poison to Sloth's Runecheetos.

We have interlopers, do we? Swinging a matched pair of rods that look oddly like billy clubs...one is marked "Absorb"...the other "Cancel."


Runelord of Envy wrote:

Secretly applies the contact poison to Sloth's Runecheetos.

We have interlopers, do we? Swinging a matched pair of rods that look oddly like billy clubs...one is marked "Absorb"...the other "Cancel."

No need for those. They would undo the spells that turned the intruders into such great decorations.


Runelord of Greed wrote:
Casts Flesh to Stone on the invaders, then turns the statues into gold with Polymorph Any Object

*takes statue, puts in bathroom, uses as a ... towel rack*


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Joe the Aboleth wrote:
First King wrote:


Hey, I thought that was just speculation by scholars in the distant future!

::telepathically:: No, no. That was Then, this is Now. We passed Then, just now. Now, you're looking at Now. Everything that happens now, is happening Now.

Where's the Runelord of VHS when I need him?!

Fast forwarding sir, I'll never show that part again ever SIR!


Runelord of Lust wrote:
Runelord of Greed wrote:
Casts Flesh to Stone on the invaders, then turns the statues into gold with Polymorph Any Object
*takes statue, puts in bathroom, uses as a ... towel rack*

Umm...isn't there something *else* you could be doing with them?


Runelord of Greed wrote:
It would appear these . . . things are invading my, I mean, our capital. Any suggestions on how to remove them? I could make some lovely gold statues . . .

Don't worry if the Runelord of lust will just make a post saying how she loves the new towel racks she bought, I can edit out any footage of the interlopers and people won't wonder where the new statues came from suddenly when they watch "The Runelords: The Movie"


Runelord of Lust wrote:
*takes statue, puts in bathroom, uses as a ... towel rack*

::telepathically:: Didn't we teach you anything?!? You're supposed to be flushing them down your runewells. And if you keep your runewells in your bathroom, we don't want to know what else you've been flushing down there. See, this is the kind of thing that made us come and take our magic back.


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Runelord of VHS wrote:


Fast forwarding sir, I'll never show that part again ever SIR!

::telepathically:: Very good. And never keep that mask down when you're talking to me. I never know if you're making faces under there.


Joe the Aboleth wrote:
Runelord of Lust wrote:
*takes statue, puts in bathroom, uses as a ... towel rack*
::telepathically:: Didn't we teach you anything?!? You're supposed to be flushing them down your runewells. And if you keep your runewells in your bathroom, we don't want to know what else you've been flushing down there. See, this is the kind of thing that made us come and take our magic back.

No wonder my empire went into the toilet.

Thank you! I'll be here all week!

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My Runewell is used to dispose of all of my enemy the Runelord of Beta's minions only...BETA!!!

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