Joe the Aboleth's page

I did submit a progress update on the rewrite of a GSL, for Runelord use, on the previous page.

::telepathically:: Ahh, we will vote in support of your "GSL" with the addition that the Aboleth are deemed equal in position to the Runelords. We are particularly impressed that the craftsmen employed by this thread are already hard at work to our joint benefit.

Was there some other issue that your speaking head wishes to address?

::Telepathically:: Ah, an eminently reasonable position, then.

By the way, we've been meaning to ask - last time we checked, Lust wasn't the only female Runelord. What happened to Envy and Wrath? Spells gone awry? New preference?

By the way: I am contemplating that we may need some sort of Grand Subjugation License (GSL) as I hear that everyone these days needs them to license what their minions (or flunkies in the case of proletariat rabbles who do not want proper minions with panache) can or cannot do whilst conquoring the world on their behalf.

::telepathically:: Ah, yes. We have heard of this Grand Subjugation License. We believe they were first created by Asmodeus. Some sort of geas, yes?

You old farts still there? Your time has past. Your mission statements are poorly written and have spelling errors. You don't know how to hold a proper meeting. Powerpoint anyone? The overhead is not for eating, Sloth. It's not productive to blast it to tinders, Wrath. And... just no, Lust. Oh, and Greed: I know it looks better as solid gold, but we did need those electrical parts to stay in their own elements. I know all this is new for you, you just did that old-fashioned goleming back in your day where you use a simple material and build everything from it, but that's so last aeon. Dead things are really dead. As are undead things. Tinkering with them is just a dull hobby. Biomass, now that stuff has promises.

Your attempts failed. It's our time now. . . . .

::telepathically:: We assume you Runelords will deal with this upstart for his insolence, but we find it amusing that he suggests that our runemagic is past its time and his dabblings in the genetic soup are on the cutting edge.

Who do you think invented genetic manipulation? Actually, who do you think invented your species? A random lightening bolt into some genetic cesspond? ::chortles::

Ygnaith...thfithkh'ngha....y'bthnk...h'... Ia! Ia! Cthulhu fhtagn!

You mean the aboleths want:

Runelord of Greed wrote:

a lack of decent respect to the opinions of mankind

extended to include a lack of decent respect for the opinions of aberrations as well? You want to be ignored and undervalued?

Well I'm fairy certain that my fellow Runelords will be happy to address that concern, and to show a lack of decent respect for aberrations, as well, if you're certain that that's what you want....

::telepathically:: "Mankind," "people," it's all very species-ist, whatever the context. But so long as you're fairy certain, we'll let it slide.

In any event, since most of the runelords don't seem to be minding their posts, we'll take a vote in favor. If we end up with too many votes, we'll just smite one of them.

Fellow runelords:

Can we at least agree that someone needs to send a message to the Paizo staff informing them that we are their new masters- their immediate and terrible (if they disobey us) future- and that they should count themeselves lucky for not being taxed for the privilige of writing about us?
I know that some of you will have difficulties rousing yourselves to agree (or otherwise) so I would think that a majority verdict from amongst the classic seven of you would suffice.

::telepathically:: Hmm. Can we get a cut? Our past differences aside, we wouldn't want to pass up a business opportunity. Besides, you guys owe us one for that whole "rune magic" thing.

Also, we take offense at the use of the term "Mankind."

Runelord of Lust wrote:

Joe the Aboleth wrote:

::telepathically:: Don't think we don't know what you're trying to do. Didn't the last several people you "hugged" end up in your well?

Well...yes...But they did honestly enjoy themselves. :)

Joe the Aboleth wrote:

Remember, hugging counts as a grapple, and we have extra appendages.

So do I. ;)

<Rummages> Somewhere around here I have stashed a stone bust of an Olman deity from another world, for the eventuality of dealing with any uppity aboleths. Unlike some, I haven't spent all my time snoozing for the past few thousand years, but bagging useful items.

<checks, but since Runelord of Lust currently seems to be having much the better of the encounter, holds off on deploying the civilisation destroying weapon for now >

CR 30+ Runelord vs an everyday aboleth named Joe. Oooh. Interesting mismatch.

::telepathically:: Your comparison is irrelevant, Pretender. We speak for the Collective. And incidentally, our "C" "R" is none of your business.

And it is yet to be seen who is having the better of this "encounter" -- we have yet to count tenticles.

So, you would "hug" an Aboleth, but not a disembodied head?

That is life-ist, Lust.

EDIT:

4
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::telepathically:: This isn't a competition, Skullcap.

But I wanna play with them first! And I never said my runewell was in my bathroom. Boudoir yes, bathroom no.

I think squidy-face just needs a hug. *hugs*

::telepathically:: Don't think we don't know what you're trying to do. Didn't the last several people you "hugged" end up in your well?

Remember, hugging counts as a grapple, and we have extra appendages.

Fast forwarding sir, I'll never show that part again ever SIR!

::telepathically:: Very good. And never keep that mask down when you're talking to me. I never know if you're making faces under there.

*takes statue, puts in bathroom, uses as a ... towel rack*

::telepathically:: Didn't we teach you anything?!? You're supposed to be flushing them down your runewells. And if you keep your runewells in your bathroom, we don't want to know what else you've been flushing down there. See, this is the kind of thing that made us come and take our magic back.

Hey, I thought that was just speculation by scholars in the distant future!

::telepathically:: No, no. That was Then, this is Now. We passed Then, just now. Now, you're looking at Now. Everything that happens now, is happening Now.

Where's the Runelord of VHS when I need him?!

::telepathically::What's this!?! Didn't we spank you all and send you off to bed for a couple centuries? (And more importantly, didn't many of you enjoy that? - Sloth, Lust, I'm looking at you.)